Sunday, April 30, 2006

New Thing #70: Being Samantha

I did several New Things last night. I don't have time to write an epic post right now, so I'm going to spread the New Things out a bit and start with the last New Thing I did.

But before I get to the end of the evening, I suppose I should set the scene.

It was my friend Marvin's birthday (actually, I think his birthday was a couple of days ago) and he had a party at the White Horse. Celebration in the hizzouse.

This is Marvin:

I should have said "this is quintessential Marvin." Even though I'm not exactly sure what "quintessential Marvin" is supposed to mean, I think that this photo kinda captures it.

It was a pretty great party. There were lots of awesome people there. People I haven't seen in manymany years (manymany beats). There also happened to be a huge number of frequent blog readers. People like, for example: Joe Chandler (who used to leave lots of comments on my blog) (but who doesn't leave as many comments anymore) (but who still reads, so I forgive him) (because, apparently, he's a busy man) (I still forgive him) (even though, part of me is like, whatever) (because we're all busy, dude) (but--and this is an even better "but"--last night was the first time I had seen Joe Chandler [I like using his whole name, like he's a character from My So-Called Life or something] since I started the blog and so last night we were able to do some New Thing scheming, which was rocktastic) (just wait!); and people like Lindsay (who helped me do an AWESOME new thing last night) (a new thing that will get its own post later, because it's just too awesome to not have its own post) (and who I haven't seen in manymany years, like, since 1999) (oh, man, these parantheticals are getting confused with their possesives--I didn't mean to imply that I haven't seen that awesome post in manymany years; I haven't seen Lindsay in manymany years) (which was probably obvious) (I don't know why I felt compelled to explain that) (I was just reading Wil Wheaton's blog--and when I say "just," I mean this morning at, like, 3am--and he was making fun of people who use parenthetical statements) (and I know he wasn't talking to me specifically because we don't know each other or anything, but I was like, dude, whatever) (wait, since 1999? is that possible?????) (I think that's how long it's been since I've seen Lindsay) (sooooo good to see her); and people like Eleanor (who flew in from Flagstaff just so I could tell her I dissed her on my blog) (but, Eleanor, you see what I was referring to now, right? It wasn't really a diss. I just called you a failure at getting TBOGR:SNL--but now that I own it on DVD, we must must must watch it together) (it will change your life) (that's a riff on a quote from LA Story, from when the talking billboard tells Steve Martin that the weather will change his life three times) (I just mention that because I love LA Story and I wanted to point out that I was quoting Steve Martin when talking about Gilda Radnor because Steve Martin and Gilda Radnor are like tuna fish and mayonaise in my heart) (which means they go together and I really really like them); and people like Bo (who commented once on my blog, but thought that his comment didn't get posted, and then complained that comments on my blog don't work, or that you need to be registered somewhere to make them, which is SO NOT TRUE); and people like Steve (I don't know why I keep saying "people like" when I'm actually talking about very specific people) (Sorry, Wil Wheaton, but it looks like I'm still making parenthetical statements) (Steve likes it though) (I think) (no, I know) (Steve and I went to college together, though we didn't really know each other well at school) (last night, when I saw him, we had a really awkward "hello" moment, and then, about an hour later, we were talking and he was like, "I don't comment either," referring to Fiona, "but I read your blog, and I wanted to let you know that I'm a fan too") (and so then we talked about the blog awhile and it was really cool) (Steve, you must comment on this entry) (do it) (consider it a New Thing) (OMG, I am such a comment whore it's out of control) (I need help) (Steve, help me) (how can you help, you ask?) (by commenting!); and people like Urp (who inspires me to be bold with men) (have you noticed? i do bold things when you're around) (and without whom I probably wouldn't have done the New Thing I did at the end of the evening that I'm about to blog about) (which I should probably get to already, shouldn't I?) (I mean, I said this wasn't going to be an epic post) (I am such a fucking liar sometimes).

Here's some photographic evidence:

That's Lindsay with the red hair, Urp with the sour face (she hates photos), and Joe Chandler with the beatific smile.

That's Eleanor on the far left and Bo on the far right. I kinda feel like this photo should be used to promote awesome teeth.

That's Steve, and he looks kinda scared in this photo, but I think that's just because I ambushed him with my camera. IRL, he was really charming and not scared of me in the least. (Or if he was, he did a really good job of hiding it.)

Okay, so, on to New Thing #70...

After Marvin's party, I was planning on going to a post-party at Joe Chandler's house, but I was famished and so first I went to get some food at a diner with Urp and Bo, and then we never made it to Joe Chandler's house (my apologies).

At the diner, we were eatin' and gabbing and making googly eyes at our waiter (because that's what you do at diners) (especially if you have a really hot waiter) (and we did) (are waiter was really hot) (I JUST WROTE "ARE" INSTEAD OF "OUR") (HOW STUPID AM I?) (anyway) (he was, like, Anderson Cooper hot) and I guess I got kind of drunk on hash browns or something because I decided that I wanted to tell our waiter that he was really hot (ANDERSON COOPER HOT), and I wanted to give him my number, and I wanted to be bold, but being bold with men isn't necessarily the thing I usually am.

See, I'm a Charlotte, which means that sometimes I'm shy, especially when it comes to men. Jessica and I talk about how I need to "be Samantha" in situations like this, and so last night I tried to push my inner Charlotte aside and just focus on BEING SAMANTHA. I ended up writing him a note (because he was busy and working and it seemed more right at the time than interrupting his flow).

Oh, that's New Thing #70: I gave my phone number to a waiter. With a note. On the back of the check.

Here's what the note read:

Dear Danny (which I assume is his name because that's what it said on the check, but there's always the possibility that he was signed into the computer using someone else's screenname or something and he's not really Danny and someone else is Danny and someone else will get the note) (but I think he's Danny) (because Danny's a hot name and he looked like a Danny), I'm the guy with the glasses. (I said that so that he wouldn't think I was Bo) I think you're really attractive. (I thought the word attractive worked better in the moment than the word "hot," and I decided it would be better to keep it simple and just say "I think you're really attractive" than to be like, "I think you're as attractive as Anderson Cooper," because what if he doesn't think Anderson Cooper's hot and then he thinks I'm dissing him or something) (even though it's hard to imagine someone not thinking Anderson Cooper is hot) (I'm just acknowledging it's a possibility) I don't usually give my phone number out to strangers, but this is my year of new things. Erik.

And then I wrote my phone number and I wrote my blog address, figuring that if he was on the fence about whether or not this guy who left him a note was sane or not, my blog might serve as a character reference.

I have no idea if anything will come of it. He probably threw the note away last night after he read it. He probably has a boyfriend. (I mean, he was Anderson Cooper hot.) Or maybe he didn't even see the note, maybe it just went into the pile with the other completed receipts. But maybe he read the note, and maybe he doesn't have a boyfriend, and maybe he'll call, and maybe this will be the beginning of a movie-style romance. (Way to build expectations, Erik.)

Regardless, I gave him my number, which means, last night I was Samantha, which is definitely New.

127 comments:

Steve said...

I just wanted to be first once. Hello All.

Erik said...

Steve! Yay!

(Second.)

Anonymous said...

This is a test. It is only a test. Hello, does this fucking work? Uh, Erik, like, I'm an idiot I think, because I couldn't find the ill-fated comment about Ms. Pac Man. I don't think I'm very bright. OK, so this comment sucks because it is e-centric (I think I just made up a new word–I will work on the official definition but for now we will just say it has to do with being selfish in the virtual world). Anyway, congratulations on your boldness, may he make the wise choice & call. Love, Twink(ie)

Anonymous said...

OK, it showed up. I feel better now.

Erik said...

Hey Twinkie (that's totally my new name for you), I just tried to find your comment but I have no idea what thread it's in. However, it definitely exists somewhere. You're not stupide. Or if you are, we both are.

And yes, I realize I just spelled stupid with an "e" at the end of it, which is because I took French for four years back in high school and sometimes I still spell things "the French way," which is neither me being dumb nor me being pretentious, it just is.

Erik said...

Oh, and Twinkie, thanks. (for the congratualations comment) (I'll letcha know if he calls) (but I'm not holding my breathe or anything) (if I were him, I wouldn't call) (unless I was having a year of New Things) (then I would definitely call)

TheDarkerUma said...

steve - yay!!!

erik - go Samantha! right now I'm watching the episode where she meets smith at the raw foods restaurant. how appropriate, eh? love to you and thanks for a rockin night.

twinkie - you are a jem/gem (?)

Erik said...

It's "gem" with a "g."

Erik said...

Oh, and also, Urp: I love the whole last season so much. As if you don't know that. I guess I said it for the benefit of anyone else who reads this comment thread. But the thought of having a SATC final season marathon...(is that what you're doing right now, or are you just watching one ep?)...sounds really heavenly.

Erik said...

Actually, Urp, I corrected you so quickly regarding the jem/gem thing, but now that I think about it, I think that Twinkie might be a jem too. He certainly sparkles.

Erik said...

Oh, and Urp, love to you too.

Bonnie said...

Breath.

Not breathe. ;)

(I am such a bitch!)

Bonnie said...

Oh, and...

And then I wrote my phone number and I wrote my blog address, figuring that if he was on the fence about whether or not this guy who left him a note was sane or not, my blog might serve as a character reference.

You REALLY want your blog to be your character reference?

I seriously snorked so hard I nearly peed.

I mean... I usually get really scared about the moment when people discover my blog.

That's when they learn I'm certifiable.

And that's a scary moment.

Because... y'know... it's real.

Bonnie said...

(By the way, I am so 100% completely inspired by you and your Samanthaness. You have seriously impressed me. You rock.)

Anonymous said...

so, like, are we transferring from myspace to erik's comments section? i'll do my best to not get overwhelmed... i hate moving.

random fact: i've seen the first 4 (or 5?) seasons of "sex...". an ex-girl (two removed) & i went on a marathon renting spree. we stayed indoors for four days, ordered in, smoked pot & went with the girls on their rollercoaster. at first i thought i was going to kill myself & then it sucked me in. see what a good boyfriend i can be?

well, if i were him i wouldn't call either. BUT i would, that evening i'm sure, look at his blog... which could stir up some stirrings. that is a possibility; more likely.

ooomes: i was going to leave you a comment at our other home (this feels more like a condo-no offense erik-condos can be really amazing it just takes a little while to make it feel cozyhomelike) but i didn't know what to say... something coded & sweet was what i was going for... but... maybe this will suffice.

smooches to both of you,

twink

christy said...

I totally forgot what I was going to comment on. Crap. All these comments made me totally forget.

Oh right. Could you really see yourself with someone who *didn't* think Anderson Cooper was hot??

That was it.

Oh, and SIXTEENTH!

christy said...

Oh, and Charlotte was totally Samantha when she kissed Harry in the bachelor pad and then they had sex.

It's all about knowing what moments to be Samantha in! Who knows, hot waiter could be future-Chinese-Baby-Daddy

(Not to build expectations too high)

joe chandler said...

erik...it was great to see you and plan with you.

now, you just accused me of not commenting anymore, and i just commented on thursday. what the hell?

i'm also honored to be making a second pictoral appearance on your blog.

also, when i was a waiter a girl once gave me her number. she called me over and gave me her number on a slip of paper. i told her i had a girlfriend. it was really cool. apparently, being a waiter at the olive garden turns some girls on. but not most of them.

Erik said...

Oh, Bonnie, breath/breathe is one of my Achille's Heels. I totally have to say it out loud every time I spell either one of those words and when I'm blogging I'm usually typing too fast to be sayin' anything out loud.

As far as the blog as character reference goes, I figure that it's actually kind of perfect to have this warts and all neurosese (sp?) me out there on the WWW because usually when you start datin someone you're on your perfect behavior and trying to pretend not to be such a hypochondriac and things like that, but you're presenting a kind of fake self, and fuck that.

I'm certifiable! I'm real!

(And I'm really glad I inspired you with my Samanthaness. Next time you find yourself not doing something you think you should be doing, or you feel like you need a kick in the butt, just tell yourself to "Be Samantha." It's a mindset. It works.)

Erik said...

Twinkie, a few things:

I like your condo metaphor, but I'm going to amend it and relate it to myspace. MySpace is great. I mean, I hate it, but it's great for what it is. (How's that for a confusing sentence?) But...

MySpace is kinda like college and all of the comments we leave for each other on MySpace are like college parties in the dorms, and I hang out in the dorms a lot, but I actually live off campus, here, at my blog, so when you're leaving comments on my blog, it's like you're hanging out with that guy who lives just off campus and he's got a cool pad (that, like a condo, maybe you need to get used to a little bit before you feel cozy here, but give it some time AND YOU WILL, oh yes, you'll feel very cozy.)

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, you sound like a really good boyfriend. You SOOO need to get another girlfriend pronto so you can see the end of Sex and the City! Your life is incomplete! (Or you can just be a man and rent the rest of the series yourself.)

smooches back atcha.

Bonnie said...

You're totally 100% correct. Why NOT have people learn it ALL up front? And then if they're not scared off... they deserve a chance with you!

Brilliant!

Thank you!

And being Samantha is a GREAT goal. I'm going to totally live that.

(But first I have to go be Carrie. Damn this deadline!)

LYMI,

Erik said...

Christy, you know what, you are so right. I don't think I could date someone who thought Anderson Cooper was a dog. I think that any guy who thinks Anderson Cooper isn't dreamy has gotta have a couple of screws loose.

Erik said...

Christy, that's so true. Charlotte definitely had moments where she was Samantha. I guess that's what life is all about. Finding those moments when you need to Be Samantha. (I kind of want to copywright---ah! copyright!--the phrase and then right--ah! write!--a self-help love book called Be Samantha.) (Not that I know even remotely enough to write a book to try to help other people.)

Erik said...

Joe Chandler,

I only accused you of not commenting anymore to get a rise out of you (and it looks like I succeeded!) and to provoke you to comment again ASAP. I know that you commented very recently. I just like when you comment. You should be happy that I said you don't comment because it means I love me some Joe Chandler.)

that's "what the hell."

Okay, now I need to ask you something. I never knew you were a waiter at the Olive Garden. I love the Olive Garden. Seriously, I love it so much it's kinda sick. Part of me feels like it's maybe a kind of horrible restaurant, BUT I LOVE IT. And it's all about the Toscana soup for me. I could live on the Toscana soup.

Now. Here's my question.

Is it part of the job description at the Olive Garden that all waiters must be high at all times? Because every time I go to the Olive Garden, my waiters are high. Like, blatently, I'm-not-even-exaggerating-for-effect-here, so totally Stoney McStoned.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, it just always makes me laugh, and I don't really see you as a stoner so Joe Chandler + Olive Garden didn't gel in my head because I've always thought of Olive Garden + waitstaff = Major Penchant For Smoking the Weed.

Does this even remotely reflect your experience at the Olive Garden?

(And let me stress some more that I mean no disrespect to the OG. I LOVE OLIVE GARDEN.)

However, I have never been compelled to give my phone number to a waiter at the Olive Garden.

Erik said...

Bonnie, go be Carrie! I love that you're Carrie, and not just emotional Carrie, but literal-I'm-a-journalist-with-a-column Carrie.

But when you need the extra oomph...

BE SAMANTHA.

Erik said...

Hey, Steve. I just realized that you said hello and then I said "yay!" but I didn't say hello back atchoo. (And congratulate you on being first in the middle of the day, which is much trickier than being first at the beginning of your work day at 7am would be.)

Mrs. Kickass said...

Congratulations on #70 - it's the balls-out scary moments in the pursuit of love that have the biggest payoff. Hope he's man enough to keep up with you!

I was supremely bummed to miss Marvin's party last night, angry in fact (one more reason I have to say "no" more and protect my time)(that totally makes no sense unless you've been in my head...or you're Michael)(I've just found myself with very little time to do things that make my spirit feel good - like walking, yoga-cising, reading, and hanging with beautiful friends until the wee hours of the morning), and NOW I'm even more pissed since I missed out on you and Twinkie and Urp! I got a litle vicarious vibe from Michael - but damn I want to squeeze you!

I also love that other folks are fans and not posting, cause I'm new at this whole comments thang. I'm way behind...I JUST figured out how to put a song on my mySpace page for goodness sake!

So what's this other new thing? Hmmmm?!

christy said...

KiK, I'm going to see if I can work your "Be Samantha" pitch into my blog about Sex & The City as Self-help which I plan on writing soon.

I have so many things to say about that.

Oh and thanks for the statcounter referral. I feel like a jerk that I missed all the hullaballoo of my premiere week. and *then* I put it in the wrong section or something so it didn't work for a whole day. And now it works! I'm such a stat whore (hellooo, economics major...) it's like my favorite thing ever.

I found out that my brother and/or sister-in-law who have never acknowledged I have a blog or that I even exist post-"I have a blog e-mail" were reading it twice today.

Rebecca said...

Too funny. I read Wil Wheaton's blog every day (leftovers from a teenage crush) and when I read that dis on people who use parentheticals I thought of you!

Also - WTG leaving that note for the waiter! You'd better post if he calls cuz I'll be waiting!!

Erik said...

Mrs. Kickass, I will post the other new thing (there are actually two of them from the party) v. v. soon. (I think that's a British thing to abbreviate "very" as "v."--I've never done it before, but I love it, don't you? There's something very chic about it.) (I totally just spelled chic as "sheek.")

I missed seeing you at Marvin's part-ay! I'm not sure if I can come to the reading tonight--hopefully I will see you, but if not, we need to see each other soon.

Big hug.

Erik said...

Babes, I am so happy that you got your sitecounter working. HOW FUCKING RAD IS IT?

Michael Hartney said...

Am I crazy that it sounded a little more Carrie to me? I mean, wouldn't Samantha have just ordered a fucktini from Danny?

Oh, and I admire your balls. Your figurative balls.

Erik said...

Rebecca, I love that we both read that Wil Wheaton blog entry, and I love that you thought of me when he went off on parenthetical users. My Stand By Me crush was more on River. (Why'd you have to leave us, River?)

And I will definitely let you know if the waiter ever calls. (And if he happens to read the blog and decides I'm crazy and he's not interested, I hope he at least posts a comment to that effect.) (How sad is it that if I don't get a date out of this New Thing, then I'm at least hoping for a comment?)

Erik said...

Michael, you bring up a really interesting point and I think you're right. Leaving the note is completely something Carrie would do and not something Samantha would do at all. (She would completely order the fucktini.)

However, the whole concept of Being Samantha as a motivational tool is more about reminding myself to be bold in situations like this one (because Samantha is nothing if not bold) rather than literally doing the whoretastic things that Samantha might do. (Not that I'm ruling those things out as well, but I'm just saying that Being Samantha is more of a feeling.)

You know?

Anonymous said...

Forget Danny, did you notice who was really checking you out?

-TheBusBoy

Erik said...

Is this for real? Who is this?There's no way this is for real. Is it for real?

Anonymous said...

Tips aren't the only thing waiters share with us.

-TheBusBoy

Bonnie said...

Ooooooooh.

The broth thickens!

Erik said...

BusBoy,

Really, are you for real??????

Like, for real for real?

You're so not. Or are you?

Because the suspense is driving me crazy.

TheDarkerUma said...

stuck at work on wilshire on strike day....

now this is fun....i'm trying to remember the bus boy.

TheBusBoy: what table were erik, twinkie and i sitting at? (yes, this is a test)

Erik said...

Oooooo, a test! Good idea, Urp!

Anonymous said...

#5.

What I remember most is the handsome tall guy snapping pictures, who wouldn't make eye contact with me except for a few wonderful moments.

Do you like Thai food?

-TheBusBoy

Erik said...

Alright, BusBoy, test #2: what did we eat?

Anonymous said...

Why these games and tests?

All I know is in a sea of people, I could only see you.

Are my bold attempts to win you over via your blog not enough?

How do you feel about sunsets in Malibu?

-TheBusBoy

Erik said...

Because I think you're one of my friends...

If you're really the busboy, email me at dimsumday@aol.com and I'll tell you what I think about sunsets in Malibu.

Erik said...

"I'll tell you what I think about sunsets in Malibu." That sounds like a threat! It's not. I just think you're one of my friends.

Danny, oh Danny, I wonder if you'll ever read my blog and/or call.

christy said...

Real or fake, this is gripping!

(I think it's fake)

christy said...

I wonder if it's PAM. I wouldn't put it past her.

Erik said...

He emailed me, but I think it's fake too.

His email address is "bustheboy," which feels very "blog joke" to me.

christy said...

Well KiKi, I have to say that one true judge of friendship is how far someone is willing to go to execute a prank.

My new guess is Uma (all the sudden she shows up asking questions as if to clearly disassociate herself from TheBusBoy...)

Erik said...

I was thinking it might be Bo, too, but Uma's a good guess.

christy said...

Bo doesn't think comments work, though (totally reminded me of that scene from Blazing Saddles where the governor complains about his paddle-ball, "Why do I always get a warped one!?")

One of the greatest movies ever.

Bo's so cute! Great teeth, too.

TheDarkerUma said...

it isn't me....but i'd like to think it was...

but come on? sunsets in malibu? i'd be more inclined to say "how do you feel about hotdogs wrapped in bacon?" and then picture licking my lips like Samantha does. Hee heeeee whoo whoooooo (that's my David Letterman laugh btw)

but christy, i definitely should be a suspect because I LOVE pranks.

TheDarkerUma said...

oh my god!

erp, shouldn't christy and twinkie go on a date!!!????

hmmm, maybe i shouldn't publish this in such a public forum.

oh well.

christy said...

Why would someone even ASK "how do you feel about sunsets in Malibu?"

That's like asking,

"How do you feel about Anderson Cooper?"

"How do you feel about breathing?"

"How do you feel about how some of the earth is land and then the rest is water?"

christy said...

Uma, one thing I've decided about comment threads is even if they *are* "public" or whatever, you can pretty much guarantee that no one except a few privy people are reading them. So they're kind of a perfect place to bear (bare? bear? bare.) your soul because the statistics just aren't there.

Dude, I just said "privy". That made me feel like Robin Leach, *again*.

Then I just said "dude" and "privy" in the same sentence.

Erik said...

Also I was thinking it might be Eleanor.

BusBoy, I know I told you to email me offblog, and I know you did, and I know I didn't reply to your last email, but who are you? The jig is up!

You're in Eleanor in the Kitchen with the Lead Pipe, yes?

christy said...

"in Eleanor" does not sound like a gay BusBoy.

Erik said...

Oh my god, that is the funniest typo.

Erik said...

Oh my god and it's a really dirrrrrty typo too, the added "in" makes that sentence super dirty!

christy said...

and then the "in Eleanor...WITH THE LEAD PIPE" makes it super super super super dirty

Erik said...

I KNOW! (totally unintentional!)

christy said...

I feel like we need to save Eleanor.

Erik said...

I KNOW! Eleanor!! We're coming to get you!

Erik said...

Oh, and Urp, I really like hot dogs wrapped in bacon.

christy said...

You do realize, if she really did prank you good and has now managed to elicit dire sympathy from you, Eleanor is one of the greatest masterminds of the known world.

Erik said...

Yes...IF it's her.

Erik said...

(What if it REALLY IS the busboy and he hates me now because I never replied to his last email?)

christy said...

KiKi...I love your hopeless romanticism, but it just isn't. "bustheboy"?? That is fucking hysterical (whoever you are, mystery prankster).

SIGH.

christy said...

Oh and 69!

Anonymous said...

i am laughing very hard right now.
lindsay
p.s.
but it wasn't me.
with the bus boy i m ean.
or the pipe.

Anonymous said...

TheBusBoy never hates.

-TheBusBoy

Erik said...

Bus Boy!

Erik said...

I missed a couple comments above that still need replying to...

Urp! Matchmaking is supposed to be done in secret!

Erik said...

"How do you feel about Anderson Cooper?"

Love him, obviously.

"How do you feel about breathing?"

Love it, obviously.

"How do you feel about how some of the earth is land and then the rest is water?"

Ditto, obviously.

Erik said...

Babes, I am a hopeless romantic. It's out of control.

And "bustheboy" IS a pretty brilliant email address, way too brilliant to be real. Whoever this is, they are an extremely good pranker to go to the effort of getting a new email address for the prank.

Erik said...

Oh, and Bus Boy, it's really weird that you asked if I like Thai food, and that question made me think that you might be either Urp or Bo, because it alluded to something that happened as we were walking to our cars that only the two of them would know...

(or, if you're not Uma or Bo, then you just happened to say something really eerie that alluded to a moment at the end of the evening that you don't know anything about.)

(eerie!)

Erik said...

Lindsay, are you really not the Bus Boy, or are you just saying you're not the Bus Boy to get me off your trail?

Erik said...

Could Adam be the Bus Boy?

Adam didn't get any props in this blog entry. Adam was also at Marvin's party, and he's also a frequent blog reader, but Adam is going to be featured prominently in one of my next two blog entries. (I think the Tomo one is going to be the next blog entry, and the Aniston blog entry will be the one after that.)

Ooops, those are spoilers!

Erik said...

OMG, the Bus Boy is SO Joe Chandler. Why didn't I call out Joe Chandler earlier?????

RIGHT? Am I right, Joe? I am, right?

Dave said...

LOL The Broth Thickens, that made me laugh out loud.

I certainly hope no one is pulling a prank because it all sounds so romantic.

Imagine having eyes for someone but some else checking you out. Of course it would be even more romantic if they both had eyes for you.

But imagine, if the BusBoy was checking you out and the only way you found out was by writing a note to the waiter....how many other waiters and busboys have been checking you out that you're not even aware of!

Samantha is working wonders for you, and I say Samantha On!!!

Erik said...

Dave, even if it's a prank, it's fun, but if it's not a prank, then what if I've ruined it with the Bus Boy by speculating all of these other people who he is? (Did that sentence make any sense?)

Erik said...

The whole idea of the bus boy checking me out while I was checking the waiter out sounds kind of exciting though, just because of all of the "checking out" going on. I don't normally think of myself as someone people "check out."

Erik said...

Okay, the broth thickens even more!

the Bus Boy is definitely NOT eleanor. Or, if it is her, then she is BRILLIANT, because we just talked on the phone and she did a really good job of convincing me that she's not the Bus Boy.

I believe her.

Dave said...

You're right, if it is a prank, it's a fun prank. but I'm such a die hard romantic that I want it to be the Bus Boy.

And if it has been the Bus Boy; no I don't think you've ruined it with him because ... well, because I said so, and at the risk of sounding like my mom, I think that's a good enough reason.

He just can't be put of by speculation, because you've also been sincere in your hoping that it IS the Busy Boy.

Now where is he? I haven't seen a post from him in a couple of hours?

Erik said...

Dave, I don't think it's really the Bus Boy because "the Bus Boy" sent me an email saying he had to leave for work (this was at 6something) and would be in touch with me later, and I checked with the diner--they're closed today!

So it's not the Bus Boy, unless the Bus Boy has a second job.

christy said...

KiKi, how much do I **love** you called the diner to see if they were open!? (I kind of love it was closed, too, so you didn't get your hopes all built up and then deflated).

We need Angela Lansbury on the case.

But I had the thought...what if the BusBoy is really the WAITER, just toying with you? How would you feel about that??

twink said...

good goddamned, jesus christ. i had no fucking idea what you were talking about (see comment, myspace) but i get it... i am, thankfully, not the bus boy. i don't think i could toy with one's heart as so. however... its pretty funny & someone loves you, just not in the kinda way that would require planning for chinese babies. (wait. i think christy, hi christy... thanks for the "cute" remark... we are new best friends... you will receive a friend request immediately... already made reference to chinese babies. rats. alas...) anyway, this happened awhile ago... what's the current word? any?

Anonymous said...

All right Bus Boy. The jig is up. Whoever is playing with my son's emotions is going to have to answer to his Punk Ass Momma. Don't forget, as Samantha as he may try to be, he's really a Charlotte on the inside and easily bruised. He won't appreciate my coming to his defense, but I'm not afraid.

It's the waiter's loss if he doesn't call. It's the bus boy's loss if he isn't real.

Go Samantha.

twink said...

p.s. christy, you have an assload of friends. i don't know how special i feel now.

Erik said...

Aw, PAM, you've so got my back.

Part of me loves that you're coming to my defense and part of me hates it (because I'm complicated) (and you know me too well) (you cushioned things by acknowledging that I would be annoyed, so then I couldn't be as annoyed as I wanted to) (but of course I was annoyed because you're my mother, and Samantha doesn't need his mother to come to his defense) (but I love it too) (and it's not like I really need defending, I'm okay if the bus boy is a prankster) (I really just want Danny the waiter to read my blog and fall deeply, madly in love with me) (you know how it is)

Erik said...

Bo, thank you for making comments to other people on my blog and pretending that my blog is MySpace.

Erik said...

Dammit, whoops, I meant to call you Twink(ie).

Erik said...

I just wanted to take a moment and say hello to Steve again, Blog Commenter #1 on this thread.

Hello Steve!

twink said...

alright. i just re-read everything. uma. come clean.

Erik said...

Twinkie, you asked what the current word was on the Bus Boy.

I currently think it's Joe Chandler. But I don't know for sure.

It's definitely NOT:
1. You
2. Uma
3. Eleanor

Those are really the only people I have conclusively knocked off the list.

Hell, it could still really be a Bus Boy.

As Eleanor said (to me, on the phone): the real test is finding out if we were really sitting at "Table #5."

twink(ie) said...

this condo ain't big enough for the both of us?

Erik said...

Twink...do you think it's really Uma!??!?!??!??????

(It very well could be.)
(She certainly did say that it WASN'T her pretty damn quickly.)

Erik said...

This condo has an entire bedroom with your name on it, Twink.

christy said...

bo...I don't know how *I* feel about it! I used to have 2200 and I felt really guilty about deleting all of them. when I signed up my account they made me a "cool new person" and I got 2500 friend requests in 3 days and I didn't know what to do so I just accepted EVERYONE and now I feel like a bitch if I delete them all!!! I mean they all wanted to be my friend!

Erik said...

And I cleared a whole closet for you as well.

twink(ie) said...

tell me why you know it is not the dark force?

christy said...

Woohoo I was comment 69 AND 100!

Erik said...

Okay, Twink and Christy, you two can keep talking if ya want, my condo is su condo. But the coffee shop I'm at is closing and the guy was just like, "sir, we really are closing," and I was like "who the fuck are you calling sir," and now I have to leave.

Erik said...

But before I leave, Bo I want to give your nickname a nickname...

from now on you are:

Twinkerbell.

christy said...

(his grammar is too good to be a bus boy)

christy said...

Erik just totally ripped off my nicknaming nicknames!!

christy said...

okay twinkerbell...we're friends now

twink(ie)(erbell) said...

goodnight, sir. it has been a pleasure. i also have to bid adieu. christy, i will be a proud 2000something friend. its uma, for fuck's sake. smooches to all, bell

Erik said...

I'm back home, but I'm going to bed too.

Anonymous said...

The bus boy has been spoken with, he won't be bothering you anymore.

What do you say to a drink, on me.

-TheBarTender

Anonymous said...

TheBarTender,

You weren't so gay last night.

-TheValetGirl

Bonnie said...

Thank you, Dave, for LOL at my "The broth thickens" comment. I feel the love. Thankee.

I'm sad that I wasn't around all day to be a part of this caper. You definitely have some Nancy Drew action happening here.

And can't you check the IP addresses in your sitemeter logs? Or does that remove the romance?

Erik said...

I don't really have time to comment today--I'm swamped with work--I will reply to all comments later tonight!

(And I think the mystery of the Bus Boy should be solved today...I'm starting to think it's Christy...) (CHRISTY!??? Eh???)

Anonymous said...

I'm so impressed.

Your momma threatened the bus boy, Bo (I refuse to call you twinkerbell, Bo -- you stole my haircut so I will call you whatever I damn well please) and Christy became bosom buddies, and the bus boy turned into a bartender who turned into a valet girl. I was rescued from a lead pipe wielding culprit with his eye on my vagina. What an exciting day!

I would like to maintain that I am both a master mind and brilliant, although not in the kitchen, ahem, with the lead pipe.

Love,
Eleanor

p.s. I think it's Tomo.

eleanor said...

Just kidding.

It's Christy.

Or Joe.

Or, your friends are all liars and it's someone who has already denied it. In which case, my money's on Bo.

Or... a bus boy?

Erik said...

Eleanor, what if it really was Tomo??? How funny would that be???

Bonnie said...

PS--Def Jam Becca MC posted about her (daughter's) vagina today.

Just sayin'.

Bonnie said...

Oh, and BTW, loves me some Tomo, but that boy has never said "vagina" EVER.

eleanor said...

Oh, it would be funny. Hilarious, even. But mostly -- the biggest "Gotcha" ever. EVER.

Unless it's Tomo, it's official -- I'm over the Bus Boy. I'm tired of the Bus Boy. In fact, I might hate the Bus Boy. Bus Boy be gone (but first out yourself).

Bonnie said...

Heeeeeee!

Loves me some Eleanor!

Anonymous said...

Yay!

Thanks Bonnie.

I like you because you don't constantly talk about my private parts on Erik's blog. OH, and you're adorable and smart and funny and et cetra.

And... you're right. That it's Danny's loss for not calling Erik McPatterson.

XOXO,
Eleanor

Erik said...

Hey Eleanor, that last comment of yours made me think of your boobies.

Anonymous said...

Erik -

Huh. That's really weird. That last comment of yours made me think of dildos. (Dildoes?)

Love,
Eleanor

joe chandler said...

Your thoughts of dildos and boobies made me think of firetrucks.

Erik said...

That's funny because boobies and dildos and firetrucks make me think of this joke I heard this one time.

christy said...

that joke you heard one time makes me think of cotton candy clouds.