The mystery has been solved: CLINK ME.
That was seriously the best prank that's ever been played on me. I went from being intrigued by the busboy to annoyed by the busboy to loving the busboy to being freaked out by the busboy to hating the busboy to trying to forget about the busboy to being okay with the busboy again and being resolved that I might not ever know who the busboy is to being freaked out by the busboy again to wanting to kill the busboy to embracing the busboy to hating the busboy again and now, finally, NOW THAT I KNOW WHO IT IS, I love the busboy.
(But I still kinda want Danny the waiter to call me.)
(My apologies to the people who I called on the phone--who haven't been keeping up with the busboy saga--who I accused of being the busboy.)
(Oh, and who started the MySpace account? Because the busboy says he did everything except for starting the MySpace account.) (Which could be a lie, for all I know.)
(Also, by the way, I have never been pranked so hardcore, so I'm calling this New Thing #72: I've been punked.) (And thank god the BusBoy is one of my oldest friends because otherwise I'd probably be mad at the prankster right now...but after 15 years of friendship, it's easy to forgive.) (Even something like making up TheBusBoy.) (Frikkity frikken freak.)
(Thank you to Bo for finding the above ninja BusBoy picture.)