Saturday, May 06, 2006

Driver in the Dark

Most of my favorite movies I can watch over and over again. Like, for example:

I’ve seen Tootsie over 100 times. (This is a wildly low estimate—I would guess that I’ve actually seen Tootsie about 300 or 400 times.) (Seriously.) (When I was a kid, during the summer, I used to watch it on fricking laserdisc every single afternoon.)

I’ve seen Wet Hot American Summer about 20 times. (Nine times in the theater, thank you very much.) (Because it's one of the funniest movies ever.) (And it's tender too.) (Funny and tender.)

I’ve seen Back to the Future at least 100 times. (This is probably a wildly low estimate as well, but I don’t think I’ve seen it quite as many times as I've seen Tootsie.)

I’ve seen Dude, Where’s My Car a total of 8 times. (All in the movie theater.) (And I can’t say that this is even close to being one of my favorite movies—in fact, it’s a dreadfully terrible movie—but it’s also brilliant, if that makes any sense—and I wanted to list it because I think it’s significant that I’ve seen this movie 8 fucking times in the motherfucking movie theater.)

I’ve seen Gremlins about 100 times. (The summer it came out, I made my babysitter take me to see it on the big screen every day for the entire summer.) (True story.)

I’ve seen Howard the Duck god-knows-how-many-times (a couple dozen, probably), but I have seen it 4 times on the big screen. It was the first movie I ever went to see alone. I was nine-years-old. No one would go see it with me. So I made PAM drop me off and I went to see it alone. Four times. I remember I sat in the back row every single time I saw it because I was afraid that if anyone was sitting behind me they would know that I was alone and they would try to kill me, so I sat in the back row to prevent anyone from being able to sit behind me. (Howard the Duck may have been my favorite movie when I was twelve, but in case you’re worried about my taste in movies, I would like to point out that it’s dropped down the list from #1 to, like, the bottom of the list, I just wanted to include it here because I think it’s funny to note that I’ve seen Howard the Duck four times on the big screen, which I’m certain is a feat not too many people can lay claim to.) (There’s this joke in the movie where Howard the Duck is asleep and Lea Thompson looks through his wallet and she finds a condom and she says to herself, “oh Howard,” as if she’s saying “what an incorrigible little duck,” and I remember I had no idea what a condom was at the time [I was nine, for chrissakes] and years later when I finally learned what a condom was, I remember the first thing I thought was, “so that’s what Howard had in his wallet!”)

I realize that a lot of these movies are kind of kiddish, or juvenile, if you wish, but I’m making a list of movies I’ve seen multiple times, and as an adult you don’t have as much time to watch movies over and over and over again, like you did when you were a kid, but some other movies that I would watch over and over and over again, if I had the time, are: 50 First Dates, Buffalo ’66, Vertigo, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. This is a criminally un-thorough list.

There is one movie, however, that’s on my list of Best Movies Ever, that I will never watch again. I just can’t. It’s just too good, too moving, and I don’t think I can take watching it again. Maybe when I’m in my 40s, I’ll give it another viewing.

The movie I’m talking about is Dancer in the Dark, which is quite possibly the best movie ever, and without a doubt the best musical ever.

I was thinking about Dancer in the Dark because last night, as I was driving home, the song “107 Steps” (by Bjork) (from the Dancer in the Dark soundtrack) started playing on my ipod, and I totally missed my exit because the second I heard the track start, I was, like, immediately transported back into the experience of that movie, and, like, overwhelmed, just, like, thrown into total sensory overload, (like, I felt like I was in the movie, almost) (but not in a crazy way) (just in a, sense memory way) (or something) and I didn’t realize I was five exits past my exit until after the song finished playing.

It’s such a weird song anyway. Like, an anti-song almost. Just Bjork singing footstep counts. But it’s so haunting (especially in the context of the movie).

I saw it at that art house theater on La Brea. It was a rainy day. I was feeling under the weather and there wasn’t much going on at work (I was working as a production assistant at the time, this was my first job out of college) and so I left early. It was 1:55 in the afternoon. As I drove past the movie theater I decided that I would go see the movie if it was starting at 2pm. I slowed down to look at the marquee and there was, indeed, a 2pm show. I found a parking spot about 5 blocks away and went to the movies.

I think it was a Wednesday. I was the only person in the movie theater. Now, I love to cry at the movies, and I often do (hell, I sobbed—sobbed—at School of Rock) (it was the proud parents watching their kids rock at the end of the movie that did me in) (and how fucking good they were at rocking—that did me in too), but I usually keep the floodgates, like, mostly under control. But when I went to see Dancer in the Dark, there was no one else in the entire theater and so when I started crying (during the clatter, crash, clack song—Cvalda) I totally let go and I didn’t stop crying for the entire movie. By the end of the film I was literally keening. (I swear.)

So then the movie ended and (maybe because I had been crying so uncontrollably for over an hour) I couldn’t stop crying. I walked out of the theater, onto La Brea, where it was raining even harder than it had been before the movie. I walked five blocks in the rain, the rain beating down on my face, mixing with the tears that were still forming. I got into my car and sat and cried for another ten minutes, while dozens and dozens of Hasidic children dashed out of a neighboring school to meet up with their parents or walk home.

Anyway, last night, as I was driving home, when “107 Steps” started playing on my ipod, I didn’t break down crying or anything, but it moved me and it got me thinking about that brilliant movie and I just wanted to shout about its brilliance from a mountaintop.

(And my blog is my mountaintop, so there you go.)

134 comments:

TheDarkerUma said...

first

TheDarkerUma said...

god damn it. this is my third time trying to post my second comment.

god damn stolen wireless that probably allows my neighbor to read my email...

anyways, mine (for the third time) is anne of green gables.

BEST MOVIE EVER

brings out the girl in me and like hockey, makes me truly canadian.

**please blog god...let this post**

TheDarkerUma said...

fuck yes!

Cocoa said...

yo dats a hot li st of movies

Erik said...

Urp, can you believe that I have still never seen Anne of Green Gables?????

Even after all of those years of it being on top of our TV, or next to our TV, or underneath our dresser, or inside of our dresser, or on the bookshelf, or at the foot of the bed, or wherever it might have been hidden whenever we tried to urgently clean the room. Can you believe I still have never seen it???

Erik said...

hey cocoa, it IS a fucking hot list of movies, isn't it?

adam said...

so i haven't seen very many of the movies you list, but tootsie is pretty great. i haven't even seen D in the D, even though i was in cannes when it won the award. i was there with my mum's goddaughter (my godsister?) who is a producer (i think she's a producer, but i don't know the difference between a producer and a director [so if someone does know this {and erik, i assume that's you} it would be "cool" to know]) but she was/is not very well known and we couldn't get into any of the cool parties (no quotes this time on "cool" because the parties in cannes were really cool even though the victoria secret models were there (and yes, i did say "even though") so we decided that the girls in our group would wear our tuxedos (which we had to bring to go to some of the parties) and the boys would put on the slinky cocktail dresses so we could get in. and it totally worked, we got in all over the place, although i think my chances with the victoria secret models were fairly low.

but i thought of that, because it was a pretty tootsie moment (although dustin made a much more convincing woman than me) that happened right when dancer in the dark was winning the cannes award.

my favorite movie of all time is billy wilder's some like it hot, which is, coincidentally, another movie about cross dressing AND is somewhat a musical.

lindsay just got her hair cut and she's going platinum!

Erik said...

Adam, I want to know which of the movies you've seen and which ones you haven't seen.

Please cut and paste the following list, and add an X in front of the one you HAVE seen.

__Tootsie
__Wet Hot American Summer
__Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
__It’s a Wonderful Life
__Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark

Thank you.

Erik said...

Okay, Adam, I really wanted to know what movies from my list you had and had not seen, so I posted that without replying to most of what you said...

First of all, I'm really glad you love Tootsie.

Second, the difference between a producer and a director is fairly significant. The director is basically the god of the set and in charge of making the movie, while the producer is in charge of putting together everything else (i.e. the money and hiring everyone and making sure that everything comes into place for the director). This is an incredibly simplistic explanation of the difference between a director and a producer and I'm not even sure if it makes sense.

Third, I LOVE THAT STORY ABOUT YOU GOING TO PARTIES IN CANNES DRESSED IN DRAG. And I love that that was the same year that Bjork was there with DitD. Did you have any encounters with Bjork???? Do you have any pictures of yourself in drag and chicks in tuxedos???

Fourth, awesome use of parentheticals, brackets, and that "{" thing that you figured out the name of but which I'm blanking on right now.

Fifth, Some Like it Hot is a pretty rad movie. Were you in that 1950s cinema literary theory class that I took (taught by Professor Fineman?)

Sixth, Lindsay--sounds hot!

Erik said...

oh, and Adam:

I meant to tell you to put an X before the "ones" you have seen, plural, not the "one" you have seen, singular.

I just want to know what you have and haven't seen so I can tell you what I think you need to rush out to rent ASAP and what movies you can do without for awhile.

(Since I know you're busy with the whole law thing.)

christy said...

shit I've got to get my game back.

12th!

Erik said...

Yeah, Christy, get with it.

christy said...

oh and Uma, I have stolen wireless too!

And this has nothing to do with Canada, but for four years when I lived in Japan I went to the Canadian Academy and stupid myspace doesn't have that in their directory so I can't put it on my page.

And ANNE OF GREEN GABLES is the best movie EVER!!

And then there is Anne of Avonlea. And then the ill-advised TV Movie Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story.

Erik you HAVE TO SEE it. And I need to be there. Because the idea of it being watched without me makes me sad.

Eventually I will actually read this post. And probably comment again.

Erik said...

"Eventually I will read this post"...

That's the sad story of Kiki Longpost's life.

christy said...

okay fine whiney boy, I'll read it now.

Erik said...

I was just sayin', that's all.

christy said...

I just read the entire thing and looked at all the pictures.

Are you happy?

Erik said...

VERY.

Erik Posting for Bonnie said...

I can't get this comment to post, but here's what it was supposed to be:

Okay, you have to watch ANNE OF GREEN GABLES. It is truly greatness.

And you didn't even mention the TRUE best movie ever: "Stick It" (which I
have now seen TWICE in the theatres and it's only been out for eight days).

Now, I shall take your Adam-list test:

_X_Tootsie
__Wet Hot American Summer
_X_Back to the Future (manymany times)
_X_Dude, Where's My Car (only parts of it, to see my friend Bob)
__Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ¹66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch (I think I saw part of this when I worked at the
Sundance Institute, but I can't recall so I'm not giving it an X)
__It¹s a Wonderful Life
_X_Breakfast at Tiffany¹s
__Dancer in the Dark

Erik said...

Bonnie emailed the above comment to me, because she was having trouble with comments, which I have sympathy for because I've been having trouble with comments today too.

Erik said...

Bonnie, question:

Is Stick It better than Bring It On?

???

Erik said...

Bonnie, I'm excited that you took the Adam-list test. I encourage everyone to take the Adam-list test. I want to know what movies on this list have been seen by my blog readers. Because I'm weird. But I also want to have to defend them and explain why you have to see what you have to see. Which I'll do later. I'm heading out right now, no more comments from me today.

jenny said...

Sadly, I still haven't seen Dancer in the Dark. But one movie I have seen easily 20 times and love it every time: Overboard. (Yes, I'm serious. Love it.)

I love that you're doing comment memes now:

X Tootsie (a million times!)
__Wet Hot American Summer
X Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
X Gremlins
X Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
X Buffalo ’66
X Vertigo
X Hedwig and the Angry Inch
X It’s a Wonderful Life (I despise this movie... sorry!)
X Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark

Erik said...

Okay, I know I said that I wasn't commenting anymore today, but I haven't actually left yet and I have to say, Jenny...

I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT OVERBOARD. Oh my god, I LOVE THAT MOVIE. And I am right there with you, I have probably seen it about 20 times as well.

And Overboard reminds me (for no particular reason) of the Shelly Long triumvirate of Great Films:

Irreconcilable Differences (which I've seen at least 40 times), Hello Again (probably seen about 20 times), and Outrageous Fortune (probably seen about 10 times).

I want to add those to the Adam-list test. (Which is a meme, I suppose.) (Right, Jenny?) (You called it a meme, and I know that word, but for some reason I am still kind of unclear about what memes are exactly.) (I mean, I have an idea, but, anyway.)

So here's the new list:

__Tootsie
__Wet Hot American Summer
__Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
__It’s a Wonderful Life
__Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark
__Overboard
__Irreconcilable Differences
__Hello Again
__Outrageous Fortune

TheDarkerUma said...

christy, i FEEL your pain.

i went to an american school in taiwan (for highschool) and stupid myspace won't let me add it either.

drc said...

Okay, here is my list...And I put them in the order that I like them.

I have no idea how many times I have seen Breakfast At Tiffany's

_7_Tootsie
__Wet Hot American Summer
_4_Back to the Future
_8_Dude, Where's My Car
_5_Gremlins
_3_Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
_6_Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
_2_It’s a Wonderful Life
_1_Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark

Doug said...

_x_Tootsie
_x_Wet Hot American Summer
_x_Back to the Future
_x_Dude, Where's My Car
_x_Gremlins
_X_Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
_X_Vertigo (Bernard Herrmann is a god)
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
_x_It’s a Wonderful Life
_x_Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark
__Overboard
_x_Irreconcilable Differences
__Hello Again
_x_Outrageous Fortune


Wet Hot American Summer: Chris Meloni & Paul Rudd, two of my favorite furry guys and the movie is insane, what's not to love?

Irreconcilable Differences: LOVE this film, though everyone I know hates it. That little piano riff they play throughout always chokes me up for some reason.

Tootsie, seen it so many times it frightens me. Favorite part (one among thousands): the scary nanny leaves and Dorothy, shaking her head, saying ". . . scared me to death." Have no idea why that cracks me up but it does.

By the way, Tootsie and Ordinary People tie for the two films I've watched the most. Never a day went by without watching one of these two for the whole Summer right before grad school. I think I was purging something.

Oh, and just the sight of even a still image of Audrey Hepburn in the window singing "Moon River" makes me weep.

Erik said...

Christy, I totally didn't comment on this, but you lived in Japan for four years?! I didn't know that. That's cool. I want to live in Japan, but not for four years. I want to live in Japan for about a month and then in London for four years. (or forty) (or forever)

Erik said...

Uma and Christy, you should send complaints to Tom at MySpace and force him to add your schools.

He might do it. You never know.

Erik said...

Doug, drc, Jenny, and Bonnie, I am so excited that you've all filled out my "have you seen these movies" meme (I want to call it a questionaire but I'm not totally sure how to spell questionaire) (I want to put two "r"'s in the word, but it loioks wrong with two "r"'s).

I will respond to your responses further after Adam responds to the damn question, since Adam started the whole damn thing, but then he hasn't responded yet.

Damn, Adam.

Erik said...

"loioks"?

TheJesseJames said...

Do you wann know something that is going to make you GASP like a homo who just got the last Madonna concert ticket

I have never seen Tootise.

Tis sad and true.

TheJesseJames said...

__Tootsie
_x_Wet Hot American Summer
_x_Back to the Future and 2 & 3
_x_Dude, Where's My Car
_x_Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
_x_Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
_x_Hedwig and the Angry Inch (with you opening night at Sunset 5 and we all sang along to the bouncy ball and it was quite magical)
_x_It’s a Wonderful Life
__Breakfast at Tiffany’s
_x_Dancer in the Dark (of course, you know how I doubled dipped Broken Hearts Club, the Timothy Olyphant/Dean Cain/Justin Theroux gay softball film right after this film and was reduced to a puddle of tears by the time the Dad from Fraiser kicks the bucket due to my Dancer emotional residue. Bjork and FagMellow drama don't mix y'all!)

Erik said...

Since we're doing "memes" in this comment thread...

I was just reading Queering the Apparatus and he had this meme on his blog that I decided I'm going to do, but I feel like it should go in a comment, not as a regular post, (because this comment thread is already the "meme thread") (and just because I'm changing the topic here, that doesn't mean I'm not going to come back to that other meme and say the things I wanna say about all of my favorite movies [and it also doesn't mean I don't want other people to fill out the Adam-list test {like you, Adam}]).

So, here's the meme, as laid out by Queering the Apparatus:

"Here is how it works... You turn on your iPod. Shuffle. Play. The songs that come up answer the following questions in order (You can't change the questions and you can't skip songs. Be honest).

"Ready... Set... Go!"

Okay, that was his set up. Now here I go. Hitting shuffle, and play...

QUESTION: How does the world see you?
IPOD SAYS: "Weird Divide" by The Shins.
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, so I’m kind of annoyed that the first “answer” my iPod gave me was a song that I don’t really know. I listened to the song twice [it’s a short song] to try to decipher what it might be saying in relation to how the world sees me [I am taking this meme very seriously] [obviously]. Now…it’s a kind of mellow song, which is nice…so I guess the world sees me as a kinda mellow guy? I mean, I suppose I am sometimes, but I can also be really manic sometimes. Here’s the money quote from the song, the last line: “even time can do good things to you.” That’s what I’m going to use to interpret “how the world sees me.” The world sees me getting better with age. Okay, I’ll accept that.) (I think we all, for the most part, get better with age, anyway.) (Or, at least, we can.) (Like, if we try.)

QUESTION: Will I have a happy life?
IPOD SAYS: “Someone To Love” by Kate Earl.
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, this is a great song, but the line she keeps repeating is “you’re waiting for someone to love,” which is true, but it’s kind of a bullshit answer for my iPod to give me [look at how seriously I’m taking this iPod meme!] because it’s like, duh, yes, I am, but you’re evading the question, iPod. This song does not tell me whether or not I’m going to have a happy life.) (Okay, I’m going to stop being mad at my iPod for being vague and just do some interpreting, and I think this song is telling me that, yes, I will have a happy life.) (Money quote: “And when they come, they’ll accept you just the way you are, you’ll swear under a moonlit sky about rocks in the sky.”)

QUESTION: What do my friends think of me?
ERIK SAYS: my iPod is still playing “Someone to Love” by Kate Earl, the answer to the previous question, and all of a sudden I feel like I’m thirteen-years-old, like I’m sitting in front of my Magic 8 Ball, asking it all of the important questions (you know, the way important questions for a thirteen-year-old, like “what do my friends think of me”) and I’m sitting here in anticipation…thinking to myself, I wonder what revelation my iPod is about to throw down before me???
IPOD SAYS: “Here Comes My Girl” by Throneberry.
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, so, I’m ignoring the pronoun, and figuring that all of the songs in my iPod are ambisexual for the purposes of this “meme,” and what I’m getting from this song is that my friends are always very happy to have me around.) (I mean, like, here’s the money quote: “And then [s]he looks me in the eye and says we’re gonna last forever, and man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it.”) (Which I interpret to mean that I’m a friend who will stand by you, which is true, because I love my friends, and we are gonna last forever.)

QUESTION: Do people secretly lust after me?
IPOD SAYS: “Blame it on the Rain” by Milli Vanilli.
ERIK SAYS: (I don’t even know how to remotely begin to interpret how “Blame it on the Rain” might answer the question of whether “people secretly lust after me or not,” but I can use this opportunity to say two completely unrelated things about Milli Vanilli. First, a personal anecdote: when I was in junior high school, I used to know how to play this song on the clarinet; and second, a plea to all of the Milli Vanilli haters out there [which, come on now, is pretty much all you alls]: you loved Milli Vanilli before you knew they were fakes, you loved this song before you knew they were fakes, then you found out they were fakes and their album went straight into the used bin at the Warehouse Music Store. But come on. Hate the fakers, if you must. But don’t hate the song. Because you’ve gotta admit [and just go ahead and admit it now]: you still love the music.)

QUESTION: How can I make myself happy?
IPOD SAYS: “Where Did You Sleep Last Night?” by Nirvana.
ERIK SAYS: (IPod, you’re really weird. I mean, I love Nirvana and all, but who in their right mind would really suggest any Nirvana song as the key to making oneself happy?) (I mean, really.)

QUESTION: What should I do with my life?
IPOD SAYS: “Style” by The Lemonheads.
ERIK SAYS: (Um, the basic gist of this song is the dichotomy between wanting to get high and not wanting to get high.) (I suppose, for a lot of people, this might be a central issue that one would have to really focus on when trying to figure out what to do with their life, but it’s not really an issue for me.) (I wonder if my iPod is confused and it’s answering these questions for someone else and not for me!)

QUESTION: Will I ever have children?
IPOD SAYS: “The Bagman’s Gambit” by The Decemberists
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, um, trying to use this song to answer the question of whether or not I’m having children, well, it’s a bit of a stretch, because even though the song is all about sex, I don’t really seeing myself having children the old fashioned way.) (However, because the song IS about sex, I would say that it’s a YES to the “will I ever have children” question, and it goes on to mean that I will have “ONE CHILD” and that the child will be a beautiful little Chinese girl, and that I’ll have her in about ten years.) (Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s what the song’s sayin’.)

QUESTION: What is some good advice for me?
IPOD SAYS: “Ultimate” by Lindsay Lohan.
ERIK SAYS: (Wow, okay, Lindsay LOVES me. And I love her.)
(To give you an idea of just HOW MUCH Lindsay loves me, here are the unexpurgated lyrics to her song, “Ultimate”:

“You're the kind of friend who always bends when I'm broken
Like remember when
You took my heart and put it back together again

”I've been wasting time with clueless guys
But now it's over
Let me tell you why
I'm through
I've met someone new
Who's just like you

”You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

”You're the kind of guy who's hands and mind send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart and put it back together again.

”You're the kind of guy that blows my mind
But now it's my turn
You've been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't i see

”You're it
You're the ultimate
It's Automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

[Guitar Playing]

”You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

”You're it
You're the ultimate, you....”)

(Rock on Lindsay!)

QUESTION: How will I be remembered?
IPOD SAYS: “Lo Sceicco Bianco” by Nino Rota.
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, this song is in Italian and I don’t know what she’s saying, but it sounds really lovely and then it has these kind of goofy/circus-y interludes.)

QUESTION: What's my signature dance song?
IPOD SAYS: “Closet Romantic” by Damon Albam (from the Trainspotting soundtrack).
ERIK SAYS: (This isn’t even a dance song!?!?)

QUESTION: What's my current theme song?
IPOD SAYS: “Angry Johnny” by Poe.
ERIK SAYS: (IPod, this is so fucking wrong. It’s not my fucking theme song at all.) (Just because I like to say “fuck” a lot, that doesn’t mean I’m angry.) (Though I do love the name Johnny and if anyone wants to start calling me Johnny as a new nick-name, I’m cool with that.) (I love the idea of naming a girl Johnny.) (Is that perverse?) (Not any more perverse than naming your kid Pilot Inspektor or Apple or anything like that.) (So, whaddya say, should I name my little Chinese baby girl Johnny, or will she hate me for the rest of her life if I name her Johnny?) (Earlier tonight, I was listening to that Johnny Cash song “A Boy Named Sue” and it gave me the chills, it’s just such a fucking good song.) (“Angry Johnny” is NOT my current theme song.) (My iPod is full of shit.)

QUESTION: What do others think my current theme song is?
IPOD SAYS: “Smooth Criminal” by Michael Jackson.
ERIK SAYS: (I’m tired of my IPod being wrong.)

QUESTION: What shall they play at my funeral?
IPOD SAYS: “Mr. Farmer” by The Seeds.
ERIK SAYS: (I’m okay with this. This is a groovy song and I want lots of groovy music to be played at my funeral.)

QUESTION: What type of men do I like?
IPOD SAYS: “One” by U2
ERIK SAYS: (Okay, for once, my iPod seems to be talking to me. I would say that this is a pretty accurate song to describe the dude I’m looking for.) (This is a great fucking song.) (I like Johnny Cash’s cover of this song too. They’re always playing his cover of NIN’s song “Hurt,” but I think his cover of “One” is better.) (Apparently I am obsessed with Johnny Cash all of a sudden.)

QUESTION: How's my love life?
IPOD SAYS: “Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,” by Doris Day.
ERIK SAYS: (Um, IPod, this song SO does not describe the current non-existent state of my love life.)

Is this the longest comment in the world? I guess they don’t call me Kiki Longpost for nothin’.

drc said...

I'm just shocked that you have a Milli Vanilli song, a Michael Jackson song and a Doris Day song all on your iPod. Milli Vanilli??

Ralph Colby said...

Sometimes when you blog, Erik, we get inside the best of Erik. The intertrospective side. The side we who know you, love you more.
This is one of those blogs.

I'm not sure how much PAM cries at movies...It was a long time ago PAM. But DAD is such a sap. I tear up at all those points of a film that the Director/Screenwriter/Composer/Actor want you to tear up.

I will have to see Dancer in the Dark.

P.S. I don't have that RCA Laser Disk player anymore.
And remember our favorite other Laser film... "Mickey and Donald's Vacation."

Bloggingly, DAD

Erik said...

Okay...

To those of you who have not seen TOOTSIE:

Turn off your computer right now (I'm talking to you, Jesse) and go to Blockbuster and rent the movie. Now. No dillydallying. This is one of the best movies ever. Seriously. It's a romantic comedy. It's a screwball comedy. It's a cross-dressing comedy. It's a drama. It's a tragedy. It's a hoot. It's poignant. It'll have you in tears. There isn't a false moment in the entire movie.

To those of you who have not seen WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER:

I have recommended this movie to some people who absolutely hate it. Everyone who I've watched it with in person, however, seems to love it. I think you need to be in the right mood for an absolutely crazy funny movie.

To those of you who have not seen BACK TO THE FUTURE:

Seriously, how have you gotten through life without seeing this movie?

To those of you who have not seen DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR:

I'm thinking you can probably skip it if you haven't seen it by now. It's a really terrible godawful movie. But if you're ready for something really stupid and you can embrace pure stupidity, there are actually some very funny sequences. (The Dude/Sweet scene and the "no and then" scene.)

To those of you who have not seen GREMLINS:

I think you might have missed the boat on this one. It's definitely a well-made film, but to really appreciate and love it, I think you need to be in your pre-teens the first time you see it.

To those of you who have not seen HOWARD THE DUCK:

You have really good taste.

To those of you who have not seen 50 FIRST DATES:

This movie makes me a blubbery wreck. Best Adam Sandler movie ever. (Okay, maybe it's a close second to Punch Drunk Love, but I don't really have a desire to see Punch Drunk Love anytime soon, whereas I could watch 50 First Dates every day and be happy.) This movie works mostly because you believe Adam Sandler falling for this girl, and Drew Barrymore is so good at being in the moment and seeing everything as new and making you feel how painful that would be to not have any of those memories that are obviously good memories. RENT THIS MOVIE.

To those of you who have not seen BUFFALO '66:

Vincent Gallo is an asshole and a prick, but he made one perfect movie.

To those of you who have not seen VERTIGO:

Come on, if my blog readers have one thing in common, it's that we've all pretty much got obsessive personalities, and this movie is our type of movie. It's the ultimate obsessive movie for obsessives. (It's actually not my favorite Hitchcock movie, though--that would be Strangers on a Train.)

To those of you who have not seen HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH:

Go get your mind blown. (As well as other things.)

To those of you who haven't seen IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE:

I resisted this movie for so many years. I had only seen those moments that are always shown as clips in the background of other movies and I thought, who wants to see that old movie? I actually thought I had seen it because I had seen the clips so many times. But then when I finally saw it for the first time, in its entirety, I realized that it's been a long time since a movie has really taken me on that much of a ride. This one's a real tearjerker (but not in a schmaltzy way--all of the tears you're gonna cry while watching this movie are EARNED. Completely. 100 percent.)

To those of you who have not seen BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S:

What are you waiting for????
One of the most awesomely written movies ever!
Some of the best acting ever!
Go! Now!
Rent this movie!

To those of you who have not seen DANCER IN THE DARK:

I feel like I covered this pretty well in my blog post.

To those of you who have not seen OVERBOARD:

A perfect 80's movie. I don't feel like Hollywood would make this movie anymore, but I wish they would. It's got a lot of heart and it's genuinely funny and you believe Goldie would fall for Kurt.

To those of you who have not seen IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES:

It makes me really mad that this movie is not on DVD yet. I want to start a petition. My old VHS copy of this movie doesn't work anymore. This is a lovely, sad, beautiful movie. Maybe your parents have to be divorced for this movie to really mean something to you, but still: they capture so much of what's difficult about being a kid and what's difficult about being a parent, and Doug, you're right, that music that simple piano music that plays throughout gets me too.

To those of you who have not seen HELLO AGAIN and OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE:

Someone needs to school you in the brilliance that is Shelly Long, and I think you should go have a double feature pronto.

Erik said...

drc,

Don't hate Milli Vanilli!!!!

Give love to Milli Vanilli!!!

I heart Milli Vanilli.

Erik said...

Dad, be ready for an emotional roller coaster. Dancer in the Dark is truly unrelenting. But you should watch it.

Bloggingly,
your son

Erik said...

Okay, Christy, here's what my iPod is saying about you:

QUESTION: How does the world see Christy?
IPOD SAYS: "American Woman" by The Guess Who

QUESTION: Will Christy have a happy life?
IPOD SAYS: "Could Be Anything" by The Eames Era (from the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack)

QUESTION: What do Christy's friends think of her?
IPOD SAYS: "Dirty Trip" by Air (this is one of the instrumental theme songs from The Virgin Suicides)

QUESTION: Do people secretly lust after Christy?
IPOD SAYS: "I've Been Waiting For a Girl Like You" by Foreigner

QUESTION: How can Christy make herself happy?
IPOD SAYS: "Fever Dog" by Stillwater (the fictional band in Almost Famous)

QUESTION: What should Christy do with her life?
IPOD SAYS: "Somewhere Out There," the theme song to An American Tail, as sung by Linda Rondstadt and James Ingram.

QUESTION: Will Christy ever have children?
IPOD SAYS: "Up All Night (Frankie Miller Goes Hollywood)" by the Counting Crows (from Hard Candy)

QUESTION: What is some good advice for Christy?
IPOD SAYS: "Big in Japan" by Alphaville

QUESTION: How will Christy be remembered?
IPOD SAYS: "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" by Bright Eyes

QUESTION: What's Christy's signature dance song?
IPOD SAYS: "House of the Rising Sun" by Marianne Faithfull

QUESTION: What's Christy's current theme song?
IPOD SAYS: "Creep (acoustic)" by Radiohead

QUESTION: What do others think Christy's current theme song is?
IPOD SAYS: "Allison's Starting to Happen" by the Lemonheads

QUESTION: What shall they play at Christy's funeral?
IPOD SAYS: "Grand Hotel Valse" by Nicola Piovani (an upbeat instrumental piece from the first half of Life is Beautiful)

QUESTION: What type of men does Christy like?
IPOD SAYS: "In My Life" by the Beates.

QUESTION: How's Christy's love life?
IPOD SAYS: "Let's Get Retarded" by the Black Eyed Peas.

*

I don't know how true any of those songs will ring to you (the ipod was pretty wrong with it's choices for me) but that's what my iPod said.

christy said...

Thank you, Erik. Now I have to go look up the lyrics and deeply analyze each one of these songs for greater meaning.

christy said...

Oh and I never responded to Uma - I am so excited that you grew up internationally, too!

Erik said...

Tally ho, Christy! I cannot wait to hear what you've discovered about yourself via my ipod.

christy said...

My first gut reaction was, if you think "Closet Romantic" isn't a dance song..."House of the Rising Sun" is SOOOO not a dance song!

And you are so not a Closet Romantic. You are so out of the closet.

Erik said...

my ipod SO doesn't understand what dance songs are.

christy said...

I think your iPod just told me I should be dancing in a whorehouse so it's a good thing I'm not there or I would throw a martini in your iPod's face.

Erik said...

Christy, I just beat up my ipod in retaliation for the whorehouse insinuation.

Bonnie said...

QUESTION: How does the world see Bon?
IPOD SAYS: "Party's Fall" by Siouxsie and the Banshees

QUESTION: Will Bon have a happy life?
IPOD SAYS: "Pretty in Pink" by The Psychedelic Furs

QUESTION: What do Bon's friends think of her?
IPOD SAYS: "Dazzle" by Siouxsie and the Banshees

QUESTION: Do people secretly lust after Bon?
IPOD SAYS: "Orange Crush" by REM

QUESTION: How can Bon make herself happy?
IPOD SAYS: "Everlong" by Foo Fighters

QUESTION: What should Bon do with her life?
IPOD SAYS: "Sweet Talkin' Woman" by ELO

QUESTION: Will Bon ever have children?
IPOD SAYS: "I Wanna Destroy You" by The Soft Boys

QUESTION: What is some good advice for Bon?
IPOD SAYS: "What You Need" by INXS

QUESTION: How will Bon be remembered?
IPOD SAYS: "In a Big Country" by Big Country

QUESTION: What's Bon's signature dance song?
IPOD SAYS: "Dig for Fire" by Pixies

QUESTION: What's Bon's current theme song?
IPOD SAYS: "Gigantic" by Pixies

QUESTION: What do others think Bon's current theme song is?
IPOD SAYS: "Turn You Inside Out" by REM

QUESTION: What will they play at Bon's funeral?
IPOD SAYS: "Pretty in Pink" by The Psychedelic Furs

QUESTION: What type of men does Bon like?
IPOD SAYS: "Oh! Darling" by The Beatles

QUESTION: How's Bon's love life?
IPOD SAYS: "There She Goes" by Sixpence None the Richer

Ooh, I like this! I'm going to put it on my blog later. Yay!

Erik said...

BonBon, your ipod was much nicer to you than mine was to me and Christy.

i LOVE that "Pretty in Pink" by the Psychodelic Furs came up TWICE.

That's a great song, and a good answer for both of those questions.

Erik said...

(Christy, you still haven't done my Adam-list test, but I guess you're busy interpreting the wisdom of the iPod.)

christy said...

I cannot even tell you. I had put it all together BEAUTIFULLY in a blog and then my wireless cut out and I lost everything.

But I dug deep inside myself and patched the pieces of my sad, sad life according to your iPod back together.

The Adam test is forthcoming. I haven't forgotten.

Bonnie said...

Oh, and I got totally distracted by the iPod quiz, so I forgot to answer your question about "Stick It!" vs. "Bring It On" and I honestly cannot say that one is better than the other. Truly, they are different enough that I can say they both seriously rock and are amazingly meaningful for many reasons. The one thing that might make "Bring It On" a better movie at the end of the day is summed up in two words.

Bonnie said...

Jesse.

Bonnie said...

Bradford.

Erik said...

Oh, no! Christy!

NEVER write your blog on your blog. That happened to me several times, but then I finally started writing my blog on Word and then cutting and pasting and my life changed.

Erik said...

Speaking of JESSE BRADFORD (and his total hotness)...any luck with the Jesse Bradford connection you made the night we were together?

Bonnie said...

Nothin' yet. Bastards.

christy said...

_X_Tootsie (probably 20-50 times)
__Wet Hot American Summer
_X_Back to the Future (20ish times?)
__Dude, Where's My Car
_X_Gremlins (but not in manymany years)
_X_Howard the Duck (only 1-2 times)
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
_X_It’s a Wonderful Life (manymanymany times = best movie ever, for real)
_X_Breakfast at Tiffany’s (many times but not enough, top 5 movies ever)
__Dancer in the Dark
_X_Overboard (20+ times, another one we owned while living in Japan)
__Irreconcilable Differences
__Hello Again
__Outrageous Fortune

Ones that are on *my* list:

__Life is Beautiful
__Anne of Green Gables (duh)
__Mystic River
__Spaceballs (literally 100+ times)
__The Princess Bride
__Labyrinth
__The Never-Ending Story
__Dirty Dancing
__Blazing Saddles
__A Mighty Wind (I can't help it, it's genius)

Adam said...

I was trying to catch up with all the comments and reprimands for my slow response to the Adam-list and I started reading your I-pod entry and when I got to the Milli Vanilli one I started laughing but I am in the library so I had to not be laughing out loud but I kept looking at it and then I wasn't laughing but there were funny tears coming out and then it got funnier because I thought what would happen if someone asked me why I was crying in the library and I had to explain that it was Milli Vanilli and then I really was laughing out loud but not in that stupid LOL way that really means you're not laughing out loud because if you were you wouldn't be able to write LOL and if something is really funny it's better to just laugh than try to describe how you are laughing which is what I just did (without any punctuation [unless you count parentheses and brackets and braces punctuation {which I don't}])

My answers:

X Tootsie

__Wet Hot American Summer

X Back to the Future

__Dude, Where's My Car

“R” Gremlins (I’m putting “R” because I didn’t see it all the way through, I think because I was little and wasn’t exposed to TV until I was five and because I was thinking of how to write half of an “X” and then I was thinking that I should put a double X in front of Back to the Future, because it was so good, and then I was thinking that it would look like a “XX” rated movie if I did that, and THEN I thought that a “R” rated movie is about half as “X” as an X-rated movie, so I decided that an “R” would mean that I only saw half of Gremlins).

__Howard the Duck

__50 First Dates

X Buffalo ’66

X Vertigo

X Hedwig and the Angry Inch

__It’s a Wonderful Life

X Breakfast at Tiffany’s

“R” Dancer in the Dark (you will never forgive me for this Erik, but I stopped watching it on a plane because I got bored, but you might forgive me because I started watching it in the middle and had missed some of the plot, but I honestly have very little interest in trying it again, but I think you’ll probably forgive me for this, but if you don’t I’ll understand, but I think you should).

__Overboard

__Irreconcilable Differences
__Hello Again

__Outrageous Fortune

christy said...

and why do you never come visit my condo? why do we always have to hang out at your condo?

christy said...

Oh and I totally forgot

__Moonstruck
__You Can Count on Me
__(I'm sure I'm missing a few others)

Patrick said...

Wet Hot American Summer is cut. From marble. It's gorgeous. And I think you know what I mean.

Mace said...

__Tootsie (a million times!)
__Wet Hot American Summer
__Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
__It’s a Wonderful Life (I despise this movie... sorry!)
__Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark

I don't watch movies
because they are usually too happy. I am very unhappy. But you make Dancer in the Dark sound like a very dark movie. Which I like. I like it when people cry. I will watch it.

eleanor said...

X Tootsie (a million times!)
X Wet Hot American Summer (with Erik)
X Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
X 50 First Dates (with you and Ums on Valentines day)
X Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
X Hedwig and the Angry Inch
X It’s a Wonderful Life
X Breakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark (ahem, sorry Erik)

Erik said...

drc, i want to reply to your comment again:

you should LOVE that i have a milli vanilli song, a michael jackson song, and a doris day song on my iPod--variety is the spice of life! (the funny thing is that these three artists appear together on a random sampling of ten songs from my ipod.)

Erik said...

Christy, in response to the addendums on your list:

_X_Life is Beautiful (Probably one of the best movies ever made) (and I know I said the same thing about Dancer in the Dark, but whatevs) (I was a Roberto Benigni fan BEFORE this movie came out--I had already seen The Monster on the big screen when it came out in 1994 and I had even seen Down By Law at a revival house, so I was all over Roberto Benigni and I was looking forward to Life is Beautiful for about a year before it came out) (I like to mention that to prove that I was "ahead of the curve") (I saw Life is Beautiful for the first time at the London Film Festival, a few months before it premiered in America, and after the screening Roberto Benigni gave a Q&A. I saw the screening alone and I was a blubbering mess the entire film. It was a similar kind of crying to the crying I did during Dancer in the Dark--but it was slightly more muted because it was a packed house, so I couldn't actually keen [though if I had been alone, I think I might have]) (one of the things these movies have in common is that they both start out with some of the most unbelievably joyous scenes ever put on film--the entire first half of Life, with his courtship of his wife, and the early fantasy dance sequences in Dancer--and these opening scenes make me cry just from the overwhelming JOYOUSNESS of it all. And then the filmmakers kind of pull the rug out from under you, and take you to some of the worst depths of humanity and tragedy, and then you [I] start to cry real, deep, painful tears.) (Do you know what I mean? Are you with me?)

__Anne of Green Gables (duh) (as I said before, I've never seen this)

_X_Mystic River (I actually hate this movie) (don't hate me for hating it, but I do)

_X_Spaceballs (great movie, but I've probably only seen it 3 or 4 times)

_X_The Princess Bride (also great, but I've also only seen this one 3 or 4 times)

_X_Labyrinth ("You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of the voodoo, who-do? You do? Do what? Remind me of the babe.") (I LOVE THIS MOVIE.) (I tried to get Uma to watch it once, and if I remember correctly, she was tired and not really into it and we only watched 20 minutes of it or so.) (But she will get mad at me for saying that, because I think she wanted to finish it, she was just tired.) (I remember when I went to see this movie in the movie theater, I took my retainer out and wrapped it in a napkin and then left it at the theater and we had to go back and it had been thrown away and it was a nightmare.)

_X_The Never-Ending Story (AMAZING MOVIE)

_X_Dirty Dancing (ANOTHER AMAZING MOVIE) (SO SEXY) (I MISS JENNIFER GRAY'S NOSE)

_X_Blazing Saddles

_X_A Mighty Wind (I actually prefer Guffman)

Erik said...

Adam, I will never forgive you for only watching 20 minutes of Dancer in the Dark.

Also, I will never forgive you for starting to watch the movie IN THE MIDDLE.

That's so uncool. You are not supposed to start great movies in the middle. Because then you get confused and you only watch 20 minutes of them and you make Erik mad.

Erik said...

But Adam, I can forgive you long enough to tell you that I actually did (honest to motherfucking goodness) laugh out loud when I read your comment about trying not to laugh out loud when you were reading about my Milli Vanilli fixation. The funny thing is, I was at the library this afternoon and I read your comment at the library and while I was reading about you trying not to laugh out loud at the library, I was also trying not to laugh out loud at the library.

How meta is that?

Erik said...

Doug, I meant to reply to a few of your specific comments...

Yes, I also love that moment in Tootsie. There are so many brilliant moments in that movie. Just the other day I was saying good-bye to my writing partner Jessica and I was like, "Good day Dr. Brewster. I said GOOD DAY."

And I love that moment in Irreconcilable Differences when Lucy Van Patten Brodsky and Albert Brodsky (Shelly Long and Ryan O'Neal) are having dinner and in full on courting mode and she starts telling him some of her children's stories, and she tells him the story about the octopus. It's such a simple dumb little story, but you can see that she knows that, but she's also kind of proud of it, and he's so genuinely enamored, and it's such a contrast to where they're eventually going to get (all of the many ups and downs we see them go through). Oy.

Erik said...

Oh, and Jenny, HOW CAN YOU DESPISE IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?>?>????

Seriously. I mean, have you REALLY watched it. Like, not just had it on the background, or not just watched the last twenty minutes, but have you really sat down and watched the entire thing from beginning to end???????

Erik said...

oh, and CHRISTY:

_X_Moonstruck ("Snap out of it!")
_X_You Can Count on Me (Hello, amazing movie.)
_X_(I'm sure I'm missing a few others) (Did you mean to put BROADCAST NEWS here? What about WORKING GIRL?) (Because I forgot both of those movies from my list.)

Erik said...

PATRICK:

So, so, so true. The "cut from marble" thing. I totally know what you mean. In fact, when I read your comment about Wet Hot American Summer, all I could think to say was "Oh, fuck my cock!"

Erik said...

Mace...you devil you...and such a good poet too. (I think you're poem was in another thread, but still: you're good.)

Erik said...

Eleanor, how have you never seen Dude, Where's My Car???

Erik said...

UMA, comments seem to be working again. So are you going to take the Adam-list test or not?

(Adam, do you like how this test was named after you?) (Oh, I forgot, I'm mad at you for only watching twenty minutes of THE MIDDLE of Dancer in the Dark.)

christy said...

I TOTALLY know what you mean, KiKi. When I saw Life is Beautiful it had actually been in the theaters for a while, but I strangely had NO IDEA what it was about, I just heard it was totally amazing.

So there I was, totally 150% into the first half and having NO FUCKING CLUE it was a holocaust movie. Which duh, made it like, 1000% more powerful.

I cried in the car ALL THE WAY HOME and then stayed up all night writing a poem about it. And my little sister made fun of me for crying all the way home in our car, well not made fun but she couldn't identify with me but I interpreted that as her making fun of me. She was all like, "Why are you crying?" (I was seriously SOBBING).

That is totally the intensity you were talking about of Dancer in the Dark. I don't know if I can ever watch it again.

I forgive you for hating Mystic River. It's a tough movie.

And I didn't like A Mighty Wind until the second time I saw it. Of all the Christopher Guest movies, I think Best in Show is the most accessibly funny.

But A Mighty Wind just gets funnier and funnier every time I see it (I really didn't think it was that funny the first time I watched it. I realized I was trying too hard to think it was funny.)

And I miss Jennifer Gray's nose, too. And Patrick Swayze's butt.

And I am STILL waiting for you to comment on everything you were going to comment on on my blog.

And the guy on Grey's Anatomy just said, "I am a strong, virile horse of a man." And I was so like, "I totally wrote that line five years ago and just put it in my blog last week."

christy said...

Oh my god, you're right. Broadcast News was THE MOVIE I was thinking of when I WROTE THAT (why didn't I just write that then?)

And Moonstruck - my fave part I think is when he has that, "We're here to fall in love with all the wrong people and be miserable and die. Now go upstairs and get in my bed."

Erik said...

Christy, i KNEW it was Broadcast News that you had forgotten.

"Let's meet at the place we went that one time after the thing."

"Okay."

(We have really good taste in movies.)

Erik said...

And CHRISTY:

I love that you went into Life Is Beautiful completely blind. It's such a powerful movie because of how joyous the first half is...and watching him try to keep that joy alive for his son while the worst things imaginable are happening all around them...OH MY GOD.

christy said...

And oh my god, when he sees the tank and thinks he's won the game and then he's riding in the tank and SEES HIS MOM and she is sure he is dead...

OH MY GOD!!!

Erik said...

When he sees the tank and thinks he has won the game and then is reunited with his mom, I am so beyond gone it's ridiculous.

joe chandler said...

i was going to make a comment about how I refuse to read your comments pages if it's over 30 comments by the time i read the post, but then i saw some Christopher Guest discussion and I just had to say...

When you compare Wind and Show to Spinal Tap and Guffman, they become horrible movies. Spinal Tap and Guffman are light years ahead of the last two movies. Even the DVD commentary on Spinal tap is better than Mighty Wind(they do it in character, it's like a 2nd movie).

Guffman is the movie I've seen in the theatres the most times(6 or 7) it played in the theatre in San Diego until a week before it was released on DVD.

I love those two movies and had I never seen them I would like Show and Wind, but I have seen the other two, and that changes everything.

Doug said...

"Arm in arm in arm in arm. . . ." That whole opening section of Irreconcilable Differences is wondeful. Shelly is so good it's almost painful--especially when she leaves Ryan and she stops at the end of the street and has her little what am I gonna do now moment. But then there's also: "This . . .civil war . . . ain't gonna get me down . . ." I nearly pee myself every time I see that. Release the flies!!

Anonymous said...

1. Adam Meme

xTootsie (at the drive-in)
__Wet Hot American Summer
xBack to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
xHoward the Duck
__50 First Dates
__Buffalo ’66
__Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
xIt’s a Wonderful Life
xBreakfast at Tiffany’s
__Dancer in the Dark
xOverboard
xIrreconcilable Differences
xHello Again
xOutrageous Fortune
(thank goodness you added those last few)

2. My CEO signed Poe. I don't know anyone who has her album. But there it is showing up on your IPOD test.

3. It would be awesome if everyone on and off the blog refrained from anti-semitic comments (whether your BFF is a Jew or not).

Most Sincerely,
Lindsay

Angela said...

I am WAY late to this commenting party!

x Tootsie
x Wet Hot American Summer (w/Erik)
x Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
x Gremlins
__Howard the Duck
x 50 First Dates (I SO wanted to hate this movie, but couldn't)
x Buffalo ’66 (I think w/Erik)
x Vertigo
__Hedwig and the Angry Inch
x It’s a Wonderful Life
x Breakfast at Tiffany’s
x Dancer in the Dark

I watched D in the D with Mike Weitzman and somebody else (maybe Laurel D?)...I got in a car accident right before the movie because I was running late, and I was pulling out from the curb and not paying close attention and I hit someone while going about 3 mph.

I think shortly afterwards, we (ERP and I) had a conversation about how the movie was so good that we never wanted to see it again. I was traumatized (but in a good way) by that movie!

You know what's weird? I was actually just thinking about D in the D on Saturday. (I was thinking about the awful awful theft that triggers all the events.) (There's a story behind why I thought of it, but it's too long for this already too long comment.)

TheDarkerUma said...

i will do the adam test if you ipod me.


p.s. joe's a snob.

Erik said...

Lindsay, thanks for saying something about that comment...I just deleted it...I didn't really know how to respond to it before because I knew it wasn't meant to be offensive, but you're right, anti-semitic comments, even in jest, shouldn't really have a place on my blog.

Erik said...

Uma, I will ipod you in five shakes.

Steve said...

Uma's right Joe Cahndler is a snob, but he is right about the Spinal Tap commentary. It's just as good as the movie, maybe better.

Steve said...

Joe Chandler that is, fingers too fast

Erik said...

QUESTION: How does the world see Uma?
IPOD SAYS: "Superstylin'" by Groove Armada.

QUESTION: Will Uma have a happy life?
IPOD SAYS: Track 5 by Araketu (sorry, I guess you get this because you're using my ipod, this is a random song that is just called "track 5" in my ipod because my step-sister Debbie went to Spain and brought this cd back and it was a life changing cd for her, so she gave it to me, but she didn't know any of the names of any of the songs because she had burned the cd herself, so it's just called "track 5"--i CAN say that it's really rockin and groovy)

QUESTION: What do Uma's friends think of her?
IPOD SAYS: "Temptation" by New Order

QUESTION: Do people secretly lust after Uma?
IPOD SAYS: "Rainy Days and Mondays" the Carpenters song as covered by Cracker on the If I Were A Carpenter album

QUESTION: How can Uma make herself happy?
IPOD SAYS: "At the Stars" by Better Than Ezra

QUESTION: What should Uma do with her life?
IPOD SAYS: "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles

QUESTION: Will Uma ever have children?
IPOD SAYS: "Round the Bend" by Beck

QUESTION: What is some good advice for Uma?
IPOD SAYS: the theme song from "Love Story" by Andy Williams

QUESTION: How will Uma be remembered?
IPOD SAYS: "L Arena" by Ennio Morricone (from the Kill Bill Soundtrack vol.2)

QUESTION: What's Uma's signature dance song?
IPOD SAYS: "High Life" by the Counting Crows

QUESTION: What's Uma's current theme song?
IPOD SAYS: "Sodomy" from the musical Hair (I swear to god that's what my ipod randomly says)

QUESTION: What do others think Uma's current theme song is?
IPOD SAYS: the Six Feet Under opening credit theme song by Thomas Newman (Photek Remix)

QUESTION: What will they play at Uma's funeral?
IPOD SAYS: "In The Garage" by Weezer

QUESTION: What type of men does Uma like?
IPOD SAYS: "My Tennessee Mountain Home" by Dolly Parton

QUESTION: How's Uma's love life?
IPOD SAYS: "Each Coming Night" by Iron and Wine (seriously)

Erik said...

Welcome back to comment land, Steve!

joe chandler IS a snob, isn't he? Maybe I will have to do a poll to get a real consensus on this one.

Erik said...

I have to go and I won't be back at the computer until later tonight (I know I always say this, but it's true today).

I haven't replied to all comments...Angela, Lindsay, Joe, Doug...I will reply to your Adam-list comments tonight...

TheDarkerUma said...

wow....i must be real sensitve right now (freakin anne of green gables...but that ipod fortune almost brought tears to my eyes....almost.)

i really don't know why you want me to do the adam test, since you know all my answers. but here ye go, lad.

x Tootsie (my fathers favorite movie - weird considering how conservative he claims to be)

x Wet Hot American Summer (w/Erik on his glorious birthday - with the lead in the audience - who by the way i once gave a lap dance to)

x Back to the Future

x Dude, Where's My Car (i used to wake up and see the poster glaring at me - it wasn't angry at me but i can't think of a better word right now)

x Gremlins (i loved the evil british one)

__Howard the Duck (what the hell is that?)

x 50 First Dates (with Erp and miss big boobies (Eleanor) on Valentine's Day)

x Buffalo ’66 (sexy, sexy stuff)

_ Vertigo

x Hedwig and the Angry Inch (inspired a tattoo that both Erp and I acquired together - probably the only sexy thing i have ever done. hmmmm. that sounds weird considering it was with erp. god damn it. i'm not implying that we were sexy together in a way that made us want to have sex together. no. no. no. i mean that when i look down at my hip sometimes, i think woooo. christ. this is bad. i can't speak. argh!)

_ It’s a Wonderful Life

_ Breakfast at Tiffany’s

_ Dancer in the Dark

peace.

christy said...

Sorry Lindsay, sorry Erik, sorry any other people who were silently offended. I TOTALLY, TOTALLY didn't mean it to be offensive AT ALL so I'm really glad you deleted it.

frank's wild lunch said...

Damn, how do you get so many comments? I'm jealous.

_X_Tootsie
_X_Wet Hot American Summer
_X_Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
__Gremlins
_X_Howard the Duck
__50 First Dates
_X_Buffalo ’66
_X_Vertigo
_X_Hedwig and the Angry Inch
_X_It’s a Wonderful Life
_X_Breakfast at Tiffany’s
_X_Dancer in the Dark

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME is the movie that makes me an absolute blubbering mess. All-time favorite movie. I started crying in the 3rd scene and wept until it was over and then ran to my car and lost it in the parking garage.

joe chandler said...

I am only a snob about comedy. I used to be a snob about comedy and music, but then I got old and no one plays me cool bands anymore, so I had to expand my tastes.

Erik said...

Christy, it's all good in the hood.

Erik said...

Okay, I'm going to go back and reply to several comments right now...

(and I'm going to go backwards, for my sanity, so I don't miss anything that I want to comment on) (I kind of mucked up this comment thread by posting the ipod meme in with the movie meme) (but whatever) (what's a meme anyway, like: what's the word supposed to mean?) (anyone?) (bueller? bueller?)

JOE CHANDLER: I cannot imagine you not being "cool." I mean, maybe you're getting older and you don't know the "cool" bands anymore, but you're still pretty cool. I am trying to listen to KCRW more, not that that's the music the "cool kids" are listening to, but they generally play "cool" music that I don't know, and so whenever I listen to KCRW I feel like I'm cooler than I really am. You know?

christy said...

100!

Erik said...

Dear Frank's Wild Lunch, aka Kyle:

Don't be a snob like Joe Chandler about 50 First Dates. (I actually don't know whether Joe Chandler is a snob about 50 First Dates or not, I just like calling Joe Chandler a snob.) I noticed that 50 First Dates is one of the few movies you haven't seen on my list, and I can excuse the other two omissions (you should probably see Gremlins for the first time when you're ten to really fall in love with it and you should probably see Dude Where's My Car when you're a total alcoholic to really fall in love with it) but you really must watch 50 First Dates. It's a great romantic comedy.

I'm right there with you on your love for You Can Count on Me. Did you know that it originally started as a short play--and the play consisted of only two scenes--that scene towards the beginning of the film with the brother and the sister reuniting (i think it might be the first scene, actually) and the scene with them saying goodbye at the busstop at the end--and Kenneth Lonergan added everything in between for the movie. But those two bookened scenes in the movie are word-for-word as they were in the play. I just love that.

In response to your "how do I get so many comments" question, um, at least 73 percent of the comments are me...so...it's not nearly as many comments as it appears...

(and I also harrass people into making comments, that helps too) (like, for instance, Joe Chandler used to make LOTS of comments, and then he mellowed out a bit, and then I got all whiney, like, "wa wa...Joe Chandler...wa wa...never makes...wa wa...comments anymore." And then Joe Chandler was like "I DO fucking make comments still, I made one today," which was true, but I think I still got to him because have you noticed that he's left, like three comments today...) (I'm just sayin'.)

Erik said...

Oh...and Frank's Wild Lunch: I've been wanting to say this to you for, like, a really long time...

I started reading your blog about a year ago or so, and we have some mutual friends and our theater-going habits have intersected so many times it's riconkulous. I know this because when I first started reading your blog, I read through a bunch of your archived posts and I don't know how many times I was like, "I was at that show that night too!" (Manymany times.) (Just like latin music has manymany beats.)

Like, for instance, when you went to see the Taper's last New Works Festival at the Douglas (I forget which reading it was now), you wrote a post about bumping into your friend Jamie at the reading, and I totally went to that reading WITH JAMIE.

And then right after I started reading your blog, I went to go see Grown-ups on the Playground at the LATC, and you were totally sitting behind me.

(Okay, do I sound like a psycho stalker telling you this?) (Because I'm not.) (And I should probably have said this in a comment on YOUR blog, but by saying it as a comment on MY blog, I totally just got another comment, hence the "how do you get so many comments" thing.) (Just wait, I'm totally about to leave, like, ten more comments.) (It's all part of the My Year of New Things experience.) (I try to provide an experience.)

TheDarkerUma said...

christ!

Erik said...

Urp, I wanted you to take the Adam-list test because I like to make you do things. How's that?

None of your answers were news to me, true...EXCEPT, I think it's really funny that you've never even heard of Howard the Duck (you are so Canadian) and I totally forgot that we used to have that Dude, Where's My Car poster up in our bedroom.

Oh, and I love our Hedwig tattoo too, even though it really grosses me out for you to even imply the concept of you and me having sex. (Though I think it's perfectly normal to imagine our tattoos talking to each other, since their eye-level to each other.) (Not OUR eye-level, but their eye-level.) (Our crotch level, really) (which then brings us back to the sex thing) (and then, like you, I think of the two of us having sex) (and I'm all, so grossed out) (but they ARE sexy tattoos) (it's very complicated.)

Erik said...

Oh, and Urp, YOU SO FUCKING NEED TO SEE THESE MOVIES.

_ It’s a Wonderful Life
_ Breakfast at Tiffany’s
_ Dancer in the Dark

I mean, I know you, and I know that you will love all three of these movies. Even if you don't think you will. You just have to be in the right mood (i.e. alone and holed up with nothing else to do for the entire night and ready to cry) for Dancer in the Dark. And I think you would love the other two as well.

Erik said...

Urp, are you happy? I left you three comments in a row. (counting this one)

Erik said...

STEVE: I think we should change Joe Chandler's name to Joe Cahndler. Like, I think we should look into LEGALLY CHANGING HIS NAME. (Could we do that without his permission?) (Because how funny would that be, if we called him up and we were like, "Hey Joe, guess what? You're name's legally Joe Cahndler now!")

Erik said...

ANGELA KANG:

No one is ever late to the comment party. If I had my druthers, no comment party would ever end.

--I know that this is weird, but I'm actually surprised that you've never seen Dude, Where's My Car. Not that it's really a movie that screams "Angela Kang," and not that it's really a movie that I even think you would really love, (thought I think you would love *parts* of it) but still, for some reason, I was surprised that you've never seen it.

--re: 50 First Dates, right??? It's impossible to hate this movie. It sucks you in. (Unless you're PAM...I sent PAM to see this movie, and then I was like, "did you LOVE IT?" And she was like, "I don't really like walrus jokes, but it was okay." And I was like, "that movie was about SO MUCH MORE than just walrus jokes, did we really see the same movie?"

--I remember that story about you getting in a car accident before going to see D in the D. Which is an oddly appropriate thing to happen right before you see that movie.

joe chandler said...

I can't listen to KCRW because I feel like I'm being tricked. I believe that Nick Harcourt(is that right?) is sitting in his booth saying, "What should I trick Joe Chandler into thinking is cool music?" And I'll listen and think something is cool and i'll mention it to a music loving youth and he'll snicker at me, and say "you're a moron, old man."

P.S. No one listens to music cause they like it. they listen to it to be accepted by others.

P.P.S. That first P.S. is what the snob joe chandler would say.

Erik said...

LINDSAY:

--I am really excited that you saw Tootsie at the drive-in. I've only seen one movie at the drive-in. It was Teen Wolf.

--Okay, if I was going to send you to the video store to watch only ONE of the movies on the list that you haven't seen (even though I think you should see all of them, if I had to choose ONE to send you out to rent and watch ASAP) I would tell you to go rent and watch HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH, like, NOW.

--Is Poe still around? I like Poe. Actually, though, I don't think I own her album--I think the Angry Johnny song is from a compilation KROQ album that I have.

Erik said...

But what would Joe Cahndler say?

Erik said...

I want a shirt that says:

WWJCD?

And then on the back, it says:

"What Would Joe Cahndler Do?"

joe chandler said...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLD%2CGGLD%3A2004-33%2CGGLD%3Aen&q=%22Joe+Cahndler%22&btnG=Search

Erik said...

Joe, DUDE:

Google KNOWS you!

The Rhetorical Letter Writer said...

Dear Erik,

Isn't your "do new things every day" philosophy somewhat contrary to your "watch the same movies over and over and over again" lifestyle?

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer

Erik said...

OMG, I can't believe the Rhetorical Letter Writer left a comment on my blog! I feel like a I've just gotten a comment from a celebrity (but because the Rhetorical Letter Writer has no face--I mean, I'm sure they do have a face, but since it's anonymous--I feel as if I've gotten a comment from someone cool like the McBurgler).

I'm not going to reply to the Rhetorical Letter Writer's question because it was obviously rhetorical.

(Why is it so hard to spell the word rhetorical?)

Erik said...

DOUG:

"Arm in arm in arm in arm..."

Just hearing those words totally makes me all misty.

That movie is PAINFUL in such a good way.

And so so funny too.

And I think Sharon Stone's performance in it is my favorite Sharon Stone performance (which isn't saying much, maybe, but still) (I've never seen either of the Basic Instinct movies).

Doug said...

I love Sharon in that, too (though I saw it twice before I knew it was her--didn't find out until post-Basic Instinct, which by the way you should see: it's fabulous in a Mommie Dearest sort of way; see it with a snarky group of friends, though I warn you: try to avert your eyes when Michael Douglas has his orgasms; they ain't pretty.)

christy said...

"McBurgler"?

Hamburgler, Erik. He's the Hamburgler.

frank's wild lunch said...

Erik and Lindsay, I TOO saw Tootsie at the drive-in! In De Queen, Arkansas! I'm sure I had no idea what was going on for much of the film. I must've been about 8-years-old.

Erik, I promise I haven't shunned 50 First Dates for any reason other than my finding the trailer a little irritating. Aside from that I have no opinion whatsoever. I'll add it to Netflix on your rec. And I think my dad was all weird about my seeing Gremlins when I was a kid, and when I got older I didn't really care. Seems like I read the book tie-in, though. I always read the book tie-in when the parents wouldn't let me watch the movie. And my grad school nemesis tried to make me watch DUDE.... but I wasn't drunk or high so I didn't think it was that funny, and my grad school nemesis was singing its praises, which made me hate it before it even started I think I either left before it was over or moaned until he turned it off. Unfair, I know, but there you have it.

I did finally cotton to the fact that half of these comments are from you -- but still, if you're only leaving half and you've got over 100, that's pretty damn impressive. I should nag my friends more.

In case you wondered, I love to use the word "cotton" in that context. And I'd sound like an ass or a hick (which I often sound like without the aid of southern idiom) if I said it out loud, so it's fun to use it in print.

As for the blog action -- WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? COULDN'T YOU SEE HOW STARVED FOR COMMENTS FRANK'S WILD LUNCH IS?? (Other readers of this blog, take note.) For example, if I'd known you were a longtime FWL reader I might not have bored you with my adoration of YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, since I've done it countless times on those pages. Except that I love that movie and I love Laura Linney in that movie and I love...no, I mean I LOVE Mark Ruffalo in that movie and sometimes I think I'd still be in the closet if not for that movie and everyone should see it except that I worry when I get so excited about such an understated movie people don't really get my enthusiasm because I've built it up too much. Anyway, my ex-roommate used to scold me for repeating my stories. One of the many reasons why he's my ex-roommate.

Seriously though, tell Jamie I said hi! Hope he's doing well. And say hi yourself next time you sit behind me in a play!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the name of the playwright I was complaining about in that Taper post appears earlier in this comment. If you add an S. And you put the word hilly in front of it. Thanks.

Erik said...

McBurgler, Hamburgler.
Tomato, Tomatoe.

(Okay, maybe not.)

Erik said...

Kyle,

You have to get over your thing against 50 First Dates. If you haven't already put it on your netflix que, do it now.

I'm waiting.
.
.
.
Done?

Okay.

You can let your nemesis keep his love of Dude Where's My Car. There's really no use trying to leap that hurdle and try to love it.

If I wasn't so tired right now, I would try to use the word "cotton."

Why did you delete today's blog entry on your blog!?!?

I haven't seen Jamie in ages. He's really more a friend of friends, but we DID go to that reading together. Next time I see him, I will say hi for sure though.

Oh, and I can't remember what you said in your Taper post, but you're talkin' about a friend of mine...so watchit.

Angela said...

ERIK--

You should be surprised that I have not seen "Dude Where's My Car" because I will watch anything (ANYTHING) that is on cable. (Which is how I saw "50 First Dates", and how I watched "The Family Man" starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni approximately 2.5 times.)

(I have actually seen the end of DWMC and many pieces of the middle on cable. But I just can't quite bring myself to Tivo the whole thing...)

On a DWMC-related side-note: the woman who did the "...and then?" drive-thru voiceover starred in my last one-act play (that I didn't invite anyone to).

Angela said...

And RE: POE

I totally have Poe's album. I totally forgot I had Poe's album, until my Hubby's friend came over one day and was like, "Hey, can I burn a copy of this Poe album?"

He also wanted a copy of the Lemonheads and Frente.

How effin' awesome is my music collection?

frank's wild lunch said...

Oh no, is he a friend of yours too?! We just had a weird exchange after I said hi to Jamie that night and I posted a blind recap of it.... Remind me to delete that entry....

I didn't delete it; I just accidentally clicked "save" instead of "post."

frank's wild lunch said...

To clarify, I didn't delete my most current entry; I accidentally clicked save. It's back now. I'm TOTALLY deleting that post from 2004.

Erik said...

FWL,

(1) I'm really glad you didn't delete your most recent entry.

(2) I wish that WE had had a weird conversation in one of our random theater crossing of paths and that you had written about that because that would be funny and I've had lots of weird exchanges with people.

Erik said...

Angela,

YOU KNOW THE "AND THEN" WOMAN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not only do you know her, but she acted in one of your plays (that you didn't invite me to)!!?!??

Okay, OMG.

Knowing the "and then" woman is seriously cooler than if you were like, "Marlon Brando is literally my godfather--he and my dad are best friends, and, yep: he's my godfather." Or if you were like, "Julia Roberts decided that the SECOND play she does on Broadway is going to be my new play." Seriously, those things would be cool, and all, but not nearly as cool as being able to say that YOU KNOW THE "AND THEN" WOMAN!

Erik said...

Any friend who has Lemonheads and Frente featured prominently in their music library is a friend I will keep for life.

christy said...

Erik, it's been bugging me for days. Why is this post called "Driver" in the Dark?

Erik said...

Christy, it's because I actually wrote the second half of this post first, the part about Dancer in the Dark, and I started writing it because I was driving home when a Dancer in the Dark song started playing on my ipod, and then I almost got lost driving home because I was so overwhelmed by the song. Hence Driver in the Dark, because I was driving. Not really very clever. But then I added the stuff about all of the movies that I had seen a million times and I put that at the beginning of the post, making the title of the post even more obscure.

Anonymous said...

_X_Tootsie
_X_Wet Hot American Summer
_X_Back to the Future
__Dude, Where's My Car
_X_Gremlins
_X_Howard the Duck
_X_50 First Dates
_X_Buffalo ’66
_X_Vertigo
_X_Hedwig and the Angry Inch
_X_It’s a Wonderful Life
_X_Breakfast at Tiffany’s
_X_Dancer in the Dark
_X_Overboard
_X_Irreconcilable Differences
_X_Hello Again
_X_Outrageous Fortune

I really must see Dude, Where's My Car. It's the perfect movie for a Punk Ass Momma. At least it sounds like something I should have seen, but it came out before I knew about the Punk Ass in me.

By the way, I think this whole string of comments is really boring.

PAM

christy said...

PAM, I swear there used to be an off-color joke from someone with a sick/twisted and (at times) culturally insensitive sense of humor.

But I don't know if that would have done it for you.

Annette said...

I had the exact same experience with "Dancer in the Dark"; Loved it, brilliant movie, but there is no way I'm watching it again... unless someone feels like giving me an obscene amount of money to sit through it again.

I sobbed through nearly all of it, and leaving the theatre I was still crying. When I eventually stopped I felt so drained by the whole experience that I sat down in a chair and looked at a wall in my apartment for about two hours.