Friday, April 14, 2006

I love my new scanner so much, we just got married

Oh lordy, lordy, (I just typed the words "lordy, lordy," and they reminded me of Jack Tripper, which reminded me that I never winnowed my list of Greatest TV Characters down to a Top Ten. Obviously Jack Tripper is on the list. I will winnow and publish soon), I love this new scanner I have.

It's awesome. It's rocktastic.

I just scanned a whole bunch of pictures into my computer and I thought I would share some random shots, just 'cuz I like to share.

(1) Wet Eyeliner, London, 2003:

This shot was taken before going out one night in London. Earlier in the day, I decided that I wanted to wear some eyeliner that night, because eyeliner is hot, and so I set out to find some eyeliner. You'd think this would be an easy task. But it wasn't. I couldn't find any eyeliner anywhere in the whole god-dang city. Finally, I found some eyeliner at Harrod's. It cost 15 pounds. It was wet eyeliner. It got all over my face. I wore it once.

(2) The Bates Motel, Universal Studios Backlot, 2001:

This is Jessica and me at the Bates Motel, outside the room that Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) stayed in, in Psycho (obviously). We're acting like we just heard something suspicious.

(3) Donna Hayward, Beverly Hills, 1998:

Lara Flynn Boyle was nice until I mentioned that I loved her in Twin Peaks. The second I uttered the words "Twin Peaks," she literally turned and walked away from me. It was like, chatter chatter chatter, pleasant conversation, photo taking, more chatter, "I loved you in Twin Peaks," boom, gone.

(4) Nadine Hurley, Glendale, 1999:

I was working as a host at Louise's Trattoria. This was the summer before my senior year of college. Wendy Robie walks into the restaurant. I start to freak out. Oh my god. It's Nadine Hurley. I could not be more excited if I tried. I want to say something to her, I want to tell her how cool she is, I want to tell her I've watched the Twin Peaks in its entirety 5 times and she devastates me in the last episode of season 1 (when she takes the pills) and she devastates me in the last episode of the series (when she remembers who she is). But I don't want to interupt her dinner, I don't want to be rude. I call about 15 people. "Should I say something to her, or just let her be?" My co-workers are annoyed with me--I'm not working, I'm not making them their coffee drinks, I'm just obsessing over Wendy Robie.

Finally, she finishes eating, and as she's leaving, I ask her: "Excuse me, are you Wendy Robie?" She's surprised that I know her name--she often gets recognized from Twin Peaks, but people don't often know her name. She could not be nicer if she tried. We talk for about ten minutes. I am a total Twin Peak Freak and Wendy Robie has made my entire stint at Louise's Trattoria worth it.

(5) Me or Jeff? You decide. Beverly Hills, 1998:

People are always saying that I look like Jeff Goldblum. I don't see it. Neither does he.

(6) Rawking Our Hawks, Eagle Rock, 2000:

This is me and my frequent blog commenter Joe Chandler. We just gave ourselves mohawks. (With the help of Uma, a fellow frequent blog commenter, and Tyler, who has never commented on my blog.) (But I don't even know if he knows about the blog, so I won't hold it against him.) You can't really tell that we have mohawks in this picture, but we did, and we're so freaking punk I wanna die.

(7) Graduation Day, Eagle Rock, 2000:

This is me and my Granny Joanny. It's one of my favorite pictures ever. I just graduated from college, which is why I have a tassle hanging from my mohawk.


Bonnie said...

1. I'm first.

2. Is gramma PAM's mom? 'cause they look a way lot alike.


4. Congrats to you and your scanner. Here's some rice thrown upon you!

Erik said...

1. Second!

2. Granny J is PAM's step-mom.


4. Thank you, we're going to Italy for our honeymoon.

Bonnie said...

Holly Cow! Did you JUST post that reply? I seriously JUST came back to check and it's like the EXACT timestamp of like NOW.


Bonnie said...

*giggle* (re: your About Me paragraph)

Bonnie said...

Oh, and you don't look like Jeff Goldblum to my eyes. But what do I know?

Okay, I'm gone now. Naptime!

Erik said...

I'm gone now too! I'm late! I'm not Jeff Goldblum! I'm still here, but I'm gone! Oh, and in response to your comment on the google thread: I swear I did NOT make that search! Honest to goodness.

christy said...

I'm 7th. According to Meet the Fockers, I still get a ribbon that says "7th".

Actually I'm 3rd. Bronze.

Erik, you have such a versatile look, like a supermodel.

3) Lara Flynn Boyle is a bitch. She probably thinks she was a heffer in Twin Peaks and that's why she can't deal with people saying nice things about it.

4) You do not look like Jeff Goldblum. I mean maybe more than any other celebrity, but not really at all.

5) I do not look too much like Katie Holmes OR Kristin Davis OR Carla Gugino OR Lee Remick although people say I do a lot.

6) People are obsessed with saying people look like some celebrity. Even when its a stretch.

7) I am bitching right now about being compared to incredibly beautiful women.

christy said...

I think "heffer" is actually spelled "heifer". I don't know why because you pronounce it "heffer".

Erik said...


Sorry, okay.

Christy, thank you for calling me a potential supermodel. You know I'm obsessed with America's Next Top Model. So it's a high compliment. Tyra likes unique weird looks. Typically pretty people don't make good models. Oddly pretty people do. I'm going to try to be the first male contestant on ANTM.

3) I am sad that Lara Flynn Boyle isn't nicer. Because I LOVED LOVED LOVED her as Donna. I mean, I guess you could argue that Donna was kind of a bitch, but she was dealing with a lot--her best friend had just gotten murdered and even though she was dealing with that, she was also dealing with this major love that she had to keep secret and we only saw, like, three weeks of her life (each episode covered roughly a day), so she had many reasons to be melodramatic and bitchy (AND she was still a teen! the hormones! the horrors!), but STILL. STILL. I still wish that she had been nicer.

4) I've been getting the Jeff Goldblum comparison since 1992 when Jurassic Park came out. The only other "celebrity comparison" I've ever received is Seth Rogan. But only when I have facial hair, and more specifically when I have a goatee.

5) I totally see the Kristen Davis comparison. Sorry, but it's a good comparison! Charlotte! Me loves me some Charlotte.

6) Stop yer bitching, you're gorgeous.

christy said...

Awww...there really is nothing quite like a compliment from a gay man (these gay guys at a club told me once I had great legs and really cut up the dance floor...I swear I could have died and gone to heaven).

Oh and speaking of Charlotte, I really, really hope your new scanner almost hit you by a car or was your divorce attorney.

joe chandler said...

is that a combination mohawk/armpit photo?

I'm honored to be pictured on your blog. I'm honored that one of your "new things" isn't, get a mohawk, because you already did it with me. I miss my mohawk and I want it back.

Top 10 TV Characters:
1. Kramer - Seinfeld - Even in bad episodes he'll make you belly laugh at least once.
2. Father Jack - Father Ted - this is the part where I show off that I watch British comedies. Doesn't that make me cool?
3. Alan Partridge - Again, british.
4. Borat - Ali G - Before the second season it was a tie between Borat and Ali, then Borat took it to another level.
5. Agent Dale Cooper - This is an easy call for me, but I love all the rest of them too.
6. The Tick(Animated)
7. Someone from the Simpsons(probably Homer, but all the fringe characters should be mentioned too)
8. Jeremy - Sport's Night - Just a great show.
9. Whatever Justin Long's character was on "Ed" (I looked it up, Warren Cheswick).
10. Buster - AD

There isn't really an order to that list, and it's probably not accurate, but it was high time I posted something. So I did what I always do, procrastinate and then post a half ass list without thinking about it. Now i'm going to look at your original list and be reminded about shows I really like and have to add stuff to it.

Oh, jeez.

Erik said...

The return of Joe Chandler!

Bonnie said...



Bonnie said...

(Oh, pooh. I was totally pointing at Christy's comment, but an old version of the page must've been in my cache, since I didn't see the two more recent comments. Duh.)

Never mind me.

Erik said...

Christy, obviously we'd rather my new scanner was my divorce attorney than that it almost hit me by a car because:

Almost hit me by a car = Trey, which = Once played Dale Cooper, yes, but also = Impotent


Was my divorce attorney = Harry = Surprisingly sexy, and also = Future Babydaddy

Erik said...

I really worked on those equations, like, really hard, and I don't know how much sense they make.

Erik said...

Joe Chandler, a proper response:

I have never seen the shows that take up #2, #3, #4, #6, #8, and #9 on your list.

Are you still my friend?

Erik said...

Bonnie, we were too fast for you! That's a first!

christy said...

Not to mention...ewww...BUNNY would be your mother-in-law!

Did Charlotte actually get pregnant!? I didn't see most of the last season, I thought they just got puppies and were "okay" with that. That's so great if they got pregnant!!

Oh and could you open that e-card I sent you? I HOPE's kind of mortifying but it makes me giggle.

My mom also apparently made EMPTY TOMB cookies for Easter. My sister informed me of this and I said well, she could no longer make cross-shaped cookies since she mailed me her cross-shaped cookie cutter.

Gina said...

OMG! Your mohawk was f*Cking fantastic! No half ass mohawk for you. You went balls to the wall. Loves it! You're a sexy bitch!

joe chandler said...


Yes, I am still your friend.

The only ones you really need to see are #3 and #4.

I have DVDs, maybe after the spaghetti throwing I can educate you.

Angela said...

This is only tangentially related to this post, but husband-Eric saw Kyle MacLachlan at work on Friday. He mentioned this casually at dinner while Aimie was visiting our table at the Lotus, and I was like, "How could you go all day without telling me that you saw Kyle MacLachlan when you KNOW that Twin Peaks is only like my FAVORITE TV SHOW OF ALL TIME???"

Oh, and Aims said we had to remember to tell you because, you know, Twin Peaks.

Erik said...

Ahhhhhhhh I am late, I cannot reply to these comments right now...aahhhhhhhh...but, Joe, I'm actually not sure if that's a combo mohawk/armpit project photo. If it is, then it would be in my armpit album. I will have to double check and I will let you know.

As far as the TV thing goes, I'm glad you're still my friend.

AND ANGELA!!!! Dale Cooper!!!!!! Eric saw Dale Cooper!!?!!?!!!!!!@!!!!

Erik said...

Oh, and Angela, I know you haven't seen My So-Called Life, but I really love that you share your name with the heroine from MSCL (Angela Chase) because you're one of my favorite real people and she's one of my favorite fictional people and I just think it's nice and lovely that you're both Angelas.

Is that weird? Whatev. xo

christy said...

I just took this Twin Peaks quiz which told me I was Agent Dale Cooper which means.

1) Your scanner is Harry = you are Charlotte = I look like you = I look like Jeff Goldblum

but also that

2) I am Dale Cooper = I almost hit you by a car = I was your first husband = I am impotent

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Bonnie said...

Wow. A repeat customer/spammer. :\