So, this is, like, a public service announcement reminding you to go buy a Ca Mega Million Lotto Ticket. Because the jackpot is 145 million clam shells--and if I'm not the winner tonight, then the winner better damn well be one of my friends. "You can't win if you don't play." That's what the dude at the local 7-11 who was buying a ticket just said on the news, and you know what? He's right.
(I can't believe I decided to waste a blog entry by urging people to go and shell out some of their hard earned cash on the lotto, but whatever. Wouldn't it be cool if one of us won?) (The odds of winning are, like, one in 5-thousand-billion.) (But still.) (I just had the most satisfying poop in a really long time.) (I know that a lot of you are thinking "why does Erik insist on sharing poop updates?" but when you have a poop as satisfying as the one I just had, then you have to share. Like, you feel bad if you don't share. Like, you feel so refreshed and free, you know? And you want the world to know WHY you feel so refreshed and free, and you hope that everyone you know can have a poop as satisfying as the one you just had, and you hope that they can all have that poop soon.) (Anyway, one of the reasons I'm telling you I just had a really satisfying poop is to let you know that I've already had a pretty decent day. I mean, the day is going really well, evidenced by my awesome poop--and, yes, I just upgraded it from being "satisfying" to being "awesome"--and so, I don't need to win the lottery for today to be a really good day--today is already an awesome, yes awesome, day. Winning the lottery would be, like, gravy at this point.) (Which, if you're reading my blog, oh ye lottery gods, is a good thing--yes, gravy is definitely a good thing.) (But winning the lottery is not an essential requirement for making this day satisfying and awesome.) (But a good poop is.)
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9 comments:
i got caught up in a powerball frenzy here in Greenwich tonight. It is $363 million here (the highest in north american history). i thought about buying a ticket but the lines were hours long. there was a story on the news of a guy buying $10,000 worth of tickets. the odds are one in 146 million. it would be fantastic to be that one...
i just found these funny news interviews with ticket buyers as i googled powerball and i had to share...
"It's a lotta money, lotta money," one ticket buyer said.
The trick, of course, is selecting the correct numbers. ( I think this is winning advice)
363 million?!?? holy moly.
$190M now! Wooooo!
Yeah, I know, 190 now! It's crazytown. Are you buying a ticket tomorrow (or today, rather)?
We buy tickets almost anytime it's up over $60M or so.
No clue why. I mean, I'd be fine being the winner when it's $7M, but Keith seems to think it's better to "save our money" and buy when the pot is higher. *shrug* Whatever.
I'm always pleased with our luck, though. We tend to win at least six or seven times each year (anywhere from $1 to $10), so that's fun. Of course, I'm really looking forward to winning the big one, y'know? Even if I had to share it with a bunch of other folks, that's a LOT of money. Love it!
Once, there was this lottery commercial on the radio and the jingle went something like, "odds are, you'll win a lot." My dad was really upset by the idea that the lottery companies were trying to make it seem like the odds are really great and you could win the lottery easily. So he called some kind of commissioner in the capitol (or is it capital?) and harassed them about false advertising until they stopped playing the radio ad. And all I could think about was, "wow, how many people would actually care about something like that?" I mean, enough to spend all of that time on hold and trying to argue a case only to protect someone who's probably going to buy a lottery ticket because he wants to get really fucking rich, not because the advertising is effective. Not that I'm knocking my Dad -- that's why I love him. I like that he cares.
Wait, you mean odds are, I WON'T win?????
Then why have I spent so much money on the lottery!??
I love that your dad went to all of that effort. That he made the calls. That he waited. He held. And not because he was mad about money that HE had spent, but because he was watching out for others.
I don't know if you've read the post where I said that I think everyone from Vermont is hot, but I wanted to point it out in case you hadn't because your dad is from Vermont and I think your dad is hot. In a "he cares about people and I love him for it" kind of way, not in a "I want to bone El Anor's dad" kind of way.
The next time you think dirty thoughts about my dad, just know that... i can read your thoughts. You better check yourself.
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