Monday, September 04, 2006

Goodbye Fresh Meat

Okay, since tonight’s the finale of MTV’s Fresh Meat, I feel like I should do some mild live-blogging of it. I’m not actually watching it live right now, I’m watching it on my Tivo, so I’m sticking with my tradition of not really live live-blogging.

I’m still sad and upset that Derrick and Diem got kicked off the show last week, but I’ll just have to get over it. Unfortunately, now that Derrick and Diem are gone, I’m not really rooting for anyone. I kinda like Tina and Kenny, but I kinda hate them too because Tina was all “get your anorexic ass away from me” to Diem last week and I wanted Diem to scream back that she had a fucking “cancer ass, thank you very much,” but she didn’t, and so Tina never got her comeuppance for being such an asshole. So I don’t want them to win. And I think Derrell and Aviv seem like great people and they probably deserve to win, but honestly, they’re kind of boring, and Derrell just said that he’s been on four of these shows and he won the first three he was on and he wants to go “four for four” and now I’m like, “girlfriend, you’ve already won enough” and “that’s too many consecutive words that sound like “four.”

So that leaves Wes and Casey. And I hate to admit that I’m actually rooting for them now. Because I fucking hate Wes. He’s a misogynistic asshole. But there’s something to be said for the fact that he’s still here after going into exile so many times, and Casey certainly deserves to win a shitload of cash (250,000 clams) for putting up with Wes this whole time.

Anyway, here we go, the exile is about to begin:

Holy crap. They have to run TEN MILES for their final exile mission, including competing puzzles and going through obstacles and possibly carrying lots of weight and even being tied together and there are lots more rules, but as always, the rules on this game are so freaking complicated.

Wes is still being a dick with Casey. Even though I’m rooting for them, I’m not going to ever mention the fact that he’s a dick anymore because I hate the negativity.

(Hey, BonBon, are you reading this? Total sidenote—not at all related to Fresh Meat—do you watch Grey’s Anatomy and comment on a messageboard about it? Because I was reading a messageboard today and was reading someone’s comment that made several comparisons to Grey’s and 90210 and I was like “this feels like BonBon,” and then I looked at the name of the commenter and I forget what the name was but it had the word “cricket” in it and I was like…IS THIS BONBON?!?!?)

Back to Fresh Meat:

Ten miles. Shit. I would die.

Oh my god they have to run through the water right now “and the race has just started,” Tina just said with so much attitude.

Okay, wow, they all failed the first puzzle and now they all have to carry hundreds of thousands of pounds…except for Darrell and Aviv who only have to carry 50 pounds. Shit.

Tina and Kenny are in the lead right now. Casey and Wes are in last place. I’m not feeling it for them right now. When do they film their testimonials? They’re talking about the race, so these testimonials were all filmed after the race was over. How weird. They have to talk about the race as if they’re still in the middle of it and they don’t know who wins, but they’re already done.

Holy shit, now they have to carry each other WHILE carrying hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Wow, I’m really mad at MTV right now, Wes just mentioned that Casey’s fucking weak and he’s carried her the whole game, and then they showed this montage of clips as if to prove that Wes was right, but who would ever want to run when they have Wes calling them a bitch the whole time?

I thing I just saw a random Australian walking on the beach. I’m sure he was like, “crikey, why is that mate with the Mohawk calling that boinker a bitch?” (He probably didn’t say boinker, I just can’t think of an Australian slang word for “girl” right now.)

Didn’t Steve Irwin popularize the word “crikey?” His unexpected death was so, so sad.

Darrell and Aviv just aced their second test and they got to drop all of their weight and they’re totally going to win this thing. Okay, they won. I guess I’m happy for them. They’re definitely the nicest people and the strongest and they deserved it. But this was kinda anticlimactic.

Wes and Casey came in third and they look SO beaten. Hey, you still won 10,000 bucks a piece. And now Casey’s crying that she “really, really let Wes down.” Come on, Casey! He should give you HIS 10,000 for how badly he treated you.

Goodbye, Fresh Meat.

UPDATE: I was just looking at my statcounter, at the searches that have led people to my blog today, and most of them are Fresh Meat related, one of which is outrageous. Check it out:

1. mtv fresh meat spoilers
2. mtv fresh meat winners
3. fresh meat spoilers
4. mtv fresh meat
5. diem from fresh meat myspace
6. mtv fresh meat spoiler
7. fresh meat who wins spoiler mtv
8. gilbey clark supernova
9. casey from mtv's real world road rules challenge full name
10. who wins fresh meat challenge mtv spoiler
11. derrick's from fresh meat myspace
12. winners of mtv fresh meat
13. fresh meat diem
14. mtv fresh meat challenge winners
15. who won mtv's fresh meat
16. winners of fresh meat challenge
17. mtv diem cancer
18. mtv fresh meat blog
19. fresh meat spoiler who wins
20. fresh meat mtv winners spoilers
21. who won fresh meat mtv
22. derrick and diem brown
23. winners mtv fresh meat
24. fresh meat episodes
25. who won mtvs fresh meat?
26. derrick diem pretending to have cancer
27. derrick and diem dating
28. coral and evan on the aftershow
29. mtv's fresh meat spoiler who won?
30. mtv fresh meat winners posts
31. who won on mtv's fresh meat
32. who wins mtv fresh meat?
33. what happen of mtvs fresh meat
34. fresh meat spoilers winners
35. crazy boys try new things
36. tj lavin girlfriend mtv
37. casey mtv fresh meat
38. fresh meat spoiler
39. mtv fresh meat derrick diem
40. who won fresh meat on mtv
41. fresh meat coral
42. coral boobs
43. mtv's fresh meat cast
44. mtv's fresh meat
45. real world fresh meat spoiler
46. who won mtv fresh meat?

Okay, now, I'm cool with the search for Coral's boobs, and I wish I could help you, bud, but what the fuck is up with someone googling number 26? That one's just whack.

My favorite search is one of the few non-Fresh Meat related searches, number 35.

Oh, and for all the people out there would want Fresh Meat spoilers: Derrell and Aviv freaking won, didn't you read the rest of this entry?

Oh, and JENNY: (this is totally NOT related to Fresh Meat) after watching this week's reality episode of Rockstar online, I'm not rooting for Dilana anymore. There's no way she's gonna win. She's gone too far cuckoo. Now I'm rooting for sexy sexy Toby.


jenny said...

What!?!? You're breaking up with Dilana?

Now I cannot WAIT to see tonight's episode... what could she possibly have done to fall out of favor with you?!

I ::heart:: Toby.

christy said...

Since I vowed to not watch Fresh Meat again until Wes got kicked off, I never did.

I'm kind of sad Casey didn't win, because she really DOES deserve $250,000 (okay, more)

I bet Wes was all like, "that fucking bitch good-for-nothing Casey totally screwed me out of my prize money!"

But hopefully her making it to the finale and putting up with Wes and being cute will ensure her a return MTV reality competition appearance at which time she can be paired with someone who isn't such a huge, ugly asshole and win THEN.

I would definitely tune into see Casey's Revenge.

And I think it would be totally funny if not likely that that chick who was the cocky 18 year old athlete who did major smack-talking and got voted off the first episode DOES end up on Girls Gone Wild.

christy said...

why is there a handicapped sign next to the word verifier?

(which by the way, my last word was 'wownmack')

christy said...

that word was 'gafxuyfb'

way harder to remember.

joe chandler said...

erik - i thought of you when i saw this...

jenny said...

Why haven't you been live blogging Rockstar this season instead of Fresh Meat? I don't even know what Fresh Meat is - must be on cable.

SOOOOO much to talk about! I. LOVE. TOBY. oh oh, oh oh, oh oh!

Dilana might go tomorrow, but probably Storm.

Toby + Jenny = 4EVS

Annie said...

Erik Patterson, your Fresh Meat live blog has made the world a better place. I came back to school the last week of August so I missed the finale, and I was a little sad that I wouldn't get to see it through to the bitter end. Then when I checked out your blog this morning and saw a Fresh Meat live blog...well, it made my day. Thank you, sir, for thinking of people like me who couldn't be there.

Erik said...

oh, annie! that was the nicest comment ever. and i totally felt like this final fresh meat blog was inadequate. i am SO glad that wasn't the case and that it provided the VERY NECESSARY (i now realize) service of providing you with the recap!

big xo.