Tuesday, April 25, 2006

New Thing #68: starting an investigation

I just got off the phone with my friend Courtney. Courtney is going to NYU right now, she's a budding playwright, actress, designer, jack-of-all-trades.

I was in New York last October for a reading and Courtney let me crash at her pad. (Does anyone really use that phrase in real life? "Crash at her pad." I'm not sure I would ever use it speaking, but it felt right to type the phrase.) (Anyway, moving on:)

When I was in New York, I decided to look up an old, old friend (someone I knew from childhood) who I literally had not seen in over ten years, but whom I had heard had opened up a clothing boutique in Courtney's neighborhood.

Well, it turned out, my old friend's shop was literally around the corner from Courtney's apartment. Like, it was 45 feet away from her front door. Like, boom, smack, right there, you know?

So I went to the boutique and my old friend and I were both like, "oh my god!" and "wow!" and we did some catching up, and he sells clothing for designers in his boutique now, and Courtney's a designer who recently designed a line of sweaters, and yadda yadda yadda, long story short, I hooked them up and my old friend worked out a deal with Courtney to sell her sweaters in his store.

This was last October...Now flash forward to today...

Courtney just called me:

"Have you talked to your old friend lately?" she asked me.

"Well, no, actually, I haven't spoken to him since I was with you--when I got home from New York, I couldn't find his number."

"He's gone."

Huh?

"He has all of our sweaters and he's just gone. We went over there to see if he had sold any of them, and the store was empty, gutted. All of the merchandise, just gone."

Courtney talked to the landlords and it turns out my old friend was several months late on the rent. Like, many many* months. Business must not have been going well. And instead of calling it quits, returning all of the merchandise he was selling for designers, and filing for bankruptcy, or whatever it is you're supposed to do in a situation like this, my old friend packed everything up in the middle of the night and skipped town.

One day the store was there, and the next day, poof, gone.

And Courtney just wants her sweaters back. It's like the time my stereo got stolen in college and all I wanted back was the Lemonheads cd that was in the stereo, and I posted flyers on bulletin boards all over campus asking the stereo thief to return my Lemonheads cd, except, actually, it's not like that at all. Maybe if I was Evan Dando and then someone stole my cd, maybe it would be like that. Okay, whatever, it's like if I had designed a whole bunch of really cool sweaters and then someone stole them, except it's not me, it's my friend Courtney.

So now I'm calling mutual friends of this old friend and trying to track him down so I can help Courtney get her sweaters back.

I am so Nancy Drew it's ridiculous. (Actually, I'm not really very Nancy Drew yet, since I haven't done any snooping yet, but I'm gonna be really Nancy Drew, believe me: I'm gonna find my old friend and I'm gonna get those sweaters.)

*On a completely unrelated note: (and this will only mean something to you if you were living in Southern California about fifteen years ago or so) Whenever I hear someone say the word "many" two times in a row, or whenever I say the word "many" two times in a row, I think of Gloria Estefan.


That might sound weird, but she was in the very first commercial for The Los Angeles Times Calendar Section (or if it wasn't the very first one, it was one of the very first ones) that they show before previews start at the movie theater. I absolutely hate commercials before movies at the movie theater, but I hate the Los Angeles Times Calendar Section commercials even more than I hate other commercials because the Los Angeles Times Calendar Section commercials never really seem to acurately represent anything you might actually read in the Los Angeles Times Calendar Section, and I think they were ahead of the curve when it comes to commercials before movies at the movie theater and so I kind of blame them for starting the trend. Anyway, in this particular Gloria Estefan commercial, which I saw so many hundreds of dozens of times (because it ran in front of movies for a heinously long time, until they finally retired it and started making other bad Los Angeles Times Calendar Section commercials), Gloria Estefan says "Latin music has manymany beats." And she literally ran the words manymany together like that--like, she almost manages to say "many many" in one syllable, it just rolls off of her tongue so quickly. And I always thought that was funny (even though I hated the commercial). And that commercial affected me so much that every time I hear someone say the words "many many," (which you would think wouldn't happen very often, but when you're attuned to something like that, you end up hearing the phrase "many many" many many times) I think of Gloria Estefan and I can hear her saying "Latin music has manymany beats."

47 comments:

christy said...

fir-hir-hirrrst!

christy said...

But god, that is awful Erik!!! You find him and you kick that sweater-stealing non-rent-paying good for nothing "old friend"!

And I would say you are way, way more Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys.

They're pretty gay.

christy said...

I mean, "Hardy" Boys...

christy said...

Like the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

christy said...

You are so not even fifth!

Eleanor said...

Have you read the gay Nancy Drews? They're hilarious. Because as Christy already pointed out, they're gay anyway. So just imagine Nancy Drew being out of the closet and prancing around and being seduced by butch lesbians. Don't be afraid, Nancy Drew.

Which, I guess, you wouldn't be able to read if you chose not-reading-anything-but-magazines over The Crow. Just something for you to think about. Long and hard.

And by long and hard, I actually mean thinking long and thinking hard, not anything indecent (that disclaimer was for your mom).

Erik said...

Technically THIRD! (Since the above six comments are by two people.) Though if you won't give me third, I'll accept seventh.

christy said...

And sometimes they go on ski weekends together, and Nancy Drew kisses boys but doesn't put out, and the Hardy Boys are always...somewhere else..."solving mysteries"...

And I don't think PAM needs a disclaimer.

Ugh I really, really need to stop leaving WAY more comments on your blog than you leave on my blog.

Oh wait, that's part of my "strategy".

Shit, I just revealed to you my "strategy".

I NEED SLEEP.

Erik said...

All of this talk about the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew all being kinda gayish, and I'm thinking, aren't ALL private investigators pretty gay? (Unless they're embodied by Bruce Willis, i.e. David in Moonlighting--he wasn't very gay.) (Do you like how I said "EMBODIED by Bruce Willis" instead of "acted" by Bruce Willis? It just felt like a more appropriate word.) (I keep wanting to type Bruce Wilson. More proof that I once had a stroke in my sleep.)

Erik said...

Christy, you're trying to out comment-whore me, but you CANNOT!

christy said...

YES

christy said...

I

christy said...

CAN

christy said...

AND

christy said...

I

christy said...

WILL

Erik said...

I'm not even going to fall for that "one word per comment" game right now! I invented it, therefore you cannot use it against me.

Erik said...

Ha!

Erik said...

Whaddya think about them apples?

christy said...

Film Noir private detectives were not gay.

christy said...

You did not invent it

christy said...

I'm naming it. It's called:

christy said...

Comment Bombing.

christy said...

So there.

christy said...

I named it.

christy said...

And we have the same initials.

Erik said...

I DID invent it. But fine, it never had a name, and you just gave it a good one, so I will concede the naming of it to you, BUT I DID INVENT IT.

Erik said...

We have the same initials? What do you mean?

christy said...

"We" being "Christy Bunner" and "Comment Bombing"

christy said...

What DO you name, anyway?

christy said...

Besides well, Billy.

Erik said...

Oh, I thought you meant that you and I had the same initials and that flummoxed me.

Erik said...

Because we so obviously don't.

Erik said...

I name lots of things!

(Okay, boobs and penises. That's all I really name.) (Apparently.)

Erik said...

This is the last comment I am leaving tonight. I am going to bed.

Bomb away.

christy said...

You should name your nipples the Hardy Boys.

christy said...

Me too. No more bombing tonight.

Anonymous said...

Erik names lots of new words.

But I would like to talk more about Bruce Willis in Moonlighting. How much did I love David Addison? SO SO SO SO MUCH. Many Many Much. As much, perhaps, as you loved Alex P. Keaton, Erik.

Do you remember that the final episodes of both Family Ties and Moonlighting were on at the same time? Whose dumb idea was that? I was so torn, and this was before everything was tivoed and taped and available constantly.

I think I ended up missing them both because I was sleeping over at my friend's house. In fifth grade.

But my love for Bruce Willis was true. I even bought the tape of his stuped musical endeavor, "The Return of Bruno." And I saw Blind Date.

See you this weekend!
xoxo,
Lindsay

Joe Chandler said...

First!

Jesse said...

have you guys heard about this wacky new thing...instant messaging?

MANNYMANNY BEATS! I feel like you, me gina, jen, and lanie were at the first MANYMANY BEATS moment at like Triangle Square.

Anonymous said...

ManyMany beats! That was to the song Tradicion, off of her Mi Tierra CD! I loved that song with all the horn and maracas. What a great memory! Thanks Erik! I will go home and listen to the CD!

Lanie

Eleanor said...

When I said, "So just imagine Nancy Drew being out of the closet and prancing around and being seduced by butch lesbians. Don't be afraid, Nancy Drew." I meant it.

Mabel Many wrote gay Nancy Drew books, featuring Nancy Clue, a girl curious detective.

The first one is "The Case of the Not So Nice Nurse," which is kind of like my life without the sexual innuendo.

j-dō said...

I love manymany beats! wow the memories.

jesse- i remember seeing it at big newport,because i remember singing 'casige casige casige la tradicion' in the parking lot. ( i am sure that casige is not spelled correctly but spanishdict.com is failing me at the moment)

Erik said...

Jesse, Lanie, and Jen: I knew manymany beats would bring back memories!

Erik said...

Lindsay, I am going to see you tomorrow!!! Woo-hoo!!!!

Okay, I love David Addison. I actually almost considered changing my name to Erik Addison after him. TRUE STORY.

(Strange, but true.)

I don't remember Family Ties and Moonlighting ending on the same night, but I remember very distinctly watching the last episode of Family Ties (which was, like, an hour and 6 minutes long, which was supremely rare back in those days for a show to go long, even if it was a finale, but they had footage at the end of the whole cast having their last bow on stage) and I remember crying and crying and being so sad that my favorite characters wouldn't be back next week and I'm sure I didn't watch (or even tape) the Moonlighting finale because I was taping the Family Ties finale so I could watch it again and again.

Erik said...

Joe Chandler...ah, Joe Chandler...you make me laugh.

Erik said...

Eleanor, are you trying to say your life doesn't have any sexual innuendo? You're surrounded by sexy, slutty nurses all the time! Of course your life is FILLED with sexual innuendo. And not just ANY sexual innuendo, but the lesbian kind!