I feel like I haven't blogged in five hundred years. I'm sorry. I feel immense guilt about this lack of blogging. (Even though I think it's only really been, like, two days.)I've had a lot of writing to do the last few days, which is why I've been so unbloggy. (It's not just my blog I've been ignoring--I've been ignoring my Tivo too! You should see the ginormous list of unwatched shows that have accumulated in that thing.) (Holly crap.) (And, yes, that typo was intentional.)
Speaking of TV, I was reading TV Squad and I like the lists they make (things like “5 best television ensembles” and “5 best TV moms” and things like that) and since it’s no secret I like to make lists, I started to make a list of 10 Greatest TV characters ever. This was really hard to do and I haven’t actually winnowed the list down to 10 yet. In fact, I haven’t even winnowed it close to 10. I’m still winnowing. (And still adding to it, too, which makes my winnowing that much more difficult.)
I’m going to post my list below and if you feel strongly that any of the following people should make it to the Top Ten or if you think I’ve made an egregious error and forgotten someone who should be in the running, then please let me know.
(Oh, also, as the list currently stands, there might be more than one character listed from certain shows. However, one of the rules I’ve decided for the final Top Ten is there cannot be multiple characters listed from any one show.) (Which means I'm going to have to choose between Spike and Anya, which is SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than the choice that Sophie chick had to make.)
(Oh, and this list is all over the map right now.)
(And I feel like I should make separate lists for best main characters and best supporting characters, but everyone is lumped together right now.)
(in no particular order)
Agnes DiPesto from Moonlighting
Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties
Angela Chase from My So-Called Life
Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks
Brenda Walsh from Beverly Hills, 90210
Boston Rob from Survivor: All Stars (I know this is stretching it, but he was
definitely a "character." Come on!)Carol Hathoway from ER
Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City
Claire Fisher from Six Feet Under
Clayton Jones from Carnivale
Cristina Yang from Grey's Anatomy
Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks
Elaine Benis from Seinfeld
Emma Nelson from Degrassi: The Next Generation
GOB Bluth from Arrested Development
Homer Simpson from The Simpsons
Izzie Stevens from Grey’s Anatomy
Jack Tripper from Three’s Company
Jackie Harris from Roseanne
Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life
Judy Owen from Homefront
Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years
Kimberly Shaw from Melrose Place
Laverne De Fazio from Laverne and Shirley
Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks
Lorelai Gilmore from The Gilmore Girls
Lucy Ricardo from I Love Lucy
Mary Richards from The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Nick Andopolis from Freaks and Geeks
Rayanne Graff from My So-Called Life
Ruth Fisher from Six Feet Under
Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap
Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sydney Andrews from Melrose Place
Tobias Funke from Arrested Development
Trudy Wiegel from Reno: 911!
HELP ME.
WHY DO I FEEL COMPELLED TO MAKE LISTS?
I'M NOT REALLY A *CRAZY* LISTMAKER. AT LEAST NOT ANYMORE. NOT LIKE I WAS WHEN I WAS A KID. NOW MY LISTMAKING IS PRETTY MUCH UNDER CONTROL. I DON' KNOW WHY I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAPS. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I WANTED TO DIFFERENTIATE IT FROM THE LIST. WHICH IS A WEIRD AND DUMB REASON TO FINISH THIS BLOG ENTRY IN ALL CAPS. WOULDN'T IT BE COOL TO BE PAID TO MAKE LISTS FOR A LIVING. WHEN PEOPLE ASKED YOU WHAT YOUR JOB WAS, YOU COULD BE LIKE, "I MAKE LISTS OF RANDOM THINGS." HOW MUCH FUN WOULD THAT BE? WOW, THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING TO READ ALL OF THESE CAPITAL LETTERS ISN'T IT? I'M AT STARBUCKS RIGHT NOW AND I'M SITTING BY THE WINDOW AND THIS GUY JUST TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF OUTSIDE THE WINDOW AND IT WAS REALLY DISTRACTING. FOR A SECOND I FORGOT ABOUT ALL OF THESE CAPITAL LETTERS. BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND. I WONDER IF ANYONE IS STILL READING THIS? I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ALREADY STOPPED BY NOW IF I WASN'T ACTUALLY WRITING THIS BECAUSE ALL OF THESE CAPITAL LETTERS ARE, LIKE, HARD TO FOCUS YOUR EYES ON. RIGHT? LIKE, IF I JUST SKIMMED THIS BLOG ENTRY, I MIGHT THINK THAT THIS WAS SOME SORT OF WEIRD LEGAL SMALL-PRINT MUMBO JUMBO AT THE BOTTOM. BUT THEN I MIGHT THINK, "BUT THE PRINT ISN'T ACTUALLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHER PRINT. WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS SMALL PRINT?" AND THEN I WOULD BE ANNOYED AT ERIK FOR WRITING SO MUCH ABOUT SO LITTLE, i.e. FOR WRITING IN CAPS FOR SO LONG AND ACTUALLY WRITING ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WAS WRITING IN CAPS. WHY WON'T RYAN SEACREST JUST BITE THE BULLET AND FUCKING COME OUT OF THE CLOSET? (WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? OH, RIGHT, I JUST SAW THE PICTURE OF HIM KISSING TERI HATCHER AND IT'S PAINFUL.) WHAT IS IT ABOUT STARBUCKS THAT MAKES ME HAVE TO POOP. I MEAN, I HAVE TO POOP AT OTHER PLACES TOO BECAUSE I POOP QUITE FREQUENTLY, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT STARBUCKS THAT REALLY DRAWS THE POOP OUT. MY BROTHER MATT IS THE SAME WAY WITH BARNES AND NOBLE. HE CAN'T GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE WITHOUT POOPING. WOW, THIS BLOG ENTRY IS DEGENERATING QUICKLY. I'M STILL REALLY MAD THAT TIMMY BEAT DERRICK IN THE GAUNTLET.
I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK.
NOW.
55 comments:
I think you should have another poll...one in which we (the readers) get to vote on who we think should be number 1 on your list!
By the way, JOE CHANDLER, that picture of Audrey Horne (Ms. Fenn) is for you.
Urp, I TOLD YOU.
Urp,
1) I am totally adding Spike from Degrassi to the list (and we can count her from BOTH original and Next Generation!)
2) Oh, gosh, I realize I owe you one for that picture, and I know you love Anne of Green Gables, but I've never seen it, so I'm reluctant to add it. Man oh man, though, I realize I owe you for that pic. So we'll see.
3) You mean Linda Cardellini, who played Lindsay Weir, and she's already on my list, and the fact that she's on your list too bodes well for her chances of making it to the final ten.
4) Did you know that Vinny from Doogie Howser is on The Sopranos???
5) I love Gary Coleman, but I can tell you right now he's not going to make it to my final ten. Probably because he's grown up to become such a weirdo.
6) JO fucking rocks.
7) Okay, I cannot believe that you suggested Vicky the Robot from Small Wonder...but simply because it's such a random crazy character to list, well, that kinda makes me want to put her on the list. Maybe I will make a second list of best Robot Characters from TV shows--because then Vicky woud definitely top the list.
8) Yeah, the Fonz is a cool dude.
9) Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury)?????? What???? Since when are you an 80-year-old woman?
10) Ahhhhhhh, Carlton! He had smooth moves.
and your honorable mention? One of the best characters EVER.
soleclaw, i like the idea of doing another poll, but I'm not so sure about etting readers have the final decision on the #1 slot! Maybe I'll do it like they did it on Rockstar: INXS...they let America vote and then they took America's vote into consideration, but they had the ultimate final decision...
oh. my. god.
okay, i couldn't make it through the whole post, the caps, the length, the all. So, did you have Jason Bateman from "It's your move"- don't remeber his character's name.
OMG I JUST READ ALL THAT STUFF TYPED IN CAPS AND I JUST HAD TO SAY THAT IT WAS REALLY HARD TO READ BUT I READ IT ANYWAY BECAUSE LIKE I SAID BEFORE I AM OBSESSED WITH YOUR BLOG AND WAS SUFFERING FROM WITHDRAWLS AFTER TWO WHOLE DAYS OF NO POSTS!!
Heh. Yeah, that was fun. I'm glad you have Agnes Depesto (sp?) on your list because I loved her!
Anyway, yeah, okay, c-ya.
boom boom, I'm truly sorry that you had to read that whole post with all of the caps. I don't know what was wrong with me.
Dad, i really should publish a book of lists. i need to start collecting them in one place. I used to joke about starting a blog entirely devoted to lists. I'm afraid that My Year of New Things is becoming My Year of New Lists.
Oy.
The gay Violin Teacher on Party of Five.
Uma, I think you're being too hard on Joe.
Jesse, the gay violin teacher on Party of Five was played by Mitchell Anderson, and if I was going to put him on the list, I would pick his character from Doogie Howser, M.D., over his portrayal of the gay violin teacher on Party of Five.
But now you've gotten me thinking about the Salinger siblings...which one was the best character? I'm leaning towards little Claudia (Lacey Chabert).
Whaddya think? (I know you're going to Charlie (Matthew Fox), but come on, Claudia playing the violin at the crash site at the end of the pilot episode????? Oh, man. So good.
Oh, and if I had to pick a Golden Girl, I think I would say that Rose was my favorite. (Betty White ROCKS OUT with her COCK OUT every time she's onscreen.)
hey anonymous game system dude,
what kind of cash are we talking about here?
(why do i feel compelled to comment on EVERY comment, even when the commenter is SPAM???)
Hey Game System dude, since you're commenting on my blog, what are your favorite TV characters?
Hey Erik,
Tarik here. I'm the "the Game System dude" as you have so eloquently named me. Very nice blog!
My favorite TV characters are:
1. Wayne and Garth from SNL
2. Vicky from Small Wonder (Thank you thedarkeruma for reminding me about her.)
3. Charles from Charles in Charge
4. Janice from The Muppet Show
and I gotta disagree with you about the best Golden Girl. It's:
5. Dorothy
all the way, dude.
--Tarik
my 2 sci-fi cents here:
1. Data from Star Trek, The Next Generation
2. Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly (if you like Joss Whedon, this series that lasted 14 episodes is a MUST--i can loan you my DVD set)
I just got the following email from a friend who shall remain nameless:
"that was just the funniest thing that happened ever on your blog of the game systems dude actually responding to your blog and listing the TV shows that he likes. I think I was surprised that he was human and watches TV shows, because I always imagine robots or computer programs or something sending automatic messages to buy stuff. So maybe I'm the only person who would think it was outrageous, but it was pretty funny."
and now I feel guilty because I made up the game system dude. I mean, I didn't make up his original post, the spam one, but then I thought it would be funny to have a dialogue with spam on my blog and so I made up "Tarik".
Consider it my April Fools joke, but one day early. And it's an appropriate April Fools joke because it's not very funny and I had to explain it: just like pretty much every other April Fools joke I've ever done.
Marie-Reine, thank you for putting on your sci-fi hat. I have to admit I've never been a Star Trek geek, but I know enough to give props to Data.
And I've never seen a single episode of Firefly, but i LOVE joss, so I really should rent it.
Talking about sci-fi made me think of The 4400, which I love, and my favorite character from The 4400 would have to be either Jordan Collier or Alana (which I know is random, but I just love her).
And I guess I should consider either Scully or Mulder, but X-Files overstayed its welcome so much that I forget about them.
you scare me. And yes to Claudia.
Jesse, after all of these years, you must already know I'm insane. What could I have possibly said that scared you? (It was making up Tarik, wasn't it?)
*pout* Now my feelings are all hurt because mine was the only post you didn't comment on. You don't love me anymore, do you? Fine! Now I won't take you to Cedar Point with me!! Neener neener neeeeeeeeeenerrrrr!!
OMG REBECCA I AM SO SORRY!!!!!
I swear I THOUGHT that I had commented on your comment!!! Like, I had commented in my HEAD. I am crazy. I am sorry.
I love Agnes too. I miss her. She used to make me smile every Tuesday night. (It WAS Tuesday nights, right?)
my response is coming. trust me. i've just been so busy and this requires so much thought. it's almost impossible.
i'll be here for this though.
p.s. gene wilder has never played a character on tv that i loved so that's out.
Okay, apology accepted. :-)
Hm... I wonder if that's what they mean when they say I'm easy? LOL!
(yes I went for the cheap :-) and LOL)
I can't remember if it was Tuesday nights, but it sure sounds right. Google, anyone?
Anyone who would make up spam on his blog and then have a dialogue with the made-up spammer (new word?) needs to get a life. But don't. The rest of us (if I may speak for other readers/followers/devotees of Erik's blog) are having too much fun and would really miss it if you were too busy living your life to keep up with your blog.
Love,
PAM
PAM, do you have any characters to add to the "list of Best TV characters ever"?
PAM, I didn't post a blog entry for two days because I was busy and for two days all I could think was "I owe my readers a blog entry!"
i DO need to get a life. oh well.
Dear Joe Chandler,
I have faith.
Rebecca, you ARE easy! I still feel bad about not replying to your comment earlier. I mean, not only did i NOT reply to your comment, but i replied to SPAM and then made up a fake person and replied to that fake persons comment. Insult added to injury, or whatever the phrase is.
Marlo Thomas on "That Girl," Patty Duke on "The Patty Duke Show."
You're old.
You're mean.
I know, but I figured you could handle it because you're a punkass.
You figured right.
i vote for: audrey horne, angela chase...
i think you should vote in the midget from carnivale rather than jonesy, particularly because his character in twin peaks was also amazing, and i think if an actor had two amazing roles, his/her chances of getting on the list should be all the better.
what about that girl evie from "out of this world"?
lots of people are fond of the small wonder girl (who has done nothing since btw). i'm more partial to chip from kate & ally (who was on some crime show a few years back - i hate seeing child actors all grown up and ugly!), though of course i wouldn't think of adding him to the list, which just lets you know how far down the small wonder girl would be for me.
i was really partial to the show homicide, so i'd add frank pembleton.
i liked the weird guy on moonlighting better than the weird girl - you know, booger from revenge of the nerds, who wore the best t-shirts ever (like the one that said, "give me head till i'm dead"!!!
this is tinapoppy. sorry for my absence. i've been shopping for a rice cooker.
okay, tina, so would you say Audrey Horne OVER Dale Cooper?
because I'm only allowing one character per television show. which is brutal when you're talking about a show like Twin Peaks with so many amazing characters. i mean, it's seriously difficult. and i was definitely leaning towards Coop over Audrey, but are you putting in a vote for Audrey over Coop?
and i see your point about picking Samson over Jonesy on Carnivale. I loved Carnivale. I'm so mad it wasn't brought back for a third season. Rita Sue was another one of my favorite characters, though she had more of a storyline in the first season than in the second one. Ooooo and Ruthie (Adrienne Barbeau) was great too, in a kinda creepy way.
I've always wished I could stop time by touching the tips of my fingers like Evie could on "Out of This World."
Yeah, the Small Wonder girl is definitely NOT making it onto my top ten list, so no worries there. If I had to choose my favorite "child" character, I think it would have to be Kevin Arnold, hands down, no contest, I didn't even have to think about it.
I don't know why, but Booger from Revenge of the Nerds has always creeped me out and I never liked him on Moonlighting. Like, he literally gave me the heebie jeebies. And I loved the running gag of Agnes Depesto's crazy phone answering jokes, remember those jokes?
(hi tinapoppy! while you were out buying a rice cooker, i wrote a post about the first ten songs that appeared on my ipod shuffle, i'm not sure if you saw it, but you're in the blog entry. xo)
Ya know, I was trying to ignore the fact that you replied to a fake spammer before you replied to me - by all accounts a real person! But you couldn't let me do that... I think I'm going to crawl off and cry in a corner for a while now.
But Rebecca, look at how many MORE comment replies you have received than that dumb old fake spam guy!
See Rebecca, another comment just for you!
Awwwwwww!! Now I feel so special!!
**warm fuzzies**
Oh good, I hated the idea of my comment thread making you cry.
:)
Jesse, I think it's very telling that you have Paige from Degrassi: TNG on your list and I have Emma from Degrassi: TNG on my list.
Joe Chandler, I STILL HAVE FAITH.
Speaking of Faith, Faith from Buffy was a great character.
Dale Cooper over Audrey (although I LOVE Audrey too).
Ruth Fisher over Claire (although I LOVE Claire too), mainly because I've recently been watching the DVDs of *I think* Season 3, where Ruth falls in love with Arthur--Rainn Wilson, who I LOVE as well--and I literally squeal with joy every time they have a scene.
And I'm leaning towards GOB over Tobias, although Tobias has one of my favorite lines EVER in the history of television (the "never-nude" episode where he's got the cut-off shorts on and he asks, "Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?")
Speaking of Survivor, remember Jonny Fairplay? That guy was definitely a Character. I hated his guts, but the dead grandma play was GENIUS.
I think Jack Tripper and Alex P. Keaton DEFINITELY have to be on the top 10 list (especially YOUR top 10 list!).
I also personally love:
- Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm
- John Locke from Lost
- Carmela Soprano from The Sopranos
- Eric Cartman from South Park
- David Brent from The Office (British version)
- Dwight Shrute from The Office (American version)
- The Tick from the animated series The Tick, not to be confused with the short-lived live-action series The Tick, starring Patrick Warburton
(Oh, and Rose is FOR SURE the best Golden Girl!)
Angela,
You're right about Dale Cooper over Audrey. Audrey is a delicious character and she deserves to be on a list of great characters, but if I have to choose only one character from Twin Peaks (and I instituted that dumb rule) then I have to choose Dale Cooper because he's pretty much one of the greatest characters ever (and I won't even listen to people who say that the first season of Twin Peaks rocked and then it fell apart--I think that the second season is just as brilliant as the first season--the only thing that truly doesn't work in the second season is that stupid storyline with James going out of town and getting into trouble with that blonde woman and her brother, and I think the main reason that storyline doesn't work is because it takes place in a town OTHER THAN twin peaks, and, well, who wants to watch non-twin peaks characters on Twin Peaks) (except for Cooper, who is the only non-Twin Peaks character on the show ((until other FBI agents come)) and he's truly the outsider who falls in love with this town). I honestly have no idea what my original point was--I mean, I think I was going to say something specific and then I went off on that tangent about how Twin Peaks is still good in the second season and now I forget where I started. Oh, I think I was just saying that Coop is one of the greatest characters ever (and I think he's going to get the #1 slot on my list) (not to give anything away or anything).
Okay, Ruth vs. Claire. This one is tough for me. I love both of them so fucking much. (Man, I really am a TV junky.) So, Angela, you haven't seen the last few seasons of Six Feet Under yet? I can't remember when Ruthie was falling for Arthur...that was either the third or the fourth season. I don't want to say anything about Six Feet Under because I don't want to give anything away for you. But suffice it to say, you've still got lots of greatness in store.
Regarding the GOB vs. Tobias issue. Tobias has funnier lines of dialogue, but there's something about GOB that I just look at him and I get all giggly. You know? (I am still in mourning that AD is not coming back.) (I still kinda won't let myself believe it.)
Oh, and I forgot about Jonny Fairplay. When he revealed that his grandma wasn't really dead, I literally SCREAMED. I could not believe it. That was an AMAZING moment. He is a sick and twisted god.
Angela, a few other thoughts re: your list:
- Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm
YES, YES, YES, brilliant. My favorite episode is the one where he gets suckered into going to the incest survivors help group. Oh. My. GOD. And the one where he hires that prostitute so he can drive in the carpool lane??!??? Brilliance.
- John Locke from Lost
I'm frustrated with Lost right now. I haven't watched the last two episodes (they're on my Tivo) because I want something to happen. I feel like they keep dancing around revelations and they pretend to reveal things but they don't really, you know? But John Locke is definitely the best character on Lost.
- Carmela Soprano from The Sopranos
(How embarrassed am I to admit that I have never seen an episode of The Sopranos.) (Okay, actually, that's a lie, I've seen one episode, and it was great, and I want to watch this show, but I need to rent them from the beginning and gorge, you know?)
- Eric Cartman from South Park
Fucking A.
- David Brent from The Office (British version)
I was given the entire British version of the Office on DVD for Xmas, but I haven't watched it yet. I literally have never seen even 1 second of this show. But I know I've got a really entertaining marathon in my (near) future.
- Dwight Shrute from The Office (American version)
I refuse to watch the American version unti after I've seen the British version.
And Rose is so funny. There would not have been a Phoebe if Rose had not come first.
How could I forget CHERRY from Punky Brewster????
And I am sad to say that I was obsessed with Alf throughout most of my childhood, though there is no way he would make my Top Ten list. (Top 100, however, is another story.)
Okay, just quickly...
Totally agree with you re: Lost. Have been SUPER frustrated lately. But the last episode (which was about Locke) got me excited again cuz some CRAZY ASS SHIT went down. But if they don't deliver on the set-up in the next episode (which might be today?), I'm seriously gonna scream at the TV.
(PS. I am so embarrassed I've never watched an episode of "My So-Called Life"!)
Angela, okay, I will probably watch the last two Lost episode and tonight's episode on my Tivo over the weekend and I will let you know what I think, hopefully they will continue to deliver on last weeks ep.
And I own the entire series of My So-Called Life on DVD, which I would be so very happy to loan to you because YOU MUST WATCH IT. I mean, I know for a fact that you will totally and completely fucking love it.
uhm...hello?
Cherry Peck much?
she tucks her dick to hook up with straight dudes, gets some cock, gets beat up, gets a makeover, gets brutalized in a basement (in miami...i know. who heard of that?) and then kills a nazi with a shovel.
Cherry Peck.
That is all.
Dear Cherry Peck,
Okay, so I'm coming out and admitting that I've never seen Nip/Tuck, but the fact that an actual real-life TV character added herself to my list, well, I'm definitely on my way to the video store to start with episode one and watch all the way through so that I can add you to my list.
I'm sure that when I watch your show, you'll totally be on my list.
However. You've inspired a new list.
BEST TV CHARACTERS EVER ON SHOWS THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN:
1. Cherry Peck from Nip/Tuck
2. Carmella from The Sopranos
3. Swearingin (sp?) from Deadwood (I know I'm going to have to take this one off the list very soon--I have both seasons on my Tivo)
4. Spock from Star Trek
5. um...I can't think of any other TV shows that I've never seen. I watch too much TV.
has anyone said nicki henrickson (chloe sevigny) from "big love"? she's got to be like, top 10.
Last!
{I thought of it first, no one else is allowed to do it, it's mine}
By the way, Erik, these "{" things are called braces. Pretty anti-climactic huh? Almost as anti-climactic as being the first person to invent "Last!"
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