Saturday, November 25, 2006

Me and My Snotty Nose (oh, and New Thing #180)

All of a sudden I have a cold and I’m super sneezy and snotty (it’s really gross) (I keep sneezing uncontrollably and blowing nose-gook all over the place). I’ve been trying to get rid of the cold pronto (like, now) because tonight’s my ten-year high school reunion.

So basically I’ve been drinking lots of water, eating chicken noodle soup, napping, and watching movies. Lots of movies. Four and a half, to be exact.

I woke up and watched The Perfect Man (starring Hilary Duff and Heather Locklear) on HBO (it was kinda creepy because there’s a long sequence where hilary is pretending to be her mother’s secret admirer, so that her mother will feel like she’s wanted, but it’s like: your mother is falling in love with YOU, hilary!) (and I’m like: grody!) (and there are all of these sequences that intercut between hilary writing love letters to her mom and then her mom reading them and falling more and more madly in love and, yeah, wow, just creepazoid) (when I was ten, I took this Acting For Commercials class, and the teacher had us standing in front of a camera and he would say things to get a reaction out of us, and I remember one of his directions to me was that “Heather Locklear just walked into the room” and I had no idea who Heather Locklear was [at the time] and so I was all “huh?” and then he said “she’s really hot” and I remember trying to act excited about a really hot woman named Heather Locklear walking into the room, but I don’t think my acting skills were that great at age ten) (anyway, I was really glad when hilary confessed to her heather that she was the secret admirer and the movie started acting like a real teenybopper romantic comedy instead of a mother-daughter love story)

And then I went out to the movies and saw Little Children (starring Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson) (I used my Writers’ Guild card to get in for free) (first time I’ve been able to do that) (hurray for awards season) (New Thing #180) (I thought Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson were both great, but the movie left me kinda cold) (and not just because I have a real, actual cold) (I thought that the use of narration had a distancing affect and it kept pulling me out of the story, instead of feeling for the characters, I was thinking about them, and I feel like the movie should have made me cry—because, hell, I am such a crybaby at the movies—but it didn’t make me cry, it just didn’t) (but I will say that Patrick Wilson deserves to be a major movie star) (and not just because he’s crazy sexy) (he’s crazy good, too)

And then I went to see For Your Consideration (um, I do not have words) (so many talented people, but the movie didn't click for me)

And then I came home and watched My Girl on HBO (you know, with Dan Akroyd, Anna Chlumsky, and Jamie Lee Curtis) and I sat here on the couch and cried and cried and cried. So good. When Macaulay Culkin dies—oh man, it just kills me.

Now I’m half-watching Roll Bounce as I type this, and I’m also sitting here hoping that I’ll run out of snot in the next hour before I have to go to my reunion, and that maybe I’ll somehow lose ten pounds, too, or maybe twenty, because I was hoping to have six-pack abs in time for the reunion, but I don't think I'm gonna be losing that much weight in snot (and if I do, I probably should go to the hospital, not the reunion, because ten to twenty pounds of snot would just be wrong)


Anonymous said...

why don't you have comments? Maybe cuz you lie about "New" Things.

Little Children was amazing, you're a retard.

Anonymous said...

Dan Akroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis have the sexual chemistry of the Dalai lama and Betty White...My Girl is disgusting.

Erik said...

Jesse, you never sign your comments and it's so annoying.

Just because you don't think that using my WGA discount for the first time is a worthwhile "new thing," it doesn't make it a lie!!! jeeeez.

And I think Betty White and the Dalai Lama would have TONS of sexual chemistry. They'd be doin' it all over the place. Totally hot style.

Rebecca said...

When something you've said can make a MOM gag... you might've gone too far. Seriously, 20 lbs of snot?? EWWWWWWW!!!!

The visuals, dude, the visuals....

Hope you're feeling better - how was the reunion?