Someone found my blog today by googling the phrase “use natch in a sentence,” and I’m more than happy to oblige. Since I started teaching, I’ve been dealing with questions like that a lot lately. Like, for instance, just today I was asked to define the words “devoid,” “significantly,” and “morose.” I was happy to supply those definitions, but I’m even more happy to help out someone who’s trying to incorporate the word “natch” into their daily vocabulary because come-the-freak-on: “natch” is a great fucking word, natch.
(Wait, before I get to the meat of this blog entry, which is to supply some natchless soul with examples of “how to use natch in a sentence,” I need to go on a quick diversion, natch, and say that I recently had an email exchange with my friend Lara and I was asking her about her young daughter, the sweetest little girl you’ll ever meet, and Lara mentioned that her daughter’s “favorite words are everything, adorable, poop, and totally, and she peppers all thoughts with them.” How totally adorable is that? I mean, poop—right? Isn’t she your favorite child in the world? Because two of MY favorite words just happen to be “poop” and “totally” and I could definitely see how “everything” and “adorable” are pretty great words in and of themselves, and Lara’s email got me thinking about what my favorite words are.) (And I’m not talking about favorite words in a general James Lipton sense, i.e. words that you like but don’t necessarily say all that often. I’m talking about favorite words that you use constantly. Like, you might not necessarily even know they’re your favorite words but if someone made an audiotape of all of your conversations for a week and then tallied how often each word in your vocabulary came up, you would have to concede that something like “totally” is obviously your favorite damn word because you use it so pooping much.) (Like, I might say to James Lipton that “natch” was one of my favorite words, except if I said that then it would be a lie because even though I enjoy typing the word, I don’t actually ever really use it in actual spoken conversation. Just blog conversation.) (And also I wouldn’t tell James Lipton that “natch” was my favorite word because it would be a pretty lame answer.) (People would be, like, “natch? Really?”) (I enjoy watching The Actors Studio, despite the whole he’s-full-of-hot-air thing, and the one moment from The Actors Studio that I’ve always remembered as a kind of sucker-punch to the gut was when James Lipton asked Gene Wilder what his “least favorite word” was and Gene Wilder answered: “cancer.”) (I miss Gilda Radner.) (But back to my point—actually, not back to my original point but back to my second original point—I would have to say that the words I use most often in actual speech, i.e. my default favorite words, would definitely have to be: “dude,” “really,” “right,” and “poop.”)
Um, okay, this blog entry was going to be a whole tutorial on how to correctly use the word “natch,” but then I got tired of writing this blog entry and was like “I’ll finish it later,” but then I was like “do you think, realistically, that you’ll finish this blog entry later?” And the answer was no, natch. So I’m just gonna go ahead and post what I wrote without the whole natch tutorial because no one really cares about the whole natch tutorial anyway, natch, and I haven’t posted much of anything in over a week and it’s time to feed the blog beast, natch.