Friday, April 14, 2006

#64: a new attitude, a.k.a. "saying shit out loud"

I have this new thing I'm doing--I guess you could call it a new attitude, but that's not really right. It's more like a new philosophy. It's connected to the whole idea of Positive Thinking.

Let's call it "The Power of Saying Shit Out Loud."

I'm sure people have written books about this idea, so I'm not trying to pretend this is anything new for anyone other than me. But just yesterday, I was really tired and it was 3 p.m. and I hadn't had lunch yet, and then I said to Jessica: "I'm too tired to even eat. I wish someone would literally put the food in my mouth." And then today, I spent the whole morning running errands (like, oh, filing my taxes, because I'm a Last Minute Betty when it comes to things like taxes) and then I stopped by my mom's house and she literally walked up to me and said "try this" and before I could even ask her what it was, she was spooning food into my mouth.

It's the Power of Saying Shit Out Loud, people. It works.

Like, here's another example: A few weeks ago, I was reading Premiere Magazine and there was this picture of the cast of "Friends With Money" at Sundance that I really wanted to blog about, but I didn't have a scanner and so I was like "I wish I have a scanner," and, hello, today I just got access to a scanner.

The Power of Saying Shit Out Loud. (If I keep repeating that phrase, you're going to think I'm in a cult or something, but I promise you I'm not in a cult. I'm just really happy to have access to a scanner because it means I can blog about this picture of the "Friends With Money" cast.)

Look at this picture:

Do you see anything weird about this picture? Okay, before I point out what's weird about this picture, in case you haven't noticed it yourself, I want to lay out our cast of characters. In the back row, from left, we have: Jason Isaacs, writer-director Nicole Holofcener, and Greg Germann; in the front row, from left, we have: Simon McBurney, Catherine Keener, Jennifer Aniston, and Scott Caan.

Now look at Jennifer Aniston's lap. There is a hand in her lap. It's a man's hand. And it's not Scott Caan's. SO WHO'S FUCKING HAND IS IT?

Look at the picture again:

Do you see what I'm talking about??? When I was looking through the magazine, I saw this picture and I couldn't stop looking at it because THE HAND DOES NOT BELONG TO ANYONE IN THE PICTURE!

Seriously. I mean, seriously. Let's look at some undisputable facts:

--It's not Jennifer Aniston's hand. (It's a man's hand.)

--It's not Catherine Keener's hand. (It's a man's hand.)

--It's not Nicole Holofcener's. (Ditto.)

--It doesn't belong to either Jason Isaacs or Greg Gerrmann. (It's too far away from them to logically belong to them, even though everyone in the picture is in a clump and Greg Gerrman's left hand is unaccounted for.) (Besides, it's a right hand anyway, and we can clearly see Greg Gerrman's right hand.)

--The hand cannot belong to Simon McBurney (the guy in the light blue sweater) because we can also clearly see that his right hand is in Catherine Keener's lap, and besides, the hand in question is not attached to an arm wearing a light blue sweater.)

--I want to believe that the hand could belong to Scott Caan, but look at the way he's sitting and the angle of the arm. If that's his hand, then he's pretty fucking double jointed.

Which brings me back to my initial dilemma.

WHOSE FUCKING HAND IS IT?????

The photo was taken by a photographer named Karina Taira (whose photos are entirely awesome, by the way). Karina, if you ever google yourself and find yourself here on my l'il ol' blog, and you feel like shedding some light on The Case of the Mystery Hand in Jennifer Aniston's Lap, please, please, I am begging you, please just tell me whose hand that is and tell me it got back to its rightful owner.

Thanks.

106 comments:

Anonymous said...

1)i think it's scott's hand; we will try to recreate this pose when i am in town.

2)also, the power of articulating your desires and the power of positive thinking go hand in hand. for example, do not with for it to stop raining, wish for sun. whatever you are focusing on, that's what it manifested (this is a good word for you, "manifest.")

3)i had a margarita at lunch and this day is so going to the dogs.

xo,
lindsay

Anonymous said...

oh, yeah. FIRST!
L to the INDSAY

Erik said...

Lindsay, I can't wait to see you. We will have to recreate this photo because I truly do not believe the hand can belong to Scott.

Also, now that I have this scanner I have become obsessed with scanning things, and so I have been looking through old photos, and I just found several photos that appear to have been taken at Barnes and Noble in the Faulkner section--there's a photo of you looking lovely, and a photo of Lara looking lovely, and then a photo of Mike Newman making a funny face, and then a photo of me looking like an absolute freak and holding a bunch of Faulkner books next to my face. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I was JUST LOOKING AT YOUR PICTURE and then, here you are sending me a comment.

Yes, I like that word "manifest." And the power of articulating desires can be a really strong thing. I'm gonna work on it.

And you were first! You claimed first! Awesome!

christy said...

Shit! I so was about to claim first!

christy said...

Erik, that *IS* the power of saying shit outloud. You said you wanted people to fight to be first to comment!

Erik said...

Christy--you're so right! People are SO fighting for first comment! I love that. I said it, and then it happened. Life is so freaking cool.

Anonymous said...

Can't believe how competitive your readers are. I'm just the hand that feeds you when you manifest that thought, and I'm perfectly content in this role.

God that margarita sounds good.

Manifest. Manifest.

PAM

christy said...

Oh and that is totally not Scott's hand. Scott's sleeves are black t-shirt like material. This is a long sleeved, cuffed shirt.

I wonder if Jennifer Aniston has a clause in her contract that says no one is allowed to touch her so they had to superimpose Matt LeBlanc's hand from a stock Friends promo.

That's my guess.

Anonymous said...

Weird. There appears to be instant messaging capability on this blog.

Erik said...

Okay, and another cool thing:

You know how I named my penis "Billy Zabka"?

Well, I don't understand how google ranks pages or anything like that, but if you google "Billy Zabka," in quotes, my blog entry about naming my penis "Billy Zabka" IS ON THE FIRST PAGE OF GOOGLE HITS.

Which means the realy BZ is totally gonna google his name and find my blog. I know it's gonna happen. I can feel it.

(Billy, I hope you have a sense of humor. You must. I'm sure you do. Because, like I said, you're one of the best things to come out of the '80s.)

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, I'm racing to get the next comment in within seconds of Christy's last. Did I say I wasn't competitive? Busted.
PAM

Erik said...

Oh my god, I'm so behind, three comments came in while I was writing that thing about my penis/Billy Zabka!

christy said...

Oh my god, Erik, I so googled "Billy Zabka" yesterday and was going to tell you the EXACT SAME NEWS.

Erik said...

PAM, you ARE competitive. Me too. I'm totally racing too.

(Do you know, now that I have this scanner, I've been scanning pictures into my computer and adding them to old posts--I just added a great picture of you and me from when I was a baby to the post from way back in February when I announced that your name was from here on out going to be PAM.)

christy said...

And your mom is SO Punk Ass!

And aren't you glad "Ass" begins with a vowel? I mean it gives you an acronym you can pronounce!

Anonymous said...

I so hope Billy checks out your blog. Even I think that's cool, and I don't want to think about it. Better get out of this loop and get back to work. It's been fun.
PAM

Erik said...

Who says I have IM capabilities on my blog? Huh? What? For serious?

Erik said...

Christy and PAM--yeah, I am still walking on air about the fact a google search for BZ brings you to my blog so quickly. BZ is SO going to read my blog. And when he does:

Hi Billy!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Christy, that is a very lucky "A". Love my acronym. Now I want to live up to it, which makes life much more fun!
PAM

Erik said...

Oh, and Christy, I'm glad you agree with me about the hand in the photo! I'm not sure if it's Matt LeBlanc's hand, but it DOES look photoshopped to me!

Actually, I wonder if someone was photoshopped OUT OF the picture. Do you think that's possible?

(But if it is, I'm not exactly sure where they would have been standing. Maybe they were in between Jennifer and Greg Germann?)

Erik said...

PAM: You don't really have to "try" when it comes to the whole "living up to your name" thing. Because you really are, essentially, a complete Punk-Ass.

Anonymous said...

IM is me. Just an observation based on this string of comments happening almost in real time. Don't think you really have IM on your blog, but it sorta works that way if your obsessive and fast like those who shall go unnamed.
PAM

Erik said...

Okay, sorry, PAM, I got really confused for a second and thought that there was some weird private message function on my blog that I was completely unaware of. But yes, when we're all on line commenting like madpeople, it definitely does feel like we're sending public IMs that the whole world can read. (Do you like how I talk about my blog as if "the whole world" was reading it?)

christy said...

Which reminds me Erik, the power of saying shit out loud...you know how last week I started talking obsessively about condoms?

What I mean to say is:

Obsessive? Fast? What?? WHO?

Erik said...

Christy, are you getting some???

Anonymous said...

1) All this talk about the photshopped arm between the legs, and I am really surprised there haven't been any more comments about why there is a man's arm
*in between* her legs! I mean if there is a guy in the shot we can't see, while he's down there can't he just take care of some biz-nass? She's smiling real big, too.

2)Pardon me; I had a margarita at lunch.

3)I want to see those pics!

4)Christy, what if he's wearing one of those baseball tees with the different color shoulders and another shirt underneath. Sundance is, after all, a cold festival.

Lindsay

Erik said...

Lindsay, I agree that his shirt could be one of those baseball shirts with the different colored sleeves, BUT if it IS his hand, then he has his own right hand on his own right shoulder (kinda) and it really looks like an impossible place for his own hand to be).

MAYBE--ooooooo, here's a theory! Maybe it's Vince Vaughnn's hand!!! I didn't think about that until Lindsay pointed out (in her margarita ramblings) that it's kinda *dirty* that a man's hand is in Jennifer's lap AND she has a really big smile, so maybe, just maybe, Vince was there at the photo shoot bein' naughty, but they had to photoshop him out of the picture because he's not in the dang movie, but they missed his right hand in the photoshopping process.

How about them apples???

christy said...

I will happily answer that OTR. Or OTB, I guess.

christy said...

Erik I was totally going to suggest it was Vince Vaughn's hand!!

OK going to lunch now!

Erik said...

Christy, we'll talk OB (off blog). Have a good lunch.

Erik said...

Lindsay, I am going to email the pictures to you as a PDF file, okay?

communicatrix said...

Wow. Party on, dudes.

I'm going to leave el-boring-o comment and just say I think it's Scott's hand, albeit at a really freaky angle.

I think the sleeve confusion comes from the layering thing the kids like to do. so he's got some kind of l/s white underwear shirt on under the baseball t.

But I love that you obsessed over this until you actually got to a scanner. That is so fexcellent.

communicatrix said...

Speaking of obsessing...

I think another reason we think it CAN'T be Scott's hand is b/c it would mean the arm is so short and that head of his is so big, how could his arm be that short.

Well, I saw the film and he's one of those tiny-bodied guys with a big torso and a ginormous head. So that could totally be his tiny, doll-like arm.

Me? I'm just looking forward to the photo recreation.

Erik said...

Colleen, welcome to the party.

First of all, I love that picture of you that you have as your icon.

Second, I have been sitting here trying to get my hand to rest near my shoulder (and near Jennifer Aniston's imagined crotch) just like it looks in the picture and if that IS scott caan's hand, then he really does have a short gimpy arm. 'Cuz it's hard to get my hand to go there.

And as far as the whole "obsessing about it until I got a scanner" thing goes: I had been saving the magazine in case the opportunity to scan ever occurred, and then when I finally got the scanner THIS MORNING, I totally almost had a meltdown because I couldn't find the magazine and I thought I had lost it. But thank god for me being a packrat who never throws even the most insignificant things away, I finally found it underneath a pile underneath a pile.

Oh, and Colleen, do you recommend the film? Because I really liked Holofcener's first two movies, and I really like Jennifer Aniston, too, but I recently realized that I only like Jennifer Aniston on TV and have yet to really ever love her in a movie. But I want to.

Oh, and Lindsay--did you read the last thing Colleen said??? "I'm just looking forward to the photo recreation." The gauntlet has been thrown down! We've gotta recreate the photo for definite now! I want to be Scott Caan in the photo and I think you should be Jennifer Aniston. We need to cast the rest of the photo--and we need to make sure that we have somewhat similar clothes (similar colors at least) (like, whoever is sitting in for Greg Germann should be wearing a leather jacket--which I can provide). And we should do two photos--one where the hand belongs to "Scott Caan" and one where the hand belongs to a hidden Vince Vaughnn. And then we can compare the photos and see which one looks the most plausible.

TheDarkerUma said...

proof that i am a foreigner:

when you said "saying shit out loud"...

i thought you literally meant saying the word "shit".

i got very confused because you do say the word "shit" out loud.

nevertheless i have figured it out.

p.s. almost all my co-workers are gone (good friday) and i am tempted to take a shit in the office bathroom.

p.p.s oh boy oh boy oh boy...

Erik said...

You are such a little foreigner. I think you should go poop in your office. Not "in your office," but in your office bathroom. You know what I mean. Consider it a New Thing. Since there really aren't that many people in the office, it won't be that difficult to do, and I think you will feel a strong sense of accomplishment afterwards. I think it will be good for you. Go. Do it. Now.

christy said...

My newest theory, Erik:

Vince Vaughn is *in* the picture. Look at Aniston's posture as opposed to her knees - she's completely leaning forward, and there's a huge amount of space between her back and the guy behind her. And there's this weird tuft of hair coming out of Scott Caan's head (okay, might be his).

And look at some of the smiles on their faces. There could definitely be a private joke happening.

And isn't VV always wearing a long sleeved white shirt with a black blazer?

TheDarkerUma said...

i think christy is correct

Erik said...

You know what, I agree with Uma in thinking that Christy's theory sounds correct. If anyone from Premiere Magazine ever reads my blog--or Karina Taira, if you ever read my blog--please let us know how right Christy's theory is.

(It's totally right, right?)

Bonnie said...

It's Scott's hand.

Erik said...

Bonnie!

Bonnie said...

Jennifer is sitting on a cube. Scott is sitting on the floor. His ass is at the same level of the base of the cube on which Jennifer is sitting.

Erik said...

Oh, and Urp:

I have been thinking about your literal interpretation of "The Power of Saying Shit Out Loud," and it's making me smile. I just think it's a funny idea, and I think that there's also a bit of power in literally saying "shit" out loud. But it depends on when and where and how you say it.

Bonnie said...

He propped his elbow/upper arm on her thigh before the photo was taken. He probably had his chin resting in his hand.

Erik said...

Bonnie, these are very valid theories you're proposing, but I still think it's Vince's hand.

Bonnie said...

Then, just before this photo was taken, he dropped his hand down, but his elbow is now lower than her thigh (between her legs), making it look like his hand is somehow coming out from between her legs.

Bonnie said...

The issue about the colors of his shirt is easily addressed with this...

Bonnie said...

IT'S A FUCKING BASEBALL STYLE SHIRT. The Ramones print is on white fabric. The shoulders and arms are dark grey. The "ringers" at the arm holes are white OR he is, as CoCo pointed out, wearing a white shirt under the baseball-style shirt that has grey shoulders and arms.

Bonnie said...

Vince is CLEARLY grabbing Jennifer's boobs, beneath her shirt.

Duh.

Bonnie said...

Oh, and "saying shit out loud" is a fundamental principle of "Excuse Me, Your LIFE Is Waiting," about which I blogged this morning.

Word.

It totally works.

Bonnie said...

And why have you now stopped commenting with me?

Bonnie said...

Why am I suddenly all alone in here?

Bonnie said...

Un. Cool. KiKi!

Bonnie said...

Fine. I'm leaving.

Bonnie said...

Plllbbbbbtttttttt!

Erik said...

Okay, YES, Bon, it is a baseball style shirt, YES, but--BUT--and I see what you're saying--I see the whole scenario you've proposed, BUT: I still don't buy it as his arm/hand.

AHHH!HHRH!!! You're going too quick!!!

Erik said...

I'm at a coffee shop!

Erik said...

Ordering hot chocolate! Trying to be witty! Don't leave! Too quick!

Erik said...

Now yer gone? I love the idea of Vince's hand grabbing Jen's boob under her shirt, but it's his OTHER hand!

Erik said...

Yer gone!?!?!??

Bonnie said...

Okay, I'm back.

Bonnie said...

I went and checked your other posts to see if comments had been posted... no.

Bonnie said...

Oh, I think the rest of the confusion to the look of the whole thing is that Jennifer's pants are similar in color to the color of the shoulders/arms of Scott's shirt.

Bonnie said...

And his head looks so big because Jennifer's arm is providing a visual "cut" to it from his body.

Erik said...

Welcome back!

Bonnie said...

His body actually is twisted at an odd angle. You can even see his knee at the edge of the photo. He's leaned in toward the group, but his right shoulder has gone back near Jennifer's hip.

This is further "odd" since his hand comes out from where his body is farther from the camera and is suddenly right there, big, like his head.

Erik said...

Off topic for a second: I want you to know that I started composing a comment for a particular comment thread last night, but I didn't post it because I am not even near finishing it. It's going to be a long comment. Because the thread has been neglected too long, so it therefore needs a good long comment. And you know what I'm talking about.

Bonnie said...

I was about to leave you again. Are you on a slow connection?

Bonnie said...

*sigh* Yes, Erik. Your Billy Zabka is very long and important.

WE KNOW!

Bonnie said...

*giggle*

Erik said...

I love that this photo is getting such scrutiny.

Bonnie said...

I love being comment 69 almost as much as I love being first.

Bonnie said...

Yes, I'm totally 12.

Erik said...

Yes, I'm at a coffee shop. It's slow. Or maybe I haven't had enough caffeine and I'm just slow today.

Bonnie said...

This photo is our generation's JFK and the grassy knoll!

Erik said...

you ARE twelve. you should try to be comment 69 on EVERY comment thread.

Bonnie said...

So, while you're composing replies...

Erik said...

This photo should be picked up by Reuters! It has suddenly taken on so much import.

Bonnie said...

I know you re-enacted the Rebecca Romijn transcript a bunch... did you also play the video for people? ;)

Erik said...

You can still always try to be first, but the 69th comment in every thread from now on will be the ultimate comment winner.

Bonnie said...

Number 69 on every one of your comment threads or on every comment thread EVERYWHERE?

Bonnie said...

Ooooh! Project!

Bonnie said...

And yes, I totally said that in the voice of Cher from "Clueless." ;)

Erik said...

Well, first I re-enacted it a bunch. (Twice actually, or maybe three times.) And then I watched the video twice (just for myself). But I know Jessica wants to watch it, so I'm going to play it for her on Monday. (We didn't work together today and yesterday we were at a meeting for most of the day--not on our computers.)

Bonnie said...

Okay, so did I ask you about what I should do about follow up on the Jesse Bradford contact?

Erik said...

Holy crap, every time I post a comment, my page reloads and there are three more comments. Damn slow connection.

Erik said...

OOOOOO, speaking of the Jesse Bradford connection!>!>?>> I have to show you something!

Erik said...

69th comment EVERYWHERE.

Erik said...

Though other bloggers might not know how cool you are when you post the 69th comment.

Erik said...

So, yeah, we're going to have do some information disseminating.

Erik said...

Okay, hold on, don't go anywhere, I have to find the thing I need to show you re: the Jesse Bradford connection.

I will be right back--five minutes.

Erik said...

Testing.

Erik said...

Bonnie, I don't know why my blog did that. It did that to me last week too. Disabled comments. But then they worked again thirty minutes later. And it happened again, but they are working again, for me at least. Hmmmmm.

christy said...

Bonnie...it would just be so boring if that were Scott's hand. That's my real issue with your theory.

Oh and it looks like there is a sharp black line a few inches above the wrist like that of a black blazer as worn by Vince Vaughn.

And why is the dude behind Jen standing so far away with his body turned out a little instead of toward the center of the pic unless Vince Vaughn is lying at his feet cracking up?

And why is Jennifer laughing that way?

And why does the guy behind her have an expression like he's smiling but he's actually not so amused deep down?

Erik said...

Bonnie, I think you are definitely right about one thing fo' sho: this picture will inspire debate for decades.

If Vince IS there and that IS his hand, I want to know what thoughts are going through Catherine's head, because she's one of Brad's friends, and she sure is smiling, and it's a big seemingly genuine smile, but if Vince is hiding right there, I wonder how genuine the smile really is.

christy said...

Okay people, I just browsed through way too many IMBD pics of both guys for good hand shots to compare with the Mystery Hand Shot. I have discovered the following:

-Vince Vaughn has oddly small hands for a man of his size. Long arms, small hands.

-That is very much Scott Caan's hand. Short little muscly arms, larger hands.

Erik said...

Like any detective worth their salt (I don't even know if I used that phrase correctly at all), I don't think we can close the book on this case (wow, when I try to talk like a detective, I go straight for the cliches!) until we've seen and compared Vince V. and Scott C.'s hands WITH OUR VERY OWN EYES.

Dave said...

Okay Erik, I hate to break the news to you, and remember, you didn't hear it from me. But the hand belongs to ....Jennifer.

Yep, she's had this hand hidden for years, it's the "untalked about"appendage. And, well, here it is out in the open.

I can't believe they were able to photograph it. Sources say, the "extra" hand is the real reason for the breakup between her and Brad as he felt she should be open and honest about it, and not hide it.

So, that's the mystery solved!

Dave said...

Ok, it's late. That post ^ up there was much more funny about half an hour ago.

After re reading it....I'm not so sure.

Sorry about that.

Bonnie said...

I still can't post at this thread.

Unless I can.

In which case I'm number 100.

Which rocks.

Erik said...

Dave, I like it! No apologies necessary at My Year of New Things.

Jennifer has a HUGE third hand!

Erik said...

Bonnie, I'm not going to be online for most of the day, so I won't be able to have any comment debates. I'm really mad at blogger for closing my comments to you yesterday. I didn't do anything, but apparently they work again. So weird.

Bonnie said...

We'll just have to schedule a date for when we're both going to be online at once and have a commentfest.

Bonnie said...

Ooooooh! OR, even better, we'll have a get-together IRL and post comments together at once, laughing and snorking while we do it, since we'll half want to yell out our funny lines and half want to be first at getting them on the comment thread.

Bonnie said...

Okay, seriously... I so need a life.

Gina said...

ok, first off, i have never seen so many fricken comments for one post. I'm lucky if I get one comment. See how awesome you are Erik?

Second of all, Matt was reading your blog and he got stuck on this post. Here's what he emailed me:

"The hand IS.... Scott Caan's

Explanation:
Its about the percetion of how Jennifer Aniston is positioned. Simon McBurney is sitting on his feet so he sits a lil higher than Catherine Keener who is sitting flat on the ground, Jennifer Aniston has her left knee to the ground and her right foot on the ground with her elbow on her knee, and Scott Caan is sitting on the ground leaning back into Jennifer Aniston.. The dark part between the two of them is part of his shirt whcih is over his white tee.. he is kinda slumping into her with his elbow on her knee ... Thats my theory.. let me know what you think... "

I guess the photo really made peeps have a reaction!
Love you, Gina

p.s. THANK YOU for the evite courtesy. I can finally get a good nights sleep.

p.p.s. I'm very happy you'll be there:):):)