Saturday, July 22, 2006

Turtle Head?

1. It's been too hot to blog lately.
2. I only slept three hours last night.
3. I really have to poop really really badly right now, but I'm at a coffeeshop and I don't want to poop here.
4. Which means I should leave.
5. But I'm too tired to leave.
6. I did this 24 Hour Play thing last night. It actually performs tonight (I think it's sold out, unfortch), but my part is done--I wrote from 10pm until 3am this morning, took a three hour nap, then woke up to read what I'd written, then went back to the theater to turn in my ten minute play, which they're rehearsing right now. I think the play turned out okay. We'll see tonight.
7. If I don't explode from not pooping by then.
8. There's this cameraman dude documenting the entire 24 hour play process and I kind of have a crush on him, but I'm pretty sure he's straight. I haven't been able to suss it out for sure yet, but I'm pretty sure.
9. I keep forgetting I have so much hair on my face and when I see myself in the mirror, I jump back and I'm like, whoa!
10. (communicatrix--I promise I'll shave my beard off within the next twelve months, and when I do it I'll say that I did it because communicatrix told me to.)


drc said...

Are you one of those people that can't poop in public places? Can you pee with the bathroom door open? Even if you are alone in the house?

As for the cameraman...sometimes the crush is more fun than the real thing.

If I come to California, can I come visit you?

dustin said...

you need a good air conditioned dump!

jeremy said...

keep the beard! beards're sexy. just let communicatrix be your beard.

Bonnie said...


Title: ewww.

1. Amen, brothah. See my complaint-laden entries of late.

2. Welcome to my world.

3. You totally have to get over that (and what are you doing with a number three? Have I taught you nothing?!?).

Oh, and I agree with DRC... ya kinda hafta get to the point where you can poop in public. I mean, unless you don't like to leave your house, you're going to be OUT more often than you're HOME. So... the odds are you'll need to poop in public.

4 (to your 6). Woo! Good for you, brilliant playwright. You rule! Can't wait to hear how it turned out. Woo!

5 (to your 8). Oooooooooh, hello Derrick!

6 (to your 9 and 10). You are so good to your CoCo. What will she shave off for you? ;)

PS--What the EFF is up with WORD VERIFICATION?!? Are you being stalked?!?

Erik said...

drc: okay, here's the thing: i can totally poop in public places. if i couldn't, i would be dead right now. BUT, i was at a coffeeshop that only had one toilet--it was a unisex bathroom--and there's always a line for the bathroom, or if there isn't a line, then there's usually one person waiting, and i knew this was going to be a poop that would, um, keep me occupied for a while, and that's way too much pressure. so THAT'S why i couldn't poop at the coffeeshop. if i had been at, like, barnes and noble, or even a restaurant that had two stalls, i would have been totally completely happy to poop there. (thrilled in fact!)

i was talking to Jesse on the phone tonight and I was like, "i have to hang up NOW because I have to go poop," and he was like, "wait, is this still the blog poop?" and then i was like, "do i share too much?" but, no, it wasn't the blog poop. i already got rid of that one.

as for the cameraman, he was very cute and the crush was fun.

and yes, drc, if you come to california, we should totally get coffee or something!

Erik said...

dustin: I KNOW. Totally. Air conditioning in the bathroom is heaven. Imperative.

Erik said...

ahhh, thank you for the beard love, jeremy. i am keeping it for the time being.

Erik said...


re: the title of the post, i know, gorss, i know! sorry. (i meant to type "gross," obvs)

1. hot hot freaking fucking hot. i am afraid it's the beginning of End Times. have you seen An Inconvenient Truth???? YOU MUST SEE IT. We all need to start changing, at the very least, little things about how we live, otherwise this heat is going to get exponentially worse every year until we're living The Day After Tomorrow (Jake Gyllenhaal's movie).

2. Three hours is not enough sleep!


4. Sorry about the #3.

5. (to your 3) read my response to drc for more information about my pooping habits than you've ever wanted. (or will ever need)

6. (to your number 4) honestly, um, the 24 hour play thing turned out well (is "well" the right word?) ("good"?) in the end, kind of derailed in a really weird way. but then in the end, the performance was a lot of fun, the actors were great, the director was awesome, totally loved her--so it all totally worked out. but there was some clusterfuck in the middle there. (basically, the actors were freaked out by some of the things i had written into the short play) (but in the end they were pros and rocked the scene).

7. (to your 5) speaking of Derrick, as soon as I finish writing this comment i'm going to go check out his MySpace page again.

8. (to your 6) i loves me some communicatrix.

P.S. I HATE the word verification thing, but i HAD TO. i used to get maybe one spam comment a week, and that was easy enough to delete, but the other day i literally received 100 spam comments in one day (some of which i've been able to delete, but they're all over the place, so i haven't gotten all of them), and so i initiated the word verification thing. Sadly.

communicatrix said...

Ha! I haven't heard someone talk about turdle-head since my ex-husband and I split up. (He did have some colorful expressions.)

I feel you on the unisex bathroom. How do you think it feels to be a tiny WOMAN and come out of a unipooper having converted all the breathable air in the room to Crohn's fumes?

And please, don't really shave on account of me (although I love a clean-shaven man). After all, we could follow Jeremy's suggestion and still count it as a new thing.