Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Jeff Fucking Goldblum Again

I'm subbing right now for this class that's really relaxed--most of the kids are on a field trip, so there are only six kids in here and they don't really have anything to work on, so we're just hanging out. And this girl just looked at me and said the Jeff Goldblum thing. Except the way she introduced the concept of me looking like Mr. Goldblum was more clever than most.

This is how our conversation went down:

STUDENT: So, teacher...what were the dinosaurs like?

ME: (so. annoyed.) Are you saying that because I look like--

STUDENT: That guy from Jurassic Park.

ME: (sighing) Jeff Goldblum.

STUDENT: Yeah.

ME: The dinosaurs were really cool.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeff...ooops I meant Erik...okay, just for the record I never once thought Jeff Goldblum...but I did know someone who used to date/live with him and she was arguably the flakiest person I ever met in my life...which I realize has nothing to do with anything, but isn't that what blogs are for???
Enough said.

Erik said...

Who the freak just called me Jeff? Because I need to beeyotch-slap you, but I don't know who you are.

joe chandler said...

did the student really say...

"Hey, teacher"

I enjoy that detail. Very much.

Erik said...

Joe, I promise you, this is an exact transcription of the conversation we had. Lots of high school students call me "hey teacher" actually. It's a thing. I think a lot of kids are too lazy to look at the blackboard and find out what my name is and "teacher" is the easy way out 'cuz I'm the only one in the room who'll respond to it.

Oh, and there was this girl Jasmine in the first grade class I subbed for who kept calling me "Mr. Fitzpatterson."

Erik said...

And then the kid who sat across from her would be like "his name's not Mr. FITZpatterson!" And then Jasmine would slap her forehead and make a "d'oh" face, though she never said the word "d'oh."

Erik said...

But then 20 minutes later she'd call me "Mr. Fitzpatterson" again. I don't really know what that was about. I don't think I have a very Irish feel about me, though I am a fan of my own Irish accent. (I might be the only fan of my own Irish accent, however.) (But Jasmine never heard my Irish accent, so I think she was just a weird 6-year-old.)

Anonymous said...

I only see Bea Arthur when I look at you.

-Not Jesse

Bonnie said...

"The dinosaurs were really cool" is just about the best response ever.

And that kid definitely gets bonus points for introducing the concept in a most clever way.

(I now totally get why you made your MySpace private.)

Anonymous said...

Isn't the point of being "anonymous" like being "anonymous?"!! I mean, what if I was related to you or something! (tee hee...it's Ilene!)Seriously, I never once thought Jeff Goldblum.

Anonymous said...

I never have thought you looked like Jeff. I always have thought you looked like one of the most handsome of men alive!!
Bloggingly,
Anonymous

Erik said...

NOT JESSE: Actually, I think I look more like Rue Machlanahan. (spelling?)

Erik said...

BONBON: See???? It was IMPERATIVE that I make my MySpace page private. Just too sketchy otherwise.

Erik said...

ANONYILENEMOUS: You can be anonymous, that's fine. It just sometimes drives me batty because I always want to KNOW who it was who said what! Because I'm naturally curious. And sometimes I immediately know it's you (because I'm smart), but sometimes I'm like whooooooooooooo is that/!?!@>#?! And I go a little bit insane.

xoxoxo!

Erik said...

Dear Bloggingly Anonymous,

Okay, so disregard what I said in my last comment about anonymous posters, I totally know who this one was (there was a tell-tale clue) and I think it's very humble of you to remain anonymous while complimenting on your own handsomeness!

Bonnie said...

Your family is so damn cute.

Erik said...

Very cute, yes they/we are.