Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Criminal Dog

It's been a really stressful 24 hours: My dog is a criminal now. She has a record.

One of my stepdad's friends brought over her seven-year-old granddaughter to meet Gia, because said seven-year-old granddaughter is terrified of dogs and she wanted to introduce the little girl to a nice one. But the little girl was so terrified that she just stood there, rigid, and (I wasn't there, but this is how I interpret the moment) Gia was freaked out by the little girl's fear and she nipped at the girl's leg because, like, why are you freaking out and standing there rigid like that??? (that's Gia's dog dialogue in my imagination)

Gia barely bit her. Blood was not drawn. It was all totally superficial. The girl was fine. (I'm not trying to justify a little girl being bitten--it's just that she honestly, truly was fine.) Her grandmother took her to the park for several hours and they played and the girl was cool.

But then the girl's overprotective mother (do you like how I've made the mother the villain of this story by calling her "overprotective"?) (but she is the villain of the story) (ugggg) found out about "the incident" and freaked out (SO freaked out) and accused us (not being hyperbolic here) of giving her daughter rabies (even though Gia got her rabies vaccine three months ago and we have the paperwork) and then the overprotective mother took her daughter to the emergency room (see! overprotective), where the doctors told her there was nothing to worry about, the skin had not even been broken, this mother was wasting their time. (Okay, they probably didn't say the thing about the mother wasting their time, but I bet they were thinking it!) Doctors are obligated to report all dog bites and so they reported Gia to Animal Control and I spent all last night tossing and turning (and grinding my teeth) (I still have a headached from the teeth grinding) (I don't usually grind my teeth, just when I'm really upset about something) (and I'm usually pretty mellow, I usually don't let things upset me too much, I usually let it go in time for bed) (but I couldn't let this go and I grinded) worrying that Animal Control was going to take my dog away.

Thankfully, that didn't happen. (Do you make wishes whenever you look at a digital clock that says 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, and so forth? Because whenever I see a clock with uniform numbers, I always make a wish, and I wished for Animal Control not to take Gia away at 11:11 p.m. last night, as well as at 2:22 a.m. this morning, and then again at 5:55 a.m.) (I told you I was up all night--I really was.) (Wishing on clocks works.) When the Animal Control woman came over, she could not have been nicer. She fell in love with Gia. Gia fell in love with her. (I think the latter love was because the woman smelled like lots of dogs and Gia wanted to eat her pants.)

And now Gia's totally a fucking criminal dog. She's on house arrest for the next ten days. Which is crazy because she's the sweetest dog ever (again, I'm not belittling the fact that she bit this girl, but I think she was trying to help the girl snap out of her fear) (and I understand that biting someone who's afraid of you isn't the way you get someone to not be afraid of you, but Gia's a dog for crying out loud), but at least she's not at the pound, and I'll be able to sleep tonight.


Anonymous said...

Erik, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I grew up with pets all my life, and some people think they're "just animals" but it really hurts when things like this happen to our beloved pets. I'm glad your dog didn't get anything more than house arrest. Can you imagine having to visit a parol officer? ;)

Anonymous said...

Gia sounds like an awesome dog. I would get snippy too if some little kid was just standing there and not doing anything. Gia was right when she was like all "why are you so frigid".

Clock wishing totally works!!!

Erik said...

Thank you, both of you!

Gia is doing very well, the little criminal. Her house arrest ends on Friday.