Remember how I was craaaaaaving chocolate last night while I was watching Fresh Meat? Well, I didn't get any chocolate last night, and I didn't get any this morning, and I didn't get any this afternoon, and then, just now, I was like, I NEED SOME FREAKING CHOCOLATE.So I went to the gas station that's right around the corner from Jessica's house (I'm dogsitting Jessica's dog Orson) and I noticed on the shelf AN ENTIRE BAG of Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Mini-bars. Like, heaven, right?
So I bought the chocolate, but I think the guy who works at the gas station used me to get away with a tiny little scam. Here's what happened:
The bag of chocolates wouldn't scan. He tried to scan it over and over again, but it just wouldn't scan. Then he typed in the bar code number, but the number didn't come up. I was like, "dude, you gotta sell me the chocolates. I need these chocolates."
And he was like, "it's not scanning."
And then I was like, "dude."
And then he was like, "it's not scanning."
And then I was like, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, CAN'T YOU JUST ENTER IT IN AS MISCELLANEOUS AND ENTER A FIGURE--ANY FIGURE, I DON'T CARE, I WILL PAY ANYTHING FOR CHOCOLATE NOW."
And then he was like, "okay," and we agreed that the bag of chocolates probably cost $2.99, but then he paused for a beat and said "that'll be three dollars," and I was like, "what's a cent?" and I paid and then I left with my glorious chocolates (which I am feasting on as I type this).
But after I left the gas station, I looked at my receipt, which read:
Lottery -- $1.00
Lottery -- $1.00
Lottery -- $1.00
And I think the gas station guy just used my three bucks to buy himself three lottery tickets, which, if that's true, would mean that I'm technically eating stolen chocolate right now (because I didn't pay for the chocolates--I paid for his lottery tickets). And I bet the gas station guy'll win a million dollars on Friday, and I hope he does--I'm sure he needs it as much as I needed this chocolate right freaking now.
We're both winners!
10 comments:
First!!!
And I've never even left a comment before!!
This is your brother Josh by the way erik
Josh! You fucking rock. I had no idea you were reading the blog. I mean, I knew you knew about it, but I didn't know you were reading. Awesome. I'll see you at Mike's graduation on Thursday!
And you should feel proud that your first comment ever was a "first" comment. That's, like, how the pros do it.
If I have to lose the chocolate blog first to anyone, I am glad it's family.
xo
Lindsay
Lindsay, I feel sick right now. I have eaten SO MUCH CHOCOLATE since I posted this blog entry.
And, ridiculously, I am still eating the chocolate. Even though I feel so sick right now.
But it's chocolate!
haha after our conversation Sunday:
"I need to lose ten pounds."
"I need to lose thirty pounds."
I ate half a bag of chocolate chips today!
And you ate a (whole bag?) of chocolate!!
We are hopeless!
Seriously, Eleanor, are you in Michigan?
my pics still don't work at all :(
it is significantly impacting my desire to blog.
I felt the same way about Deadwood and I have to interview Ian McShane for the new Woody Allen movie so I caught an ep the other night. The first line I heard was: "Bitch doesn't like the c*nt grab. I get it. Hands off the p*ssy." I was like: WHAAAAAAAAA?
(It's Jenelle, btw, I don't have a password so I'm being ANONYMOUS...)
Jenelle--he's fucking great, that Ian McShane. I was watching the Kathy Griffin reality show the other day and Kathy was at an awards show and she started talking to Jane Seymore (is it Seymoure?) (Seemore?) (nooooo, that's not right) and Ian McShane was also standing there, and I think Kathy was about to say something to him, but he so totally gave her the cold shoulder, which (1) no one should do to Kathy, because she's so funny, but (2) I LOVE that Ian McShane would give her the cold shoulder because it's SO something that his character Swerengen would fucking do, and, anyway, I hope the new Woody Allen movie is good.
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