If you're bored, go play THIS GAME. It's completely addictive and I am obsessed with trying to reach 2 minutes. My best score so far is somewhere near the 40 second mark. WHICH IS REALLY GOOD. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "40 seconds doesn't sound like a very long time, how can that be a good score?" BUT IT IS. Trust me. Play it and you will see. Really fucking difficult and addictive. (I feel like maybe I've already posted the link to this game on my blog.) (Have I?) (I've been addicted to it for a really long time.) (I just got really hungry.) (Like, typing that last sentence was the thing that kicked me over the edge from "okay" to "really fucking hungry.") (Speaking of things I'm addicted to--I have been addicted to tuna since I was a kid--I love the stuff--mercury poisoning be damned--and I'm really craving a tuna sandwich right now--but--and get this--this is so sad--I am housesitting right now, and there are, like, 10 cans of tuna in the cupboard, BUT I CANNOT FIND A CAN OPENER.) (I have spent over an hour searching for a can opener.) (But there MUST be one, that's the thing.) (I mean, who has 10 cans of tuna in their cupboard and no can openers.) (I could just go buy a tuna sandwich, but it's sort of become my mission in life to find a can opener in this kitchen.)
Oh, but before you go play that game, you must go to CHRISTY'S BLOG and vote on her poll. It's a time sensitive poll and it's essential that you go vote now, even if you don't know Christy.
Oh, and also, this is totally random, but I watched the two big "must see" finales on NBC last night. Does anyone still watch Will and Grace anymore? Because their finale was brilliant. Seriously, totally brilliant. Amazing. Wonderful. Imminently watchable. Oh, and it was also, hands down, THE WORST HOUR OF TELEVISION EVER CREATED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TELEVISION.
As I was watching, I kept exclaiming (with a yiddish accent): "This is supposed to be a sitcom?" It was so dramatic it was like all of the actors thought they were acting in a play by Chekhov. Now, I love Chekhov. But this was no freaking Chekhov.
If you told me that some random rich dude who had never written a word in his life won the right to write the finale as part of some sort of charity auction, I would not be surprised.
I was expecting it to be bad, though. It's been bad for a really long time. So I wasn't surprised when it lived up to my expections. What did surprise me, though, was ER. I haven't watched ER since Dr. Greene left, and apparently they still know how to make good television because I cried like a baby. And I haven't seen this show in YEARS. (As opposed to Will and Grace, which I watch pretty much every week because it's fun to marvel at how bad it is.) (It's like, imagine if Showgirls was a sitcom--you would watch, right? To marvel at the bad.)
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61 comments:
first
that was weird.
and i read it first.
that comment about me dominating your blog is such bullshit.
domination.
What was weird?
Technically, I read it first, Joe.
And Joe, you can dominate my blog all you want, but I still can't find my fucking can opener.
the thing that was weird was me looking at your post and no one having left a comment yet. my first comment was supposed to read "first?" with a question mark. but my phone rang while i was posting. it is also weird cause i never tried to be first, but now that i did it, i'm really happy.
Oh, and I don't know if I ever said this, but it really made me really happy (so happy I have to use the word "really" twice) when you made that other blog to compete with my blog. That made me smile and giggle a lot.
I can't decide whether or not to keep posting. I think I'm leaning towards leaving it alone and having it stand as a monument to a very entertaining day.
Oh, ok, I thought you were saying it's weird that I like tuna sandwiches, or that it's weird that ER made me cry, or that I enjoy watching Will and Grace even though I think it's worse than death itself.
It's your call. There are benefits and cons to both sides.
Let's examine the facts.
IF YOU KEEP POSTING ON YOUR BLOG:
You could provide lots and lots of entertainment for lots of people because you're a funny man (pro) or the joke could wear really thin and then you might incur the wrath of lots of people who think it's an old joke (con).
IF YOU STOP POSTING ON YOUR BLOG AND LEAVE IT AS A MONUMENT TO A REALLY FUNNY DAY:
We could occasionally go back to your blog and remember the good times and be totally into how you've honored it and people would love you the world over (pro) or people might keep going back to the blog and every time they go back to the blog and see that there are no new posts they start to hate you and you incur the wrath of lots of people who hate that you don't update your blog daily (con).
Joe, do you know what's REALLY weird? Like, weirder than you forgetting a question mark and then commenting about it without saying that's what you were commenting on and then making me self conscious about you calling me weird when you weren't?
We are the only two people who have commented here. There hasn't even, like, been a "Fourteenth!" or a "hi, Joe!" from Uma or Christy or anyone.
I am going to give up and go buy a tuna sandwich now.
I am so excited for your night of television, Urp.
Watch Will and Grace first. It's SO BAD. I am going to go so far and say it's the worst series finale I have ever seen.
And ER actually won me back. I am going to watch it again next season after this episode.
18th!!!
And did you look to see if they have an electric can opener or a manual one? And maybe it is a small John Wayne can opener like the Army has? If not, guess you have to use a sharp knife!
joe, you're the one who voted that i'm a loner, aren't you?
oh and i didn't see either finale.
by oh my god. grey's anatomy? hellooo...
and i just got fucking fired!
i don't know how i feel about that.
i mean i'm pretty fucking ecstatic.
but then i feel like that's an inappropriate response.
Erik - I actaully turned the tv on and watched the W & G finale for a few minutes and then TURNED IT OFF. Really, not very interesting.
Joe - You should utilize your blog like the spinoff of a great series that references the original series. But don't post except when you have some sort of argument with Erik here in the comments section, then bust out with a new post (and link, of course)to your better year.
And Christy - I just started watching Gary's Anatomy about 4 episodes ago, and I am TOTALLY HOOKED. I can't believe I have to wait all summer to see it again.
xo,
Lindsay
Lindsay.
Perfect.
Joe.
drc, here's the thing: they DO have an electric can opener, but as far as i can tell it doesn't work and it looks like it hasn't worked in a really long time, so that means they must have a manual one somewhere, but i finally gave up and made an egg salad sandwich because you don't need a can opener to open eggs (except when i say i "made" an egg salad sandwich, i really mean i bought one at starbucks) (they have REALLY good egg salad, people!)
I always think of Will & Grace and recall fondly the Christine Ebersole shoulder implants episode. Did you see that one? How far it's fallen since....
BORING!
PAM
ok, christy (and lindsay), a couple of things:
1. I AM COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH GREY'S ANATOMY.
2. The finale was AMAZING. So freaking good.
3. We are not allowed to talk about specifics of the Grey's Anatomy finale on this comment thread, or any other My Year Of New Things comment thread, because certain My Year of New Things readers (*cough*cough*Uma*cough) have only seen the first season and they are waiting for the second season to come out on DVD so they can get up with the rest of us (which I wholeheartedly approve of) (and Lindsay, I totally think you should rent the first season and watch it and then when the second season comes out, you should rent that too, so that you can have ALL OF IT under your belt for the beginning of the third season) (when i am a fan of something, i am such a TOTAL FAN it is ridiculous) and, anyway, since there are certain (*cough*uma*cough) people who haven't seen any of season two, I don't want ANYTHING to be spoiled. So even though the finale was AMAZING and worth hours and hours of comment dialogue, we will refrain.
4. Thank you kindly.
Okay, I have other people to reply to, but first, PAM, you are such a fucking punk ass.
Christy, congrats on being fired!
Dad, did you honestly get 77.842 seconds?????????
YOU ARE A GENIUS!!!!! (I actually just spelled that word with an "o" in it, like "genious," and then I realized that was hella wrong, and then I almost left it because how funny would it be to accidentally spell "genius" wrong, but I fixed it because i didn't want to look like an iodiot)
And I can never watch ER because I always get distracted by the extras in the background of EVERY SCENE. Walking with frenzied determination from left to right, background to foreground. It makes me crazy.
But I'm sure you won't have a problem with this next time you watch, Erik. All those extras won't be a distraction for you at all. You won't look at them and wonder why the hell that ER is so constantly busy, will you?
Heh, good luck.
If anyone can get a higher score on that Escapa! game than the one my dad (purportedly) got (I kinda want you to take a picture of your score, because it almost seems impossible to get a score that high) (unless you are a genius) (which it sounds like you might be) (which means my dad is a genius) (which means I am the son of a genius) (which therefore means I might be too) (maibe!)
Okay, Kyle, don't leave, or come back, because I have some genius ER extra stories to share, in a second. (YES, I WAS ONCE AN EXTRA ON ER.)
Oh, I should amend my ER comment. Although the extras make me crazy, I actually turned once and for all on ER when that bald doctor got his arm cut off by the helicopter blade.
Kyle, seriously, I have a brilliant ER extras story. It's coming up. (By the way, I officially stopped watching the show when Dr. Greene died.)
Can't wait! Did the director give you high praise for your frenzied determination??
Just wait. It's coming. I'm moving down the list of comments still. I have to reply to Lindsay and then be snarky to PAM and then I'll tell the ER stories.
Lindsay, I think your plan for Joe's blog is BRILLIANT. (And it sounds like Joe is on board.) (Rock star.)
PAM, sometimes you can be really mean, do you know that?
I've grown tired of it.
(yawn) (getting up from the table) (inexplicably leaving)
I'm waiting....
Look at Frank. He's waiting, too! He's breathless with anticipation! Or he's breathless because he's dead! Either way, Frank and Kyle are waiting!
Okay, Kyle, here's my experience on ER. Basically, I was an extra in Hollywood for about five minutes. I played a cop in some indie movie that was never released, and I played a paramedic on ER. The day on ER was hella exciting. This was many many years ago, back when I actually still watched the show (i.e. Dr. Greene was still alive).
Okay, so, after we all got into costume, they had all of us extras wait in the "waiting room," i.e. the hospital waiting room set. And the second AD or whoever it was stood in front of us and would point--"okay, i want you here, and you there," etc. They gave me a gurney and I walked around the nurses station. Really boring. (When the episode aired, you could actually see my body--but not my head--I was too tall to fit in the screen--walking past camera, like, five times. You literally see me going by with the gurney FIVE TIMES.)
Anyway, it was really boring, me and my gurney, so I got a lot of people watching in. And there was this woman. This crazy old woman. Who was SO. FUNNY.
The scene was between Dr. Greene and a mother who was upset about her son. This crazy old woman had been placed in a wheel chair directly behind Dr. Greene and the mother--so she was in direct view of the camera, right smack dab in the middle of the screen.
Before we started shooting, she was sitting there, all normal-like...
...and then they said action...
...and this extra in the wheelchair started ACTING. Like, I wish I was telling this story in person right now because this is the moment in the story when i would act out what the woman was doing.
She stetched her arms out really big.
She grimaced.
She winced.
She shuddered.
She shook.
She rolled her shoulders, she rolled her head, she moaned.
It seriously looked like she was having some sort of epilepsy fit, but a really badly acted one, so you knew she wasn't actually in any sort of pain, it really just looked COMPLETELY INSANE.
They yelled cut.
The director went up to the extra, gave her some direction.
Dr. Greene and the mother actress waited, completely aware that this extra had just ruined their scene (BECAUSE IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE UNAWARE) (YOU COULD SEE HER ACTING ALL THE WAY OVER IN CRAFT SERVICES) (OUTSIDE)
The director yelled action again. And this extra in the wheelchair started doing it AGAIN. But this time EVEN BIGGER. (If that's possible.)
They yelled cut, the director went up to her AGAIN and told her to stop acting AGAIN.
We did the scene AGAIN. And AGAIN, she went CRAZY with her schmacting.
Finally, they moved the wheelchair so she was in another room, completely out of camera range. (Why they did not do this after the first take, I do not know.)
The crazy thing is, this wasn't the crazy woman's first day. SHE WAS A REGULAR EXTRA.
So I know what you mean when you say the extras are something to watch on that show.
Oh, also, after I pushed the gurney around for a bunch of takes, they used me for another angle (because my face hadn't actually ever been on camera) and they told me to just go stand at the end of one of the hallways. This was for a moment at the end of the scene where Dr. Greene grabs the mother's kid (I forget the context) and takes the kid from the mom and runs down the hall with the kid.
Directly past me.
I was totally in full view of the camera. I would definitely be seen. Now, I had just seen this crazy woman be all crazy and I didn't want to appear crazy, but I also knew I had to be doing something more than just STANDING at the end of the hall. I mean, paramedics don't just STAND at the end of random hallways. So there was a phone on the wall and I totally just stood there and had a fake conversation on the phone and then looked at Dr. Greene as he ran by, like, "why are you running down the hallway with that kid?"
And that was the act break. When it was on TV, you could totally see Dr. Greene running down the hallway with the kid, and then the camera kinda held on me as I was all "um, what the hell are you running down the hallway with that kid" and then it cut to commercial.
Oh, and I don't want to say HOW i got them exactly, but I have a copy of the VHS dailies of Dr. Greene running past me in the hall (but not of the crazy extra in the wheelchair, unfortunately)
Yeah, I bet it's fun to watch your dailies...but that old lady would've been the real score....
I tried to get the old lady's dailies, but I didn't have as much time to root through the box of video tapes and shove tapes down my pants as I would have liked.
oh well...it's probably best. You'd just be disappointed, and studying her takes might've ruined the impersonation you'll do of her at parties for years to come.
I just had to look up the word "impersonation" because it looks weird.
i'm going to the party.
and lindsay, i won't say anything specific for the sake of (cough*uma*cough) but i really thought the grey's finale was the best thing i've seen on a network in quite some time.
Christy, YAY! I am glad you're going to the party.
And thank you for following my anal retentive No Grey's Spoilers comment thread rules.
But did you cry? I cried.
I haven't watched ER in years and years and now I am in total meltdown: Dr. Greene DIED???????? Holy Crap!
Sorry to break the news, Doug. But it's true.
LINDSAY:
I forgot to comment on your typo. I really really really think they should make a spin-off show called "Gary's Anatomy."
And Urp, that DOES sound awkward. Have fun! (You guys are gonna get along like gang busters.) (Unless you don't.)
i have a sneaking suspicion that we're going to have a good time.
oh, and i *cried like a baby*, erik.
I was going to post exactly what Doug posted.
Hee!
So, instead, I'll just post that I was going to post what Doug said.
Boring! (ME, not YOU, no matter what your PAM says.)
RE: Will and Grace - couldn't agree more! It used to be so funny, and it just all turned so bad.
But the finale! GAK! The part where Karen and Jack are like an old boring married couple, singing Unforgettable to each other? And we were supposed to be happy for them?! And the cornball, ham-handed ending? OMG! They phoned that one in.
Hearts for the ER story! So many hearts! ManyMany!!!
And hearts for Grey's Anatomy on DVD!
And hearts for my endless stream of typos thanks to my shoddy typing! Adam showed me how to preview the comments, but I always forget. Oh, well.
I wish I had seen you on that episode of ER.
xo
Lindsay
Lindsay, I love you even more for your typos. Harts to them.
Jenny, "wow."
That's what I kept saying to myself while they were singing "Unforgettable," I just kept saying "wow" and "they're still singing" and then "wow" some more and then "they're really still singing" a couple more times.
Oh, and Lindsay, I"ve never "previewed" a comment, either, and it's my dang blog.
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