I am so disgusted with my body right now.
Because I can't stop burping. I am serious. I have had so much gas today (all up top, none down below) and I'm afraid it's never going to stop. I started burping when I woke up and I'm still burping right now as I write this post. I'm like a freakshow straight outta Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But I don't remember eating a whole lotta glorious chocolate or anything like the golden ticket kids. So, I'm left wondering: WHERE IN THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS GAS COMING FROM?
I am totally grodied out.
I am going to change the subject because (1) I don't want to subject you to any more of My Day of Burping and (2) I don't want to think about burping anymore anyway and (3) maybe if I can stop thinking about it, the burping will actually stop.
So my new blog friend Rebecca told me (in a previous comment thread) that she was obsessed with my blog, which got me thinking about obsessions. Because I'm an obsessive person. Like the thing with my uncontrollable burping today. I know I said I would stop talking about it, but it seemed like the perfect example because I AM OBSESSED WITH MY INABILITY TO STOP BURPING TODAY.
I started making a list of Things I Am Obsessed With in this previous comment thread that I mentioned, but since I know some people don't read comment threads (huh?) I thought I would continue my list in an actual blog entry.
So. Here is a completely non-complete list of things that I am (or have been) obsessed with (in no particular order):
1. Making lists (have I told you about the journal I found from elementary school that is filled with lists, including lists of things like "Secondary Disney Characters"?)
2. Michael J. Fox (my first love)
3. Google (this obsession is well documented)
4. Chocolate (who isn't obsessed with chocolate?) (besides Uma?)
5. Getting A's (obviously this is an old obsession, since it has been years since I was graded on anything) (I sucked so hardcore at math, which made me hate it. I didn't even want an A in math, that's how much I hated it. But then I got a math tutor, I forget what her name was but she was the nicest woman ever. And then I wanted her to feel good about her tutoring skills so I studied my ass off not so that I would do better in the class and actually learn something but because I wanted to be able to tell her that her tutoring was working.)
6. Being on time ("Early is on time, on time is late, late is dead")
7. Wet Hot American Summer (go rent it now)
8. Pooping (this obsession is also well documented)
9. Richard Brautigan (I even wrote a play about my obsession with RB, that's how obsessed I was with RB)
10. Bloggers named Sheila (two of them)
11. London (I found a web deal for roundtrip tickets for $169! I have this fantasy of just flying out on a Friday, arriving on a Saturday, going to the Curly Dog cafe in Primrose Hill for a tuna and sweet corn sandwich for lunch, then going to the Spread Eagle Pub for some tea, then going to Wagamama's for dinner, then going to a play at the Royal Court, then dancing all night at PopStarz, and then getting back on a plane on Sunday morning and finally sleeping on the plane and then arriving back in Los Angeles on Sunday night and being able to tell people that "I went to London for the weekend.") (How cool would that be?)
12. Getting into Northwestern (a school I ended up not even applying to)
13. Comic Books (only DC universe) (I stopped collecting 13 years ago)
14. Tootsie (I have seen it over 100 times. No joke.)
15. Lucy (obviously)
16. Cult TV shows (Twin Peaks, Freaks and Geeks, Buffy, Degrassi, MSCL, etc.)
17. My health (I'm not really obsessed with being healthy, I'm more obsessed with worrying about how unhealthy I am) (which is fucked up)
18. Updating my address book (this a weird super-anal-retentive obsession)
19. Alphabetizing the books in my library (I kinda gave this one up awhile ago, because I have too many books, but it pains me to see my books unalphabetized)
20. Writing haiku (2000 was my haiku year)
21. Jeff Probst (hottest man ever)
22. Bjork (don't even think about dissing her swan dress)
23. Updating my blog (hello)
Okay, I'll probably add more obsessions to this later, but the coffeeshop I'm at is about to close so I'm done for now. Toodles.