Thursday, February 23, 2006

Attractive Resume

So, about two weeks ago I posted a blog entry about all of the random things that I google. It was my small way of sticking it to George Bush, of telling him that I ain't afeared of him. If he thinks that the US public is googling scary things and he wants to know what those fearsome things are, well, first of all, screw off, and second of all, you can't take away from me that which I readily give to you. So, look: here's what I done been googlin'.

That's basically what the blog entry said except it was longer and about one percent more elegant.

Anyway, it's been two weeks since that post, and as I'm an avid googler, I've googled quite a bit since then. So I thought I'd share the current list of my most recent google searches. 'Cuz I like sharing. And 'cuz even though I haven't done anything "new" in a while, at least this is a new list you can scan through and wonder "why in the hell would Erik want to google that?" And maybe while you're busy wondering about my google habits, you'll forget that I haven't done a New Thing in, like, forever.

It's not a trick, people--it's an illusion.

"Abe vigoda"
"arrested development" season 2 gags
"awesome cover version"
"Be Somebody, or Be Somebody's Fool"
"beatles cover" because
"best kids books"
"Boston legal" rachel
"breathe 2am" where have i heard
"for the longest time" lyrics
"gale harrold" deadwood
"Imogen heap" "Hide and Seek"
"Imogen heap" soundtrack
"John belluso"
"La weekly theatre awards"
"mr. t" "just say no"
"mr. t" lyrics
"mr. t" lyrics 1984
"mr. t" lyrics stay in school
"mr. t's album"
"obsession with google"
"Ralph feinnes" hooker
"Scissor sisters" "bass player"
"She wants to move" "Six feet under" claire
"sugar boy"
"The odd couple" closing "june 4" playbill
"ty taylor"
80s cover songs
apprentice olympics
aras survivor
attractive resume
bone marrow donations
bridge to terebithia
brokeback lego
bruce shark jaws
calories stay young
ca mega million
cider house rules jillian armenente
cribbage online
daniel clark
degrassi
degrassi sean
degrassi spoilers
fried green tomatoes
get rich quick scheme
headphones illegal california
he-man spider
imdb "the flash"
Kevin van der Perren
life is like a toaster angela
little lando toy
mash theme
project runway olympia
rufus wainwright beatles "american beauty"
santino "making fun of tim" red robin
virtual memory minimum too low
Wagamama's oxford
what are boquerones
wont define
wynn "Las vegas" "opened in"

It's like a random snapshot of my brain, or something.

28 comments:

Bonnie said...

I think "obsession with google" has to be my favorite.

Truly.

You have googlitis.

NOPE! TOO LATE! I already added it to UrbanDick (along with self-Googling, which I couldn't believe wasn't already there). Heeeee!

I AM DRUNK WITH POWER!

Anonymous said...

Erik,
I have noticed the dearth of new things. But I don't actually believe there haven't been any. I would love to hear about new outlooks, ideas, and feelings you have from day to day. Are you feeling guilty about the lack of new things? Are you feeling stuck? Is something huge waiting in the wings? (I am sure that true).

Here's something that happened to me yesterday:
I was VERY busy, and VERY stressed about the 50 million things I have to do. Each day this week I have come to work and haven't done a thing on my list because umpteen other fires appear that I need to put out. And it's not because I can't prioritize (while maybe, because it's 9:07, and I am at work, and here I seem to have decided to be the blog within your blog).

Anyway, I had to get some information out to everyone and I had to collate to do this - like with a stapler. And I sat there really tense about the ten other things I wasn't doing. But I had to do the stapling, whether I stressed about those other things or not they, and the stapling, would all be there. Eventually I would get them. For one brief minute, I sensed that my shoudlers weren't gripped with the effort to hold my arms onto my body. I was calm. Just stapling and being calm.

And then it went away.

But I was proud of myself, and I I am hoping sometime soon to have two calm, zen minutes.

What has been keeping you so busy from new things?

Lindsay

Erik said...

Bonnie, my favorite search is the one for a "get rich quick scheme." So sad that I searched that in all earnestness. And the results that google search yeilded were pathetic, frankly. No schemes of any merit. It didn't even lead me to any pages about robbing banks, which is obviously the quickest getting rich scheme of them all. Did you hear about the gang of robbers who got away with something like 43 million pounds from a British bank this week? I think I heard that they got caught, though, so I guess that proves that the whole Ocean's Eleven/Twelve model of living doesn't really work IRL.

Oh, also, I totally admire your dedication to the UrbanDick.

Erik said...

Lindsay, I so totally completely know that feeling you had when you were standing there with the collating and the stapling and feeling the weight of all of those other things that you weren't getting to. I occasionally have to remind myself to just breathe. Everything eventually gets done. And usually when I can allow myself to breathe and be zen about the fact that I can only do one thing at a time, those individual things get done better, too.

To respond to your comment about new outlooks, new ideas, new feelings, etc., you're totally right. I have been thinking about New Things way too literally. I mean, when I started the project, I figured it would take on all sorts of forms, there would be big and small things, real and metaphorical things, etc. But I've been waiting for a Big New Thing, and not one in particular, really. I mean, yes, there are new things I'm working on making happen, and which will happen when they happen (how vague is that). And I suppose there are some new things I've missed, that I've done in the last few weeks, that I should write up in a big ol' blog post so we're all updated. I'll work on it. What's been keeping me so busy from writing about new things is that I've been writing new things. Honestly. I've just been really focused on getting lots of writing done these last few weeks and I haven't been doing too much of anything else. Which doesn't make for exciting blogging. But the writing must be done!

Erik said...

Hi, Joe.

Bonnie said...

My favorite "Get Rich Quick" scheme is detailed by this guy: Patrick Combs. I had linked to his whole LONG entry in a December 2003 blog entry, but that link no longer works.

If you want to read the whole VERY LONG story, I think the Wiki page has a link to the new place. It's pretty awesome. Except he punked out in the end. ;)

Bonnie said...

Oh, and I stopped being so worshipful of the Urban Dick after I saw that they rejected my variation on mo' brainer.

Dorks!

joe chandler said...

You're trying to draw me out. Well, it won't work. Hear me? It won't work...oh, shit.

Jesse James said...

Santino doing Tim is great!

Erik said...

Joe, I wasn't talking to you. If I had been talking to you, I would have said:

Hi, Joe Chandler.

TheDarkerUma said...

Hi Joe Chandler.

I refuse ipods. I got one for my boyfriend. All my friends have them. But I, personally refuse them.

Much like I used to refuse cell phones.

Hey Joe, is it rude that I'm talking to you and not making a reference to this blog or the blog's owner?

Let me know.
umstra

Erik said...

That Patrich Combs dude would be my hero...if he hadn't of punked out in the end. I mean, who hasn't wanted to cash one of those fake checks?

Erik said...

Hi, Joe Chandler.

Do YOU have an ipod? Or do you NOT? Because if you DO then you can be a part of my cool kid club. And if you DON'T then you can have a conversation with the chick who you've never hit on.

Love,
Erik

Erik said...

Bonnie, do you like how I spelled Patrick Combs name "Patrich" as if he was German or something?

joe chandler said...

hi erik(first name basis), i DO have an ipod. and it's changed my life. last night i loaded 2gbs of music that i don't own from someone else's computer.

umstra(i have called you that before), that person insisted that you should get an ipod. i was simply relaying the message.i think you should trade in your cell phone and get an ipod. if you're only going to have one awesome piece of technology it should be an ipod...or a microwave.

i like having a conversation that has nothing to do with erik, and i have a feeling he likes it too.

TheDarkerUma said...

You people are sick. That includes Joe, Marie (making Joe text me -simply shocking!!!) and the person that wrote this blog. I'm shuttering at the thought of meeting you guys in a dark alley as you shove those hideous white things in my face. Hheheheheh, doesn't that sound kind of sexual. tee heee hhheee

I digress. I DO NOT WANT AN IPOD. I have tons of music from the owner of this blog and it would take me a year to "download" it to this bizarre contraption.

I already have a microwave, thank you very much. So, technically I should get rid of my cell phone.

So, I guess the logical thing to do is not use my cell phone.

Especially, when the owner of this blog calls repetitively (as if by instinct) when I am in the shower.

stuck in the stone age,
uma

p.s. this is fun...

p.p.s. the real jason reade just emailed me.

Erik said...

I love being called "the owner of this blog."

joe chandler said...

the real jason reade e-mailed me today, seems a fake erik patterson tried to sell out jason's best friend to him. didn't work though.

Erik said...

Oh my god.

Erik said...

I did not try to sell you out. I was trying to bait the real Jason Reade into also participating in the comment madness, but he sent me a private email instead. Damn him.

marie said...

ums, i changed my mind. you shouldn't get an iPod. its amazing-ness would be wasted on you.

erik, i asked brian if he remembered what grade you got in tech theater, and he said, "well, i imagine it was an A." see, he loves you now! screw the transcript...

Erik said...

Aw, Marie, I love that you asked Brian what he thought he gave me. And I love that he thought he gave me an A. And I love Brian and I loved his class and I was actually pretty good at building the set pieces, but I was really bad at remembering things for the tests, so I totally deserved the actual C- that I received. But the fact that he remembers me getting an A is awesome. Say hi to Brian for me!

Erik said...

Uma, you just called me, and I am going to call you back in a minute, I'm trying to finish up some work, and then I'm going to call you back. (Actually I'm just waiting until I think you might be jumping into the shower.)

Bonnie said...

1. Hey Uma, I refuse MySpace. Nope. Never visited. Never will.

2. Yeah, Erik, Combs totally punked out, which sucks. But it's such an exciting read up 'til the moment when he becomes a big ol' girl.

3.

4. To be fair, I only got my first iPod 16 days ago and I haven't used it yet. I'm such a posuer. But I do like sitting at the cool kids' table.

5. Now, see, I thought *you* were being German and that was your new thing today!

6. Why don't *I* make Umstra sick? Dammit, I'm NOT at the cool kids' table after all! *pout*

7. KiKi, are you sure this blog isn't "the owner of you"??

joe chandler said...

everyone calls you umstra now...what are you going to do about it.

TheDarkerUma said...

i'm going to kick your ass tonight...."mr handsome".

soleclaw said...

I googled Wynn resort within the last week too! I think about Vegas a lot lately...like, man, when I'm retired I should have saved $5,000 to blow in Vegas and stay in the biggest suite at Wynn. I remember seeing a special on Wynn on "Today" when it first opened and it's beautiful inside! It just seems so magical...like Disney World for sinners. I can't wait to go!...(when I'm retired).

I don't have an iPod either. I want one though, just to be able to say I have one. How sick is that? I don't even work out wearing headphones (let alone work out), so if I had one it would probably only be used on road trips or maybe during housework...maybe. But I want one, never-the-less. To tell you the truth, I'm more of a gamer...so a PSP or Gameboy Advance DS is more up my alley. I think I'll save my husband's hard-earned money for those instead.

Erik said...

soleclaw, I think that if you had an ipod, you would end up using it like crazy. maybe you would even start working out!