Sunday, April 23, 2006

My Week, as seen through the eyes of my phone.

Click to enlarge.

Row One, photo 1: Uma doesn't like it when I take her picture, so when the camera phone comes out, she either runs away from me or she gets crass. I don't know whose hand that is in the photo. I think it might be Scott Caan's.

Row One, photo 2: I am totally obsessed with my camera phone (obviously) and I cannot stop taking bad pictures with it (obviously) and I'm also (obviously) obsessed with taking pictures through my windshield while I'm driving (or taking pictures of myself while I'm driving, which, if you think about it, is really kind of strange--I like to think that it's not a completely narcissistic thing, but rather just an obsession born out of circumstance and that if I wasn't in the car alone so frequently I would be obsessively taking pictures of other people in the car, but since it's most often just me in the car I need a subject and so I end up obsessively taking pictures of myself driving) (further proof that this is a circumstantial obsession and not a narcissistic one: I have deleted all [or most] of the photos of me driving and none of them are in that little collage in this here post) and I don't know what this is a picture of. I think it's someone's headlight, warped by my shitty little camera phone that turns lights into huge explosions of pixilated activity.

Row One, photo 3: This is me and Aki and Carie. You can't see Carie in the photo because my bad camera aim missed her, but the three of us are in the middle of a group hug. My camera, or, um, my phone, does this weird thing where if you leave a photo in it for a long time it starts to warp, kind of like the photo of the McFly siblings in Back to the Future, except instead of slowly disappearing, people start to stretch and melt in my camera photos. Part of me worries that my camera phone is some sort of conduit of evil and my friends are stretching and melting in real life along with their camera phone pictures, but so far I haven't heard of anyone losing their face.

Row Two, photo 1: Another picture of the road taken while I was driving.

Row Two, photo 2: Aki and Carie again, except this time Carie's actually in the photo. Carie was in town for a couple of days from DC, so we hung out on Friday night. It was great to see her. And it was great to see Aki, too, who lives in LA, and who needs to teach me how to cook something again really soon. (She taught me how to make challah bread from scratch back at the beginning of My Year of New Things.)

Row Two, photo 3: Another picture of cars driving.

Row Three, photo 1: Yeah, again, driving cars. I'm special.

Row Three, photo 2: This is my brother Matt's mouth filled with lasagna.

Row Three, photo 3: Bo.

Row Four, photo 1: Aki and Carie looking scared. When I showed this picture to them, they were both like "what are we looking at?" and "why do we look so scared?" Maybe a subconscious part of them knows that my phone is going to melt their faces.

Row Four, photo 2: Carie chugging a beer in preparation for the inevitable melting of her face by my camera phone. (I accidentally typed "Carie chugging a bear," which would have been a tremendously more intriguing photograph, had it happened.)

Row Four, photo 3: Clouds. (Clouds?)

Row Five, photo 1: It was my brother Mike's 18th birthday. We went out for dinner. He was hungry and pounded back his lemonade while waiting for his meal. The waiter brought a refill. Mike pounded that back too. The waiter brought another refill--boom, pound, no more lemonade. Finally, the waiter brought out an entire pitcher with a straw so that he wouldn't have to refill Mike's lemonade anymore, and then, to be funny, Mike tried to pound back the pitcher of lemonade as well. By the time his dinner was brought out, he could barely even take one bite and he kept having to excuse himself to go to the bathroom (where I suspect he was having lemonade diarrhea, but I didn't ask). Happy 18th birthday, Mike!

Row Five, photo 2: Those are Laural Meade's hands. She's offering me my choice of chocolate bunnies. Heaven.

Row Five, photo 3: Uma being really dark in a really dark bar and being annoyed that I'm taking another picture of her.

Row Six, photo 1: Yep, it's another picture of the street through my car window...

Row Six, photo 2: ...and another.

Row Six, photo 3: Matt's lasagna.

Row Seven, photo 1: Really old English muffins. Seriously. (Yes, they're green.) (Yes, that's mold.)

Row Seven, photo 2: There's this dish I like to make every once in a while. It's called a chocolate chip omelette. It's exactly what it sounds like. A lot of people think I'm crazy, but hello, don't almost all chocolate desserts have egg in them? Given, the egg is usually part of something people like to call "cake dough," but still, it's there. I've tried to order a chocolate chip omelette a couple of times at Jerry's Deli and other assorted diners and no one will ever make it for me. So, the other night when I was craving one, I just ordered a side of eggs and then asked for a cup of chocolate chips and I mixed it myself. YUM. (Seriously, you guys, YUM.)

Row Seven, photo 3: Carie and Aki posing in my favorite photographic location: the street. (Okay, and actually, they aren't "posing"--they're walking away from me because they're tired of me taking pictures of them with my dumb phone.)

Row Eight, photo 1: Degrassi's back! And I love it more than ever. Stop reading right now if you don't watch Degrassi: TNG because you won't have any idea what I'm talking about and you won't care, but if you DO much do you love Paige and Alex together? So much, right? And how gay is Marco now? So gay, it's great. Ug, and Spinner? My heart goes out for him. He's one fucked up little dude and he just needs a friend. And I feel bad for Snake. He made a mistake. I want Spike to talk to him at least--I think they can work things out. ANd, like, ohmygod, when are we going to see JT???????? What, he attempts suicide at the end of last season and two episodes into this season and we haven't even seen him yet??!??!!??? What the frig is that about???? And pregnant Liberty, where are you, too!?!???! I used to hate you, Liberty, because you were such a goody-little-two-shoes, but now that you're preggers, I wanna see you every episode, so come back. Please. (I have a problem.) (Okay, I have many problems, but my obsession for Degrassi is high on the list.)

Row Eight, photo 2: Ingrid! MySpace!

Row Eight, photo 3: Oh, it's just me taking another picture of the street.


Anonymous said...

I feel guilty being first.

Is that a Jewish thing or a mom thing or what?!


Ralph Colby said...

Well I'm second... and actually I would have been last in the hair comment line...but I didn't want to take away from "Dave's" "Last" comment.
So I love the hair. Is it Buzzed like Matt's football hair. Or just slicked back and short?

You do look handsome.

Did I say that because you are or because we really do look alike? Or Both.

Bloggingly, DAD

christy said...

Erik, can I just say you have the coolest parents, ever?

I just e-mailed all of my immediate family and told them about my blog and that I would love it if they read it, but I don't know if they will. I mean they will to see if I'm talking about them but I don't know if they will, will.

It was fun to e-mail my parents and tell the my blog name was

Speaking of which, you owe me comments.

And as far as chocolate and eggs going together, I think chocolate bunnies lay eggs but they may be chocolate or creme filled eggs, not real eggs.

I'm so glad you got a chocolate bunny. I didn't. But then I didn't say I wanted one. The last time someone got me a chocolate bunny, my mom got me a chocolate bunny and had it all presented in the guest room for me and my dad ate it right before I got there!

But still, I didn't say I wanted one. I'm going to stop being so coy with the universe. Because I did want a chocolate bunny.

Oh, and THIRD.

Bonnie said...

How is it POSSIBLE that I love you more with every blog post?

Erik said...

Mom, I think it's an "or what" thing. (I don't even know what that means. I think I was trying to call you weird.)

Erik said...

Dad, the hair is buzzed super super short. Thanks for thinking I'm handsome, but since everyone agrees that we look exactly alike, OF COURSE you would think I'm handsome. :)

Oh, sixth! (Or, wait, I made the last comment, so I guess I'm fifth!)

Erik said...

Christy, they are pretty cool. I'm enjoying your blog, by the way. Are you happy I just went and left comments?

Erik said...

Of course you're happy.

Erik said...

You better fucking be happy.

Erik said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwww, Bonnie!

LYMI, too.

christy said...

Erik, I was SO happy. I answered them all (I think). And...

My MOM commented on my blog!!! What a happy, happy, fucking happy awesome day.

I'm so glad you enjoy my blog. It's going to be a great challenge to write as often as possible while keeping the caliber high!

My mom's inner self is a PAM and that's the part that is coming out in her blog comments. That is what is awesome.

Although she did write me a private e-mail that said she loved it but was disturbed by the name and hoped I did not attract predators or perverts. Ha ha ha

Erik said...

"Although she did write me a private e-mail that said she loved it but was disturbed by the name and hoped I did not attract predators or perverts."

That is perhaps my favorite thing ever. I love your mom!

Bonnie said...

Love the mom/pervert email. Heeee!

And why is it that I'm only NOW realizing that you've said your phone has EYES?


Your phone?

I so have to see this thing.

Bonnie said...

Hey! You got your photo in your profile page! Yay, you!

Erik said...

BonBon, my phone is REALLY cool.

And do you know how I got my picture to appear with my comments??? By following your directions, of course!

christy said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom!!!

Bonnie said...

See, if everyone just followed my directions at all times...


TheDarkerUma said...

i can't see myself.

i like that.

Erik said...

Christy, I want to meet your mom and be really gay with her.

Erik said...

Bonnie, seriously, I thought it was really difficult until I had your directions and then, boom, literally 60 seconds later I had a picture with my comments.

Just, boom.

Erik said...

Urp, I am going to start hiding pictures of you on my blog--really visible pictures--so that when you least expect it, there will be a really visible picture of you online and you won't even know it, or you'll go crazy obsessively checking old posts to see when and where I've done it. I won't do it today, but one of these days...oh, I will drive you crazy! Ha!

TheDarkerUma said...

i hope you poop corn.

Erik said...

Ooooooooooo, you are more evil than I am. (Or are you?)

christy said...

Erik, I want you to meet my mom and give her the no-holds-barred (is that even the correct spelling/word choice?) GAM experience. Whatever that means.

Probably something to do with singing Broadway show tunes and flower arranging. And not having sex with her.

(eww I just talked about my mom not having sex)

Erik said...

Christy, your mom has never had sex, don't even think about it.

Erik said...

And we should totally work out a gay afternoon for me and your mom. She doesn't live nearby, though, does she? (Roadtrip!)

Erik said...

(Gay roadtrip!)

christy said...

They live in PA :(

But I'll be out here forever. She has to visit eventually. And if my dad is with her, well, he's easy enough. I don't even have to be like, "Dad. You'll have to hang out with a gay guy." I can just be like, "Dad. You'll have to hang out with people. You might even have to spend money on food."

And he'll have nothing to do with it. And my mom will be yours for the afternoon!

We will make it happen! The POSSOL (is outloud *out loud* or *outloud*?)! The POSSO/L!

But you're going to have to work on your car. It is so. not. gay. enough.

You will meet my mom.

Erik said...

You're right about my car, it's not even REMOTELY gay.

christy said...

maybe you could put pink rhinestone hubcaps on it.

christy said...

and some kind of lewd bumper sticker that makes a joke out of rear end

christy said...

I mean, just for my mom's visit.

Erik said...

I'm on top of it.

christy said...

But then I mean, you could keep them there after she leaves. If you wanted to. If you liked them.