Sunday, March 19, 2006

New Thing #49: I talked to Bonnie on the phone.

(If anyone knows anything about DSL and why my DSL hates me, please throw me a bone? Seriously. I need help. Help me.)

(My DSL decides to stop recognizing my computer every five minutes or so, so I'm always being thrown off of the internet and then having to reconnect all the time. It's super annoying. It only happens when I'm at home--whenever I'm anywhere else using wireless, my internet connection is brilliant.)

(I just wrote this blog entry and added, like, thirty links to it, and then my DSL booted me and the entire post was gone, baby, gone.) (So now I'm starting over and I hope it'll be as good as it was the first time.) (No, scrap that. I hope it'll be better than it was!) (No, scrap that too. I don't just "hope" it'll be better. That's wishy washy. That's milktoast. I'm just gonna fucking make it better.) (Hells yeah, the post I had been writing for the last hour was hogwash compared to the brilliance that's gonna spark outta my fingertips the second time out of the gate.) (This time!) (Now!) (Here goes.)

(Fuck yeah.)

(Okay, now I feel like I've set myself up for failure.) (I may not get a book deal out of this post or anything like that, but that's fine because it's my favorite New Thing I've done in a long while and, well, okay, sorry, wait, no more talking about it, I'm just gonna go ahead and rewrite the fucking post already.)


So if you read my comments, you know that I have embarked on a (totally non-sexual, more of a mutual-admiration-society type) cyber love affair with a woman named Bonnie. She's my NBFF. ("New Best Friend Forever," for those of you not hep to the lingo.)

Bonnie and I met via blogland. (Bonnie was actually introduced to my blog by Colleen, or communicatrix as she's known in the blogosphere, so thank you Colleen for igniting our love fest) (Bonnie's pet name for Colleen is Coco, but my actual pet for fifteen years was named Coco and so I can't call Colleen "Coco" because then I might run the risk of having too many Cocos on my blog and people might be like, "wait, is he talking about his dear departed miniature dachshund or is he talking about the communicatrix?" And I don't want that to happen.) Well, anyway, the other night Bonnie and I talked on the phone for the first time.

Hello? New Thing much? Exactly.

Bonnie is the first person I've ever "met" via my blog in which the relationship has progressed from "I'm reading their words on the screen" to "Holly cow! I'm actually hearing their voice on the telephone!"

It was definitely a New Thing. It was New Thing #49.

It was surreal because we both knew so much about each other, but we didn't know one incredibly basic thing: what the other person's voice sounded like.

Which is weird, if you think about it. Weird in a really cool kinda way. It was like, okay, um, it was like this: imagine if you were suddenly on the telephone with one of your favorite literary characters. This person who you've spent hours and hours getting to know and falling in love with is suddenly *bang* *boom!* alive.

That would be kinda weird, right? But amazing at the same time.

Talking to Bonnie was like...
It was like talking to Owen Meany.
Like talking to Peter Pan.
Like talking to Sookie Stackhouse.
Like talking to Arturo the Aqua Boy.
Like talking to Amelia Bedelia.

These fictional characters are some of my favorite people and I think that if I met any of them in real life, my head might explode.

But while I was talking to Bonnie on the phone, I felt like I could have been talking to one of these fictional characters come to life. That's how fantastical it was. (When we meet in person, which is an upcoming New Thing I'm looking forward to, hopefully my head won't actually explode.)

It was like we were both so freaking freaked out that we were actually talking to each other and actually hearing each others voices that we didn't actually do that much talking. We mostly just giggled and screamed things like "I can't believe we're actually talking to each other!"

It was, like, hella cool.


Bonnie said...

Yay! Comments are fixed! Such weirdness!

Oh, and can I tell you how very hard it was not to "scoop" you on this new thing? So hard!!

I particularly like the comparison to Amelia Bedelia since there's an actress named Bonnie Bedelia and it kind of all ties us together. ;)


(Keith may be able to help you with your DSL issues.)

And it's true. We both so totally geeked out the whole time we were on the phone... Keith was like, "Good morning, up all night screaming like a little girl on the phone with her NBFF." ;) Hee!

Erik said...

I am so glad you fixed your comments because I tried to comment on an old comment and you were right, I couldn't, but I will try to do it again.

We TOTALLY geeked out. And then after we hung up the phone I was bipping and bouncing all over the place. "I just talked to Bonnie!"

I love Keith's quote about how we were screaming like little girls.

Bonnie said...

No YOUR comments were broken earlier today!!!!! (See my latest blog entry--I took a screen cap of the error message I got when trying to comment here.)

MY comments are still wonky! It sucks!!

And I love that you were bipping and bouncing around after our talk. Can you imagine how "high" we're going to be after our meal meeting?!?

So silly! I LOVE it!!!!!

Erik said...

My comments were NOT broken. I know you have photographic evidence, but I refuse to believe it!

Anonymous said...

I was going to write my very first comment to your (or any) blog, and I am really distracted by having to "Choose an identity" AND only given 3 options of identity: blogger, other, and anonymous. Apparently the blog world doesn't hold us non-bloggers in very high regard. I sound like a big hippie right now, like "who draws the lines on the map, man" but I think it should be noted. Anyway -- I'm happy that you talked to Bonnie. I have a suggestion for your next new thing: Go to Flagstaff, AZ. Have you ever been there? I don't think so -- so it would be a new place AND there's snow there which you can't handle 'cause you live in Southern California. Pansy.

Erik said...

Who on earth is this who is writing me from Flagstaff, Arizona?

Anonymous said...

Okay, listen here. I was just trying to give you a friendly suggestion. Fuck you. You're uninvited.

Erik said...

I never wanted to go to fucking Flagstaff anyway!

Anonymous said...

I would like to meet Holly Cow. Also looking forward to meeting Bonnie and Keith.

Bonnie said...

Wow! Kiki has a comment virgin who's gone from deflowering/invitation to hostile/uninvitation in under ten minutes.


communicatrix said...

This is what happens when I check my feeds late. I miss ALL the action.

I am happy for you two squealing little girl geeks. Please alert us when you plan to actually meet in person, as some of us may want to plan ahead for adequate hearing loss protection.

Anonymous said...


Write your blogs in a different apppication so that when your crappy DSL connection fails you won't lose all of your beautiful genius cration.

My friend, a well-seasoned blogger, told me to tell ya.


Anonymous said...


Erik said...

I am never going to lose my beautiful genius cration ever again.

Bonnie said...

Okay, I'd like to put my money on an outside date of TEN DAYS before "beautiful genius cration" shows up in the Google searches that lead here.


TheDarkerUma said...

Whenever I see your toes I think of sex.

They would always creep me out - peeping from under the too short blankets on that undersized bed.


Erik said...




Jesse not from flagstaff said...


when i see his toes, i think about shoes and why they are such a great invention.


New Thing #50, wear shoes for 24 hours

TheDarkerUma said...

no, no, no..... I did not when I was looking over. I stopped myself. Come on now, have some faith!

But when I am blind sided by a picture (much like my solitaire picture), I do not have the tools to defend myself.

You also have to understand, I don't see men's toes often. Because like Jesse said most men wear shoes. So, when I do it immediately sends a message to my head - NUDITY. I have a small head so the path is short, and so in turn I am deemed defenseless.

You posted the picture. It's your fault.

not attracted to you in any way.

ps. a new thing could be hangin out with me and jesse with shoes on. double whammy, yo, yo, YO!

pps. i have now adequately recovered and when I come to your blog, i am immune.

Erik said...

Jesse if I have to wear shoes for 24 hours (egad!) does that mean I would have to wear shoes to bed???

Bonnie said...

Shoes are lame.

Erik said...

Uma, you just called me and I didn't answer the phone because I was on the other line and I figured you were going to call me to give me a whipping for not replying to this comment sooner, but I had to get dinner!

And, okay, I understand that you don't see men's toes often, but dear lord, you should be used to MY toes by now, at the very least. And not have ANY sexual thoughts when you see them. (Though I understand your reasoning about not seeing men's skin very often and therefore any bit of man flesh that you see makes you think of sex. You are, after all, Sri Lankan. I don't know why or how that would factor into this issue. I just felt like saying it.)

I am not attracted to you in any way either, and I am glad to hear you affirming that you aren't to me as well. All is right in the world.

Erik said...

Oh, and yes, Bonnie, shoes ARE lame.

TheDarkerUma said...

i called to inform you that Grey's is filmed at Prospect Studios. Yes, the Prospect Studios that my beloved GH is filmed.

I was driving by and wanted to squeal with you at the thought of ramming my car into Dr. McDreamy, but harumph....i ain't important enough!

Consider yourself back in the dog house.

an indignant (yet mischievous)

Erik said...

Okay, I was on the phone with my dad and then I wanted to be mischievous myself and reply to your comment instead of calling you back. How do you like them apples?

But that's besides the point.

We used to live right down the street from Seattle Grace Hospital!?!????!!!! Or, the studio version of it. And General Hospital films there too. There's just WAY too much hottness behind those walls.

Do you think that Dr. McDreamy and Cristina Yang and Todd and Blaire all hang out in the commissary together?

Bonnie said...

Hey MAP, do you think Holly Cow wears shoes?

Anonymous said...

Good question--I'm guessing not, but that shouldn't stop you. Erik is very open-minded and accepting of people with or without shoes.

Anonymous said...

I used to stare at both of you while you were asleep. But your toes didn't make me think of sex. They made me think of piles of clothes. I don't know why.

Bonnie said...

Okay, so... two things we were supposed to do but didn't do when we met in person (and a thing we didn that we probably shouldn't have done--dear lord was that enormous clitoris story met with a resounding thud or what?!?) were:

POST TO YOUR BLOG FROM THE HANDHELD (which I totally tried to do from the car but that was just not gonna happen) and GIVE YOU COPIES OF MY BOOKS (which sat in the car despite my reminder to Keith--"Hey, you're in charge. Don't forget the books in the car"). Augh!

Oh well.

Just means we have to meet again. ;)




Happy new year! ;)

Erik said...

I just got home from meeting you in person!!! I can't blog tonight. I have to write ten pages for my writing group tomorrow. But I am so happy we just met IRL!

Okay, so the enormous clit story was maybe built up a little too much...(and maybe the fact that we rushed into the story as we were walking out didn't help either)...but the "luckiest man in the world" story TOTALLY lived up to the hype, and it was fun to be sitting in between the two of you and get a little bit of the "he said, she said" vollying of story.

And, okay, how could we forget the blogging from your handheld?!?!?#???? I'm bummed that I don't have your books sitting on my bedside table next to me right now, but you can give them to me next time we meet IRL. And there was one other New Thing that I almost/kinda did--I didn't actually get drunk with my mother, because neither of us got drunk, but that was the first time I had ever sat at a bar and had drinks with my mom, so that's definitely a first.

Happy New Year!

Erik said...

Oh, and by the way:

While you were telling me the enormous clitoris story, someone in Indiana, Indianapolis was clicking over to my blog after having done a "giant labia" google search.

True story.

Bonnie said...