I don't know if I've mentioned this on the blog yet, but I was hired as a permanent substitute (oxymoron much?) by this one high school, and I only sub in the English Department, so every day I'm in a different English class, which means that I'm getting to know all of the teachers here and the students all know me too and I'm even beginning to learn a lot of the kids names--even though there are, like, a million students here. However, there's only one me here, so pretty much all (or most) (or some) of the students definitely (probably) know my name by now. The thing is, they don't call me by my name. What do they call me? They call me "Jeff Goldblum."
Yeah. I'm fucking serious. They call me Jeff freaking Goldblum. As in, "Jeff Goldblum's our sub today!" Or, simply, "Mr. Goldblum!" Or "Hey Jeff Goldblum, how are the dinosaurs?"
See, they were all starting to realize how annoyed I would get every day when they'd say (every day): "Do you know who you look like?" and I'd roll my eyes and grumble "yes," and then they'd say it ("Jeff Goldblum") in case I didn't really know who I looked like (to them, at least), and so they decided to be teenagers and just call me "Jeff Goldblum" every time they saw me, and so then I decided not to give them the annoyed reaction they were looking for and to embrace the name, figuring that if they didn't get a reaction they'd get tired of calling me "Jeff Goldblum" and the name would die a natural death. But that hasn't happened yet. So now I'm stuck with the name.
And it's eating me alive.
So, if you see me in the halls and you call me "Jeff Goldblum," yes I'll respond, and no I won't roll my eyes, but you're killing me inside. Just, fyi.