Thursday, January 18, 2007

Overheard in class today

Teenagers are so funny. This girl came into class today, pissed off, and announced, to no one in particular:

I may be eccentric, but I am not contrived! I put effort into my appearance because I take myself seriously. Why can't the world?

True story.


Love it.


Anonymous said...

Alice thinks James is burried in the ice box. She doesn't know he's hiding under his bed doing his algebra.


Erik said...

I'm so confused by the above comment.

Who are Alice and James?

Anonymous said...

Alice is a girl who likes to jump rope in the morning before her breakfast cereal. She forgets who she is every evening and encourages her teddy bear to indulge in candy and coconut cream pie.

James lives across the street and torments her with his foul language and sour posture. His hair is reddish and curly and he gets goose bumps everytime he sees a blue cadillac speed by his house.

(i am just being silly. i really don't know who alice and james are. it was just a little story.)

Erik said...

I worry for James. The blue cadillac appears to be a harbinger of doom.

Anonymous said...

Well, in order to understand James's affinity for the cadillac, you must know a little bit of his history. When James was in the third grade, he refused to write the letter Q in his writing excercises. He also didn't like to multiply any number by 5. He said it made him feel queasy.

So his mother was called many a time to sit at the principal's office and hear him state time after time that not only was James unruly, he had a distinct and citrusy odor about him.

From the office window, James would watch as his mother pulled into the school parking lot with her blue cadillac and he knew that when she drove him home that afternoon, she would buy him an ice cream sundae with crushed almonds and a springy cherry on top.

Erik said...

But what of Alice?

Anonymous said...

Alice has a different story all together. She comes from a family of dairy farmers from Geltin, Pennsylvania and to this day is terribly disgusted by cheese...particularly cheddar. Just the thought of it makes her gag.

She has a tendency to daydream about the boys she likes in precarious circumstances, that's why she was under the impression that James had been buried in the ice box when in fact he was not. Just the other day, she imagined him chained to the gate in her backyard as fluffy, her terrier, nibbled at the rotting sock on his lifeless foot.

Oh Alice...she's so tender in her daydreams.

Erik said...

Are Alica and James going to end up together? Because I think they're perfect for one another.

Anonymous said...

How did you know? It's true. Many years later, after Alice became a nurse for the elderly geese of her town and James declared himself sole proprietor of a snail circus, Alice decided to confess her perturbed, but honest love to him. James, in turn, asked her to marry him. It was a simple ceremony in the town square, remembered for many years as the wedding with the miniature schnauzer band that lasted till noon the next day after a torrential storm.

They were married for many years and had two daughters and a son named Roy. This confused the children most of the time. They never knew who mom was referring to when asked to take out the trash, so they became known as Roy One, Roy Two and Tom.