I’m a huge fan of boxing. I am. I’ll admit it. I love the sport. (Which is weird because most people who know me would never suspect that I would be capable of uttering the words “I love” and “sport” in the same sentence.) (I mean, my whole family is littered with Angels baseball fans, and my writing partner is a HUGE Angels fan, so I often get dragged to baseball games, and I kinda think it’s the most boring thing in the world.) (I say “kinda” because I’ll admit that I have, on occasion, been known to get caught up in the game, but it’s usually when there’s a brawl on the mound.) (I usually sit in the stands with a book. Sports just aren’t my thing.) (And boxing? I mean, fuck: boxing???) (I used to think boxing was completely barbaric.) (Back in high school, I remember my high school friend Lindsay [not to be confused with my college friend Lindsay Lindsay, who comments on my blog] would watch Ultimate Fighting and I was so freaking disgusted) (men beating up each other seemed like the most hideous thing in the world) (not that Ultimate Fighting and Boxing are the same thing at all) (they’re actually really very different) (and I’m probably confusing the issue by introducing the concept of Ultimate Fighting) (I still don’t love Ultimate Fighting) (okay, I do) (but for different reasons) (I love Ultimate Fighting because it’s kinda freaking hot) (because it’s basically just guys pawing each other) (whereas Boxing isn’t hot) (or maybe it is, but I don’t see hotness when I watch boxing) (I see the sport) (but I’m getting ahead of myself—I was saying that I used to think that boxing was completely fucking barbaric, and now I don’t think that anymore, but I haven’t even begun to answer WHY) (here’s the thing: it’s all because of Mark Burnett and that damn show The Contender) (let’s start a new paragraph so I can explain myself, okay?)
Mark Burnett came up with a reality show that allowed me to get inside the heads of several boxers and get to know their families and to see their struggles and to literally fall in love with the sport. He made me realize that boxing is really about good, honest men who just want a better life for their families and who, through blood, sweat, and tears, will do anything they possibly can to get that better life for them. (Sure, there are people in the sport who don’t fit that description, but for the most part these guys are hardcore family men.) It’s a brutal sport and it’s filled with heart. I’m being totally serious right now.
Anyway, why am I telling you all of this? It’s because last night I had cocktails with my friends Laural, Will, and Ryan—at Laural’s pad—and Laural has this punching bag (I believe it was a birthday gift from a mutual friend, Mr. Kick Ass) (who does, indeed, kick ass) and we were a little boozy, and hence, a little punchy, and we started taking turns punching the punching bag, and I was trying to explain to all of them why boxing is such a kick ass awesome sport, but I don’t think I was very eloquent about it at all, and when it was my turn to punch the damn punching bag I got a little too excited about it and I punched the crap out of the bag (at least, that’s my version of the story) (the bag might have a different opinion) (but the bag can’t fucking talk so we’ll just have to accept my story as truth) and then, after I punched the crap out of the bag for awhile, I punched the bag a little too hard and I managed to knock myself back on my ass and twist my foot and I’ve been limping all day today.
New Thing #113: I joined YouTube and figured out how to post videos and I have two videos of our boxing shenanigans and I want to just preface these videos by saying that they were taken with my phone and are therefore really bad quality and the video clips also aren’t very interesting (I’m not being modest here) (they simply aren’t very interesting) (“grainy phone footage of a punching bag” pretty much sums them up) (seriously, the quality of the videos is AWFUL) (so you don’t need to feel compelled to watch the videos) (but I’m providing them here because I like the idea of My Year of New Things being as Multimediatastic as possible.)
Video # 1: (this one is just me and the punching bag)
Video #2: (this one is Will and Ryan and Laural and the punching bag) (the punching bag is featured more prominently than they are, though)
Oh, and if you were playing the Whose Boobs Are These guessing game, well, these boobs:
Uma a.k.a. Urp a.k.a. Umstra a.k.a. Urpstra a.k.a. frequent blog commenter thedarkeruma, etc.