New Thing #92: Last night, I drove up the coast for absolutely no reason, just to drive. I've never done that before. I needed to do some thinking, to clear my head, so at midnight I got in the car and drove for four hours (well, two hours up and two hours back), way past Malibu, just driving, thinking, listening to Death Cab for Cutie and Regina Spektor on my ipod, my windows open, the ocean air running through my hair, these huge dark waves crashing into the beach as my car raced past. I thought of pulling over and going skinny-dipping in the ocean--because that would have been something I've never done before--but I decided against it because I couldn't find a good place to park and the waves were really, really big and I got nervous that they might kill me and I wasn't in the mood to, like, disappear and then be discovered naked and dead on the beach. That's just too Laura Palmer and it's not for me.
But even without the skinny-dipping, the drive was a really good thing to do. I needed it last night. There's something really therapeutic about just driving and last night, after driving for four hours, when I finally got home, I slept the soundest sleep because I'd done this really good thing for my soul.
Also--(PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE SIX FEET UNDER SERIES FINALE, EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU'LL NEVER WATCH IT, BECAUSE IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT AND YOU DON'T THINK YOU EVER WILL, THAT MEANS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE SHOW AT ALL AND YOU SHOULD GET OVER YOURSELF AND GO RENT IT BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING GOOD AND I'M ABOUT TO MAKE AN ALLUSION TO THE LAST MOMENTS OF THE SERIES AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO RUIN THEM FOR YOU. SO JUST SKIP AHEAD. I'M SERIOUS.)--at one point in the drive, Sia's song "Breathe Me" started playing on my ipod (and when I say "started playing on my ipod," I mean that I selected it) and I pretended I was Claire Fisher and (I know this is really morbid, but) I felt like I was recreating that last moment of the series, like I was Claire just driving off to god knows where (okay, in Claire's case, she knew she was driving to New York, but she didn't know what she was going to do when she got there), and because I was thinking of those last few moments of Six Feet Under, I started to imagine (and this is the morbid thing) how all of my loved ones were going to die and I sat there in my car, driving and crying, and then the song ended and stopped crying and I wasn't Claire anymore, I was just me again, driving, clearing my head.
New Thing #93: So I didn't get to go skinny dipping in the middle of the night, but at one point during my drive I really had to pee, and so I pulled over by this cliff and I peed off the cliff and I'm counting that as a New Thing because I've never peed off of a cliff before and it felt really weird to pee and feel like the pee wasn't landing anywhere. That's a really weird observation / new thing, but whatever, I acknowledged that it's weird and now I'm just going to let it be. (Holly cow, though, I just realized that I talked about pee, which means I am going to get so many "pee" google search hits in the next couple of days.) (I honestly don't understand people's fascination with pee.) (But every few days, a google "pee" search inevitably lands someone on my blog.) (Which is even weirder than my observation about it feeling really weird to not feel my pee landing anywhere.) ("Pee" is such a juvenile word, but I can't say "urinate" because that sounds even weirder than "pee.") (Why am I still talking about this?) (I just drank a Coca-Cola, that's why.) (It's past midnight and I just drank a Coca-Cola and it amped me up.) (Holly crap.)