Last week, I alluded to a fairly big New Thing that I had done and I said I’d blog about it later and then I got really busy writing other things. Anyway, here I am, finally blogging about the big New Thing from last week.New Thing #62: I came out to my brothers. Finally.
Which means I am now gay to everyone in the entire freaking world. (Or, you know, all the people I know.) (And lots of people I don't know, too, I guess.) (I mean, I'm gay to you.)
I don't know why it took me so long to come out to them. There was just this period of time where it was like, "oh man, who else do I have to come out to?" And they got lost in the shuffle. I got tired of having the conversation. But then last week, one morning, I just woke up and I was literally like, "geezus, we're all practically adults now, just trust them and do it already."
So I went to my computer, right then and there, and sent them an email.
Which may sound weird--doing it via email--but it was really kind of perfect. I emailed them and then we had dinner the next night and we talked (a little, not much, but everyone was cool and normal) and now I don’t have this thing hanging over my head.
My brothers are really three rockin’ dudes.
Here’s what the email said…
*
Dear brothers,
I miss you guys--we need to hang out soon. I want to let you know a few things:
1. Remember that new years resolution I was talking about making? About doing 365 new things this year? Well I'm doing it. I'm on number 50something right now.
2. I have a blog, if you want to check it out, to keep track of the New Things I'm doing this year, it's My Year of New Things. (I tried doing one new thing a day, but that got too difficult, so I also write about random other things on the blog.)
3. I'm gay. (Maybe you guys already know that, but in case you don't, there ya go.)
4. You don't need to reply to this email. I know the gay thing isn't really an issue and doesn't change anything and we're all cool, I just hate having the "I'm gay" conversation and I thought it was time to get it out in the open.
5. Oh, also, and this is crazy, but: x xxxxxxx xxx xx xx xxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxx xxxx xxx xx xxx xxxxxxx, xx xxxxxxxxxxx xxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxxx-xx-xxx xxxxx Uxx.
6. That's it. Miss you guys.
Love,
your bro,
Erik
*
(Sorry I censored #5, but #5 is something I don’t talk about on the blog.) (I like to maintain at least a smidgen of mystery.) (Unless we’re talking about bowel movements—then I’m an open book.)
P.S. I don't have any group pictures scanned into my computer, so I nabbed the above photos from various places (i.e. MySpace profiles, etc.) and put that little collage together, but that's me and my bros.
*
P.P.S. an UPDATE: (4/14/06) So I just got a scanner and I've been going through boxes and boxes of old photos. Ninety percent of the photos I have in all of these boxes are from college. Apparently I took A LOT of pictures in college and I have barely taken any since. But I just found a funny picture of "the brothers" from 2001 that I thought I would add to this post:
37 comments:
Awesome.
Oh, and you and your bros are all so cute.
And I was first.
Again.
Seriously.
GOOD FOR YOU!! I have to agree with Bonnie... y'all are a group of hotties!!!
Y'know... I was the first one in my family my sister came out to and it didn't surprise me at all - I kind of knew, it was just weird to hear her say it. I would imagine that's how your brothers felt about it too. Big deal/not-so-big, if that makes sense.
Anyway big hugs to you - and your hottie brothers!!
Erik, you are so awesome! And your brothers are awesome too! Good for you!
Lanie
Erik, first off, I am having "no way!" and "oh my gosh!" fits over here...I can't believe your brothers...they're all grown up! I'm having 2 flash backs. One is of that super cute photo of you fishing with them and they're tiny. The other is back when we were in high school when we went to pizza hut with them and you're Mom. They were so little back then! It was the first time "the girlfriend" was meeting your family and I wanted to make a good impressions so I bought your brothers little toys, remember that? And I rememeber you gave me this really long letter that was really sweet and well written and beautiful. It was a good day. I didn't have to bust my a.k.
And second, I'm so proud of you! I think it's awesome that you finally got that off your chest and you're now a free gay man! Wait, that didn't sound quite right. You know what I mean. Don't you feel liberated? It's all out in the open. No feeling a bit guilty. No treading quietly. Just you, being you wonderful self.
You're a hot sexy bitch and I love you!
Erik,
You are practically perfect in every way.
This entry goes in the greatest hits.
Love,
Lindsay
Thirteenth!
BONNIE: we ARE cute, aren't we?
OBLIQUITY (Albert): Thank you. I enjoy being an older (not always wiser) big brother. Actually, I'm not really the big brother anymore--when we all stand side by side now, I think I'm the third shortest. Which is CRAZY. Fortunately, I will never be the shortest. Josh will forever be the short one. (He's tall, but by comparison he really is the midget of the bunch.) (Sorry, Josh.) (But you know it's true.) (You're a midget.) (Practically.)
REBECCA: big hugs to you too, and I will tell my brothers that you think we're all hotties. I feel like my brothers reacted the same way you reacted to your sister. I mean, I think they all basically knew, so it really wasn't a big deal.
DAD: thank you for continually nudging me to do this.
LANIE: YOU are awesome. I just read your blog, by the way, and you totally have my support. I think you're being smart to change your eating habits like you're doing. I should really do the same.
GINA: I totally feel the same seeing pictures of your brothers and your sister! How does time move so fast? How do we get so old so quick? How, how, how? It's so freaking weird. I totally remember when you met the brothers and brought them toys. I'm so happy you're still in my life. And I cannot believe you still have that picture of us fishing.
Lindsay, thank you so much. I cannot wait to see you at the end of the month when you're in LA.
URP: I am going to see you tomorrow morning. Or, I am going to walk by your desk and we're going to share coy glances.
Lindsay, I meant to capitalize your name in the above comment. Usually I write individual comments to everyone but I thought I was being a comment hog or something so I thought I would send one comment that had all of my individual comments in it, and I like uniformity, but I'm not used to doing one big comment, and I now see that I capped everyones names except for yours. Sorry.
Erik!
You and your brothers are all so goodlooking! And I'm so happy for you, for finally getting it off your chest. Even if they all already knew, saying it makes all the difference.
Every time I havent commented in a while I want to explain myself to you, as if you're wondering where I am, which i'm sure you're not. But anyway, let me tell you anyway just because I feel the need to tell you, just so that you know, that i'm in the middle of final exams, and i'm busy all the time with studying and pretending to study and thinking about studying. But I read your blog everyday! And I find it so entertaining and i'm always thinking of the comments I will make and then I dont get the time and by the time I do get the time you've already posted new things and it just doesn't make sense to comment on the old stuff. ANYWAY, I just wanted to say that you seem like such an awesome person and so down to earth and genuine that I think there should be more people in the world like you :) And that's it for now, because I have 24 hours to learn a month of psych material...boo!
-Komal
I don't even know your brothers but somehow, I knew they'd take your latest new thing just as they did.
And now, I must say, DAMN! I wish I was still slutting around and could jump on one of those suckers!
Stumbled upon you coincidently - what a totally cool way to do it! I applaud you, and more power to you... and your guys... seems like they are just as cool :o)
oh. my. god. i cannot get over how big your bros are!! holy shit...how long has it been since i last saw them?? anyway, i'm proud of you...you're awesome and i love you! hugs :)
Komal: Thank you so much for all of the compliments. I love that you love my blog. Especially when you should be studying. It sounds like you have A LOT of studying to do and I am afraid that my blog is keeping you from it and you should STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER RIGHT NOW and GO STUDY. Okay, no, you can hang out here on my blog for a little bit longer, THEN go study some more. Oh, and if you ever have an urge to comment on an entry but then some voice in your head says "it just doesn't make sense to comment on the old stuff," tell that voice to shut up because I live for comments. True story. (True story!) Now go learn a month of psych material!
Colleen, I'm happy that you're happy and not slutting around anymore, but if you were, I would totally be happy to know that you were slutting around with my brothers because they're all great guys and you're a great gal. I'm just sayin' I'd approve.
Number 3? That is so funny!
Congrats. I'm glad you did that and even more happy that your brothers took it all in stride.
I think it's funny, however, that it was number 3 on your email.
The more I read your blog, the more fun you sound!
Congratulations again!
Heidi--thank you! I just went to your blog and saw that you're doing the "12 of 12" project. I'm doing it too--I love your photos. The second one with you putting on make-up is my favorite--that's an awesome photo. I'm nervous that my photos are going to be boring because my day hasn't been all that exciting.
Good for you. That's way awesomer than the way I came out to my brother.
Okay, so this is not a comment to anyone in particular, I'm just sitting in a coffeeshop right now and I just had this really awkard moment, I was kind of spacing out and I looked at this woman and we had eye contact and then I did that thing where you have eye contact with a stranger and then you just look away really quickly and pretend that you didn't just have eye contact with that stranger, and then I felt really goofy for looking away and I looked back at her so that she would know that I wasn't afraid of a little eye contact, and then her friend thought that I was evesdropping on them and her friend was like "do you do that too?" and then I was like, "oh, i don't know what you're talking about, i just had eye contact with you and then I broke the eye contact and then I felt weird about breaking the eye contact, so, um..." and then they both looked at me like, "what the fuck are you talking about?" but of course they didn't say that, and then I looked back at my computer and one of the women said, "look at him, he's blushing!" and I don't think I was blushing, but I think I might have started to blush after they accused me of blushing, and I think they thought I was flirting with them, but I so was not flirting with them, and, well, anyway, do you know what I mean about the "breaking eye contact with a stranger" thing? It was an awkward moment, that's all. And then I almost took a picture of them to commemmorate it (there are totally too many m's in commemmorate but I'm not going to try to figure ut which m's are too many right now) but I didn't want them to think I was even more of a freak than they already thought I was--no, that's not true at all--I really don't care if they think I'm a freak--I think I really just didn't want them to think that I was flirting with them any more than they already thought.
So. Anyway.
Jessica (AQR), how long has it been since you've seen my brothers? Probably my college graduation??? Or my high school graduation??? Whichever, it's definitely been a long time.
Love you too.
Dear Dave,
I am A LOT of fun.
Dear Michael: Thank you. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. And I like the word awesomer. I like bastardizing words and making 'em better. It's the awesomest.
There's this sign off of the 134 freeway in Pasadena for the "Fuller Academy -- Next Exit" and I've always had this fantasy of going to a sign shop and making two very real lookin' signs and posting one about a mile before the Fuller Academy sign and another about a mile after the Fuller Academy sign, so that when you were driving down the 134 Freeway to Pasadena, you would see a sign that reads:
"Full Academy -- Next Exit"
and then you would see the real sign that reads:
"Fuller Academy -- Next Exit"
and then you would see a sign that reads:
"Fullest Academy -- Next Exit"
Maybe it's stupid, but I always thought that would be a really funny practical joke to play on Pasadena.
except a bunch of people won't ever get the joke when they get off at the first exit.
and what the hell are you talking about? i was skimming - did i miss something?
xo
lindsay
Lindsay, you didn't miss anything. My whole "Full/Fuller/Fullest Academy" joke was just something I've fantasized about doing every time I've ever driven to Pasadena for the past ten years or so. I don't really know why I decided to tell that anecdote in this comment thread. It just happened.
xoxo
I love that you blogged about this. It magnifies the step you have taken--the all out coming out. You make it seem easy, but we all know it's not. I love you.
Mom
I did something like your 12 of 12 here.
I agree that you made something that was really hard look very easy. Well done.
And I think your Full//Fuller//Fullest idea is brilliant. It's something that would make me snork-laugh and then go back, take photos, and blog about later.
Awww...Erik, I have a fantasy about coming out to my mom (I mean obviously I'm not gay, but in other ways), and that she wouldn't be hurt or worried or tell me I was wrong or love me any less and I know I was still a good person and we could just, you know, chill, and that SHE would come out to ME and tell me all the things she has stored up inside of her without judging herself. But SIGH...I don't have a PAM, I have a RAM (Religious-Ass Mom).
And then I have another fantasy about e-mailing John Patrick Shanley and asking him for advice on my long ass monologue (since he's an expert) and giving him the link to wildinbed.blogspot.com where he will find pictures of us licking condoms and recommending which ones taste the best and then him actually going and buying condoms based on our mutual flavor recommendation!
I'll respond to your comment about my reading tomorrow...too tired.
G Power.
AWESOME. So proud! Love you!
(PS. I think the last time I saw all your brothers was when we were in college and they've been stuck in my head as these little boys. I can't get over this collage of tall badass men!)
Badass men from a punkass mom. Perfect.
LOVE the add-on photos. Y'all's a whole mess of punkass kids!
Don't we freaking rock? You know, they have a different Punk-Ass Mom, but both of my mom's are pretty dang cool.
Erik, that makes so much sense! I had wanted to comment how it doesn't make sense that a family who named their boys Josh, Matt, Mike, and Erik would spell Erik with a "k".
*giggle*
Christy, his PAM is way more PA than the M of his PABs.
I'm guessing. ;)
Bonnie, I think you're right! It's almost as if she's not even a PAM so much as a VAM (Viking-Ass Mom).
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