Wednesday, July 05, 2006

237 Reasons Why I Gave Up Soda (New Thing #109-111) Today:

237 Reasons Why I Gave Up Soda (New Thing #109) Today:

1. Because I heard a random story about some guy who gave up all carbonated beverages and lost 15 pounds like that! (snapping fingers for emphasis)
2. Because I don't drink enough water and maybe this will force me to
3. Because my dad started getting kidney stones when he was 30 or so
4. And I'm turning 29 next month
5. Which means I'm almost 30
6. Which means I'm entering potential kidney stone territory
7. Not that sodas give you kidney stones, that's not what I'm trying to say
8. Or maybe it is what I'm saying. I mean, I could google it, but whether sodas give you kidney stones or not, they certainly don't do anything to prevent you from getting kidney stones
9. Whereas drinking freaking water does prevent it
10. So I'm going to drink more water
11. And less soda
12. I wrote the title of this post before I had actually written any reasons (I just thought that 237 sounded like a nice number) and here I am on "reason #12" and I've actually only listed, like, two real reasons
13. But whatever
14. It's my list
15. When I was 12 or 15 (I can't remember which) (which is alarming, because 12 and 15 are fairly disparate ages) (but my memory ain't what it used to be) (I think I was 12) (or, frig, maybe 13) (anyway) I went to Vancouver with my Aunt Jill and a few of her friends (Jill was competing in the Toughest Cop Alive competition) (because she's rockstar like that) and Jill's friend Cincha was there (I think her real name was Cynthia, but we called her Cincha) (the "h" on my keyboard is being all funky and it doesn't want to let me type the letter "h") (like, I have to REALLY HIT THE "H" HARD if I want it to appear) (and I do want it to appear) (because I don't want to call Cincha Cinca) and Cincha had a kidney stone and it was awful, but thank god we were in Vancouver because Cincha didn't have health care at the time and they have great health care in Canada and they totally got rid of Cincha's stone, but I remember she was in awful pain
16. And my dad has had, like, 20 of them (no lie), some big ones, some not so big ones, but whatever, when you're trying to squeeze a giant piece of calcium out of your peehole, they're all big
17. My dad was telling kidney stone war stories at dinner the other night in Pismo and it was so freaking disgusting
18. Like, really disgusting
19. Like, he kept making hand gestures to prove certain points and I had to refrain from looking at him for fear of anoter disgustingly descriptive hand gesture
20. It was awful
21. And now I'm even more paranoid about kidney stones than I used to be
22. And I used to be paranoid about the tings
23. See, did you see tat? "Tings." And on tis line! "Tat" instead of "that" and "tis" instead of "this."
24. Fucking keyboard.
25. Reminds me of Stephen King's Misery. Have you read that book? I thougt the movie was great but the book was even better, and I remember that in te book the hero was missing an "n" on his keyboard (at least I think it was an "n") and King lets us read several chapters of what the hero was writing, without the "n's" kind of like I'm doing right now inadvertantly witout the "h's"
26. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it to 237 Reasons, that's a lot of reasons
27. But back to Stephen King, does everyone go through a Stephen King period?
28. I was OBSESSED with him for a few years. I read his books non-stop.
29. But then he published Gerald's Game and that was the worst book ever (it was so bad that I cast King aside and stopped reading him entirely) (even though I was freaking OBSESSED) (but the book made me physically ill)
30. And I really can't stand King's column in Entertainment Weekly
31. I forget what I gave up at te beginning of tis post.
32. Oh, right: soda.
33. I wish that giving up soda was somehow beneficial to the environment.
34. I watched about five minutes of Independance Day on TV last night and Bill Pullman, as the President, has this speech about how all of the countries in the world need to band together as a united front against the aliens, and I was like "global warming is the new aliens" because we all need to band together against global warming and freaking ride bikes more and plant trees and recycle and tings like tat, and, as Bill Pullman as the President of the United States goes on to say, (and I'm paraphrasing) "From here on out, the 4th of July won't be known as the day America became free--it will become known as the day the world became free."
35. But who cares how free we are if we're all melting from the rising heat every summer and all of the coasts in the world are disappearing as the water levels of all of the oceans rise and millions and millions of people start to lose their homes and let's start doing someting about it NOW, while we can change things, and then, from here on out, the 4th of July will become known as Eart Day (or, earth day, if I strike my keys really forcefully)
36. Holy crap, I just got really tired
37. And ungry too.
38. And tirsty.
39. I've really gotten off subject.
40. I gave up soda today to see if I could do it
41. I gave up soda today because there's nothing good about it and it's such an addiction
42. I mean, great to have such an innocuous addiction, rigt? But still: there ain't nothing good about it.
43. Who do you think is hotter: Jeff Probst or Anderson Cooper?
44. Jake Gyllenhaal or God?
45. George Bush or Dick Cheney?
46. Soda messes wit your mind. Seriously. I'm all addled rigt now because I usually have at least three sodas a day and I haven't had ANY today and I'm addled. Addled, I tell you!
47. I tagged my initials on a construction site the other night. New Thing #110, boom.
48. Here's a picture:

49. I wasn't the only one tagging. There were actually about twenty of us. I won't name names because I want to protect the innocent.
50. It was awesome.
51. Soda.
52. "It was awesome soda." That should be a phrase that means something. Kinda like muggy.
53. Hello fans of Viggo Mortensen!
54. (lots of Viggo Mortensen fans have been reading my blog lately because I went to my friend David's art show tat Viggo produced and then I blogged about it, and some of the Viggo fans found my blog and then they promised to come back occassionally and check how things are going at My Year Of New Things.
55. Y'all (the Viggo fans) are awesome soda. Not "like" awesome soda. You ARE awesome soda.
56. I'm craving chocolate rigt now. The soda desire is fading and now chocolate is calling out to me.
57. I have to go to sleep. I am about to pass out all of a sudden. Maybe I'm tired because my body is used to the caffeine from all of the soda I used to drink (as in, before today) and so now I'm going through withdrawal. (Could I possibly go through withrawal so quickly?) (because it feels awful quick)
58. But my body is SCREAMING for soda.
59. That can't be good. Soda must be a killer. A not-good killer.
60. Did everyone see Superman over the weekend?
61. I did, and I drank SO MUCH SODA during that movie.
62. Actually, that’s a total fucking lie: I think I had fruit punch.
62. Because I knew that I was planning on giving up soda any day now and I was trying to practice.
63. Not that fruit punch is good for you.
64. I mean, it’s probably not good for you AT ALL.
65. Maybe even worse than soda.
66. But back to Superman: I wrote my thoughts about the movie in an older post, but then I was like, “what if no one reads that older post?” and so I thought I’d repeat myself here.
67. Since I’m trying to reach 237, or whatever arbitrary number I’m trying to reach.
68. If anyone is even still reading this right now.
69. They don’t call me Kiki Longpost fer nothin’.
70. Okay, anyway, here’s the thing:
71. First of all, let me preface: I don’t read comic books anymore, but I am a comic book lover at heart.
72. I used to have comic book cases on the walls of my bedroom and I would rotate my favorite comics in and out of the cases.
73. One month I might have featured Batman…
74. Then the next month I might have featured Superman…
75. Then the next month Lobo, then the next month The Justice League, then the next month Grim, and so on…
76. For the most part, I was a DC boy.
77. Sometimes I would buy the X-Men, but it wasn’t because I LIKED the X-Men.
78. Au contraire.
79. It was more because, in the hierarchy of dorks, I felt like dorks who read only DC comic books were lower on the totem pole than dorks who read Marvel comic books, so when I bought Marvel comic books it was mostly to show those higher-echelon Marvel lovers that I could be cool like them.
80. I stopped believing in the Superman comic book after they killed him and brought him back to life.
81. I still believed in Superman, but I didn’t believe in the comic book anymore.
82. I mean, you can’t kill someone and then bring them back to life. You can’t do that to me. It feels cheap. Because if there’s no consequence, if Superman’s life is never REALLY in danger, if you know that if he ever dies he’s just going to be resurrected a couple of issues later, then, well, where’s the drama in that?
83. I just don’t buy it.
84. I mean, you make us go through all of that turmoil, you put us through all of that grief, and then you’re like “just kidding”?
84. So I didn’t buy it: the last Superman comic book I bought was the last issue in the “Death of a Friend” storyline (where all of the heros in the DC universe went through their mourning period).
85. Anyway, all of this is to say that I was a big Superman comic book reader when I was growing up, and I believe a man can fly, and I totally loved the Christopher Reeve movies.
86. And this one…well…I would say I was wildly mixed on it. I mean, okay, yes, for the most part I enjoyed it.
87. Brandon Routh is incredibly charming.
88. The airplane sequence at the beginning is amazing.
89. Whenever Superman saves an innocent random civilian, I got a little bit teary eyed.
90. I believe that the world needs a Superman.
91. BUT.
92. Lex Luther throwing a crystal into the ocean? 93. THAT’S supposed to be scary?
94. The thing is, I didn’t think the movie needed ANY of the Lex Luthor stuff. I was so much more engaged when Superman was in Metropolis. When he was on Krypton island with Mr. Luthor, I was sitting there like, “I should have gotten a soda instead of this damn fruit punch.”
95. And Kate Bosworth was terribly miscast.
96. Imagine if Lois Lane had been played by Parker Posey.
97. Now THAT woulda been a Lois Lane I coulda rooted for.
98. I know you’re probably thinking "but she's too old," but, um, Margot Kidder was 32 when she made the second Superman movie and 5 years have supposedly passed between the second movie and this one and Parker Posey is 38, so she's actually kinda the perfect age to play Lois Lane, whereas Kate Bosworth is 26 and I thought she was way too young
99. Especially because she looks like she's 14.
100. I felt like I was watching a little girl play dress up.
101. Did you notice, in the scene where Clark is watching Lois on TV interviewing the woman on the plane—it’s the VERY FIRST TIME we see her—she asks the woman a question and she makes “air quotes” with her fingers.
102. Lois Lane would NEVER make “air quotes” with her fingers.
103. She may be an awful speller, but she does not make air quotes with her fingers.
104. I’m sorry.
105. She just doesn’t.
106. I know that my blogfriend Michael Hartney had a problem with the fact that Superman let the thugs die on Krypton Island, but that didn’t bother me so much.
107. Lois Lane making “air quotes” with her fingers, on the other hand?
108. Bothered.
109. The crap.
110. Outta me.
111. But back to te Parker Posey thing—I know you're probably also thinking "but she's too snarky," but Lois Lane is SUPPOSED TO BE SNARKY!
112. She's a snarky reporter!
113. Until Supes inevitably melts her heart.
114. And anyone who has seen Party Girl knows that Parker Posey can do the transition from snarky to melty.
115. I'm just saying.
116. (How great is she in Waiting For Guffman?)
117. (So great.)
118. (Anyway.)
119. Despite Lex and Lois not doing it for me, and despite the fact that I wasn’t drinking soda during the movie, I still really liked about 50 percent of Superman Returns.
120. I’m drinking Gatorade rigt now.
121. Is Gatorade bad for you?
122. I mean, they say it’s good for you, but is it really only good for you if you drink it after you’ve been really physically active?
123. Like after you’ve run a marathon or won the World Cup or something?
124. But if you drink it on your couch while you’re blogging, then it’s really actually quite bad for you?
125. I’m just wondering because I don’t want to give up soda and then start drinking more Gatorade and find out that Gatorade is, in reality, even worse for me than soda.
126. My favorite soda is Code Red Mountain Dew.
127. That shit is like crack.
128. I’ll miss it.
129. I was having dinner with my dad and my brothers the other day and we were talking about The Contender and how the one boxer who had to quit last season (because he had the chicken pox) is coming back to compete again this season, and then my brother Josh was like “too bad they can’t bring back the guy who shot himself.”
130. And he was so earnest and sad, but there was something about the way he said it that I found really funny.
131. I’m totally going to hell.
132. I was drinking coke at the time.
133. I was actually on my third refill.
133. So I blame the coca-cola.
134. Drinking Coca-Cola Might Make You Find Things Your Brothers Say In True Earnestness (Like Comments They Make About Dead Boxers) Inappropriately Funny
135. That should be a warning label on coke bottles.
136. Have you seen the warning labels they put on cigarette boxes in Canada?
137. Those warning labels are so fucking rock star.
138. They say things like “this pack of cigarettes will probably kill you.”
139. And “this pack of cigarettes could make you impotent.”
140. And things like that.
141. I have a lot of friends who smoke and I hate it.
142. I do.
143. I think it’s disgusting and it makes me sad because I don’t want my friends to get lung cancer and if you smoke it’s seriously inevitable.
144. And it smells.
145. I don’t mean to get on a soapbox or anything.
146. But my biggest pet peeve (in the world) (seriously) is that smokers think they can just throw their cigarette butts on the sidewalk, or out their car windows, like the world is their ashtray.
147. I am SO debbie downer right now.
148. It’s the lack of soda, people. I’m sorry.
149. But still: stop smoking, okay?
150. If I can quit soda, you can quit smoking.
151. The 4th of July is my step-dad’s birthday.
152. He’s 85 now.
153. Happy birthday Joe.
154. I gave up soda because I want to live to see my 85th birthday.
155. I gave up soda because it's so bad for teeth, but I still drink a ton of tea and I was just wondering how safe that is.
156. Okay, #155 was a lie: I googled “I gave up soda because” and I only got ONE GOOGLE HIT and that was what I typed for #155.
157. Not that #155 isn’t a good reason to give up soda.
158. It’s a great reason.
159. I’m doing it for my teeth.
160. Is soda bad for your cholesterol?
161. Probably not.
162. But it SHOULD be!
163. Because if it WAS, then I would be doing a really good thing for my heart by giving up soda.
164. But if I give up soda and lose some weight as a result of giving up the soda, THEN I’ll be doing something good for my heart so it all works out.
165. Hi Joe Chandler.
166. I wonder if anyone is still reading this list?
167. Who do you think is hotter: Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston?
168. I just realized that I think I actually have more straight male readers than gay male readers, so if I’m gonna be like “who do you think is hotter?” then I should give some equal opportunity to the ladies.
169. Or something.
170. Speaking of which, guess whose boobs are these:

(photo to be inserted later) (seriously) (I have a really great photo to post here, but it’s on a different computer) (come back later for your chance to guess)

171. What do you think would be easier: Giving up soda or Finding out the truth behind the Mystery of Jennifer Aniston’s Third Hand?
172. I just had a really great bowel movement.
173. Clean, solid.
174. I wonder if giving up soda will improve my poop!
175. I know that I should have used a question mark in #174, but my fingers really wanted to type an exclamation point because the idea was so exciting!
176. It’ll probably make me tired for a few days.
177. I gave up soda once a few years ago and I had an awful headache for three days.
178. So far I’ve been headache free this time.
179. I really want the whole “giving up soda” thing to stick.
180. Even though I have likened giving up soda to giving up crack cocaine, I would venture to guess that giving up soda is probably easier to do.
181. I’m sorry (Marie, Annie, Steve) that I haven’t blogged about this week’s Fresh Meat yet. I was out of town.
182. I’m craving cake.
183. I think I was craving cake earlier in this list—or maybe it was chocolate.
184. I’m so repetitive and predictable.
185. I just did some more googling and soda is some scary shit.
186. It’s not as scary as global warming, but the fact that soda is terrible for your body is still kinda the “inconvenient truth” of the body.
187. New Thing #111: I went to my first playgroup.
188. Playgroup is this thing where mother’s bring their kids to a big gymnasium so the kids can play with other kids in this huge open space and the mother’s can gab about motherhood together.
189. I’m not a mother.
190. But I went with one of my favorite muthas, Rebecca Gray, and her daughter Marisol.
191. Last week sometime.
192. It was in this huge ginormous gymnasium place and when we walked through the doors I felt like we had suddenly walked into this alternate child world. Seriously, once you go through those doors the children become, like, the rulers of the universe and the mothers quickly look like living, breathing diaper bags.
193. Which is as it should be.
194. I mean, when you’re two-years-old, the world really SHOULD be yours.
195. Hanging out with Rebecca and her beautiful little tyke got my daddy biological clock ticking (just a little bit)
196. I really look forward to being a dad.
197. A dad who doesn’t drink soda.
198. (do you like how I just, very smoothly, worked the soda angle back into this post?) (“a dad who doesn’t drink soda”) (brilliant!)
199. I want either one or two or four or ten children, I haven’t decided yet.
200. I kind of want a husband first, though.
201. (Anderson Cooper, call me.)
202. (I bet Anderson Cooper doesn’t drink soda.)
203. (Have you read about that woman who went to one of Anderson Cooper’s book signings wearing a shirt that said “Anderson Cooper gives me a boner”?
204. (How cool is that woman?)
205. (Seriously.)
206. (Anderson had a sense of humor about the shirt, too; he loved it.)
207. (Wouldn’t you, if you were him?)
208. (I mean, come on.)
209. (Hilarious.)
210. It would have been easier to give up soda in Pismo Beach, where it was colder.
211. I should have given the shit up while I was up there.
212. Oh well.
213. Who do you think is hotter: James Dean or Marilyn Monroe?
214. Bea Arthur or Estelle Getty?
215. I’m totally running out of steam right now.
216. But I can’t! I’m so close to the end of this list!
217. What if I drank a soda right now to help me push through?
218. How sad would that be?
219. And pathetic, it would be REALLY pathetic.
220. It’s too bad they can’t bring back the guy who shot himself on The Contender.
221. I get to take my lei off today.
222. Had you forgotten about the lei?
223. I’ve been wearing it for seven days.
224. Seven days!
225. When people asked me why I was wearing a lei for seven days and I told them it was a dare, I mostly received blank looks.
226. No one really understood.
227. I mean, SOME PEOPLE understood.
228. But a lot of people were like, (sound of crickets)
229. And then I was like, “um…”
230. The lei finally broke this morning.
231. It’s still around my neck, but it’s broken.
232. So thank god I get to take it off.
233. I hate soda.
234. Soda sucks.
235. I am so fucking over soda.
236. Done with it.
237. Done.

47 comments:

steve said...

I gave up soda as a bet.

drc said...

1. I gave up soda for almost a year...drank water almost exclusively and gained 10 pounds. (And no, my cholesterol level did NOT go down like the doc said it would!)
3. I get kidney stones. I would rather have babies. It hurts less.
5. I'm way past 30.
15. My spacebar sticks (soda on the keyboard!).
27. Yes, I also went through a Stephen King pahse. I still go thru them once in a while.
43. Jeff Probst
44. God (Easier to believe in a sexy God than a sexy Jake G.)
45. George Bush...but they both make me want to puke.
53. Viggo Mortenson is damn hot!
68. Yep, still reading.
121. I don't know about Gatorade
153. Happy Birthday, Joe
167. Angelina by a landslide
204. Extremely cool
213. Dead even
214. Estelle Getty

Erik said...

Steve, did you succeed?

Erik said...

drc, you are so cool for answering those questions! I will comment on your answers later. Rockstar.

drc said...

Still waiting on the boob shot...

Erik said...

the boob pic won't post until tonight!

drc said...

Tease...

Anonymous said...

1. Once my friend threw a "Parker Posey Party Girl Party." Brilliant, no? And there was a male stripper.

2. You know about the twinkie defense?...A guy shot and killed the mayor of San Francisco (Moscone) and a supervisor (Milk) but got off on the defense that he ate so many twinkies that it made him temproarily insane. That's what your soda excuse reminds me of. Also, wikipedia says that guy had too much coca-cola as well. So you have narrowly escaped your sugar induced shooting-spree. But if it happens, you'll be scott free.

3. Yea 3rd hand mystery!

4. I dispute that #174 needs a question mark. I think wondering whether your poop will improve is a statement. Not a question. Anyone?

xo
Lindsay

Jesse said...

if you had had a soda this list might not have been as insane.

Anonymous said...

Canadian cigarette boxes also have pictures on them! And they're disgusting! I worked at a newstand once (okay, I work at a newstand now, not once, but now, like currently) and I get to (ha, get to) stare at those boxes all day. They have pictures of rotting teeth and lungs and sad looking children. Its disgusting. And I know I shouldnt but I secretly judge people when they buy them. But who am I to judge cuz I'm sure i'm killing myself in some way or another too. But I dont know. I forgot where I was going with this. But pictures! You guys should get pictures too. Seriously.

Komal

christy said...

Tea isn't bad for your teeth, it just stains them.

I've been feeling the biological clock ticking, too.

Like, what do I want to achieve? What is life really about?

Anyway, Angelina is way hotter. But way more cray cray, too (I think they go together.)

But I do wonder what race they'll decide IS right for their next baby.

Anyway, I'm glad you gave up soda. I gave it up in high school (except for an occasional jack and coke or something, but I really never get those anymore.)

My new thing is, I think maybe I've given up meat.

christy said...

Oh, and I should mention, Angelina still doesn't hold a candle to Mariska Hargitay.

At least my sister and I agree, coming from two straight women, for what that's worth.

steve said...

It's an ongoing bet that's lasted 10 years. Like Christy I gave it up in High School and only drink soda when alcohol is involved. I don't really count that though. The soda usually messes with my system more than the booze. So maybe I lost the bet, but I don't even know what the wager was.

"Muth" said...

Dude. You didn't bold "New Thing #111" and I'm finding it hard not to believe it's so I personally would have to scour your last several posts for mention of Playgroup and read your love letter to Evidence Room and actually actually actually almost feel sorry. For just the barest second.
Sneak.

Erik said...

drc:

1. i thought giving up soda was supposed to be the Can't Miss Diet???

3. i wish i COULD have babies instead of kidney stones.

15. Soda on a Keyboard sounds like a sequel to Snakes on a Plane.

27. i'm glad you went through a SK phase too. I think we all go through it at some point.

43. Jeff Probst over Anderson Cooper...oh man, I don't know if I could choose, but if I had too, I think I might pick Probst too. Ooooo but I'm not sure.

44. You have something against Jake! You need to find your love for him!

45. I couldn't pick one even if I had to choose. That's a cheat, I know.

53. Can you believe I've never seen the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? I'm afraid to say that because I don't want to lose my Viggo fans. But he's hella hot in that Walk on a Moon movie.

167. Totally Angelina. (Though I love Jen.)

Erik said...

Lindsay,

1. "Parker Posey Party Girl Party" IS brilliant. I hope the stripper was dressed as a hot librarian.

2. The Twinkie defense sounds like something David Kelly would have invented for Boston Legal or something. I'm glad I haven't killed anyone because of my soda-freeness, yet.

3. Yea 3rd hand mystery! (Huzza!)

4. I've been thinking about it and I think that wondering whether one's poop might change could work BOTH ways, with OR without a question mark.

xo
erik

Erik said...

jesse, i am insane, what can i say.

Erik said...

komal, the pictures must be new! that's crazy. i'm grossed out right now just thinking about what the pictures must look like.

Erik said...

Christy,

i actually am starting to believe that angelina ISN'T cray cray, that she just went through her cray cray period and now she's all growed up and it's time to save the world. like, she's one of the real live superheros in our world.

seriously.

Erik said...

steve,

i am hella impressed.
hecka impressed.
hell of impressed.

fucking ten years?

you give me hope.

Erik said...

Dude. DUDE. (muth...)

Ha.

I didn't intentionally forget to bold #111. (Or did I?) (I fixed it at the very least.)

You make me laugh.

"Sneak," ha. (I'm just glad to hear you've been scouring.)

drc said...

Still waiting for the boob shot...

And I've never see the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. My favorite Viggo movies are 28 Days with Sandra Bullock and GI Jane with Demi Moore.

Rebecca said...

Here in the land of cornfields, we call it pop. So I never, ever have to give up soda! Because I don't drink soda. I drink pop. And I drink so much of it that your 3 a day was the cut-down my OBGYN recommended when I was pregnant!! AND he said pop doesn't hurt the baby, so why would it hurt you? You're fully developed, aren't you?

If you ever go to the land of cornfields, you can have a pop, and still be a dad who doesn't drink soda.

I drink diet pop, so I don't think quitting would make me lose weight. It'd probably make me unbearable to live with tho.

I went thru a Stephen King phase, but I liked Gerald's Game. All but that one part - you know which part.

Oh, and Jennifer Aniston. Any woman who messes with a married man looks ugly to me no matter how beautiful she is cuz it's just so wrong.

Kay, I'm done now.

Doug said...

I went through a Stephen King phase, too; it started in grade school when I found a copy of 'Salem's Lot under my brother's bed. I was so obsessed that the night before The Shining came out in paperback I had a dream about going to the book store and buying The Shining in paperback and in the dream the cover of the book (silver shiny with that faceless head in the middle) was exactly like the real one I bought the next day even though I'd never seen what the cover of the real book looked like until I went to the store that next day. Odd. And Gerald's Game totally turned me off, too. Dropped him cold after the first chapter. Tried to read Bag of Bones but man he blathered on and on and I just gave up. Oh, and I gave up soda (Mountain Dew used to be my morning coffee) fifteen years ago. Still miss it.

eclectic mania said...

I only drank caffeine free diet soda, but I thought carbonation in general probably wasn't good---so I gave it up in March. A month later I had just a sip and it REALLY isn't as good as your mind "remembers" it being. I'm still off of it, LOL.

#27 Stephen King. I had every hardback he had written, a few years ago. Sold them all for a buck each at a yard sale. That was probably a bad idea. LOL

christy said...

yeah, about what rebecca said, i just have to say i really don't agree with you about the superhero thing, at all.

she even said to some reporter, while she was obviously sleeping with brad, "if i ever got involved with a married man, i'd be too disgusted to be able to look at myself in the mirror." or something like that.

i mean, don't get me wrong. i think the way she's used her status to bring attention to world issues, and also the way she's showing as well as telling, is great.

but rule #1 of a superhero (i think) is they have to have like, a higher sense of ethics than anyone.

drc said...

Well, you posted the boob shot and I have NO CLUE whose boobs those are.

Nice boobs though, are they real?

Anonymous said...

When someone, God, god, aliens, dinosaurs, Buddha, Mohammad, Allah, your Uncle Joe, or whoever created you, evolved you, spawned you or deposited you on Earth she/he provided you with all that you needed to live 100+ years. 100+ HEALTHY years.
He/She gave you freshly grown food outside your door. Fresh running water, outside your door. And if you chose, healthy, free range quadrupeds running, outside your door.
You only had to go a few steps to get vegetables, fruit, animal protein and water. With those four things plus the small amount of physical exertion it takes to get those four things you could survive, flourish for 100+ years.

The downfall of mankind came when he didn’t want to walk those few steps, yet was willing to go to someone who prepackaged “food” gave you flavored “beverages” and told you that billions have already consumed these “food sources.”

The moral of the story is, if you don’t want to have kidney stones, gall stones, liver problems, colon cancer, etc. etc. etc. Then try to go back to the basic four things that YOUR god provided you + minor exercise. Simple.

DAD

Anonymous said...

yer dad is smart.

hey, are those eleanor's boobs? i don't know eleanor, but you used to always talk about her boobs.

xo
Lindsay

Erik said...

Rebecca, I want to start calling it Pop. Pop is such a funny word to me, in reference to soda. AND the reason I'm cutting pop out of my diet is all of the sugar. I couldn't shift over to Diet Pop if I wanted to because I can't stand the taste of Diet Pop. Except for Diet Dr. Pepper--which, somehow, tastes exactly the same as regular Dr. Pepper. But I'm giving it ALL up.

--I know the part you're talking about in Gerald's Game. Oooooy, yes, I know it. Ug.

--my assessment of Angelina Jolie is more about all of the support she's giving to Africa, and less about the homewrecker stuff.

Erik said...

Doug, Salem's Lot was a good one. I love that you found it under your brother's bed, like it was hidden, this secret book tat wasn't supposed to be read. I can't remember if Salem's Lot had any dirty bits in it or not, but there were definitely some dirty bits in Pet Semetary and in It (and many of his others) and I think I was in 8th grade when I went through my King phase and I felt SO ADULT and mature reading his books, you know?

Congrats on the 15 years of being soda free. That probably means you've never had Code Red Mountain Dew, which was definitely my favorite soda when I was drinking soda, but I ain't drinkin' it no more, so I don't miss it at all. (if i say it enough maybe i'll start believing it)

Erik said...

eclectic--

1. i'm hoping that being away from the soda long enough will make my body start to think it tastes bad.

2. and I still have all of my Stephen King books because I am physically/psychologically unable to get rid of a book. it's an illness, i think.

Erik said...

christy, some superheroes are anti-heros and conflicted and shit!

Erik said...

DRC,

the boobs are, indeed, real.

Erik said...

dad, i agree wit Lindsay, yer smart.

i'm working on it. going back to those basics...

bloggingly yours.

Erik said...

Lindsay Lindsay,

they are NOT eleanor's boobies, though that was a guess!

Anonymous said...

waddya mean just "a" guess? did you mean a "good guess." because it was a damn fine guess.
L

Aimie said...

angelina jolie
marilyn monroe
bea arthur

who's boobs?

i have that tank top in black. it smells like curry all of the time because i wear it at the electric lotus when i work.

tink on with your bad self.

thank you for coming to see me. it made my night. i looooove you.

Erik said...

omg, lindsay LINDSAY!

sorry, but that's kind of a hilarious mistake. YES, i meant it was a damn fine guess. i did not mean that it was just "a" guess.

Erik said...

aims, i was so happy you were working, it was soooo good to see you.

that Surfer on Acid was amazing.

i'm surprised you can't guess who the boobs belong to.

joe chandler said...

erik, i'm so far behind on your blog it's crazy, but soda can give you kidney stones. it happened to my roommate. his name is zach.

Erik said...

omg, how old is Zach?

joe chandler said...

it happened to him when he was 16 or something like that. The Dr. said it was a direct result of Dr. Pepper, but maybe the Dr. was just mad at Dr. Pepper for pretending to have a degree. Har de har har.

Erik, I've been very busy. What happened with the lei? Did I win the bet? or did you?

Erik said...

dear lord, Joe Chandler, I am SO behind on my blogging. i DID, in fact, wear the lei for the full seven days, so that means I won the bet. It finally broke on the seventh day but I was still able to wear it around my neck the final few hours it needed to be worn. Fuck, I need to blog about that, though I don't have much else to say other than what I just said, but it WAS a new thing and I need to take credit for it so I can get my stats up.

Erik said...

Har de har har is right, re: your doctor joke.

Erik said...

i am sooooooooooooooo craving a soda right this very second.

Erik said...

Joe Chandler, tell Uma that you like her boobs. (Don't tell her here--tell her in the comment thread for my most recent post.)