Monday, January 08, 2007

I pick "unique"

The following google searches will lead you to only one place: My Year of New Things. The fact that these google searches lead to my blog and my blog only...I don't know if that's unique or weird. I'm happy with either.

8 word searches:
"Scott Caan and I have the same hand"
"snakes are gonna come out of people’s personalities"

7 word searches:
"i just pooped a huge ass shit"
"my newfound love for Louis Van Amstel"

6 word searches:
"the poop in a cup story"
"I think Kanye West is fly"
"my infected wound got all pussy"
"The Incredible Hulk has been defeated"
"Michael J. Fox is a hunk"

5 word searches:
"as attractive as Anderson Cooper"
"derrick is a pit bull"
"Joe Chandler monopolizes my blog"
"seen Tootsie over 100 times"
"your thang with your wang"
"Derrick is such a manstud"
"I am the cock rock"

4 word searches:
"Jennifer Aniston's crotch area"
"an incorrigible little duck"
"Requim for a Fish"
"I had Lolita arrested"
"Urp calls me Erp"
"Shirt signed by ALF"

3 word searches:
"dope-ass sunsets"
"Erik Patterson, please"
"kinda fucking beautiful"

2 word searches:
"Erik McPoopyPants"
"Snowy McPowderBrows"
"Gremlins sheets"
"Eleanor's boobies"

1 word searches:

I totally have indigestion right now. And I'm newly addicted to Top Chef on Bravo. And now I'm off to bed.


joe chandler said...

i was going to see if i could wait 24 hours, but i'm getting nervous someone will scoop it up.


Anonymous said...

i would have posted "first" MYSELF if I'd been able to comment earlier, but there was a blogger maintanance thing or something or whatever and it messed up comment pages. i think.

--erik (now it's not letting me post as my blogger identity)

Anonymous said...

thanks a lot. (that was sarcastic)

if you had seen the last scene in The Holiday you would have seen Oxy, since that's where it was filmed. Jack Black loves filming at Oxy.

you also missed a really annoying scene with cameron diaz running through snow-covered fields in England (where it doesn't actually snow, mind you) to the arms of Jude Law. It was really annoying. She kept dramatically pausing and then laughing to herself and she looked like a goddamn fool.

i went to see the holiday by myself at this fancy hotel that has a fancy movie theater (with fancy candy and alcoholic beverages), and it was full because i forgot that it was friday night, which is when normal people go on dates and stuff. i tend to lose track of weekends. so, it was kind of awkward. i was sitting in the second row at the very end, so i felt like i was going to become cross-eyed. at the end of the movie, this guy who works at the movie theater came down because when the movie ends they stand outside the door with a silver tray with candies on it. he was waiting for the movie to end, and he is right next to me, kneeling with his back up against the wall and then... he starts weeping. Loudly. It was really weird.

so, all in all, there are good things and bad things that can happen when you see the end of the holiday.


Anonymous said...

eleanor, my "thanks a lot" was sarcastic too, in case you were wondering.

How many films has JB filmed at Oxy??? I didn't realize it was such a JB stomping ground.

I love the image of the crying usher. With candles. That's weird. Yeah, ushers with candles at the movie theater is so hella strange.

Cameron Diaz has so many ticky moments in The Holiday. Really distracting. But how cute were Sophie and Olivia?

Anonymous said...

I didn't say anything about Sophie and Olivia so as not to give away any plot points, as if any of my blog readers were worried about The Holiday spoilers. How cute is that?

Anonymous said...

and why is THIS the post we're talking about The Holiday in?

*eleanor's boobies*

Anonymous said...

I can talk about the holiday wherever I damn well please.

Speaking of misplaced posts, I purposefully wrote that you cried for 3 hours, because YOU are having internet searchers everywhere led to your blog by mention of my b--bies. Damn you.
I will get my revenge.

Wasn't Jack Black in that movie that no one saw (including me)? Actually, you probably saw it. It had Tom Hanks' son and that goofy guy that Drew Barrymore married for a minute. There's a scene where they accidentally burn down the library at Oxy. And they always made me fucking late to class. That's it really, but it's not like Jack Black has made a million movies, okay?

I didn't realize that this was going to be such a hostile comment when I first started. Sorry about that. I have a headache.

Sophie and Olivia were hot mamas. So much cuter than Cameron Diaz. Did she really get dumped? I hope so. I would dump her. My head hurts.

Last of all, the ushers hold trays with candies, not candles. It's not a fucking haunted house, it's a fancy pants movie theater. Candles. Now that would be just plain creepy.

Your Answerer,