I was sneezing all day yesterday and I thought it was just allergies, but now I’m afraid I’m getting sick because I’m kinda achy and I’m even more snotty (sorry about referencing snot, I know that the last time I referenced snot people got grossed out, but I think I referenced snot more graphically that time, and this time I’m trying to be as casual and nonchalant and nongraphic as possible in my snot referencing as humanly possible), so I’m spending the day in bed.
But since I’m feeling sick and just planning on lying here in bed all day, I’m kinda bored and I’ve decided I want to have a “comment party”—whoever gets comment #100 wins.
Topics of discussion up for grabs:
--how Diem was totally robbed on MTV’s The Duel last night. (I am so mad at Aneesa. I was actually rooting for Aneesa before last night, but then she goes and lies to Diem and I was screaming at the television) (I know that most of you don’t watch The Duel, but I also know that the few of you readers who DO watch The Duel are as obsessed as I am, and I hope you are as incensed as I) (Steve? Marie? Bonnie?)
--the hotness of Daniel Craig (along with a confession: Casino Royale was the first James Bond movie I ever saw) (and then another confession: that last statement is partially false, because I’m pretty sure I saw one of the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies when I was in high school, but I don’t remember it at all, so I’ve decided to strike it from the record, and I definitely haven’t ever seen a Connery Bond film, so I think it’s okay for me to go around saying that Casino Royale is the first Bond film I’ve ever seen.
--now, I’m really bad at deciphering lyrics—like, reeeeeally bad—but at least once a week someone comes to my blog after googling the phrases “Bryan Adams” and “looking to me eyes” and as bad as I am at deciphering lyrics, I don’t understand what anyone might think “looking to my eyes” is supposed to mean. Maybe that’s why they’re googling it and coming to me for answers. But I don’t have any answers other than: it’s “look into my eyes.”
-- It seems like they’re handing out national holidays right and left these days, (or there was the one, at least) (and I’m not saying Ford doesn’t deserve one) (he totally deserves one) (in fact, I think his death should have gotten more attention than it did) (because remember when Reagan died? That was all you saw on every station for what felt like weeks—it was all Reagan this and Reagan that—and I think Ford got short shrift compared to Reagan) (hey, where does te phrase “short shrift” come from, anyway?) and I want to declare today the National Gia Does Not Have Rabies Day. Yes, her quarantine is over! (Actually, it’s not officially over until the end of the day, and the Animal Control woman should be coming by sometime this afternoon to give us our walking papers.)
--Speaking of Gia, any suggestions on how I can get her to stop licking her bunghole?
--how great is the word “bunghole”? I think it’s my favorite synonym for “anus.”
--I just sneezed and a huge loogie flew out of my mouth onto the couch and it was really gross.
--Britney Spears’ vagina.
--Joe Chandler is a punk.
--Apparently Danica McKeller (who played Winnie on The Wonder Years) wants to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars. I have a feeling she’d be a really good casting choice, actually, because who doesn’t want to watch Winnie Cooper dance? She’s totally hot (I’m not as much of an expert of female hotness as I might be on male hotness, but I think Danica McKeller’s gotta be almost as hot as Daniel Craig) (right?) (or am I wrong here?) and she’s totally smart (I mean, she solved a math theorem and they named it after her) and she’s gotta be more fun to watch on the dancefloor than, say, Harry Hamlin. I think the next Dancing With the Stars cast should be made up entirely of former child stars. Like Wilson Cruz—that’s actually a great idea—if you work for Dancing With the Stars and you’re reading this, steal that idea—NOW—get Wilson Cruz on your show—I remember back in the mid-90’s when we went to the AIDS Dance-A-Thon at Universal Studios, Wilson Cruz was hot off of My So-Called Life and he was one of the hosts of the Dance-A-Thon and he was an awesome dancer—and then, of course, if you need any more proof of that, you can just watch that one episode of MSCL, the Happiness Dance episode, the one that Brian Krakow narrates, when Ricky dances with Delia Fisher at the end of the episode and the whole world (or at least the few thousand of us who were watching) was all like, hello. (Uma, I know you’re reading this right now and you’re thinking “why is Erik going on and on and on about Dancing With the Stars and he still hasn’t written the post he promised to write about the Staples Center show, but I’m sorry, my nose is filled with snot and this random post came out first because I really want to have a comment party) (of course, it’ll be really sad if I’m lying here in bed and no one comes to my comment party, but c’est la vie if that happens) (oh, and wait, speaking of Delia Fisher, I was watching this random documentary in the middle of the night last week about all of the child actors who were ever in Annie on Broadway and there was this one actress, Senta Moses, talking about what it was like to play an orphan in the show, and as she was talking I suddenly realized that she played Delia Fisher and she looked great and it made me want Senta Moses to be on every TV show ever, because she was great, and I can’t believe she was only in three episodes of MSCL because she definitely made a really big impression, but I don’t think she should be on the Former Child Stars season of Dancing With the Stars because she’s not really a big enough name)
--Oh, but while I’m on my rant about former child stars, have you seen this cracked out Corey Haim video??? (if you read Defamer, then you’ve probably seen it because they wrote a post about it a couple of days ago) (I can’t watch the whole video—it makes me too sad) (how can you go from Lucas to this?) (and Lost Boys is soooo not “still there,” Corey—sorry—it was great in its own way, and all, but I think your best performance, other than the one in Lucas, was your performance in License To Drive)
Okay, I think those are enough topic suggestions to get a comment party started.