Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Just call me "the cool sub"

Okay, so my goal in life was to become known as "the cool sub," (to right the karmic imbalance of never being very cool when I was an actual high school student) (not that I really wanted to be cool) (I mean, I liked being a dork) (but still), and I've officially achieved status as "the cool sub," so now I need a new life's goal.

This is a conversation I just had with a student in my sixth period class:

STUDENT: Yes! It's you.

ME: What's me?

STUDENT: You're the cool sub.

ME: (soooo excited, but trying not to act too excited) I am?

STUDENT: Yeah, I was talking to my friend in fifth period who had you for a sub in first period and I asked him who our sub was and he said "the cool sub" and I KNEW he was talking about you.

ME: Cool.


ME: So...what makes me cool?

STUDENT: You just are.

--end scene--

So there you have it, folks. I just *am* a cool sub. Feels nice. (Especially after having been called "Jeff Goldblum" by a record FIVE different students today.) (No one ever says I look like anyone unless I'm at school, is that a teenage thing to do? To say, "has anyone ever told you you look like x" to someone?)

(warhol photo idea stolen from soleclaw)

UPDATE: As soon as I posted this--literally the second I hit the "publish post" button--I overheard the abovementioned student say to another student "isn't he a cool sub," to which the other student replied, "eh, he's just okay," and I was taught a lesson in humility: don't go publishing blog posts about how cool your students think you are because (1) that's sooo not cool, and (2) they can take away as easy as they giveth.


j-dō said...

wow! i have never been first before...

i love when students call me a cool teacher as well. i do not know what it is about the approval of a third grader that boosts my self esteem (i mean they also think cap't underpants and glittery pencils are cool), but it sure does feel good.

Jesse said...

Cool people never say they're cool, or blog about it, they just are.

You're cool, don't worry, but I'm glad that last student kept you in check.

christy said...

I'm taking my CBEST Feb 10th!

I think I want to be a 4th grade teacher, fo' real. But subbing will give me a chance to check out ALL grades and then hopefully get my emergency certification for the fall. But I think fourth grade is still fun but the kids are like cool little people with developed personalities by then.

I love kids. And hate corporations.

(I just wrote "corporates" and edited it. But I think I hate corporates, too.)

Oh, and btw I never got a Christmas card from you. But you probably already know that.

Oh, AND I've started blogging again. I don't know if I can/want to keep with it or not, but at least for now I am.

Anonymous said...


first, congrats on being "first"!

second, i also think cap't underpants is cool (i just got my 5-year-old uncle his first cap't underpants book for christmas and he ran around the whole house yelling about underwear and it made him so happy)

third, yeah, it DOES feel good when the students think you're cool, and i guess we shouldn't feel ashamed to admit it.



Anonymous said...

But then, I agree with Jesse about the whole "cool people never say they're cool" thing. Further proof thant I'm not really cool. (I like the word "thant"--a typo for sure, but it kinda brings some Elizabethan flavor to the word "that" and doesn't the word "that" deserve a little Elizabethan flavor after all of these years?


Anonymous said...


--good luck on the cbest!

--my advice: study, study, study (the truth is, i studied A LOT and the practice tests in all of the practice books are actually way harder than the actual test so then when i took the test it felt like a joke compared to the practice tests and i totally aced it)

--i've subbed for almost every single grade, but oddly have never subbed for third or fourth. imho, kindergarten is great because the kids are so much fun and you get to play games and read stories all day. Then, first grade SUCKS because the kids still want to just play games and read stories but you have to teach them ALL OF THE BUILDING BLOCKS AND FUNDAMENTALS THAT WILL SET THEM UP FOR ELEVEN MORE YEARS OF LEARNING--and they are so much more interested in talking to you about boogers and caterpillers. Then by second grade they're starting to get the hang of the whole "learning" thing, but still a little first-grade antsy. I would imagine kids hit their stride in 3rd and 4th grade and really get into learning--so i bet those grades are great to teach. by fifth grade, they're starting to think about boys and girls--not in a real way, but a certain awareness starts to kick in, and they think they have the whole "learning" thing down pat, so they're more interested in passing little notes that say things like "jenny likes tom" and giggling, but you don't mind so much because they're mostly doing they're work and they're cool to talk to. then sixth grade is tricky--if they are at a grade school that goes through sixth, then they are the rulers of the roost, but if they're are the lowest totem at a middle school, then it's like Major Suck. Which continues through middle school--every middle school class i have ever subbed for has been so much suckage it's so awful. And then high school has it's ups and downs, but i dig it. in conclusion, i'd be willing and happy to teach kindergarten, third, fourth, fifth, or any high school class, but if i was teaching high school i would prefer sophomores (because freshman are still kinda lame and juniors are stressed because "junior year is the toughest" and seniors, while hip, are so over school and just want out, out, out--but sophomores, on the other had, are like: "school!")

--what was my next point?

--oh yeah, hate to the corporates.

--a funny thing happened on the way to the post office. actually, nothing funny happened on the way to the post office, but i did my christmas cards in two waves and the first wave got in the mail and the second wave is still waiting to be driven to the post office--but the cards will be put in the mail! sometime within the next five or six days! and that's a promise! so forget about it and then it'll be a pleasant surprise. (i'm all for extending the holidays.)

--welcome back to blogland.

bloggingly yours,

kelp kleptos go diggity in underwear stores


christy said...

re: the CBEST -

my sister, my mother and i together could not figure out how if suzie could paint the house in four hours and if john could paint the same house in six hours, how long it would take them to paint the same house together.

my sister is a ph.d. candidate in clinical psych.

my mother is an elementary school teacher, herself.

all three of us said, "five hours!"

but that's stupid, because suzie by herself could get the house painted in four hours, so with help it would be quicker.

the answer is 2 hours and 24 minutes, and i eventually concocted an equation that got me to 2 hours 20 minutes.

my sister had the best answer:

"john's a loser - tell him to go home and have suzie paint the house by herself."

thanks for the welcome back, and the breakdown - my mom keeps saying i should teach kindergarten. high school english would be okay, but SO MUCH WORK.

and my sophomore year i was totally like "school!", and that was the only year. besides kindergarten thru fifth grade (i went to a middle school, then TRANSFERRED to a junior high = four years of middle school/junior high. my sister did the opposite...had TWO years. plus she got all the young, cool teachers and mine were all old and mean. which might be why she is in a clinical psych program and i may never go back.)

another jabberwock wants viable interludes on camera

Anonymous said...


your sister is so right, john is a loser, suzie is way better off without him.

teaching is a lot of work in general. i suppose that high school might be tougher because maybe you're grading papers you have to think about in greater depth, but all of the prep work and lesson planning and so forth for elementary school can also be intense. but i would imagine easier grading. so, 6 of 1, a dozen of the other. (or whatever that phrase may be.)

Four years of middle school/junior high sounds like HELL.

i denied everyone her big eggs.


Eleanor said...

this is the best blogedition ever.

Anonymous said...

that's funny!

Anonymous said...

hey eleanor,

your boobies.


Anonymous said...

eleanor, how weird! i was just writing that comment about your boobies and now you're calling me, but i'm at school so i can't answer my phone. (my students are taking a quiz, but i still can't answer my cell phone.)


Anonymous said...

Adam, I thoughter it was more sad than funny, but I'm the one who went from cool to just "eh, okay."


Anonymous said...

Do you think the kids have found your blog yet?

Anonymous said...

You are one of the coolest people I know. And one of my four heroes.

Erik said...

Rebecca, I HOPE NOT.

Erik said...

Awwwww, thank you dad.

Anonymous said...

you're one of my heroes too.

save the cheerleader, save the world.