Wednesday, January 04, 2006

New Thing #6: I have a friggin' goatee

I have never had a goatee before. Until now.

The before picture:

(Notice the wimpy, cheap, little pink razor I'm holding? Now notice all of the hair on my face. Yeah. You're probably telling yourself that razor isn't gonna cut it, and you're right. But, see, it's all I could find in the house. I used to have this really great razor that I loved, loved, loved, and, well, I've been telling people that I'm growing a winter beard, but honestly, the truth is, the real reason I haven't been shaving the bush on my face is that I lost the razor that I loved, loved, loved. Yep, I lost it somewhere in my car. And I keep forgetting to go to the store to buy a new one. And then when I'm at the store, I forget to buy a new one. You know how it is. So then, tonight, when I decided that my New Thing would be a goatee, I thought I had a bag of those blue bic razors somewhere, but all I could find was this sorry little pathetic razor. Still, I didn't want to go to the store, so I started shaving. Now why didn't I just go to the store? Why didn't I just go and get a new razor before trying to use this poor, little thing? Why? This razor was made for, like, trimming eyebrows, or something, not for shaving a bush off of some dude's face. Anyway, after struggling with the pink razor for about twenty minutes, I finally went to the store and bought a real razor; then I came home and finished the job.)

And now here's me with the brand spankin' new goatee:

I haven't decided if I like it or not. I'm gonna walk around in it for a coupla days and see how it feels on my face.


Anonymous said...

That's quite the amusing tale!

Gina said...

That's some beard you got there!

ok, i have some more suggestions of stuff you can do:
bunjee jump
win big in vegas
ride a horse
shave a cat
have a kissing booth
be a sanwich artist at subway
deliver pizza
pay it forward
run/walk for a charity
learn sign language
write a whole play on an old typewriter
go to the grand canyon
say the opposite of what you mean all day
practise fake crying in the mirror
do a jauger bomb at pierce street
be an extra in a JLo video
1 day of only saying "welcome to the oc bitch"
dress the opposite of the weather
wear your clothes backwards (a la kriss kross)
win publishers clearing house
go on The Real World
do a beer bong
take a one day cpr class
rent a boat from balboa and go fishing
dance with "Ellen" on her show

Any of these spark some interest?

jenny said...

I think you look a bit like Edward Norton w/ the goatee. So maybe you should write a fan letter to Edward Norton saying that people are constantly telling you how much you look like Edward Norton.

Unless you've already done that.

Erik said...

Gina--I'm going to make another to do list soon and a lot of those ideas are goin' on it.

Jenny--I've never been told I look like Edward Norton! Wow, thank you, I like that so much more than Jeff Goldbloom. I have been getting Jeff Goldbloom since 1993 when Jurassic Park came out. Maybe I will have to keep the goatee just to stave off Goldbloom comparisons.

soleclaw said...

Wow! Quite a transformation! I think the goatee is charming, and I don't generally like goatees. You have very kind eyes too.

Being a subway sandwich artist is worth it for the shirt alone...all their shirts have "sancwich artist" embroidered on the chest. How hot would that be?

Erik said...

Nichole, thank you for the compliments. I'm actually starting to enjoy my goatee.

And yes, that "sandwich artist" shirt would definitely be hot. I wonder if they let me be a sandwich artist for a day, if they would let me keep the shirt too?