Thursday, January 26, 2006

New Thing #22: My night of evesdropping on Michael Patrick King

I'm almost done reading Evan Handler's book Time on Fire. (If the name doesn't ring a bell, maybe the face will; Evan Handler played Harry Goldenblatt, the bald Jewish lawyer who married Charlotte, on Sex and the City.) I've been reading the book one chapter at a time because I'm a hypochondriac and there's only so much I can read about someone's harrowing bout with cancer before I start to freak out.

(I can hear you now: why's it always gotta be about you, Erik? Just read the man's damn book and let it be about him fer cryin' out loud.)

Anyway, to go back to making it about me for a minute, reading this book makes me thank my lucky stars I do not have a-certain-thing-that-I-won't-even-name-because-I-don't-want-to-jinx-myself. It also makes me question the whole hypochondria thing. Why do I put myself through all of this worry? Honestly. Why does every headache--every toothache--every muscle spasm--have to portend something else?

Why can't a pimple just be a pimple?

It's pointless to worry about all of the bad things that I (probably, most likely) don't have. Instead, I should just focus on enjoying all of the wonderful things I do have. Like my family. And my friends. And my Garbage Pail Kids collection. (Which is 100 percent complete--I still have all 1,240 of them--in mint condition, thank you very much! And I do not care that after all of these years, they have zero monetary value. They are the last remaining vestiges of my childhood and I will never sell them. All I have to do is look at one of the cards and suddenly I am a twelve-year-old again, sitting at the back of the bus on the way to school, trading "Tooth Les" for "Greta Garbage," and feeling so much cooler than all of the kids on the bus because I understand all of the titular Garbage Pail Kid puns and they probably only understand some of them.) You know, I should be happy for things like that.

Queen Latifah knows a thing or two about appreciating your blessings, at least she does in her new movie Last Holiday, in which she plays a woman named Georgia Byrd who spends her whole life waiting for something good to happen and then finds out she only has three weeks to live and then finally decides to have some frigging fun.

I like movies where the moral of the story is to buck up and have some frigging fun. These movies make me think about my hypochondria and how frigging stupid it is. I mean, frig.

So, last night, while having dinner with my friend Jesse, I decided I wanted to go see this new Queen Latifah flick. When I told Jesse of my desire, he quickly jumped on board the "let's see a movie" train, but he poo-pooed the Last Holiday suggestion. He wanted to see something else. And then we spent literally an hour trying to decide what movie to see. (I swear to God.) (We fought over what movie to see for an hour.) (An hour!) (Yeah, I know.)

The problem was that Jesse had already seen all of the "good" movies I wanted to see. Good Night and Good Luck? Jesse had already seen it. Syriana? Jesse had already seen that one, too. Walk the Line? Jesse thinks I should see it, but he won't go again. Squid and the Whale? Jesse thinks I should see that one too, and he would probably see it again, but not tonight.

Okay, fine, if we can't see a "good" movie, then I want to see a "bad" movie. You know, trash. Last Holiday.

No, says Jesse. Nuh-uh. Not gonna do it.

But you've seen everything else, I try to tell him. Let's see Last Holiday.

No way.

Give me five valid reasons you don't want to see it.

And on and on and on, etc., etc., etc.

This argument then went on for practically literally another three hours.

(I know, Jesse, you think I'm taking this too far, but it's MY blog for crying out loud, let me wax rhapsodic if I want to.)

(I accidentally typed "rhypsodic" and then I had to mention it because doesn't the word "rhypsodic" look cool? I mean, look at it. Really look at it. There's something psychadellically dyslexic about it. Like the word itself is on shrooms or something.)

Anyway, blah blah blah, the point is, Jesse totally under-no-circumstances-ever, completely and utterly did not want to see Last Holiday. No matter how much I tried to convince him it would be mindless fun. No matter that he was not suggesting any alternatives. No matter that we were running out of time to see a movie before the night ended. No matter nothing.

So I pulled out the big guns. I told Jesse he was ruining my fun. No, worse than that: he was being a cockblock. Wait, no, even worse: HE WAS DESTROYING MY LIFE.

(Which is maybe an eensy bit melodramatic, but Jesse is one of my oldest, dearest friends--we've known each other since the onset of puberty, or thereabouts--and even when I'm a complete and total drama queen, I know that, no matter what, he will take my call the next day.)

Finally, he agreed to go to the movie, but only if I bought him a coke. Done. Deal.

So then we went to the Grove. Now, I totally have a hate/love relationship with the Grove. (Notice how I put the word "hate" before the word "love"?)

Let me break it down:

I hate the Grove because it's annoying, but I love the Grove because it feels like "magic" (and I put the word "magic" in quotes because it feels like manufactured magic, like the back lot of Universal Studios or Main Street at Disneyland).

I hate the Grove because there are always so many people there, but I love the Grove because every time I go there I see someone from The Real World. (Cast in point: last night I saw Norman from season one! O.G. in the house!)

I hate the Grove because there's never any parking, but I love the Grove because...

Last night at the Grove I got to evesdrop on Michael Patrick King, Executive Producer (and God) of Sex and the City. True story. Now, if you didn't already know, I love Sex and the City. One of the best shows ever. And seeing Michael Patrick King at the Grove was like seeing Santa Clause--someone who is responsible for bringing you so many great gifts that he's too good to be true and you're certain the naysayers must be right--he can't really exist--but you still believe, and then, when you see him, it's like magic without the quotation marks.

This was my second encounter with someone from the Sex and the City universe. The first one was with the aforementioned Evan Handler, who played Harry Goldenblatt, the bald Jewish lawyer who married Charlotte, and who wrote Time on Fire, the book I'm reading right now. (Evan Handler, not Harry Goldenblatt.) I have this writing group that I go to on Tuesday nights, which Evan Handler also sometimes goes to. The first time he was there, I totally flipped out. I had a new scene that was being read, but instead of paying attention to my scene, all I could think while they read it was: "Oh my god, Harry, the fictional love of my life, is here. He's really here. He's here--right there. Look at him! That's him. And he's listening to my scene. Right now. Oh my god, Harry, the bald Jewish man that I love, is listening to something I wrote, holy crap I can't breathe."

Afterwards, as I was leaving, I walked past Evan Handler, and he nodded in my direction and said, "nice scene."

My reply? "I'm in love with you and I want to have your Chinese baby."

Okay, actually, no--I wish I said that--but my real reply was something along the lines of "thanks" or gurgle.

Maybe I like him so much because I'm a Charlotte. Do you know what I mean? Do you play that game? Where you decide which character you and your friends are on your favorite shows? It's super easy to do with Sex and the City because the four main characters are so easily broken down into types--you're either a Charlotte (a romantic), a Samantha (a slut), a Miranda (a cynic), or a Carrie (a realist, romantic, cynical slut). The one unifying trait of all four types is that everyone is searching for love. That's the thing that ties us all together.

You can play this game with other shows, too. (For example, I'm also a Phoebe, a Brian Krakow, a Sam Weir, and a Kramer/Jerry.) But Sex and the City is the best, and in the Sex and the City scenario, I'm a Charlotte.

But that's not the point. (What is the point?) Ah, yes, the point is that last night at the Grove, Michael Patrick King, Executive Producer (and God) of Sex and the City, sat right in front of us at Last Holiday, and I got to evesdrop on him.

I have to admit, I didn't really hear much, but here are the highlights:

During the preview for Failure to Launch starring Sarah Jessica Parker, he said "That's my girl!" (This is a lie, he didn't actually say anything during the preview, but he did smile and nod his head several times, and I know that because my head was about to explode when I realized I was sitting behind the creator of Sex and the City while he watched a preview of a movie starring the star of Sex and the City. My head was like, too...much...sugar.)

About ten minutes into the movie, he leaned over to one of his friends and said, incredulously: "A department store with a cat scan machine?" (He actually did say this, and Jesse and I were both like, our thoughts exactly!)

And then, then he, okay, that's actually the only thing I heard him say with any clarity.

But he seemed to enjoy the movie, and after about twenty minutes I forgot he was even there because I enjoyed the movie as well. I learned that it's never too late to count your blessings. It's never too late to make your life good. It's never too late to stop worrying about things like whether or not a bloody nose means you have brain cancer and to start having fun.

I also learned that if you're ever told you only have three weeks to live, then you should liquidate all of your assets and get as far away from your real life as possible and eat deliciously-filmed food with Gerard Depardieu. Unfortunately, if I liquidated all of my assets, I think I'd only be able to get as far as the Beverly Center, but I hear there are a lot of nice Jewish men in that neighborhood, and maybe I'd find my own Harry Goldenblatt, a nice Jewish lawyer who's proud of his back hair and who wants to make Chinese babies with me until the day that I die.


Jesse said...

Starfucker who?

the shorter story... said...

although this blog had me lmao, i have to admit i was left speechless at the thought of jesse being a "cockblock." now, i don't know jesse (hi jesse, if you're reading this) but that has got to be one of the best words i have ever heard and i would like your permission to use it. although, you probably didn't coin the phrase so i don't know why i'm asking for your permission :) we'll just consider it more of an "FYI"...

Erik said...

oh, goodness, no, I did not by any means coin the word "cockblock"! Have at it. Use it. It already belongs to the world.

Here's what the urban slang dictionary has to say about it. However, I find their definition to be obsessed with sex; I think the term has taken on a life of its own and doesn't necessarily have to refer to situations of a sexual nature. Anyone who stops someone from getting something they want could be called a cockblocker, imho.

the shorter story... said...

that was pretty much how i took it...not in a sexual way. too funny, though. love it!

Jesse said...

I am no cock block!

I am The Cock Rock!

Anonymous said...

but of course, I'm miranda...


Erik said...

Jesse, I'm not even gonna go there!

and Urp, Urp, Urp: I coulda told you that you were Miranda. I didn't need a quiz to help me figure that one out!

Erik said...


that said, i went ahead and took the test myself and of course it said i was charlotte. i love how the person who made the test apologizes at the beginning by warning that english isn't their first language and then they spell condoms like "condooms." that made me laugh.

Erik said...

Urp, now I am addicted to that quiz website...

It said I'm Dale Cooper!

"You're Special Agent Dale Cooper. You're often too brilliant for people to really follow, but your infectious enthusiasm makes up for the fact that you're frequently incomprehensible. You are smart, intuitive, clear-headed, compassionate, and cute as hell -- about your only flaw is your insane coffee consumption."

Now, as much as i WANT to be Special Agent Dale Cooper, I think that the quiz pegged me wrong. Coop was much more zen than I will ever be. I think I'm more of a Sheriff Truman type. With a dash of Deputy Andy Brennan. (Just a dash.)

Erik said...

Okay, some of the quizzes on that website are super shady. It said that I'm Willow, but I am so totally NOT Willow. I'm Spike. (Just kidding.) I think I'm Anya.

Jesse said...

there is discussion Gina's blog you need to partake in.

Joe Chandler said...

Erik, you're definitely coop. It's all about the enthusiasm. You're nowhere near Truman. I'm Josie Packard, or Sherilyn Fenn. Wait, I mispoke, I'm Josie Packard and I really want to date Sherilyn Fenn.

Erik said...

Joe, do you really think I'm Coop? Because if you do, then I totally feel like Helen Hunt at the end of As Good As It Gets when she and Jack Nicholson are in that restaurant and he says the thing that he says to her (let's pretend he told her that she was like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks) and then Helen Hunt (that's me in this scenario) turns to Jack (that's you, Joe) and she says: "That's maybe the best compliment I've ever gotten in my life."

Bonnie said...

OMG, that was seriously the best, most tangent-filled, lovely-returned-to-the-point blogging followed by some of the most fun comments EVER!

And I wonder if we've crossed paths at Tuesdays @9. Hmm. I used to go quite a bit in mid-2004.

Oh, AND, at the last local election, I walked up to my voting location (a church/school cafetorium or auditeria or whatever) and who was coming outside? Yup. Evan Handler. I giggled and tugged on my hubby's arm and said, "OMG! I want to have his Asian Baby!"

Hubby, being a former Marine, lifetime member of the NRA, republican (and therefore never having seen all of the TV shows my friends and I adore) nodded politely and said, "Honey, neither of you is Asian."


Okay, so now my comment is as long as your entry. Loving your year of new things. Keep up the fun!

Anonymous said...

check out my myspace to see who i am....i love being a geek.


Erik said...

Joe--do you really think you're Josie Packard? She was pretty damn tortured. And Audrey Horne is smokin'. (Sherilyn Fenn has a recurring role on Gilmore Girls right now, by the way.)

Bonnie--I wonder if we've met at Tuesdays@Nine? I started going in August of 2004. I love that you want to have Asian babies with Evan Handler too. We should all have Asian babies with Evan Handler. Well, actually...maybe not...I mean, Evan Handler seems like a very cool guy, and I'm sure if I got to know him I'd want to have a whole bushel of Asian babies with him, but the truth is I really want to have Asian babies with Harry Greenblatt. Is that psycho that a fictional character is so real to me? Real is the wrong word, because I understand that he's fictional--I guess, it's like that Santa Clause thing I was saying...I want Harry Greenblatt to be real because he was such a great character, so I guess that's a compliment to the writers and the actor.

Oh, also, Bonnie, I said it once (to you, on your blog) and I'm gonna say it again, here, now, because I mean it: Watch Grey's Anatomy. Rent the first season, then ask me what you missed in the 1st half of the second season and I will try to fill you in, then start watching the second season midway. Or wait until the second season comes out on DVD. Do one of those things. I can tell from the little I know of you that Grey's should be one of those shows you and your friends watch and adore. Just my gut instinct.

And Urp--I don't think you're the Giant in Twin Peaks. Actually, now that I think about it, I think you're Audrey Horne! (Watch out for Joe!)

Bonnie said...

1. One time, just before sweet CoCo (yes, Colleen lets me call her CoCo) revamped her blog site, I had made a comment that is no longer there about how comments are the new email. No one even emails anymore, since comments are much more, "Hey, I'm reading you. I'm keeping up with you. I'm checking in on you," than emails will ever be.

This exchange... case in point.

2. You said: "I wonder if we've met at Tuesdays@Nine? I started going in August of 2004."

I think that would make it way quite likely. My first time was in July 2004, right after Subhash had introduced me to Blake, who would become my writing partner on my third book. Many of the actors we interviewed for the book were from Naked Angels (both coasts). And I loved loved loved so much of what I saw read at Tuesdays@9. My scary republican not-at-that-moment-hubby has read a few times. Even went on to do full-on productions with a few of the folk. Good stuffs. As with most Hollywood criss-cross, I'm guessing we've met, will meet, will dream we've met... all of it. ;)


4. You said: "I love that you want to have Asian babies with Evan Handler too. We should all have Asian babies with Evan Handler."

Shouldn't we?!? See, I've always craved an Asian baby, but I'm not too into having sex with Asian men. So bizarre, since I'm usually such an equal-opportunity lay, but there are just some guys I find more attractive than others, and my favorite beaux tend to be hairy. Ironic that I'd like HARRY, no?

5. You said: "Is that psycho that a fictional character is so real to me?"

Gosh no! Most of our (read: humans') favorite people are fictional. Why wouldn't it make sense that we'd fall in love with those who only exist in some others' creative spaces (and society's willingness to endure those spaces)?

To me, that just means we've fallen more in love with the writer. And isn't that what writers do? Damn you, Narcissus!

6. You said: "Oh, also, Bonnie, I said it once (to you, on your blog) and I'm gonna say it again, here, now, because I mean it: Watch Grey's Anatomy."

Yes sir. I've befriended one of the cast members, so I know know know know know I should be a follower. I know. I just soooooo don't have time to add another item to the TiVo list. Ugh. I so suck.

I need it to be like "RW/RR Challenge" shows (and I KNOW you know what that means) are for my friend Dawn. I tape 'em for her all season long, then we get together for Gimlet Night, watch all of 'em back to back to back back back while drinking and snacking and talking and such.

So, yes, I'll watch it... but not 'til I get a sponsor. *giggle*

7. You said: "I can tell from the little I know of you that Grey's should be one of those shows you and your friends watch and adore. Just my gut instinct."

What's that line from "When Harry Met Sally" that I loved so? "You're right, you're right. I know you're right!!"

And I do. You are. I will. But maybe after the 2nd season ends. I seriously can't add another show to the list. Not 'til these three effin' feature films are cast, at least. Sheesh! What is WITH these brilliant writers and directors and producers (oh, my!) handing me such great stuff?!? Don't they understand my love affair with my TV?!?



Joe Chandler said...

I thought sayign I was a quiet Asian lady would be the least fitting character on the show. I have no idea who I actually am. Maybe Ben Horne during his civil war freakout. Maybe the shut in that was friends with Laura. Maybe Duchovny. Oh wait, I know. I'm Albert. I actually really want to know which character i'm closest too. If I go by self image I'm definitely Andy. This all makes me want to rewatch the series. Really badly.

Audrey was so foxy. If you have a friend that is Audrey I will marry her and make her happy for the rest of her life. Seriously.

Erik said...

Bonnie, several things:

1. Coco was the name of the dachshund I had from the time I was 10 until I was 25. I won't tell Colleen that you told me that she lets you call her CoCo. (Except that now that comments are like the new email, I have a feeling she might read this, and then the jig will be up.) (There was a debate in a previous comment thread about whether or not the phrase was "the jig is up" or "the gig is up" and I'm sticking to my guns and saying "the jig is up.")

2. Well, I am sure we have met at Tuesdays. We must have. I totally know Blake and Subhash (is that how you spell his name?).


4. I love that you left #3 blank in your comment, so I am doing the same. I highlighted #3 when I was reading your comment to see if you had written something in "inviso-text." I wonder how one writes in inviso-text?

5. Well, now that my #4 responded to your #3, I'm off on my numbering, so this is in response to your #4--that IS ironic. I think the Sex and the City writers were having fun when they were naming Evan Handler's character because I feel like they wrote it for him specifically (I don't know this for a fact at all, I just assume that if you knew Evan Handler, you would write parts specifically for him, because he's so friggin' awesome) and he's bald but he's also hairy, so HARRY just fits as the perfect name.

6. Yes, damn you Narcissus. I had an earlier post in which I listed off my favorite literary characters (inspired by a similar list at The Sheila Variations) and this comment has inspired me to make another list (I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love making a list) of all time favorite characters, no limitations by medium--they could be characters from books, movies, plays, TV shows, whatever. I'm going to work on my list. If you want to play along, work on yours and then we'll compare!

7. I don't think there's anything left to say about Grey's Anatomy that you haven't heard. The marathon viewing idea sounds like a good one, then you won't miss out on anything. There have been some amazing episodes this season that would be a shame to miss out on--so wait for the season to come out on DVD. I am dying to know which cast member you have befriended.

8. Oh, and "When Harry Met Sally" is one of my favorite movies ever. In high school drama, I did a scene from it. I played Harry, of course. Actually, it wasn't really a specific scene from the movie and it wasn't in drama. Oh, man, if I try to explain this whole thing it will be a post of its own. Basically, it was for Speech and Debate, but the Drama category in Speech and Debate, and we edited together this ten minute scene that basically started with Harry and Sally meeting and then had moments throughout the movie until the scene ended with them (us) kissing on New Years. I can't be objective, but as a 16-year-old, I remember it feeling like the most fabulous amazing scene ever.

9. Speaking of not wanting to add something to your Tivo list--HBO is rerunning the second season of Deadwood, and so I decided I would finally get on board the Deadwood train and watch it before the third season starts. But the problem is I haven't seen the first season yet, (I have it on DVD--borrowed it from a friend--I just haven't watched it yet)--so I have to watch the first season before I can watch the second season and clear up my Tivo list, but it just seems so daunting and I have so many other things to do and so all of these episodes of Deadwood are just clogging up my Tivo. It's a problem.

10. This is fun.

11. What is LYMI?

Erik said...

Joe, I think you're Nadine, but Nadine from Season 2 (awesome / peppy / zesty), not Nadine from Season 1 (obsessed with silent drape runners).

Gina said...

I have a lot to say about SITC so I'm doing a piggyback post again. Head over to mine and join me, won't you??

Bonnie said...

Hee hee. This is fun.

1. Jig. Definitely jig. No question.

2. Yup. Subhash (who will return from NY next month) is who turned me on to the whole Naked Angels scene, and Blake, with whom I'd publish a book. Definitely GOOD people. And yes, that's how Subhash is spelled, though he lets me call him Shoebox. Or Steve.

I don't really use people's real names much, do I? Hmm.


4. Three being blank is a tradition I learned from a Yahoo Group called somesuch-whatnot. I think someone there had mistakenly recalled a Monty Python sketch or something (and I've never watched any Monty Python, either, so that could be wrong) and what was "There is never a six," became "There is never a three," and that's a rule now.

Or somesuch.

And you can make "inviso-text" by coding like this (without the spaces) < font color = ###### > where the number signs are replaced with whatever six-digit code matches your background color code. You turn off "inviso-text" by closing the tag (again, without the spaces) < / font >. So, there ya go.

5. When I am the Queen of Television, I'll be creating roles for Evan Handler. No question.

6. Ooh! Love the challenge! I should absolutely do that. Of course, I've now come up with a new post for my blog based on my budding romance with you, here in your comments section.

7. I am quite the starfucker. That quote of mine that I use in my casting email address signature file is very true: "If I'd known how popular going into casting would make me, I would've done it in high school." So, I have to be careful to note which friends are friends and which "friends" are starfucker name drop opportunities for me... and also which "friends" are actors looking to get cast. God bless Hollywood. Luckily, I love it all.

8. I used to do the "day of the week underpants" monologue for auditions, back when I was an actor type in Hotlanta. I should watch that movie again sometime soon. Greatness. I am sure your adapted scene was perfect!

9. I wish I had the HBO and the Showtime. I know, however, if I did, I would NEVER leave the house, and there is something to be said for the pasty white girl getting SOME sun every now and then. Especially seeing as she lives by the beach (and speaks about herself in the third person). Oh, here comes the starfucker again. I have a friend on Deadwood. He's amazing.

10. Amen, bruthah!

11. Love Ya, Mean It. ;)

Erik said...

1. Yes, I think the jig is up on people who use the phrase "the gig is up." (Yes, I'm talking to you, Mom.)

2. You really DON'T use people's real names very much...CoCo... Shoebox...hmmm...if you wanna come up with a fake name for me, I give you free reign to do so, but maybe you should wait until you know me a little bit better so we can be sure the name is apt.


4. I'm bad with html. Or, I'm only so-so with it. I am going to try to make the following invisible: If it actually works, then highlight to read! [I tried and it didn't work.] I want to say something really spoileriffic here (though what I would spoil, I'm not sure), but what if it doesn't work and then the spoiler isn't in inviso-text? So, this will just be a test.[again, I tried and blogger said "tag is not allowed"]

5. When you are the Queen of Television, can I be the king? I just went to your website and looked at the list of actors you interviewed in the book you wrote with Blake. Okay, how awesome is Chris Messina? It makes me so happy to imagine him and Clare Fisher ending up happily ever after. SO HAPPY. And, also, isn't Ilana Levine awesome too? She did a reading of one of my plays about a year ago, and it was a supporting role in the play and she totally made me want to write a whole new play about her character. She was just that good. Anyway, this was a digression, but, when you are Queen of TV and I am King of TV, we will create so many cool roles for people like Evan Handler. Rock on.

6. I love your beard post. I should post a comment in your blog about it (and I will) so that I'm not hogging all of the comments in our comment-fest over here.

7. At Sit 'N Spin last week, Kate Flannery read this great piece that started out something like, "I am not a starfucker, I've just fucked a few stars," and then she went on to talk about her affair with Davy Jones. I think it's an interesting distinction, but I'm not sure if that distinction really exists. ["Your HTML cannot be accepted"]If it does, then I am a starfucker and a fucker of stars. Okay, THAT is something I should have put in inviso-text, because I'm pretty sure my parents will read this comment at some point. Actually, I'm going to try the whole inviso-text thing again.[ditto]

8. Three best romantic comedies ever: When Harry Met Sally, Tootsie, Broadcast News.

9. I have a friend on Deadwood too! So there! Starfucking back at ya! (My friend is actually joining the cast for the third season, which is why I'm trying to catch up on the first two seasons right now.)

10. Love ya too, and mean it as well.

Neil said...

A real hypochondriac wouldn't even go to see a Queen Latifah movie in a theater during flu season.

Anonymous said...

The jig may be up, but what about Santa CLAUSE? This is definitely a new take on our fat, bearded friend. I'll give up the "gig" when you give up the "Clause." And what about "Sleepless in Seattle"? Goes with the other three great romantic movies. Never tire of it. Also, I'm not a lesbian or anything, but I sure love your new friend, Bonnie. Who needs real life when you can blog with Erik? So much fun to follow the dots.

Erik said...

Neil, I've never been a full-fledged Cameron-from-Ferris-Bueller's-Day-off kinda hypochondriac or even Julianne-Moore-from-that-indie-movie-that-put-her-on-the-map-Safe hypochondriac (though she was afraid of environmental conditions and their effect to her health more than medical conditions and their effects, so I'm sure she was something else and not a hypochondriac, per se), but anyway, I'm probably more like "a bit of" a hypochondriac, and while, perhaps, a full-fledged, my-life-is-completely-debilitated-by-this hypochondriac would "never even go to see a Queen Latifah movie in a theater during flu season," I have no problem seeing movies at the Grove. People with the flu don't go to the Grove. People with the flu go to AMC Burbank. (And don't try to defend AMC Burbank--I love Burbank--but you gotta admit that the movie-going experience in Burbank is of the flu-ish variety.) So I would amend your statement and say that the kinda hypochondriac I am would never even go to see a Queen Latifah movie in a theater during flu season IN BURBANK.

Erik said...

Dear Mom,

It's Santa Claus? Really? That looks so funny to me.

And maybe you're not a lesbian, but you are a punk-ass. There, I said it, it's finally on the table: my mother is a punk-ass.

Deal with THAT, beeyatch.


Anonymous said...

Dear Erik,
What's a punk-ass?

Erik said...

Well, Mom, the urban slang dictionary defines a "punk-ass" as such (and I want to stress that these are NOT my definitions, they are from the urban slang dictionary):

1. A dumbass who thinks he's rebelling even though everyone is doing the same so-called rebelling.

2. A inmate in a Correctional Facility who engages in sex acts for payment.

3. Strange or eclectic. Good or bad is determined from context.

4. Punk guy with a Punk attitude.

Now, #2 obviously does not fit this context, nor does #4. And I don't think #3 is a correct definition at all (the urban slang dictionary gets its definitions from you, the people--any ol' fool who submits). And while #1 is the closest to the correct definition of punk-ass that I'm looking for, it still doesn't really define the word properly for what I think you are.

Therefore, I'm gonna define punk-ass like this:

"Someone who finds pleasure in stirring the proverbial pot."

Anonymous said...

1. Your definition is definitely the best.

2. Now that I understand it, I won't be offended if you call me a punk-ass, even though I am your mom.


Erik said...

1. Thank you.

2. Good.


4. Oh my God. You ARE a lesbian!

Bonnie said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG. My eyes are pissing with joy! I so so so so so love your non-lesbian punk-ass momma! I'm soooo coming over for dinner! HOWL!

Oh, man, I'm laughing so hard my cats are waking up and glaring at me. Awesome belly laugh. Thank you.

Okay, on to the list-fest.

1. (in response to your 2.) I will name you when I know you better. I think the name will have something to do with the rebel-way you spell Erik. Hmm. Perhaps I shall call you KiKi. *stroking imaginary handlebar moustache* We'll see.

2. (to your 4.) You're fine with HTML. You just happen to be testing out inviso-text in COMMENTS. And you'll note, in the little line above the comment box, the warning about being able to use SOME HTML tags. So, the color-of-font tag is not so much allowed in comments. Try it in one of your "for reals" posts. And then that can be your new thing for the day.


4. (to your 5.) Of course. You may be King. But you must first agree to RULE NUMBER ONE of my empire: Every pilot that is shot will air. Every episode of every show that is cancelled will air. People worked very hard to make these things that are considered "not commercially worthy" of airtime. In my empire, these episodes will see the light of day. We will have a network along the lines of the greatness of Canadian Trio and its amazing series "Brilliant But Cancelled." It's the least we can do, as good li'l starfuckers.

5. (still to your 5.) Chris Messina gave on of my favorite interviews in the book. He starts out talking about what it was like, playing a gay guy in a school play and having some jock yell, from the back, "Fag!" And him, in character, looking across the auditorium and screaming, "Fuck you!" Since the entire school roared with applause and love for him, he knew he was going to say, "Fuck you," whenever he could, as an actor. I so love that policy.

And he's hot.

Y'know. That's always fun.

6. (still to your 5.) Ilana Levine is the inspiration for the book, according to Blake, who brought the idea to me for execution. She brought in working actors before every class at Naked Angels, when Blake was in NY, and had them talk about what it was "really like," and that really informed his expectations of working-actor-dom. She's a very cool chick. And how fun to have your first job be with Robert Altman?? I mean... what do you do after that?!? So cool.

7. (to your 6.) Thankee. I was just thinking about how very much time I spent loving, lusting after, supporting-but-secretly-hoping-for-a-change-of-heart, and otherwise helping fake-out those who didn't accept my gay boyfriends and realizing that "kids today" (man, do I sound 80 or what) don't get to do that so much. I mean, unless they're growing up in West Central Michigan or somesuch.

8. (to your 7--is this becoming like naming chess moves??) "Sit 'n Spin" *giggle* Me likee.

9. (to your 8.) I think I can quote every single line of "Broadcast News." In fact, I'm positive I can. That movie is effin' greatness of the highest order. "I can sing. While I read. I am reading. And singing. BOTH! On that Midnight Train to Georgia. Woo woo!" Ah... man, I miss 1988.

10. (to your 9 and 10.) Oooh, such fun when a friend "joins a cast" of a great show. I just love that day of setting up the new "names wish lists" on my TiVo. It's just FUN. And then when you get all giddy, seeing them work on TV... and then remember that, "Oh yeah. Hey, yeah. That's kind of what happens in this town and it's sort of the point of my job and stuff." Then you remember to act all cool and unimpressed with it all. And then you meet a fellow starfucker and LOVE how much fun it is to do the celebrity name-drop and do so in a "first name only" kind of way, acting WAY too cool when someone says, "What?!? You know ____?!? No way!!"... but secretly you feel like Jennifer Garner's character in "13 Going on 30" when she sees the photo of Madonna in her grown-up office, autographed to HER. *gasp* "I know Madonna?!?"

Yeah. It's like that. ;)

That's how *I* feel getting to know YOU! ;) And your punk-ass mom too. *giggle*

'til next time!

Bonnie said...

Pretend I actually typed "one" instead of "on" in the first line of my number five, above. *rolls eyes* Damn imperfect self!

Erik said...


1. My non-lesbian punk-ass mom TOTALLY has a girl-crush on you. Seriously. It's not even funny.

2. You're welcome for the belly laugh.


4. (in response to your 1.) My name is spelled with a K because I'm a Viking. Or my Great-Grandfather was, and the folks before him were. I have a few pre-existing nicknames.

Let's see.

a) ERP. These are my initials. My grandfather coined this one. He's been calling me "Erp" since before I can remember. My friend Urp calls me Erp, as well. (Obviously, Urp isn't her real name--it's a nickname I've given her, based on her initials, and if you wanna know more about Urp, I'm gonna have to save that for an offline conversation because I am paranoid about weird things, and if she reads this comment she will understand what I'm talking about.) (Did that sound ominous, or what?) (It's not ominous, it's a story I want to share with you, my new BFF.) (But I want to share it with you offline.) (Moving on...)

b) POOP. I'm not sure where this one came from. My friend Poop calls me Poop. Obviously Poop isn't her real name either, but it's what we call each other. Sometimes we call each other Shithead for humor and variation.


d) (since 'c' is the equivalent of '3' I skipped it) DIMSUM. This one comes from my email address, except the nickname came before the email address. My friend I.P. Freely coined this one. (Also not her real name.) (But it IS what I call her.) (Sometimes.) I like the story of how this one was coined, and I feel like sharing it, so here goes: I.P. and I were studying abroad for a semester in London. This was back when I thought I wanted to be an actor. Our flats were in Marble Arch and our college was in Camden Town, which was a thirty minute bus ride. (Oh my god, I miss London. Just thinking about the city gets me all kvetchy.) Anyway, we were always taking the bus back and forth between home and school, school and home, etc., etc., etc. And we would have great conversations on the bus, of course, and one day we were trying to come up with really radical stage names for each other. And we decided that the best stage name in the world would be Dim Sum Daily, because imagine your name was Dim Sum Daily and you were cast as the lead in Hamlet...the posters would read, "Hamlet, with Dim Sum Daily," and then you would, like, double your audience because you'd have a ton of people coming for the Shakespeare and a ton of people coming for what they expected to be free Chinese food. Perfect stage name, right? So then she started calling me Dim Sum Daily, or Dimsum for short, and my email address became dimsumday, and the rest is history.

e) PEPE. This was my "French name" in high school French class. My friends Fefe and Pascal (also not their real names, but they are their real "French names") still call me Pepe.

f) BROOMHILDA. This is sort of an antique nickname for me, since no one has called me this in over a decade. My best friends in high school called me Broomhilda. I don't remember the exact story of how this name was coined, but I know it had to do with some sort of Three's Company-esque confusion involving a broom.

g) Holy crap, I never realized I had so many nicknames, I'm not even done. Two more.

h) ROSS. This is my middle name. My step-mom calls me Ross. (Her mom, who passed away a few years ago, also used to call me Ross.)

i) THE ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD KID. My step-dad used to write a weekly column in the OC Times (he still has a weekly column, but the current one is in another local paper) and his column is essentially a "this is how I see the world as a liberal in Orange County" type of column, and he often writes about his family. He started this column when I was eleven, and whenever he would refer to me, he would call me "the eleven-year-old kid" or "the eleven-year-old kid in [his] household." I loved being mentioned in his column, and I loved my moniker. When I turned twelve in real life, he asked me if I wanted him to start calling me "the twelve-year-old kid," but I told him no, I wanted to stay eleven in his column. After all, that's how I had been branded--"the eleven-year-old kid"--people knew me as this specific character, and I knew enough about branding at that young age that I understood it would be stupid to change this name that already had accumulated a certain amount of recognition. It would be like if The WB and UPN networks suddenly changed their names to The CW network--you know, very confusing. So then I turned thirteen, and my step-dad was still calling me "the eleven-year-old kid" in his column, and people who read his column started to decide that something fishy was going on, they realized that I couldn't possibly still be eleven. After all, wasn't I eleven two years ago? It just didn't add up to them, and they started writing letters to the newspaper complaining that my step-dad didn't respect me, that he didn't know how old I was, and that he shouldn't call me "the kid." They thought that on top of calling me by the wrong age, calling me "the kid" was particularly offensive and rude.

This is all true, as absurd as it sounds. People were writing letters. It was a mini-scandal. I, the thirteen-year-old eleven-year-old kid was mystified. Why did anyone care what my step-dad called me? It was what I WANTED him to call me. I wrote a guest column (or a letter to the Editor, I can't remember which) (in my memory, it was a guest column) (but I'm putting this disclaimer in here so that Oprah Winfrey doesn't go all James Frey on my ass) (anyway, it was either a guest column or a letter to the editor; regardless, it was published), and in this guest column/letter, I defended my step-dad and the moniker he had chosen for me, and which I had chosen for him to keep for me. In the end, the paper asked him to stop calling me "the eleven-year-old kid" and I still think that was the lamest thing any newspaper has ever asked anyone to do ever.

Wow. So. Those are all of my nicknames. I like the name Kiki, and would approve of you calling me that, but I agree that you should get to know me a little bit more before you pick one.

5. (still in response to your 1.) I love the image of you "stroking your imaginary handlebar moustache."

6. (to your 2.) My next post will have inviso-text. Oh yes, it will.

7. (in response to your pre-numbered comments) I just talked to my Mom on the phone and she was like, "did you read Bonnie's latest comment? I love her!" This is a direct quote. She truly does have a girlcrush on you.

8. (to your 4.) Okay, I totally agree to RULE NUMBER ONE of your TV ruling empire. Every pilot that is shot will totally completely air. And every episode of every show that is cancelled will air. I absolutely stand behind those rules. And I would like to propose, as RULE NUMBER TWO: Though it may move from network to network, Arrested Development will be given at least TEN MORE seasons, and all of these seasons will contain at least 22 episodes, and people will stop saying things on message boards like "I'm tired of the critics telling me to watch this show--I tried it and I just don't like it" because they WILL watch it, and they WILL like it.

9. (to your 5.) Wow, I'm sitting here reading your anecdote about Chris Messina and my vision totally just got all frosty and I'm all goo-goo and shit and I want to doodle the words "Erik Messina" all over my Trapper Keeper. And then I'm like, "Bonnie has interviewed Chris Messina!" and I get all starfuckery jealous. And then I reread the anecdote again, and I'm like, "Fuck you," in honor of the anecdote.

10. (to your 6.) That's so cool about Ilana Levine being the inspiation for your book.

11. (to your 8, which was to my 7.) Yes, this is totally like naming chess moves. I wish I was better at chess.

12. (still to your 8.) I actually played online checkers this afternoon. How random is that?

13. (to your 9.) My favorite line from Broadcast News is when Albert Brooks says to Holly Hunter "I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time" and she knows exactly what he's talking about.

14. (to your 10.) I know exactly what you mean and totally agree.

I know Madonna?!?

Actually, that should read:

I know Bonnie?!?


P.S. Even before I read your comment commenting on your comment, I was already pretending that you had typed "one" instead of "on" in the first line of number five. Don't worry, I have you covered. If it makes you feel any better, my China Olive post was RIDDLED with typos until I reread it and realized I must have written it under heavy sedatives or something because there were, like, 573 types in it.

P.P.S. I swear to god I did not mean to write "types" at the end of that P.S. That is an honest-to-god typo that I noticed just before submitting this comment and I am leaving it there because it's my favorite typo ever.

Erik said...

Speaking of "damn imperfect self":

I quote:

"10. (to your 6.) That's so cool about Ilana Levine being the inspiation for your book."


Anonymous said...

To B: Yes, please come over for dinner.
To ERP: You're invited, too.
To B and ERP: (How cool is that--together you are BERP.) Your assignment is to commit a typo without freaking out. It's going to be scary, but you can do it.

Anonymous said...

B: ERP insists I explain that PAM stands for Punk-Assed Momma.


Bonnie said...

1. Wish me luck. I'm going to dive in on comments' comments after having had a nice BOTTLE of celebration cider (see my blog for why), tuning in "Sex" on TBS (no, I do not choose to watch the W do his evil), and wishing I could be as chill as the kitties are. (PAM, look up "chill" in the adjective form at the Urban Dick.)

2. You said your non-lesbo PAM has a girl-crush on me. Love that! Now... does she love me like a NBF's fake GF should be loved? Or does she love me like a full-on PERSON? Or... scarier still, does she love me like a MOM? Aww. I so miss my mom. Sucks to lose the mom. Enjoy your punk-ass version for as long as you can! Just sayin'.

2. I'm calling you "Kiki" 'til I meet you in person for SURE. Even though we may have met at T@9, I still don't know that you're properly "Kiki," so it's your temp name. Much as mine, when in doubt, is "Bon." Just is what's easy. ;)

ERP is plenty good. POOP makes sense. And skipping "C" like skipping "3" or "III" or any other approximate is all officially good. Now... don't like the "dimsum" only b/c I always hear Brandon Walsh saying, "Dimsum and then some" in 90210, and... as 90210 characters go, Brandon is about the wet-blankety-est of 'em all. So, you get a ding for no other reason than Jason Priestly is not a stellar actor and that his character's love affair with "Emily Valentine," his real-life GF, was some of the worst EVER acting I ever saw. I mean, c'mon! If you can't make it look like you're in love with the woman you're ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH when you're on camera, you sooooooo need to get your study on.

BTW... I love love LOVE your story about being the 11-year-old-kid. That's some lovely journalism going on! OMG. That's seriously one of the best autobiographical moments EVER. And you shared it in COMMENTS. Awesome.


4. I stroke my imaginary handlebar moustache as I remember your photo of the new thing you tried, which was growing pornstar facial hair. Since I don't have that option (damn you, estrogen), I must imagine I'm some hairy-faced friend, when it comes to doing devious things like stroking a moustache and considering evil-doings.

5. Having cast (in a film) an actor who is a series regular on "Arrested Development," I am guessing that we'd be in the same world, re: the rule of what must be aired... and over and over. It's only fair. And as to what we can dictate (being talked about on forums), well... good luck to us. I work hard just to get my will dictated in my apartment.

6. If you can come to my book party thingy (and bring the PAM) on Thursday, I'll give you a copy of the film I cast starring an "Arrested Development" actor AND involving chess. It's like our "16 Candles." I shall share it with you. ;) But you have to let me know if you'll be there in person, for me to share a "real" copy with. (Yes, I hate myself for ending that sentence with "with." Oy.)

7. What will your mom make for dinner, when I come over? I do have this whole gluten issue. So, consider that.

8. Yes, typos are scary. When you grow up with your mother saying, "My daughter, the writer," and you stomp your foot and say, "Muh thur! I am an actress!" you rebel against all things accurate. And then you go to college for journalism and then you effin' go to grad school for journalism which means you're a hopeless case of ever-self-critical (there is no typo allowed ever) ism. And then you tip up the glass b/c at least that makes it all "allowed." For now. ;)

9. God bless the Internets.

Bonnie said...

OMG--TWO number TWOs? It's like I honor YOUR number two. Bless the Erik Poop!!!

Erik said...

1. This is my favorite comments thread ever. Have I already said that? I think I might have said it once. I have this fantasy of never posting again, just posting all of my thoughts and New Things in this comments thread, and then some people will come to my blog and they'll be like, "gosh, Erik hasn't posted in a really long time," but my eagle-eyed readers will notice, if they scroll down a few posts, that the evesdropping on Michael Patrick King thread has, literally, hundreds and hundreds of comments!

2. I can't watch "Sex" on TBS. That is to say, I've actually never watched it on TBS--I just won't let myself do it. I guess it's because I have several of the seasons on DVD (not all of them, though) and I love the show so much that I don't want to see any of it altered. I supposed you could argue that a real fan of the show would love it so much that they would want to watch it EVEN IF it was altered just so that they could feast on the show, but I'm not gonna buy that logic, and the reason I don't want to see edited versions is not because I need a Kim Cattral booty fix every time I watch the show, I just think it's so brilliantly constructed that every time I watch it, I want to see it exactly how they originally intended. Call me a purist, I guess. Oh, man, all of the "Sex" talk makes me want to stop writing this comment and go watch some of my favorite episodes. Speaking of which:

2. My top five favorite episodes of Sex and the City are (in no particular order) (and feel free to play along and make your own list):

(if, for some godforsaken reason, you haven't seen all of these episodes, then stop reading this comment and call in sick to your job and go buy the entire series on DVD and watch all every unexpurgated episode and then come back to this comment thread and see if your favorite episodes match up with mine. fun!)

(SPOILERS abound)

a) "My Motherboard, My Self," wherein Carrie's motherboard fries and she loses all of the files on her computer and she doesn't have anything backed up (and I sympathize too much because this has happened to me as well) and Miranda's mother dies. There are two scenes in this episode that just kill me--the one where Miranda is trying on a bra with a saleswoman played by Mary Pat Gleason, whose name I had to look up just now, but who's face I will never forget--the way she shifts from being so frustrated with Miranda to being so filled with compassion for this woman who suddenly looks so lost, oh man. And the other scene that kills me is the whole funeral scene--first when Miranda turns to look at her friends and Samantha starts crying for the first time and they share that look of understanding, and then when Miranda and Carrie are walking out of the church and Carrie has that voice over about "friends who just show up" and then they pass by Aidan and Steve, who they hadn't expected to see at the funeral, but who, of course, were just there. I also love that Miranda's sister is played by Becky Ann Baker who played the Weir mother in Freaks and Geeks and who is SO GOOD and I think she's a friend of Cynthia Nixon's in real life because the part is basically a walk-on, she only has one line, but she really fills her quick little moment and it makes me happy to see the mom from Freaks and Geeks getting work.

b) "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" -- This is the one where Charlotte marries Trey and Carrie tells Aidan about her affair with Big. That moment when Charlotte is having doubts about going through with it right before she's about to walk down the aisle and she tells Carrie about her fears and Carrie's like, "you wanna leave? don't worry about everyone else, we can go right now." Awesome moment. And then, when Aidan breaks up with Carrie, and then Carrie has to go take wedding photos and put on a happy face for Charlotte, and she does, but you can see her dying inside, and she tells Miranda "I told him" and then Miranda just puts her hand on Carrie's shoulder and so much is said without being said and this is a perfect example of actions speaking louder than words.


d) "Change of a Dress" -- Carrie and Aidan break up a second time. Adian says "I can't believe we're here again." The scene with the allergic reaction to the wedding dress. Charlotte freaking out at the tap dancing class while "Tea for Two" plays. Miranda fakes excitement about her baby until she's alone at the end of the episode and she feels the baby kick and she's actually excited for the first time for real. And then the end of the episode when Carrie and Aidan sleep on the other side of the wall and Carrie's voice over "Aidan moved out the next day," which, according to Michael Patrick King's commentary, they almost didn't use, but that voice over line is perfect because it's simple, but like a kick in the gut.

e) "One" -- Carrie has a really enchanting time with Alex Petrovsky and I don't hate him yet, I am actually charmed by him; Samantha has a very funny pubic hair storyline; Steve tells Miranda that she's "the one"; and Charlotte tells everyone she's pregnant, then has a miscarraige, then is inspired by Elizabeth Taylor to get off the couch and support her friend Miranda by going to Brady's birthday party; and I have been made a wreck by this show again.

f) "An American Girl in Paris: Parts Une et Deux" -- The series finale. So good in so many ways. I could go on and on but I am going to spare you and move on to a different subject because haven't I babbled on about Sex and the City long enough?

By the way, these episodes were the first five favorites off the top of my head. There are other episodes that are fighting for the top five in my head right now, and while many of them are definitely contenders, I am going to stick with these five (okay, technically I have six listed because I counted the two-part finale as one) as my top of the pops.

2. I'm adding a second number two in honor of your second number two. Maybe it will become a thing.


4. Bonnie, I think my PAM loves you as a full-on person.

5. Kiki it is.

6. Okay, maybe Christine Elise was terrible as Emily Valentine, but I still remember enjoying the episode where she had her freakout and burned down the...what was it she burned down? Was it a boat? Was it a float for the Rose Parade? She didn't burn their house down, did she? I feel like whatever she burned down was in the Walsh family's driveway. Help me out, oh expert on all that is 90210.

6. We are going to be the best rulers of the TV world ever. I went to your website and so I know which "Arrested Development" series regular you're talking about, and I love her, and am I twisted for wanting her and GM to get together??? GM is way better than Steve Holt (though I love Steve Holt). Steve Holt!

7. I already told you this, but I wish wish wish I could come to your book party thingy tomorrow night! Ug. I'm sorry I can't make it.

8. I told my mom about your problems with gluten and she is coming up with menu items and will run them by you. Are you a vegetarian? Because my mom makes these amazing stuffed chicken dishes.

9. Stop reading my comment thread and get to work so you can finish everything you need to do and come to Show and Tell tonight!!!

Erik said...

Oh. My. God. I meant to have TWO number twos and then I totally accidentally used THREE number twos!

Anonymous said...

A full-on person, for sure. The list thing is amazing. Makes me wonder if you two are clones.

Bonnie said...

1a. My favorite comments thread ever too! I haven't put this much time and affection into written back-and-forths since the courtship that led to my marriage. Keith and I met online and exchanged emails for what seemed like FOREVER before we met in person. Good story for another time. But, suffice it to say, I loves me some well-written witty banter and intellectual discourse. Oh, and the funny. Loves me some funny.

1b. You should totally stop blogging the "old school" way and just add to comments. It's like having a secret, inviso-text link somewhere on your site that leads to the slam book you don't tell anyone about. What? I don't do that. Hush! Really! ;)

2a. Okay, don't hate me. I've only ever seen SATC on TBS, WGN, and other such superstations and/or airplanes. It's true. I'm a "Bonnie come lately" to the SATC life. Having not had the "expensive cable TV" since I lived with my psycho ex-roommate in Sherman Oaks in '99, I just never saw any of it 'til (you'll love this story) the series finale. Okay, storytime: Feb. 2004. I'm on an east coast speaking tour for my second book (the first edition of what is--just this week--my newest book [its second edition, my fourth book; oy, I have a headache]) and one of the things I do, when back east, is visit family. Even my dad. From whom I'm estranged. So, I'm sitting in my dad's living room, not having seen him for years and years, and the series finale for SATC is coming on. Excited to see what it's all about (and certain I'll love it), I watch the little retrospective episode and behind-the-scenes interviews that air before the finale. I am feeling well caught up (or, at least enough to watch this episode).

Okay, so Carrie walks by a bookstore in Paris, spotting her own baby right there in the window. She stops and smiles at it. Daddy says, "Aw. That must be neat, seeing your own book in the bookstore window. Don't you think that'd be neat, Bonnie?" I take a moment, decide whether I want to even "go there" on this one, and then swallow hard, look at my father, and say, "Yeah, Dad. It IS neat." *sigh*

Anyway... loved the episode, of course, and totally thought Carrie ended up with the right guy, even though I'd not been exposed to the whole set-up. Declared then that I would watch every episode when it aired on TBS, which it would begin doing later that year. And I did. EVERY episode. Love 'em all.

Now, my good friends (the purists) told me there was no way I would ever GET the show, seeing this cut-up "TV safe" version. Ah, but I do recall reading interviews with the producers about how they shot every scene twice: once for HBO and once for airplane use. Yup. Since they already had a contract in place to sell episodes to the airlines, they built into the production schedule these second versions! So, except for the occasional "bleeped" words, there really isn't a "hack job" being done on the episodes to get them "TV safe," which makes the viewing more enjoyable, I'd imagine.

That said, I have long-kept all of the seasons' DVD box sets on my Amazon wishlist.

2b. You named my ABSOLUTE NUMBER ONE FAVORITE episode first. In fact, here's where I blogged about it. Greatness. Oh, and I got the "Freaks and Geeks" box set for my b'day last year. Further greatness. Man, when we are the Royal Family of Television, we will have a time!

Can't recall what else is happening in the episode, but the day that Samantha tells the gals she has cancer is a big one for me. It's the day Miranda gets married, right? And despite all that's happening, the four of 'em end up sitting together and being there for one another NO MATTER WHAT. But of course there are many episodes that end like that. Love 'em all. Man! Such good TV! You're right. All of the episodes are contenders. That's just awesome.


4. Yay! Your PAM loves me! Yay! Love is always fun! And your PAM rocks! Yippee! Oh, and PAM, Kiki and I may be clones, but more likely just twins from different mothers. ;)

5. Ah, Emily Valentine never actually burned down anything. She covered the homecoming float from West Bev High in gas, then sat on the float in the Walsh driveway, flicking a Zippo's lid open and closed. Brenda, coming home from a date, talks some sense into her before she truly becomes a firestarter. The only actual fire in 90210 history is at the rave Steve and Val throw in an old house. Kelly, in the "secret screening room bathroom" with a lesbian, gets burned in the process. Brandon happens to be with Emily Valentine (who is in town on a layover) at the time, thus spiraling Kelly into a life of distrust for her man (and all men), leading eventually to her cocaine addiction. Ah, 90210. I love you so!

6. Hey, Kiki, I'm going to invite you to a screening of "Queen of Cactus Cove" so that I can introduce you to your "Arrested Development" lady love and we can all get the scoop on who SHE wants to end up with. Tee hee. Anyway, will blog the announcement, but will also forward you the official invite. Gonna be fun!

7. That's okay that you can't make it tonight. I know you're doing big wheeling, dealing Hollywood stuffs today and that's very important! You go hurry up and get famous so that we're ever-closer to our ruling of the TV world and beyond. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to your armpit storytelling! I'm sure you weren't as nervous as you felt. You rock.

8. I am nowhere close to being a vegetarian. I love love love things like steak and lobster and crab and shrimp and bacon and chicken and other animals of all kind. ;) Hee hee. I don't love scallops for some reason and I'm not into mushrooms or olives, but other than that, I'm pretty much an equal opportunity consumer of all gluten-free foods. Hell, I'm not a size 20 for no good reason! *giggle* Love good food, good friends, good drink. Just can't have flour. And need to watch out for any prepared/processed foods with "natural flavors" in the ingredient list. While "modified food starch" is always gluten, "natural flavors" is SOMETIMES gluten. So... I've learned what's safe and what's not. I'm happy to say that, these days, I learn the "less-hard way" than I learned at first (trial and error). CoCo has been a big help with these food lessons, too.

9. Okay, back to work. Oh, I see that you have a mancrush on Michael J. Fox. Have you seen this yet? Brokeback to the Future. Brilliant.


Erik said...

A NOTE: I am seriously--no, make that CRIMINALLY--behind in replying to comments on the blog, especially on this, my favorite comment thread. (Which I hope continues to have a comment conversation until the end of time.)

1. Bon, I absolutely want to hear your story about meeting Keith. Maybe that conversation is for when we actually meet each other in person? Or maybe it's an online conversation. I just love that the two of you had a mondo email relationship before the offline one began.

2. I think I just might hide my blog entirely in comments. I mean, I will still put entries on the regular blog page, but if you aren't reading the comment thread to the Michael Patrick King post, then you really aren't in the "in crowd" over here at My Year Of New Things, that's for sure. I love that this comment thread is about to hightail it over to the "archive section" of my blog, thus making it harder to find, and oh so much more fun and secret. This comment thread is like Club 33 at Disneyland--you can drink here too!

2a. I am totally gonna look for that inviso-text link on your blog. That is a brilliant idea. You have elevated the art of inviso-text to a whole new level. Righteous.


4. In response to your comment, "Okay, don't hate me. I've only ever seen SATC on TBS, WGN, and other such superstations and/or airplanes."

Okay. Here's the thing. I've put a lot of thought into this. If you saw me driving on the freeway or around town this week, you would have seen a really pensive look on my face, and that's because I was thinking about this issue. And you're right. The heart and soul of SATC is the relationships and all of that, and for a show with the word "Sex" in the title, it really isn't as blue as one would think (I suppose some people would argue with me on this one, but I stand firm on the whole "it ain't really that blue" thing) and those moments that were surely changed for the "TV safe" versions are not what makes this show so powerful and funny--they aren't the moments we keep coming back for when we watch this show again and again and again. All of that said, I have been thinking about how you said that they would shoot every scene twice--one for HBO and one for airplane use. The "TV safe" version. Now, I'm sure they didn't shoot EVERY scene twice, just the "blue" scenes. Which means that the TBS versions, the ones that you have seen and fallen in love with, are all slightly different from the ones I have seen and fallen in love with, not in a they-ADR'd-that-word-out way, but in a that-shot-was-a-different-take way, and because everyone involved in SATC was brilliant, I'm sure that the TBS versions are equally brilliant in their unique different ways, and, gosh, I'm rambling, but my point is--no, it's not a point, it's a revelation--the REVELATION I had was that, as a true fan of SATC, I need to see every episode on TBS so that I can feast on all of the variations, all of the nuances in THAT.

(And, also, someone needs to get you the DVD boxed set of the whole series so you can feast on THAT.)

5. Oh, you are so right, the episode where Miranda gets married and Samantha tells the girls she has cancer--"The Ick Factor"--and yes, the best moment is when Samantha and Charlotte and Carrie are all talking about it, and Miranda comes up to them and asks them what's going on, and they don't want to tell her because it's her big day and they don't want to spoil it, and she says, so firmly, something along the lines of, "No, you're my friends, you're my big day, nothing gets in the way of us," and then Samantha tells her--the way this show deals with friendship is so right on. I love it.

6. You really ARE an expert in everything 90210! Why does my brain think that Emily lit that homecoming float on fire. I can totally picture her flicking the Zippo's lid open and closed, but I also can picture the whole thing going up in flames. And my memory isn't of the Steve and Val rave fire. It's just some memory I have apparently made up.

The 90210 character who I most closely identified with when I watched the show (and I was in junior high school when the show premiered, so I was just a year or two younger than the characters, and only about 20 or 30 years younger than the actors) (sorry, that was probably an uncalled for slam on Gabrielle Carteris) (but speaking of Gabrielle, as I was saying, the character who I most closely identified with on the show was) Andrea Martin.

How weird is that? (Is it weird?) Maybe it's because I went to Newport Harbor High School (the high school that the kids in The OC go to, which I don't watch, but when I do watch it, I always think, "ah, so that's what all of the popular kids did with their Friday nights!") and I actually lived on the outskirts of Newport Beach (not in a bad neighborhood, a great neighborhood actually, but it was a different zipcode) just like Andrea lived in the wrong zipcode, but she still managed to go to Beverly because it was a good school and she was a good student, just like I was a good student. And she had foolish crushes on boys like Brandon Walsh, just like I did. Andrea Martin and I were two peas in a pod.

7. Okay, I am, like, GIDDY about the invite to the "Queen of Cactus Cove" screening! Please, yes, thank you, I am so totally there. I cannot wait to (a) watch the movie and (b) find out who so-and-so wants to end up with and (c) and (d) go to a screening of a film you worked on.

8. Okay, I am not quite done replying to all of your comments, Bonnie, but I am housesitting for my stepsister this week and I am supposed to be at her place in, like, ten minutes to learn all of the things I'm supposed to know and, oh my gosh, I am gonna be SO SO late if I do not jump out of bed right now. (I'm still in bed! How embarrassing. Well, it's Sunday, so I guess it's excused.) So, anyway, I will come back and finish this in a bit.

Bonnie said...

Awesome. Standing by. Watching all of my friends on commercials at the big super-ball thingy. Finishing this week's column. Doing a "this week's casting pitch roundup" memo (*giggle*) for this rockstar film I love so much. Then I'll come back here, see if you're finished with your comments, and then I'll start on mine.

Yay! Happy house-sitting.

Erik said...

Bonnie, I am just now back at my computer for the first time in 14 hours. Can you believe it? Which means I've left you standing by for quite a long time. I went to my sis's to get all the scoop on house-sitting, then I ran a bunch of errands, then I went to my agent's house to watch the superbowl (where I won 90 bucks in a pool, which was totally a new thing, and which I might write a post about in my fake blog, i.e. the non-comments section), and then I met up with my friend Aimie to see Something New, the black/white romantic comedy that opened this weekend, and then we went to Denny's and ate craptastic food, and we talked for hours, and then I got home, finally, and was about to sit down and watch Grey's Anatomy because I have been so excited about it all day long, especially because of all of the promos they showed during the superbowl (which was more exciting than I thought it could possibly be because did I tell you I WON NINETY BUCKS IN THE POOL, and maybe even better than that, did you know that all of the guys who play football run around in really tight pants and their butts jiggle around? I certainly didn't know it, but I know it now, and I think I just became a football fan) and then I couldn't watch the episode immediately because I had these movie plans, but no worries, I figured, because I had my Tivo on the job, and I even set it so that it would tape an hour before the episode was scheduled to start and an hour after it was scheduled to end, in case something funky happened with the game and it was long or short or ohmygodIamso upsetrightnowbecause IT DIDN'T FREAKIN' RECORD. Wait, that's wrong. It did record. The first thirty minutes. HOW CAN I WATCH ONLY THE FIRST THIRTY MINUTES??? I can't. I must find someone who has it on tape, or I must storm the ABC building in Burbank and demand a video copy of the episode.

Breathe, Erik, breathe.


Okay, so, I took a few minutes to breathe. Sorry about that rant. I had to let it out. I am still upset about the Tivo situation. I really wanted to watch this episode of Grey's Anatomy tonight, before going to bed. I'm sure you understand what I mean because, even though you don't watch Grey's, I think you know a thing or two about obsession. Oy.

Okay, so, back to my previous comment post now:

9. Totally random, but I'm listening to the Scissor Sisters right now, their song Take Your Mama Out, which is such a great song. They are SO good. I ate dinner at BJ's Brewery last week and noticed that Scissor Sisters was playing on their music system, and was totally weirded out that the Scissor Sisters are international rock sensations, but they don't get any airplay on radio stations in America, yet at least, but they're still, somehow, big enough to play on random music playlists at random restaurants. Bonnie (and anyone else who might still be reading this comment thread) please tell me you own their album because it's seriously one of the best albums of last year, if not THE best album of last year, unless it came out two years ago, which I think it might have, in which case it's totally one of the best albums of TWO YEARS AGO, if not THE best album of two years ago.

10. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to your book release party! The pictures looked like it was fun. My Hollywood wheeling and dealing stuffs went well--the dinner meeting did, at least. The pitch was postponed, rescheduled for next week. (Or, I guess it's THIS week now.) I'm working my hardest to take over this town so that we can rule everything and give jobs to people like Evan Handler and Harriet Harris. I know you're doing your damndest to take over this town too. Soon we will be all-powerful.

11. No worries about not making it to Show and Tell. The night went really well. I think I looked more nervous than I actually was! But it read well, and maybe I'll post the essay on the blog so you can read it, or maybe I'll just email you the essay.

12. Back to fantasizing about how things will be when we rule the TV world--after we make sure that Evan Handler is always employed, I want to make sure that Amy Aquino is always employed as well. I have loved her ever since that last scene in Working Girl when Tess told her "I don't want you to get me coffee unless you're already getting it for yourself and I want you to call me Tess and the rest will figure out as we go along" and Amy Aquino has this look on her face that's like, "I'm think I'm gonna like it here and I'm gonna work harder for Tess because I like this chick." And she's also great as Neil Schweiber's mom on Freaks and Geeks. I don't know why Amy Aquino is on my mind right now.

13. It has been too long since I've watched Freaks and Geeks. I need to have a marathon soon.

14. Good friends, good food, and good drink are what it's all about.

15. LYMI

Bonnie said...


I haven't forgotten about our dialogue over here. Just got really busy, what with the computer dying and all that.

Okay, so my schedule is tight 'til after a big casting meeting on Monday, but after that (and a nap, and maybe some good hooch), I'll be back with replies to your latest replies to my long-ago replies....


Just wanted to visit this old post to whisper a hello to anyone who's still checking to see if we really will keep this going.

Oh yes, m'dear, we will! ;)


Erik said...

Yay. I haven't forgotten either and I'm glad to know you haven't forgotten. I have been having blog guilt recently, which is to say that I haven't had any time to write a new blog entry in several days because I have been so damn busy and I feel guilty about it. Because I want my readers to find something new everytime they come check my blog and, oy.

Bonnie said...

Ah, grasshoppah, that is where the "silly quiz post" helps out. People can find something new when they visit the blog AND then they can go away to the quiz site to take the quiz themselves, post their results on their blogs, and leave feeling satisfied, even though they haven't read a new thing from you *really* during their visit.

Brilliant, eh? ;)

So, when you're having blog guilt, do a quiz and say that your new thing was "discovering what kind of cookie" you are!

And then do/post something extra cool the next time. ;)

Back soon. LYMI!

Erik said...

Discovering what kind of cookie you are...that reminds me of the most awesome fortune cookie I have received in a really long time. I got this one the other day. It said:

"A project you have in mind will soon gain momentum."

And I thought, thank you, THAT'S a fortune!

Bonnie said...

You are the BEST kind of cookie. Like... a fig newton.

Now, wait.

That's not a slam.

That's a good thing (holy Martha Stewart, Batman).

It means you're filled with yummy good fruit stuffs (that's so healthy) and you're wrapped in the best, most buttery wrapper ever. And you convince everyone that you're GOOD FOR US. ;) But secretly, you're just filled with sugars and, well, good stuffs too.

Better than an Oreo.

Not as bad as a Twinkie.

(Note: I have STILL not forgotten about this comment-thread. I still have a plan. Oh yes, yes I do!)


Bonnie said...

BTW, if I didn't mention it elsewhere (or, hell, even if I did), THANKEE for changing your settings to include DATES in your comments.

Way more cooler. ;)

Oh, and, you've been invited to a party. Shhhhhh. ;)

Erik said...

Yeah, aren't the comments better now that they have dates with them???

I'm not sure if I can make it to the party, I have to be in Laguna beach that evening, but I'm going to try to move things around and make it work.


Bonnie said...

Leaving for a screening soon (see QoCC if you're interested), so I still haven't come back to really talk about the good stuffs (90210, yo), but I wanted to at least check in and mention that, now that I've outed myself on the BonBlogs about my intention to continue this dialogue, it shall happen.

Oh yes, it shall. ;)


Erik said...

Bonnie, it's so perfect that the title of this post has the word evesdropping in it because we have this semi-private conversation in a public place and now groovy new people from places like Canada (!) are coming over from your blog to mine and evesdropping in. I love it.

To all of my new readers, via Bonnie, I want to heartily welcome you to My Year of New Things. Feel free to stay for a while, and while you're here feel free to chime in about your favorite episode of 90210 or Sex and the City, or whatever you damn well please. There are no rules here at My Year of New Things.


Bonnie said...


I just can't freakin' believe that people are reading that entire post of MINE, much less following any of the links in it! LOL

Oh, you kooky Internets. I could just kiss you on the lips. If it weren't for all of the porn.

Bonnie said...

Okay, here we go. Wish me luck. This reply (in our awesomest, coolest, may-it-last-forever comment thread) has been in progress since BEFORE my computer died. Please, gentle readers, if I use terminology that has since become outdated due to the passage of so much time, forgive me.


You mentioned wanting this comment thread to continue until the end of time. Now, I think that's a smashing goal. I'm just wondering how we will deal with changes in technology, as we continue this exchange. I mean, certainly, just as we couldn't have imagined blogs a decade or so ago, or podcasts a few years ago, I suppose there could be some challenges to our ability to keep this going beyond your year of new things.

BTW, what will you call your blog after your year of new things is over? Or do you aspire to have year after year of new things? What a fun thing that would be!

How I Met Keith

Yeah. That's a better in-person story than an online story, although it is definitely "tellable" online, since it happened online. When you meet US (really hoping you're going to meet us both together at the you-know-what on the you-know-when), Keith will tell you "The Luckiest Man in the World" story, which he has three versions of (two minutes, ten minutes, and a half-hour or more, depending on how much Q&A you'd like). It's a really great story that starts with his whole life (as he knew it, then) falling apart and, within a month, then meeting me online, which would end up changing his life forever.

I know that reads all dramatic, but it actually is. It's also a sad and funny story and, if you believe in things like fate and loved ones who have passed away being able to direct traffic "down here" a little bit, it's even a bit eerie.

If we don't end up getting to meet you together in some environment where that story is easily told within some reasonable amount of time, I'll come back and share what I can here. Or, heck, maybe Keith could come over here and type it all up himself. Oh, wait. What am I thinking? Keith's an actor. He can't read. Dur.

Sex and the City

Absolutely, you are right. Certainly they didn't shoot EVERY scene twice. I misspoke (mistyped) on that one. Of course. And yes, I guess that would be true: that every episode I've fallen in love with is slightly different than every episode you've fallen in love with. I would guess it's like loving a certain play, raving about it, recommending that your NBF go see it, and then trusting that they're going to see the same show. They can't possibly, though, since the essence of live performance prevents that from being true. Every performance brings with it some new nuance (Would that be a newance?) and possible emotional response on the part of the consumer. Would say that it is quite possible that we BOTH need to see what the other is seeing, in order to truly know the level of greatness within each and every performance. Cooooool.

Boxed DVD set... on my Amazon wishlist. As are about 300 other things. Man, when I win the lottery, I am sooooo going shopping.

So, "The 'Ick' Factor" was on the other night when I started to blog about my Embracing Inefficiency epiphany. Man, what a good cry I had! Again.

The thing that really fascinates me, as I watch the SATC performances for the second, third, or fourth time now (I've certainly seen each episode at least once, but I'm only ABSOLUTELY SURE I've seen each one once), is how exceptional these actors are. I mean, yes, the writing is extraordinary and the characters are just so very well fleshed out that there's not a lot that good actors would HAVE to do in order to make it all meaningful. BUT... I have always heard that no one really liked Kim Cattrall. Or, at the very least, SJP didn't like her (perhaps even hated her). When I saw the scene in the above-mentioned episode the other night in which Kim and SJP are in the car, their characters discussing Samantha's diagnosis and upcoming surgery and treatment, I had to wonder how two women who allegedly didn't often get along could possibly be such fantastic actors as to make any of the sensationalistic tabloid stories blur into oblivion as we truly felt Carrie's compassion and concern over her friend's fate. I mean, it's one thing to forget you're watching actors delivering words created by writers for a moment from time to time because you know you're supposed to. It's quite another to forget you're watching actors about whom you've seen far too many a headline when their characters are at their most fragile and REALLY go there with them. Y'know, it's just not the same as watching Brad and Angelina will ever be. Sorry. That's just never going to look like anything other than a weak little man and a homewrecking hussy, no matter what their characters are up to. But I digress.

Beverly Hills, 90210

I am more than an expert. I am a freakshow. I truly cannot be stumped in 90210-the-Brenda-years trivia. It's a sickness. Of course, now that you know me a little better, you know that it is one of many. ;)

You said that you could see the homecoming float going up in flames. What you're quite likely remembering is something else going up in flames that same season: Dylan's dad's car (and, well, at the time we thought, anyway... his dad too). Since it's not the Steve/Val rave you're remembering from two seasons later, it's probably the car exploding in the Marina parking lot. Parking lot/driveway. I can see that. You let me know. Of course, you could've just created it all in your mind. Isn't that how Fan Fiction came to be?

Ah, dear sweet KiKi, you are a young one, aren't you? Wow! I think I was in college when 90210 premiered. Yes, in fact, I know I was. Wow. I'm ye olde. Anyway, you have mixed two character names, in saying who was your closest match. Gabby played Andrea Zuckerman. Torijob played Donna Martin.

Now, see, I too lived in the wrong zipcode (even though it was a fine neighborhood) than all of the cool/rich kids in high school. Certainly it wasn't on the scale of the OC-level dollars, but in Sandy Springs, Georgia, it was way cooler to live on the east side of Roswell Road. Me, nope. Just one mile on the west side, and at the end of the zone for North Springs High School. Man, those Dunwoody kids really hated sharing THEIR school with those of us in Sandy Springs. Of course, being the age that I am, that made me feel like Andi in "Pretty in Pink" much like you felt like Andrea (note the similar names) in 90210. Hmm. I didn't make my own prom dress or anything, but I definitely was the poor kid at the rich school, working two jobs after school and on weekends and doing my best to fit in, despite listening to the "weird" music and being, like, the only kid to live in a single-parent household.

Wow. Is that all we had to say about 90210 in this comment thread? I was so sure I had more questions to answer about fires and character names and other setting-the-record-straight-isms going on here. Hmm. See? Now I've gone and made up stuff! ABOUT THINGS HAPPENING ON OUR SHOW, KIKI! This is our show, here! Yay! We're famous!

Queen of Cactus Cove

Sooo bummed that you couldn't make it to the screening tonight (oh, dear GAWD it's like 4am as I'm typing this up and I was at a screening just hours ago and I cannot believe I am still at my computer this many hours after getting home). The trailer for the film is up at the site that's linked from the site I linked to in a comment I made on your post right here earlier today. Goodness, that was a convoluted sentence. Anyway, we'll figure out a way for you to see it. It'll be at Method Fest next month. Hey, did you sign up for my mailing list so that you could stay up on all things promotey? ;) I'm such a media whore. Wow. A starfucker media whore? That's just tooooo cool for plus-size!

House-sitting for Your Sister

How was it?

Wow. That was the shortest topic yet!

Agent's House for the Super Bowl

Okay, how cool is it that you have a relationship with your agent that makes it okay for you to be social and such? So cool! I am just now at the point in my career(s) where it's time to consider getting an agent or manager or attorney of somesuch. I had a deal memo to negotiate not too long ago that made it very awkward to be the "bad guy." I think there's something nice about having someone on payroll (or commission or retainer or whatever) to do such dirty work. ;) I have begun developing a relationship with an attorney who, when he "met me" on the phone (I was pursuing a client of his when I couldn't reach anyone at the client's agency), he asked a bit about me and then said he'd really like to get to know me better, since he repped a few producers, directors, and writers. He thought he might be able to do some packaging stuffs that might be beneficial for an up-and-coming casting director. I didn't even tell him about my weekly column or books or anything. Of course, I did drop him a copy of my latest book and "Queen of Cactus Cove" in the mail. What? Media whore who? Where?

Anyway, may come to you with advice on choosing a good agent (since I only ever did that as an actor a zillion years ago and seriously have no idea whether the criteria looks remotely similar for a writer-slash-otherwise-below-the-line type). Prep well. ;)

Okay, so you won $90! That is so damn cool! As is the rest of the stuff that you did in that day of new things. Man, you had a lot of new things that post/that day, didn't you? Cool, man. I once won $1350 on a Ron Gant homerun. My goodness, have I already told you that? Dearie me, I am just so sure I've now told you everything that's happened to me EVER that I can't keep it all straight. SEE HOW COOL IT IS TO BE EMBRACING INEFFICIENCY? I no longer have a clue whether I've told you a story and I DON'T CARE! I'm like a grandpa on a rocking chair, just tellin' stories and rockin' back and forth. Bitchin'. Bring me some lemonade and put some liquor in it. Greatness.

Scissor Sisters

So, I have a friend who's crazy about them. My musical soulmate. I've blogged about him, of course. Oh, PS, I've never met him IRL either! Man, I spend so much time invested in my online relationships. I wonder if my human-in-the-flesh friends ever get jealous. Oh well, who cares! I like to write more than I like to put on a bra and leave the house. Heeeeee. Anyway, he's been sending me "a song a day" for my iTunes ever since the big computer crashola. I am very excited. Even though I have a lot of music of my own to put into my iTunes, I'm always thrilled to get something from someone else. It's like getting a mix-tape from a crush. Man... nothin' like that! In FACT! Keith and I just bought a device that will--stand back technophobes, we're goin' analog here--allow me to take my mix-tapes from decades ago and since then and IMPORT THE MUSIC INTO MY IPOD! Yes, you read that right my fellow iPodian. I will be able to take music that was originally on a 45 or LP record and then put on a cassette tape (and played in my car stereo no fewer than three thousand times, I'm sure) and DIGITIZE IT so that I can have it in my iPod! Of course, there is plenty of room for failure (inconsistent levels, bad sound, pops, hisses, and crackled tape), but I DON'T CARE! I'm so excited to get some of my mix-tapes back into my "system." It's been so long since I've put a cassette into a tape deck (stupid Keith replaced my car stereo [when it died in 2003] with one that has a CD player instead of a cassette deck. HELLOOOOO! I DRIVE A SIXTEEN-AND-A-HALF-YEAR-OLD TWO-SEATER ROADSTER THAT HOPS AT EVERY PEBBLE IN THE ROAD. WHAT DO I WANT WITH A CD PLAYER? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL OF THESE BOOKS ON TAPE?!? Ugh! Men!) that I don't even know if those lonely mix-tapes will even still roll. But man, we're gonna try to make it happen. And I may just even scan in all of the hand-written-with-love liner notes from those homemade-with-love cassettes. Oh, I am sooooo looking forward to this project.

Suddenly, I am absolutely positively aware of how I will successfully avoid doing our corporate taxes on time. Yup. I have a much more important project stretched out before me.


Point is, if you'd like to send me some songs, I'm open. ;) I may even make you a mix-tape CD or podcast or somesuch!

Oh, okay, so Scissor Sisters. Here's the thing: I used to work for a corporate restaurant (fun fact: I was actually a corporate trainer for said restaurant. Yes, little Susie Policy got to travel the country, training younguns on how to be proper Chiliheads) and many songs I heard for the first time on our in-store "soundtrack" became favorites. I was turned on to some really good (obscure) stuff that way. And, working in college radio helped with that too.

That said... NO. I do not own the Scissor Sisters album. :( I feel shame. Help me, KiKi-wan. You're my only hope.

Self-Management for Actors Book Party

It was fun. Definitely. The folks at El Cholo saw Keith and I walking in a week later (with two friends) and said, "Oh, no! Not another party!" It was funny. We assured them we were a party of four and that would not change. They love us there. Thank gawd! Anyway, sorry you couldn't make it. Glad you enjoyed the photos. We'll do proper in-store signings and such once the books are actually "out on the street." That took a few months with the first edition, so I'm guessing that'll be the case this time around too. But truly, these quick-no-time-to-plan gatherings when the books first hit town are always my favorite. I am still shocked at how many people were able to join us on such short notice on this one.

I'm glad your Hollywood dinner meeting went well. How did the postponed pitch go? Well I hope! I liked your comment about working to "take over this town." I like to say that I'm building an empire. Indeed, I plan to out-Oprah Oprah by the time I'm 50.

There I go stroking my imaginary evil handlebar moustache again!

Totally agree with you on Amy Aquino. What HAS she been doing lately? Fun fact: "Working Girl" is one of my favorite "stop down" movies. The Yahoo group I often reference (somesuch-whatnot) spawned from another (no longer in existence) email group (the one on which Keith and I met) which had a phrase about a movie that would make you "stop down." Meaning, no matter what you were doing, if you flipped past a particular movie, you would stop what you're doing and watch the rest of the movie, no matter how many times you've seen it. "Working Girl" was on my top ten list. I swear, I don't know what it is about that movie (oh, sure I do. It's the underdog winning thing, of course. And Carly Simon's song. And the shoulder pads), but I just love it!

Freaks and Geeks

So, you know I have the series on DVD, right? Birthday present last year from the hubby. We are going to have such a party when we get together, me and you!

Show and Tell

Email me your essay! I want to read your stuffs!

Discovering What Kind of Cookie You Are

I like that fortune you got. Very cool! I can no longer eat fortune cookies (gluten), which sucks, but I still like to read a good fortune. The most-oft-received fortune of my life has been:

"You long to see the great pyramids of Egypt."

I mean, I guess that's true and all, but I got that fortune like five times over the course of three years or so. It was very bizarre to me. OH! Speaking of far-off places (y'know, like Egypt), I had a blog visitor from Venezuela this week. What?!? Who is reading me THERE?!? Wow!

So your visitor from Canada was probably Suzer. She's awesome. Her son is famous. And she's hot. And she loves to comment on blogs, so you'll probably get to know her too (of course, I'm totally baiting her with this whole paragraph).

Anyway, thanks for welcoming all of the folks coming over to your place from my place. That's so cool of you. Of course, I'm imagining "all" will be a small number, but just the same, that's very sweet and hospitable of ya. Hey... speaking of being raised right, where is that punkass mama of yours?

Hey, when's dinner?


Erik said...

So much to say.


But first. I must say. How horrified I am. TO have forgotten that Andrea's last name was Zuckerman, and replacing it with Donna's last name Martin.

I'm embarrassed. Because I am not even close to being a 90210 scholor like yourself, but I shoulda known that at least.

It's just further proof that I had a stroke in my sleep a couple of years ago and some of the synapsese got screwed up.

Bonnie said...

Yoooooo hooooo. ;) *wave*

Erik said...

How much do I love you?


Erik said...

And I still have to reply to your last epic comment with an epic comment of my own. Don't think I've forgotten. I haven't. I will be back.

Bonnie said...

You and ah-nold. ;)

I have total and complete faith in you, my dear.

Just came by to say hello to the old thread like it's an old friend on bedrest, in need of a little howdy. ;)

I'm mental, like that.

Erik said...

I'm saying hi to this old post too, so that it doesn't get lonely while waiting for my sorry ass to write another epic comment.

Bonnie said...


Bonnie said...

TEN DAYS 'TIL OUR DATE!!!!!! I am so so so so so so so hopping up and down with excitement!!!!!

Erik said...

Only ten days?!?? That's right around the corner!

Bonnie said...

I KNOW!!! What are we going to WEAR?!?

Bonnie said...

Re: comment left by you on 2/06/2006 01:37:27 AM item number 12, did you notice that Amy Aquino is in the new NBC show "Heist"?


(Damn, my occasionally-photographic memory is GOOOOOOOOD today.)

Bonnie said...

Not sure if you watch LOST (I don't), but I saw this post and thought you might want to at least check it out. Hee!

I so want to marry hairy Harry!

Bonnie said...

Still no. :(

Bonnie said...

'member me?

Bonnie said...

Now see... I thought your comment about how there's no such thing as too many comments meant you were secretly telling me there was a new comment from you here.


I haven't given up, though. Even if finishing this comment thread is your 365th new thing in your YoNTs, it will happen.

Oh yes, it will.

Bonnie said...


Bonnie said...


Erik said...