I love my new scanner so much, we just got married

Oh lordy, lordy, (I just typed the words "lordy, lordy," and they reminded me of Jack Tripper, which reminded me that I never winnowed my list of Greatest TV Characters down to a Top Ten. Obviously Jack Tripper is on the list. I will winnow and publish soon), I love this new scanner I have.

It's awesome. It's rocktastic.

I just scanned a whole bunch of pictures into my computer and I thought I would share some random shots, just 'cuz I like to share.

(1) Wet Eyeliner, London, 2003:

This shot was taken before going out one night in London. Earlier in the day, I decided that I wanted to wear some eyeliner that night, because eyeliner is hot, and so I set out to find some eyeliner. You'd think this would be an easy task. But it wasn't. I couldn't find any eyeliner anywhere in the whole god-dang city. Finally, I found some eyeliner at Harrod's. It cost 15 pounds. It was wet eyeliner. It got all over my face. I wore it once.

(2) The Bates Motel, Universal Studios Backlot, 2001:

This is Jessica and me at the Bates Motel, outside the room that Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) stayed in, in Psycho (obviously). We're acting like we just heard something suspicious.

(3) Donna Hayward, Beverly Hills, 1998:

Lara Flynn Boyle was nice until I mentioned that I loved her in Twin Peaks. The second I uttered the words "Twin Peaks," she literally turned and walked away from me. It was like, chatter chatter chatter, pleasant conversation, photo taking, more chatter, "I loved you in Twin Peaks," boom, gone.

(4) Nadine Hurley, Glendale, 1999:

I was working as a host at Louise's Trattoria. This was the summer before my senior year of college. Wendy Robie walks into the restaurant. I start to freak out. Oh my god. It's Nadine Hurley. I could not be more excited if I tried. I want to say something to her, I want to tell her how cool she is, I want to tell her I've watched the Twin Peaks in its entirety 5 times and she devastates me in the last episode of season 1 (when she takes the pills) and she devastates me in the last episode of the series (when she remembers who she is). But I don't want to interupt her dinner, I don't want to be rude. I call about 15 people. "Should I say something to her, or just let her be?" My co-workers are annoyed with me--I'm not working, I'm not making them their coffee drinks, I'm just obsessing over Wendy Robie.

Finally, she finishes eating, and as she's leaving, I ask her: "Excuse me, are you Wendy Robie?" She's surprised that I know her name--she often gets recognized from Twin Peaks, but people don't often know her name. She could not be nicer if she tried. We talk for about ten minutes. I am a total Twin Peak Freak and Wendy Robie has made my entire stint at Louise's Trattoria worth it.

(5) Me or Jeff? You decide. Beverly Hills, 1998:

People are always saying that I look like Jeff Goldblum. I don't see it. Neither does he.

(6) Rawking Our Hawks, Eagle Rock, 2000:

This is me and my frequent blog commenter Joe Chandler. We just gave ourselves mohawks. (With the help of Uma, a fellow frequent blog commenter, and Tyler, who has never commented on my blog.) (But I don't even know if he knows about the blog, so I won't hold it against him.) You can't really tell that we have mohawks in this picture, but we did, and we're so freaking punk I wanna die.

(7) Graduation Day, Eagle Rock, 2000:

This is me and my Granny Joanny. It's one of my favorite pictures ever. I just graduated from college, which is why I have a tassle hanging from my mohawk.