Tuesday, April 04, 2006

New Thing #60: Billy Zabka is the name of my penis.

I was thinking about the fact that when I was fifteen-years-old, I named my girlfriends boobs. And then I was thinking about how a lot of guys name their penis. (Or am I crazy?) (Is that NOT something that guys do?) (Is that only something guys do on sitcoms and bad movies?) (Oh my god.) (Have YOU named YOUR penis?) (Whatever.) (I was still thinking about it.) And then I did this poll a few posts ago. And finally I got mad that my penis didn't have a name and I decided that it was time to name my penis.

So I named my penis Billy Zabka.


If you don't know who Billy Zabka is, well, he was only one of the most awesome actors to come out of the '80s. I am serious here. You might think I'm talking all tongue-in-cheek and shit, but I could not be more earnest. Billy Zabka was the jock-asshole-villian in Karate Kid and Just One of the Guys. (If you still don't know who he is, then you need to go rent those movies motherfucking now.) He achieved a bit of fame from those two movies and he's still working--he's still acting--but he hasn't ever quite reached the zenith peaks he reached with Karate Kid and Just One of the Guys. But he was fricking awesome in those movies. Like fucking kickass, you know? Such a badass. Such a dude. Such an awesome prick.

Which is why I think it's appropriate to name my penis after him.

I just did a google search of the phrase "Billy Zabka is..." and here's what the internet had to say about my penis:

Billy Zabka is the head of Cobra Kai.

Billy Zabka is still around.

billy zabka is my long lost lover.

Billy Zabka is THE guy who THE karate kid fights at THE end.

Billy Zabka is a jerk.

billy zabka is the best gift a girl could get on valentine's day.

Pretty cool, right?

206 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 206 of 206
Bonnie said...

I fully expect Billy Zabka to self-Google and land here. And maybe he has a blog!

Have you gotten anywhere with OMGTTFFTIHERIMEL yet?

Your Uma/Oprah grammer/grammar moment came from the "Feeding the Blog Beast" thread.

Did you ever have a satisfying poop after your non-satisfying poop?

As for Derrick having a blog, I don't think so. The list of RW/RR folks with websites (and blogs) is here and I don't see his name over on the left side of the page, upon first skim.

Erik said...

OMGTTFFTIHERIMEL =

Oh My God That's The Fucking Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read In My Entire Life!

??? Yes ???

Bonnie said...

Well done, KiK!

I say "funniest fucking" and you said "fucking funniest" but I'm still giving you an A+ on acronyms.

Woo hoo!

LYMI,

christy said...

Erik, last night after I got back from the gym, and after I watched "Big Love", I was still giggling about this as I sank into my bathtub.

And I love it that I'm not even quite sure on rereading which anonymouses (anonymii?) are you and which are me.

And this morning I thought that "The Anonymous Hippopotamus" would be one kick ass children's book.

Erik said...

I love that I don't know who wrote which comments either also! (Oh my god I need sleep.)

christy said...

Yeah, except for:

Laqueefa: Oh my gawd gf, I so know with it. Y'now wha i's sayin'?

Which is just well, utterly atrocious. It was my first foray into "ghetto-speak" and I think I demonstrate a sharp learning curve. But that's hardly an excuse. I didn't do Queef proud.

I mean, "I so know with it"??? What???

Thank God I really turned things around later with "warshizzle".

But, okay. I really, really like "warshizzle."

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 206 of 206   Newer› Newest»