Goodbye Fresh Meat

Okay, since tonight’s the finale of MTV’s Fresh Meat, I feel like I should do some mild live-blogging of it. I’m not actually watching it live right now, I’m watching it on my Tivo, so I’m sticking with my tradition of not really live live-blogging.

I’m still sad and upset that Derrick and Diem got kicked off the show last week, but I’ll just have to get over it. Unfortunately, now that Derrick and Diem are gone, I’m not really rooting for anyone. I kinda like Tina and Kenny, but I kinda hate them too because Tina was all “get your anorexic ass away from me” to Diem last week and I wanted Diem to scream back that she had a fucking “cancer ass, thank you very much,” but she didn’t, and so Tina never got her comeuppance for being such an asshole. So I don’t want them to win. And I think Derrell and Aviv seem like great people and they probably deserve to win, but honestly, they’re kind of boring, and Derrell just said that he’s been on four of these shows and he won the first three he was on and he wants to go “four for four” and now I’m like, “girlfriend, you’ve already won enough” and “that’s too many consecutive words that sound like “four.”

So that leaves Wes and Casey. And I hate to admit that I’m actually rooting for them now. Because I fucking hate Wes. He’s a misogynistic asshole. But there’s something to be said for the fact that he’s still here after going into exile so many times, and Casey certainly deserves to win a shitload of cash (250,000 clams) for putting up with Wes this whole time.

Anyway, here we go, the exile is about to begin:

Holy crap. They have to run TEN MILES for their final exile mission, including competing puzzles and going through obstacles and possibly carrying lots of weight and even being tied together and there are lots more rules, but as always, the rules on this game are so freaking complicated.

Wes is still being a dick with Casey. Even though I’m rooting for them, I’m not going to ever mention the fact that he’s a dick anymore because I hate the negativity.

(Hey, BonBon, are you reading this? Total sidenote—not at all related to Fresh Meat—do you watch Grey’s Anatomy and comment on a messageboard about it? Because I was reading a messageboard today and was reading someone’s comment that made several comparisons to Grey’s and 90210 and I was like “this feels like BonBon,” and then I looked at the name of the commenter and I forget what the name was but it had the word “cricket” in it and I was like…IS THIS BONBON?!?!?)

Back to Fresh Meat:

Ten miles. Shit. I would die.

Oh my god they have to run through the water right now “and the race has just started,” Tina just said with so much attitude.

Okay, wow, they all failed the first puzzle and now they all have to carry hundreds of thousands of pounds…except for Darrell and Aviv who only have to carry 50 pounds. Shit.

Tina and Kenny are in the lead right now. Casey and Wes are in last place. I’m not feeling it for them right now. When do they film their testimonials? They’re talking about the race, so these testimonials were all filmed after the race was over. How weird. They have to talk about the race as if they’re still in the middle of it and they don’t know who wins, but they’re already done.

Holy shit, now they have to carry each other WHILE carrying hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Wow, I’m really mad at MTV right now, Wes just mentioned that Casey’s fucking weak and he’s carried her the whole game, and then they showed this montage of clips as if to prove that Wes was right, but who would ever want to run when they have Wes calling them a bitch the whole time?

I thing I just saw a random Australian walking on the beach. I’m sure he was like, “crikey, why is that mate with the Mohawk calling that boinker a bitch?” (He probably didn’t say boinker, I just can’t think of an Australian slang word for “girl” right now.)

Didn’t Steve Irwin popularize the word “crikey?” His unexpected death was so, so sad.

Darrell and Aviv just aced their second test and they got to drop all of their weight and they’re totally going to win this thing. Okay, they won. I guess I’m happy for them. They’re definitely the nicest people and the strongest and they deserved it. But this was kinda anticlimactic.

Wes and Casey came in third and they look SO beaten. Hey, you still won 10,000 bucks a piece. And now Casey’s crying that she “really, really let Wes down.” Come on, Casey! He should give you HIS 10,000 for how badly he treated you.

Goodbye, Fresh Meat.

UPDATE: I was just looking at my statcounter, at the searches that have led people to my blog today, and most of them are Fresh Meat related, one of which is outrageous. Check it out:

1. mtv fresh meat spoilers
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Okay, now, I'm cool with the search for Coral's boobs, and I wish I could help you, bud, but what the fuck is up with someone googling number 26? That one's just whack.

My favorite search is one of the few non-Fresh Meat related searches, number 35.

Oh, and for all the people out there would want Fresh Meat spoilers: Derrell and Aviv freaking won, didn't you read the rest of this entry?

Oh, and JENNY: (this is totally NOT related to Fresh Meat) after watching this week's reality episode of Rockstar online, I'm not rooting for Dilana anymore. There's no way she's gonna win. She's gone too far cuckoo. Now I'm rooting for sexy sexy Toby.