Monday, March 20, 2006

New Thing #50: A new attitude--and it's off the hook, yo. This shit's gonna make me a more well rounded individual or I ain't your babydaddy.

Sorry, but I don't know why I decided to be all gangsta and shit with the title of this post. I don't even know what the title of this post means.

Anyway.

New Thing #50:

I've decided to read fewer entertainment/gossip websites, like Defamer, and to read legit news sites more frequently, like CNN.com, so that I can be a more well-rounded individual.

(Okay, actually I'm not reading any fewer gossip sites, but I am trying to read more legit news sites. It's all about balance, people.)

So that's what I've been doing. I've been gettin' my news groove on. And I wanted to share a few stories with you from the last week or so that I've found particularly interesting:

(in no particular order)

1. This man gets my vote for "Worst Father of the Year."

2. Have you heard of DonorSiblingRegistry.com? It's a networking website for mothers who have conceived via sperm donation, and through this website (which I like to think of as MyDonor or Spermster) , they're meeting up with other mothers who've conceived using the same donor's sperm. I honestly don't know what to make of this. Part of me thinks it's pretty rockstar, but it freaks me out too. If you potentially had a dozen (or more) half-siblings spread across the country, would you try to reach out to them or would you let well enough alone?

3. Hey, if I ever heard an example of dramatic irony, this would be it. (Okay, this is so weird, but as soon as I finished typing that sentence, "Ironic" by Alanis Morisette began playing on my Ipod.) (True story.) (If Alanis ever redoes this song and decides to up the ironic quotient, as she's been advised to do by millions before me, I would suggest she use this news story as an example in her song instead of the thing about only having spoons when you really need a knife.)

4. I may have mercury poisoning (and that's just speculation on my part, of course), but at least I'm not the victim of "backward evolution." However, when I was, like, fourteen, after I saw the movie My Left Foot, I decided that it would be really cool to be able to use my feet like they were hands and I spent a summer trying to teach myself how to be a really good artist using my feet. The problem was, I wasn't even a very good artist with my hands, so there was little hope for my feet. I did, however, get really good at opening doors with my feet and I've trained most of my little toes to move back and forth on their very own (without their brothers and sisters moving with them), which is actually a pretty difficult thing to do. (Go ahead! Try it! Just try moving your middle toe without moving the other ones! Try it now.) (Okay, did you try it? See. I told you it's difficult.)

5. I don't sleep nearly enough. I mean, my average is probably seven hours a night. Some nights I get eight and some nights it's more like six. Apparently, we're supposed to get eight hours a night, and those of us who don't get eight hours a night might be killing ourselves via lack of sleep. Okay, that's probably over-doing it a little bit, and the fact that we all need to get more sleep is hardly newsworthy, but this article gave me another reason to be paranoid about my health.

6. I haven't even talked about Iraq or anything, like, truly newsworthy, but I'm tired of this new attitude. I'm just going to go ahead and say it: I'm a shallow person.

7. This isn't news. I'm just sad that Joe Chandler hasn't posted a comment in my blog in, like, months, and I needed to express my sadness somewhere and I figured that this was as good a place as any. Joe used to post comments on my blog all the time. I don't know what happened to him. Where did you go, Joe?

23 comments:

Bonnie said...

RE: the sleeping thing, is it troubling that I sleep about three hours for every 30 up?

You're way ambitious to attempt the whole "real news" thing, even for the span of time it takes to create a few list items.

This whole post is way long. I skimmed. Hope that's okay. ;)

soleclaw said...

Believe it or not I read about 85% of this entry. The list fascinates me and now I want to know the whole list of 100...so I can see which movies I've seen or haven't.

By the way, I love "Big." I had a huge crush on Tom Hanks when I was like 11 because of that movie. The very beginning when he first turns "big" and is in nothing but those boys undies...so cute.

I'll never ever forget two movies and those are "Big" and "Big Business"...they were recorded on the same VHS tape at home and they were the first "adult" movies I really enjoyed as a child.

Mind if I ask what you have against Jamie Foxx and his perfomance as Ray Charles?

Erik said...

Hi Bonnie and soleclaw, I decided to break this post into two posts so it would seem less long.

Bonnie, the basic gist of the article was that NO ONE is getting enough sleep, we all need more. I think. I don't know, I can't remember. I didn't get enough sleep last night.

soleclaw, Big is just a terrific movie. I love that you had a video with Big and Big Business on it. I'm also a Big Business fan. Are you a fan of Outrageous Fortune? Tell me you are.

I just reread what I wrote about Jamie Foxx and I was harsh. My problem was more with the movie than his performance, the whole movie felt very by-the-book to me, but the scene that really made me mad was the scene towards the end, it was a dream sequence where he was with his younger self and he could see...that scene totally took me out of the movie and all I could think was, "oh look, it's NOT ray charles, it's an actor who can see and who has been pretending this whole time." It really took me out of the movie. Oy, I just felt like the whole thing was "showy" and I didn't FEEL IT.

joe chandler said...

Hey, I posted on the movie part before I saw the part about how I don't post anymore. So HA. I'm still here. Loyally reading. I will try to comment more on your behalf.

Erik said...

Joe, no pressure. We just like you over here on My Year of New Things, that's all.

Jesse said...

so if I give you a link to Moby's naked pool party you're not gonna go to it?

http://www.lastnightsparty.com/qt/index.html

Erik said...

Jesse, I'm not saying that I'm giving up those sites, I'm just trying to broaden my horizons. How much do you want to go to a pool party with Moby, right?

soleclaw said...

Oh...am I on the bad list if I say I've never seen Outrageous Fortune? I promise I'll rent it! This weekend! (If Blockbuster has it).

I only saw Ray once and I don't necessarily remember any specific dream sequence...I just remember there were a lot of flashbacks and they all sort of run together for me. Does it bother you that Jamie spells his name with two x's? Weird.

Erik said...

soleclaw, i actually like that jamie foxx has two x's in his name. maybe i'll change my name to erikk!

okay, you don't have to watch Outrageous Fortune this weekend, but if you do, you won't be disappointed. it stars shelly long and bette midler at the height of their 80s awesomeness.

the only two bette midler movies that i really (like really REALLY love) are Big Business and Outrageous Fortune.

my favorite Shelly Long movies are:

1. Irreconcilable Differences
2. Hello Again
3. Outrageous Fortune

These are honestly three amazing movies and she is so damn good in them and I wish she had become a bigger star and got to continue doing amazing comedic movies, because she's kind of a genius.

(I even have a soft spot for Troop Beverly Hills. Sad, but true.)

(I cannot believe I'm outing myself about my love for some of these movies. I'm losing respect in the blogosphere by the second.)

el anor said...

I am so confused. What was supposed to be ironic? Not like, Okay, Alanis you're giving us Canucks a bad name because now billions of people know that you don't know what the fuck ironic means, BUT in a... what was ironic? I missed that part.

I would like to suggest that for a new thing you put a poll on your blog, courtesy of pollhost.com.

Erik said...

Hey El, do you have any suggestions? What do you want to see polled?

joe chandler said...

Poll Suggestion:

Does Erik not understand Gene Wilder's true genius?

Yes


No

Gina said...

I remember going to see "my left foot" with Laurie Firestone in high school...good flick.

Just a few of my favorite movies:
*Swingers
*Love and Sex (not as dirty as it sounds!)
*My Best Friends Wedding
*Love Actually
*Swimming with Sharks
*Bring it on
*Pretty Woman (a classic even though she does, according to Matt, sell her vagaina for money. But she's a hooker with a heart of gold!)
*The Usual Supects
*Resevoir Dogs
*pretty much anything with Edward Norton

Yea, they're not really deep or interspective movies, but it's what I like, mmkay?

Gina said...

I remember going to see "my left foot" with Laurie Firestone in high school...good flick.

Just a few of my favorite movies:
*Swingers
*Love and Sex (not as dirty as it sounds!)
*My Best Friends Wedding
*Love Actually
*Swimming with Sharks
*Bring it on
*Pretty Woman (a classic even though she does, according to Matt, sell her vagaina for money. But she's a hooker with a heart of gold!)
*The Usual Supects
*Resevoir Dogs
*pretty much anything with Edward Norton

Yea, they're not really deep or interspective movies, but it's what I like, mmkay?

Gina said...

So, i read your blog at work, and it was too long to really read, so i skimmed, and i keep seeing movie titles pop out at me that spark a memory of some kind.

My sister and I have seen "hello again" too many times to count. We love that movie and would always watch it when we went to London every summer and stayed with my Grandparents. We knew it word for word..

I've seen troop bev hills numerous times too. Don't be ashamed. It's a good movie! She shows those girls what they really need to know, like how to tell an expensive diamond from a piece of shit, and how to help old people do ridiculous dances in their wheel chairs.

Big Business rocks. I love Lily and Bette together. RIch twins, poor twins, switched at birth..let the wackiness ensue!

Irr. differences is a classic. It was always on during a lazy sunday afternoon on FX or TBS or something. THat's the one with Drew Barrymore, right?

I love Shelly Long! Finally, someone else that appreciates her!

Erik said...

Gina, it makes me so happy to know that you love Shelly Long too.

Erik said...

Gina, Bring It On is definitely a classic. How hot is Jesse Bradford? Right?

Bonnie said...

Yuuuuuuummmmmm, Jesse Bradford.

Gina said...

ok, how fricken random is this...i was up late last night and BIG BUSINESS was on tbs and then what was right after it?.....Yep, outrageous fourtune!!! What are the chances of that happening? Woah!

Erik said...

Bonnie, major yum, right?

And Gina, did you watch that awesome double feature?

Bonnie said...

I had the opportunity to "try and cast him" in a feature film last year. We went another way and then the effin' name actor we had backed out two weeks before the shoot.

Effer!

I soooooo wish we'd gone with Jesse Bradford and his gorgeous self. *harumph*

Erik said...

Oh no! Always go with Jesse Bradford! Because, like you said, 'Yuuuuuuummmmmm.'

Bonnie said...

Well, good news. (Which I can share here, since it's not MY blog.) Tom Welling PASSED, which means we can now open up that particular role for one Mr. Jesse Bradford. Woo!

I think I'll pitch him to the director tomorrow. Heeee!